Hyellnasse: The Glass Thorn
by Iluvien
Summary: Kallindo's plans for building a peaceful, comfortable life for himself in Valinor are distrupted by a young, naive, and audacious elf maiden who is determined to help him do more than just survive eternity. Ch23: The Turning Point of Joy REVISED... NoSlas
1. Fancy

Disclaimer: see chapter one

Names/Pronunciations will come at the end of each chapter.

'' signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

****

**A/N:** I do not claim to have a good store of knowledge about Valinor. The fact that this story takes place there is inevitable since my OMC, Kallindo, got up and sailed there a couple hundred years back. I don't have the time to do much research. I shall try to be as vague and as nebulous about geography and the sociopolitical situation as I can in order to avoid the necessity of making up bogus details. Enjoy…

* * *

Chapter 1.) Fancy  
"""""  
Then let wingèd Fancy wander__

- John Keats  
"""""

May 2, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor

A comforting gust of sea air tangled with Calina's hair as she stepped out of the small carriage and looked up the long hill toward her family's home. A quiet smile spread across her face at the cheerful sight. It was a beautiful Elven residence, set in among a copse of white birches and commanding a breathtaking view of the waves below. Calina had only seen it twice before, on short visits, for her father had been appointed by ------- as Regent over the southern province of Eccaianórië a mere three years past. But the maiden still found herself drawn to the place because of the loved ones who dwelt within it. She had enjoyed her time away, apprenticing under the glass artisan Oiratinwë Calamau, but something in her spirit had told her that it was time for home. And so, after ten years absence, the young daughter of Regent Soronhín was returning to live with her family.

"Are you certain that you wish me to leave you here?' The elf who had driven her inquired.

Calina turned back to her escort and nodded. "Yes, thank you. If you would drive up around the hill you will come to the stables. The head groom will help take down my luggage, but you needn't concern yourself with any other duties. I am sure you will be given some refreshment before you leave. Oh, and do carry my best wishes and gratitude back to Lady Calamau when you depart."

"Very well then," the elf replied with a smile, "And what shall I tell your good parents when I arrive without their daughter?"

Turning back to look up at the manor Calina shrugged prettily. "Tell them that I am reacquainting myself with the land, and that when I have its good consent I will hurry home."

With a deep, gentle laugh the elf urged his horse onward.

Taking her light shawl from her shoulders and wrapping it carelessly around her waist, Calina cast her glance thoughtfully between the white sands below and the forested slopes above. The glistening waves of the sea were quite beguiling, and Calina wanted very much to wade knee-deep in the salty water. But that would have to wait for another day. If she was going to keep her family waiting in order to indulge her need for a few moments of quiet reflection, she would at least head toward home while doing so instead of away form it. Thus resolved, Calina departed the road and began winding up the green slope toward her new home.

It was not long before the maiden entered a small grove of evergreens which grew on the hills along with the birches. A delighted laugh bubbled out of her as she was enthusiastically greeted into the cool embrace of the trees. Apparently they had already grown to love her father and family and were thus disposed to think very kindly of her. Calina returned their greetings, trailing her hands lightly over the rough bark and low-hanging needles of the dark sentinels.

This encounter went so favorably that it was not long before the trees began whispering their secrets in Calina's listening ear. She heard many things about her family and even some about local Elves whom she did not yet know. But the most appealing piece of information to Calina was that her young brother, Falas, called the silver-leafed sapling by the fir trees, was sitting further up the hill, with someone whom the trees named a friend.

Calina's face lit up with affectionate mischief. Turning to the left, she stole silently up the hill, following the forest's gentle whispers and begging the trees not to spoil her fun. Falas was a precocious elfling, but without the aid of the forest she very much doubted that he would be able to detect her approach.

Calina began to hear soft voices conversing nearby. She crept over to the bole of an unusually large tree and peaked around it. Only a few feet away from her tree, Calina saw the back of what looked to be, in human standards, a eight or nine year old boy with shoulder-length silver hair caught up with a cord of leather: Falas. Shifting her head further, Calina expected to see another young elf; what she saw instead gave her pause.

Sitting a few feet away from her brother, with his profile to her, was a tall, lithe elf of some years, with chestnut hair quite unusual to the region falling freely to his lower back. A slight smile was curling at the edges of his mouth, which should have given his face a merry aspect but did not. It was a pleasant face, even a peaceful face, but not a merry face. Though she couldn't have sworn the fact, it seemed to Calina as if a shadow lingered in his eyes, one which had hitherto resisted cleansing in the light of Valinor. She found the sight very disconcerting, for rarely had she seen such a thing in her as yet short and sheltered life.

As Calina continued to observe the stranger an odd sensation coursed through her, causing her to withdraw back into the tree's protection. For some inexplicable reason, she had felt the urge to walk up to him and smooth whatever sorrow there was from his face, so that his smile would reach his eyes. Which was of course a ridiculous notion - no one can cast sorrow out of a person with a caress. Calina furrowed her brow and leaned up against the tree, being careful not to make any sounds. It was such a strange feeling.

A few moments later, Falas and the older elf began moving toward Calina's hiding place. Her brother was talking animatedly about something which she did not pay heed to. As the two Elves approached the tree and past it, Calina felt the need to hide herself from the stranger, and so moved around the tree in the other direction, keeping out of sight. She was certain that she didn't make a sound, which was why she was so surprised when a quick, strong hand darted from around the tree and pulled her from hiding.

"What is your purpose in sneaking about in the foliage, maiden?" the strange elf asked evenly. The smile still hung about his lips; it was obvious to him that this pretty maiden was no threat, though she had some steel in her eyes.

Calina tried not to huff at being caught so easily. She looked to her brother to clarify the situation, since he obviously knew this elf and would properly be the person to introduce them. Unfortunately, Falas was leaning up against a nearby tree laughing at her. Calina pursed her lips slightly.

"No harm intended, certainly, my lord," Calina said with exaggerated politeness while nodding her head to the stranger, since his hand on her arm prevented her from curtsying.

Falas continued to smirk as he jumped away from the tree and interjected himself into the exchange. "You can sneak up on me easily enough when I'm alone, Calina, but now that I have Kallindo with me you'll never be able to do it - he's a real warrior from Middle Earth!"

As soon as Kallindo heard the maiden's name he let go of her arm. "I am sorry, my lady, I did not know that you were Soronhín's daughter."

Calina was still trying to digest the fact that he was from across the sea when he apologized. Forgetting her manners, she looked up at him pointedly and asked, "Is that why you are sad? Because of your memories of Endórë (Middle-Earth)?"

As soon as the words slipped from her lips Calina's eyes widened perceptibly. "I am sorry, I should not have spoken... I mean, um, I am delighted to meet you, Lord Kallindo." She curtsied this time. "Calina, daughter of Soronhín and Danneniûl at your service, my lord."

With this hasty introduction out of the way, Calina turned from the confused elf in front of her to greet her young brother properly, kneeling down to give him a hug.

"Oh, come now, I'm not that short any more," Falas whined, wiggling from his sister's grasp.

The lady's boldness and perception stunned Kallindo, but he gathered his wits enough to turn to the young elf and shake his head slightly. "That is no good manner in which to speak to your lady sister, especially when she has been away from you."

The expression on Falas' face was almost comical as he sobered under Kallindo's reproof. For a moment, he looked on the elf with the wide-eyed wonder of a very young boy looking up to some hero from a story book then he turned back to his sister and gave her a dutiful hug. It was a short hug, however, and soon the boy was dashing up the hill.

"Come on, Calina, I must show you my new horse!"

Calina chuckled and rose from her knees, looking tentatively back at her older companion. He smiled agreeably enough and Calina let her mind relax, feeling that perhaps her strange words from the moment before would be looked over and forgotten.

"You have yet to visit the house, I gather. Shall we?"

Kallindo extended his arm politely, and quietly Calina took it. The pair began ascending the now gently sloping hill.

"Why did I find you spending the afternoon with my brother?" Calina finally asked to break the silence between them.

Kallindo thought for a moment before beginning his explanation. "Your father and I have become well-acquainted since he came to live here. He came to know that I was a Silvan elf of Endórë, and unlike some who were born here, felt that there were things to be learned from our kin's experience beyond the sea. We came to converse regularly, and since I live here away from my close kin he has always welcomed me graciously into his home, for which I am ever increasingly grateful. As you know, surely, your brother is enamored by any tale of war and adventure that he can come by, so your father came up with way for me to repay his kindness. Three times a week I sit with your brother and tell him about Middle Earth and about its peoples, and soon I will begin to teach him swordcraft."

Calina nodded her head, looking up fondly to where Falas was beckoning them to walk faster. "Now that I think of it, it seems that I have heard your name mentioned before, perhaps in a letter, though I can't be sure," Calina mused, looking back at Kallindo. "You are Silvan then?"

"Aye, mostly."

"I have hardly had any acquaintance with Silvan elves before. I shall be glad to know you better."

"And I am glad to oblige any child of Soronhín's."

For some reason this reply did not satisfy Calina. It seemed a little humbling to be seen merely as a friend's daughter and not a friend in her own right. But it didn't matter. After all, she had never even seen this elf before, and he was surely a good deal older then her anyway, so there was no reason to fuss about it.

Another question came to Calina's mind as she and Kallindo approached the stables behind Falas.

"Why do you live away from your family? What draws you here?"

"The sea is comforting," Kallindo replied.

Their conversation ended abruptly as Falas enthusiastically pulled his sister down the stable aisle, jabbering all the while.

As the two siblings were quite caught up in each other at the moment, Kallindo departed wordlessly from the stables and walked across the courtyard to the main entrance of the Regent's home. Upon entering the circular foyer, over which was painted a magnificent mural of the Two Trees, he passed a pile of assorted luggage. A wry smile crept across his face as he imagined the numerous amount of clothes that must be crammed into the various trunks and sacks. Ránendë, the daughter of Soronhín whom he had long been acquainted with, was certainly not so concerned with fashion as to require such a large wardrobe. Kallindo wondered briefly if this second daughter would live up to his expectations. After knowing the rest of her family, he had prepared himself to meet another very affable and sensible elf. So far, Calina's behavior had been curious at best, though she did seem to harbor a genuine affection for her younger brother. Only time would tell.

Hearing the delicate notes of a harp lilting down the hallway to his right, Kallindo walked confidently toward the one fully enclosed room in the house – the music room – and found, as he had expected, Ránendë sitting in her favorite window seat, her thick golden tumbling almost to the floor.

"Your sister is here, Ránendë."

Ránendë put aside the harp with a smile. "Where is she then? I cannot wait to tell her my news."

"What news, pray?"

Danneniûl, the lady of the house, came out from a room further down the hallway with a ripped cloak that she had been mending in her hand. Soronhín's family had never grown accustomed to having a multitude of servants and even now, after her husband's appointment, Danneniûl liked to keep her hands in the affairs of her household.

"Calina is here, _amil_ (mother)."

Danneniûl smiled. "Where is my lost child? I shall go to her now."

"I left her in the stables, m'lady," Kallindo replied.

Without further ado the two ladies swooped from the room and hurried to the stables. Kallindo walked slowly behind and witnessed the sincere reunion of the three she-elves. It brought a smile to his face, even if Calina was still an uncertainty.

"Your father did not expect you home until two hours hence," Danneniûl explained, "He is gone to witness the progress of the new water system for the southern towns, but he will be home soon."

"I know I am early," Calina conceded, "But come, I cannot wait for _atar_ (father) to return to show what I have brought you all."

Falas, who had been standing aside, neglected by the lady-folk, perked up at this declaration. He always welcomed a good surprise.

Leading them back toward the house, Calina entered and knelt beside the largest trunk. After unfastening the catch she reverently opened the lid and began folding back layers of soft cloth. One by one, she withdrew cloth-wrapped parcels from the trunk and began setting them out on the marble floor. After this task was completed she turned to Falas and beckoned him to come closer.

"This is what I made especially for you."

Calina picked up one of the larger packages and folded away the cloth. What was revealed surprised even Kallindo. He had known that she was away learning how to craft glass with a well-known artisan but had not expected her skill to be of any note after so short a time (as the elves perceive time). Yet here before his eyes was an intricately crafted box of painted glass filled with a menagerie of glass warriors and fell beasts. Though martial in theme, is held an enchanting beauty.

"I hope I have not made them too delicate," Calina commented.

Falas smiled over his present. "I can put them up on my window to catch the sun."

Calina smiled. "Yes, do that."

Next the young lady turned to her mother and then her sister, giving them each presents in turn. When she was done with that she set aside her father's present and then sat back on her heels with a sigh.

"I have brought several other things that I didn't wish to part with, though I'm sure I'll soon regret them when they start collecting dust. And look at this ridiculous amount of luggage. You must have all thought I had turned vain while on my own in the city."

Calina looked up and caught Kallindo's eye accidentally. The elf did an admirable job of schooling his features in an unreadable pose. But to himself he was laughing.

'Perhaps I shouldn't judge this maiden too quickly,' he mused. But aloud he posed a question: "I can see that your skill has been put to good use. But is not Oiratinwë known for her fanciful creations? These gifts all seem very serviceable."

"Certainly," Calina agreed, "Lady Calamau insists that her pupils learn to be useful first. She says that it is better to come to understand beauty through everyday objects. I have never worked anything truly 'fanciful' under her supervision, and would not do so unless I had stayed for many more years."

"Yet I'll wager you have done so without her supervision."

Kallindo spoke the words without really thinking; the way her eyes had skimmed around the room as she gave her explanation seemed telling.

A bright smirk flashed across Calina's face. "Perhaps, sir, perhaps."

* * *

Soronhín was unusually tall, even for an Elf, with thick silver hair kept unusually short, only to his shoulders. Danneniûl would sometimes quibble about this fact, for she thought his hair was beautiful and would be even more so were he to let it grow fully. But he had remained unmoved on the matter, despite her occasional plea, for the more than two millennia of their marriage.

Despite the length of their marriage, Soronhín and Danneniûl had only taken up parenthood in the last three centuries. Ránendë, their eldest, was lately turned two hundred and twenty-six. The advent of child rearing had produced many changes for the both of them, but ones which they had been more than willing to make. As Soronhín sat by the fire after dinner with Calina at his feet, resting her head against his knee, he smiled and was reminded once more how much he enjoyed fatherhood, even if his children did drive him to distraction from time to time.

Soronhín sighed, laying his hand affectionately on Calina's head. "And what do you think of the news, little one?"

Calina tilted her eyes up to meet his. "I think it is delightful. Ránendë is so excited and happy. I can't wait to meet her betrothed – will he be there tomorrow?"

Soronhín nodded his head slowly. His daughter continued to watch him as he gazed into the fire.

"You look a little forlorn, _atto_ (daddy). Ránendë will only be moving a few miles away."

"I know, I know," the elf chuckled, "But it is an odd thing to give away your first daughter. You are not planning on falling in love soon, are you?"

Calina shrugged. "I have no immediate plans."

With a ruffle of her hair, Soronhín rose from his seat. "Good, good. I would have to chase the would-be suitor away. I won't give you up yet."

Turning to watch him as he departed the north sitting room with her mother, Calina toyed with the end of her silver braid. She didn't feel like retiring for the evening. With a sly look, she glanced through the open pillars to where the edge of the sea stretched northward out of sight. It was time for a starlit swim.

* * *

Kallindo departed Soronhín's house shortly after the elf arrived, leaving the family to dine in peace together. He took his own supper alone that night, in his modest home situated between the Regent's house and the town of Fánlitsë. Afterward he had wandered out to the beach, to watch the colors of the setting sun dance out across on the water. The great light had finally sunk behind the hills when Kallindo observed a slender figure slip out of the trees to the south and wend down the steep bank from the road to the sandy shore.

Very soon Kallindo realized that it was Calina, his friend's daughter. A smile touched his lips as he observed her look back apprehensively as though she was afraid that her departure would be discovered and her plans thwarted. For a moment Kallindo wondered what her plans actually were and whether it would be _his_ duty to thwart them, but it was not long before her intentions became apparent: a nighttime walk along the beach. That was innocent enough.

Kallindo had not planned on going in yet, and so he continued in his treetop perch despite the approaching figure, watching the maiden and the sea and the sky at casual intervals. It was only when Calina was within several yards of the tree that she captured Kallindo's full attention.

The hidden elf watched with amusement as his friend's daughter lifted her skirts up and waded into the calm waves of the small bay. She walked further out for a few feet, swishing the water about her calves and digging her toes into the comforting sand. Kallindo decided at that very moment that he approved of the girl after all. She loved her family, was not vain, and appreciated the sea. This was certainly enough.

With a contented mind, Kallindo leaned back against the trunk of the tree and returned his gaze to the stars. Unfortunately, his quiet contemplation was once again disturbed by an unusual sound of rustling fabric and a flutter of movement at the edge of his vision.

'Certainly she has not,' he thought incredulously.

Looking down to where the maiden had been his eyes widened slightly and he paused, thinking what to do next.

She had. There, on the dry sand of the beach, lay a rumpled pile of cloth: her dress. There, on the maiden herself, was nothing more then a knee-length, sleeveless slip, which was itself floating dangerously upward as she waded further into the water. Kallindo had just roused himself enough to call out to her when the maiden slid fully into the water, pushing gracefully up from the sandy floor and making a shallow dive into the waves.

A mild imprecation passed Kallindo's lips as he jumped down from the tree. If her were the only one present he would laugh and walk away, thinking nothing of the youthful fancy. But on the contrary, he knew that the dark forest hedging in close to the beach was home to several tree flets and small earthbound houses, occupied largely by a handful of relatively young and eligible elves who had struck out on their own, away from the town.

As Kallindo neared the water's edge, Calina's head came up out of the water.

"My lady!" Kallindo called in an urgent whisper, "_Soronhíniell_ (daughter of Soronhín), this place is not as secluded as it appears, you must come back."

Calina turned back to the shore with a start.

"Oh! My lord, you startled me… But why must I come back?"

"Many of the young, unmarried elves from the town have come to live here in the trees. You may have an audience."

Calina could feel a blush rising up her cheeks, though she was sure that the silvery starlight hid it well.

"Oh," she whispered quietly.

She made to come out of the water, but then hesitated. Looking down she could see how transparent her shift had become. How would she even escape with propriety?

Noting her hesitation, Kallindo took off his boots and began wading into the water. As he was walking out, he also took off his long, outer tunic and draped it over his shoulder.

"No, no, bring my dress. You do not have to give me your tunic," Calina called when she saw his intention.

Kallindo smirked. "Your dress is thin and lightly colored as well – it would not serve you."

When the pair finally drew close to one another, Calina still crouching down to her neck in the water and Kallindo submerged up to his waist, the maiden smiled bashfully.

"I am sorry to cause you so much trouble."

"It is only water. My clothes will dry," Kallindo said practically as he handed the tunic to Calina.

The maiden pulled the clothing over her head and down around her body. It was now thoroughly soaked. With much dripping and sloshing, the pair made it back to the shore and regarded each other for a moment.

"After today, I would say that this is the start of a most interesting friendship," Calina chuckled as she spoke, "Though I must say, I do not think I have appeared in the best of lights."

"Nay, you are young and exuberant. There is nothing wrong in that."

Again Calina experienced a sense of humbling; he looked on her only as a child.

'But I am barely more than a child,' she reminded herself, bending down to wring out her borrowed tunic. When she looked up again she saw the same pernicious cloud in Kallindo's eyes as she had seen earlier that day. A sudden resolve came over her.

'I shall just have to make him see me for more than that. I will reach the bottom of that shadow and pluck it out before he even suspects it.'

Kallindo watched as an oddly determined smile spread across Calina's face. The maiden turned to him and tilted her head slightly to the side.

"I am glad to have met you, Kallindo. Shall you be at the festivities tomorrow?"

"Yes, though I may not stay late."

Calina started walking back toward her home.

"Good," she called back, "Then I shall see you there."

* * *

Things to Know:

Q-Quenya

S-Sindarin

Calina (KAH-lin-ah): Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo (kahl-LIN-do): Q. "noble heart"

Falas (FAHL-ahss): S. "beach, shore"

Soronhín (sor-ON-heen): Q. "eagle child"

Danneniûl (dahn-NEN-ee-ool): S. "fallen embers"

Ránendë (ra-NEN-deh): Q. "moon pool"

"""""

Eccaianórië (ehk-kay-a-NOR-ee-eh): Q. "outer sea region"

Oiratinwë Calamau (oi-rah-TIN-weh…): Q. "eternal spark/light hands"

Fánlitsë (fan-LIT-she): Q. "white sand"

Endórë: Q. "Middle Earth"

amil/amme: "mother/mommy"

atar/atto: "father/daddy"

"""""

By Ilúvien


	2. This Side of the Horizon

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

* * *

Chapter 2.) This Side of the Horizon__

Dance there upon the shore;

What need have you to care for wind or water's roar?

And tumble out your hair that the salt drops have wet;

Being young you have not known the fool's triumph, nor yet

Love lost as soon as won

- W. B. Yeats

May 3, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor

A cheer rose up from the revelers as Regent Soronhín and his family came over a small dune and entered the ring of bonfires. In honor of their son's recent betrothal to Ránendë, Ehtúro's parents were hosting the elves in and around Fanlitsë to an evening celebration on the white sands north of the town. The sun was just beginning to set, but many elves were already scattered around the fires, helping to prepare the meal and uncork the wine.

Calina was thoroughly enchanted by the simple arrangements before her. Everyone present was garbed in simple spring garments and were conversing around the fires or splashing in the nearby surf without the least hint of pretense. The dusky glow of the setting sun behind the tree crested dunes cast the setting with delicate highlights while the smell of roasting fish and baking apples tantalized the senses.

A silver-haired elf approached Soronhín and his lady. Ránendë cast an eager look toward her sister, who then took greater care to observe the new comer as he respectfully saluted her parents. Apparently this was Ránend's betrothed.

After a few words were exchanged Soronhín and Danneniûl passed by Ehtúro, with Falas in tow, and went to join a small cluster of elders, leaving the elf behind with their daughters.

Before another word past, Ehtúro stepped up to Ránendë and folded her into his arms, claiming a bold kiss from her. Calina arched her eyebrows slightly and looked away, smirking. Quite a few moments had passed before she finally let out one or two pointed coughs.

A breathy giggle escaped Ránendë as she pulled away from her intended. Ehtúro smiled broadly, placing a last kiss on her forehead before letting her escape from his arms to draw Calina closer.

"Sister, this is he of whom I spoke. Ehtúro, meet my sister, Calina."

"A very happy meeting," Ehtúro spoke gallantly as he leant over Calina's hand to place a chaste kiss upon it. "I am honored."

"And I as well," Calina replied merrily. "You have made my sister very happy."

A few more minutes of introductory pleasantries past before Ehtúro pulled Ránendë off to a shadowy corner of the beach where he had laid out a blanket over the sand for her. As Calina watched them go she shook her head slowly in amusement.

Needing some new diversion, Calina made her way toward the water. She saw several elves of approximately her age wading out into the ocean or traversing a spine of jagged rocks which jutted a few feet out of the water and stretched as far as a furlong from the shore. All of them knew who she was by the very fact that they had never been introduced before and were ready enough to welcome her into their midst, at first deferentially and then with all the gusto of youth. It was not long before the skirt of Calina's turquoise-colored gown was quite damp and her laughter echoed around the bay with that of the others.

The sun had completely set when a call rang out, signaling the start of the feast. With much teasing and carousing the males elves of Calina's party jostled with each other over who would escort which lady back to dinner. Finally, a pert little golden-haired maiden declared that the she-elves should have their own say. Calina was highly entertained by this exchange and entered the fray enthusiastically, merrily commanding one of her new acquaintances, a jolly potter's son, to lead her to the feast. There was an extra amount of good humor on the account of one he-elf who, since there were more females than males, was forced to have a maiden on each arm.

When they reached the ring of bonfires, Calina left her escort with a nod and a smile and went to stand beside her family as Ehtúro's mother and father welcomed their guests and publicly gave their blessing to the impending marriage. After this, the elves around the fires withdraw the fish and the spiced apples from the coals and placed them on large woven platters. These platters were then placed out among the guests, who sat round them and ate with their hands.

"Yes, Falas, go sit with your friends," Soronhín allowed his antsy young son to leave the present adult company.

"And that goes for you as well, Calina," Danneniûl urged, "I am sure you would rather sit with your new acquaintances."

The maiden chuckled. "Are you so quick to send me away after only a day home? Fine then, I shall be off."

Calina kissed her mother's cheek affectionately before standing up and beginning to walk around the perimeter of the fires to where she could see some of her new friends feasting.

However, she never reached her destination, for on the way she came upon someone who captured her attention.

"My lord, good eve. I did not see you before." Calina drifted over to where Kallindo was sitting with a few other elves, quietly eating. Without any ceremony, she sat down beside the Silvan elf and began helping herself from their platter.

"I had it in mind to drop off your tunic on the way to the festivities but then realized that I did not know which flet was yours. Thank you again for letting me borrow it. I'll be sure to return it tomorrow if you like. I made sure to have it cleaned, of course. Oh, and the stitching around your collar – I noticed it's unusual pattern and meant to ask you about it. Is that a design from across the sea?"

Kallindo couldn't help smiling at the talkative maiden. He was somewhat bewildered by her persistent friendliness to an elf almost as old as her father, but at least it was amusing.

"I believe that it may be, my lady," Kallindo replied congenially, "but I confess that I do not know. It was a gift."

"A gift?" Calina grimaced, "Oh now I feel even worse for the adventure. At least it was only water."

Kallindo raised an eyebrow but did not reply. Instead, he turned to his previous companions, who were trying not to look overly curious, and introduced Calina to each in turn. Calina very graciously accepted the introductions and Kallindo watched with mounting surprise as she easily slipped into the role of a proper Regent's daughter: inquiring and conversing for several minutes about the affairs of the region and generally making herself agreeable to all present despite her short years.

When the conversation dipped into a lull Kallindo leaned toward his new young friend and commented softly. "Do you often make a habit of playing the diplomat? You do it very well."

Calina tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"You're quite the conversationalist. The elf sitting across from us is seven thousand years old and does not have much patience with youth. But I think he likes you."

"I heard that," the aforementioned elf interjected gruffly, but with a merry look in his eyes.

Kallindo flashed a smile at the elf and winked. Calina ducked her head and chuckled.

"Most elflings are raised by parents significantly younger than my own," she began to explain, "I think that such a circumstance must affect the way one thinks and behaves."

As Calina spoke, the sound of pipes and drums began to fill the air. The maiden's eyes brightened perceptibly.

"But as you already know, my lord, I am no old soul. Indeed, I am still subject to such silly, youthful impulses as the desire for music and dancing and merriment. Won't you come?"

Kallindo eyed her with a confused expression. "You're inviting me to dance?"

The seven-thousand-year-old elf broke out into hearty laughter. "Come now, Kallindo," he chided, "You are still yet too young to consign yourself to this agèd circle. Go dance with the young lady."

Before he could mount a sufficient protest, Kallindo found himself among the revelers, both old and young, who were dancing with hands linked in the light of the fires. He had not danced for many years and for a moment the movements seemed odd and unnatural. But soon, very soon – much sooner than his mind was thoroughly comfortable with, in fact – he found himself beginning to actually enjoy the celebration. Calina continued to be his partner through two festive dances and her innocent enthusiasm was strangely infectious. He almost felt sad when she was claimed for the fourth dance by a young elf from the town.

* * *

"Whatever are you after, sister dear?" Ránendë came up to a breathless Calina, nudging her side affectionately. "Did not I see you dancing with Kallindo some little while ago?"

Calina smiled, sinking down onto the cool sand to rest for a few minutes. "Indeed you did. Is there something peculiar in this? He dances well enough."

"He does," Ránendë agreed, settling herself down beside her sister, "But I could not have told you so before tonight. I cannot recall that I have ever seen him dance before. I wonder how you charmed him into it."

"I charmed no one!" Calina laughed, "I only asked him – there was no shocking struggle. Surely you place consequence on an incident that is not in the least of note."

Ránendë was on the verge of conceding her point when she saw Calina's mouth twitch with an ill-suppressed smile. "You little chit! Trying to fool your own sister. Come now, have out with it. What is stirring in that quick mind of yours?"

Calina flopped back onto the sand, pulling Ránendë down with her. "No doubt you will think I am very silly," she whispered, "But I have set a mission for myself…"

"And it is?" Ránendë encouraged, waiting expectantly for the delayed answer.

"To cheer up my lord melancholy, of the light brown hair, and teach him to act his age," she replied blithely. "Why, he cannot be as old as father, I know it. And certainly he should not be filled with such an air of sobriety at such a time in his life. I don't know what it is that weighs him down, but I'm determined to help him be rid of it."

An incredulous chuckle bubbled out of Ránendë and she turned on her side, looking at her sister directly. "And why has this spurt of goodwill and meddling come so suddenly upon you?"

Calina shrugged. There really wasn't any other answer at the moment.

Seeing her sister's set jaw, Ránendë sighed and turned on her back once more, gazing at the stars. Around the fires many elves were still dancing, the sounds of their merriment mixing in the thin night air and washing over the two maidens like the soft waves of a calm sea.

"I must warn you," Ránendë finally spoke, "Kallindo's sorrows may go quite a bit deeper than you are prepared to deal with. He is of Endórë (Middle Earth), and much heartache took place there which I cannot even begin to imagine. And I have also heard whispers of something else… I believe that Kallindo was spurned in love some years ago, before his crossing. He may never recover."

Calina snorted in a most unbecoming way. "You were never one to be so fatalistic, Ránendë. Are you saying that he is now cursed to forever live a half-life? I do not believe that Ilúvatar would create such an unjust world. There is always a way to peace. Elves have to live in this world, we are bound to it for better or worse, and there must be some way to get through it. It is in our nature."

"Well yes," Ránendë agreed, sitting up to look back to the ring of fires, "Peace certainly. But you cannot expect him to frolic in the daisies as though nothing had happened. He may simply have to settle–"

"Settle nothing, I say," Calina interjected forcefully. "He is proclaimed to be warrior of Middle Earth. If he cannot conquer a bruised heart, with a little help, of course, then I shall judge him as naught. It isn't as though he has ever been bound – one can see that plainly"". It is a truth that the bond a marriage can pull an elf to his grave, but love that never comes to fruition," Calina shook her head, "I think that it all depends on what one is willing to do with it."

Ránendë shook her head in amazement. "You are so odd."

"Odd I may be," Calina conceded, "But I am enjoying myself immensely– Oh, look! There is lord Kallindo himself, trying to sneak off like he said he would. I shall have to try and stop him."

Despite her sister's pleas to leave the poor elf alone, Calina hopped to her feet and twirled out of the firelight laughing.

* * *

Calina truly did not know what urged her to persist in her quest, but for some reason that didn't seem to matter at all. She was simply doing what seemed best to her at the time. And how could her mission fail to produce good results, even if it only meant that Kallindo would resign himself to occasionally dancing at social functions? And certainly, nothing ill would come of it.

"What do you pine for, my lord?" Calina asked saucily, hopping out from some bushes onto the path in front of Kallindo.

To her surprise the elf did not look startled, merely puzzled.

"Why are you here and why do you ask?" he replied softly.

Calina spoke in a half-teasing, half-coaxing voice: "I saw you trying to sneak away. But the night is still young. You should come dance with me again. It is never good to be the first one to leave a gathering of friends."

"Be that as it may, if I persist in moving on I do not think that you can successfully waylay me, milady," Kallindo smiled wryly, "As your brother might say, I am a _great warrior_ from across the sea, and you are but a mere _vend_ (maiden)."

Calina laughed gaily. "You do not frighten me, sir. Especially with a smile on your face."

Kallindo's smile broadened slightly as he turned his head away. He finally looked back with expectant eyes. "You did not answer my second question."

"Oh yes," Calina began, assuming an air of thoughtfulness, "You simply look as though you long for something – as though you are continually waiting for something to come over the horizon. It makes me wonder if you have never thought to go looking for it yourself. Waiting must be very tiresome."

A flash of anxiety dated through Kallindo's eyes. "Nay, lady, that is impossible. I have given up my hope on what lies beyond the horizon, and I shall have to do well enough without it."

Calina shook her head. "That is foolish. No one knows what may lie beyond sight. How can you wisely determine to give something up if you know not what it is?" Kallindo looked at her curiously and so she continued, choosing her words carefully. "I do not speak of what you _expect_, my lord. I speak of new discoveries. Waiting, as I said, is a tiresome business, and if you wait too long, moss will begin to grow upon you."

Kallindo knitted his brows slightly and looked at the maiden before him for several minutes. Finally he let out a soft breath and shook his head.

"You are a strange wonder," he finally spoke, "I do not quite know what to do with you. Are you an oracle to speak thus, or are you simply a naïve maiden who cannot understand? I don't know."

As a soft wind began to play in Calina's silver hair, she stepped around Kallindo and began walking back to the fires.

"Unfortunately, my lord, I cannot reason with you until you have made up your mind on that point," she called back. "You know where I live if you ever care to continue the conversation."

Kallindo chuckled softly, bewildered by her strange words. Was she refreshingly direct or simply confusing? He was about to continue walking on, toward his quiet, dark flet, when the drummers picked up a stronger beat behind him. He looked back toward the gathering and then watched for a few moments as Calina walked away from him down the path.

"Lady Calina," he called out, beginning to walk in the same direction.

Calina looked back at Kallindo curiously, wondering what else was on his mind. She was admittedly not quite prepared for what she heard next.

"I feel as though your words hold some significance for me, though I cannot yet determine their worth. Nevertheless, you have taught me one lesson this night." Kallindo extended his arm to her with a crooked smile. "I mean to retire, my lady, whatever who have to say against it… but perhaps you would honor me with one last dance before I go."

* * *

1. Elves can recognize whether another elf was married/bound by merely looking at them (Tolkien's essay "Laws and Customs of the Eldar").

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina (KAH-lin-ah): Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo (kahl-LIN-do): Q. "noble heart"

Falas: S. "beach, shore"

Soronhín: Q. "eagle child"

Danneniûl (dahn-NEN-ee-ool): S. "fallen embers"

Ránendë: Q. "moon pool"

Ehtúro (eh-TOOR-oh): "spear victor"

Fánlitsë: Q. "white sand"

Endórë: Q. "Middle Earth"

vendë: "maiden"

Replies of Note:

****

**Jazmin3 Firewing:** I'm glad you like the story and I'll try to update as often as I can, though school is quite hectic. grrrrrr As far as **pronunciation** goes, I'm using the rules outlined in the Quenya course on Ardalambion (http:www.uib.no/People/hnohf/qcourse.htm). I've looked over the notes I made when going through the section on pronunciation and I'm pretty sure that I lined up with all the stipulations (most notably, the rules for syllable stress within the word are more complicated than just stressing all the long vowel syllables). As far as vowel sounds go, my impression is that Quenyan short and long vowel sounds are extremely similar to Latin short and long vowel sounds, and that the major difference between short and long is more one of sound than stress (e.g. e "eh", é "ay"). At least, this is how I remember it. But, if you want to pronounce the names differently, go right ahead. I am no scholar.

"""""

Iluvien


	3. A Preliminary Understanding

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

* * *

Chapter 3.) A Preliminary Understanding  
  
""""" _  
Tender-hearted, in your lonely sorrow _

_I would fain comfort you_

George William

"""""

May 7, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor

"Yes, yes, I know," Falas hopped away from Kallindo and bent down to examine a small, broken conche shell.

Kallindo smiled benignly. "Oh you do? Well then, can you tell me who ruled Eryn Galen during the second age of the sun?"

Falas' young face scrunched up in concentration then a bright smile dawned on his face as he picked up the spiraled remnant of the conche shell. "King Oropher! And he fought giant spiders."

The elfing thrust his piece of shell out into the air before him as though plunging a sword through the heart of some dangerous beast. For a few moments he darted ahead of Kallindo, felling imaginary spiders as he went.

"And who was king after him?" Kallindo called, knowing that his lesson had been largely lost on the rambunctious child that afternoon but not yet ready to give up the endeavor.

Falas turned back to Kallindo with an innocent expression, his small lips pursed tightly.

"He fought with the Last Alliance and killed _many_ giant spiders," Kallindo coaxed, "And his name begins with a T."

Falas turned away from Kallindo once more and began shuffling down the beach, his head bent.

"Thran..." he began to say experimentally as he lifted his head once more. His correct answer was snatched away from him, however, as he spotted his sister some ways down the beach.

"Look, it's Calina!"

And without another word the young elf dashed across the sand toward where his sister was kneeling a few hundred feet away from them. Kallindo watched him go with an indulgent smile. Of a truth, he was often secretly pleased with how few details were impressed upon Falas' mind when he spoke with him. They were far away from Endórë Middle Earth now and there was little need for such a young heart to dwell on its sorrows.

With relaxed steps Kallindo followed after his charge, his thoughts turning to Lady Calina herself as he observed her peculiar occupation. She seemed to be scraping white sand into various leather sacks. What scheme was simmering in her pretty head now?

A wry smile flitted across Kallindo's face. He was still curious as to how she had managed to keep him for two more dances after he had determined to leave the gathering of four nights before. His curiosity was piqued even more by her strange words of that night. If it had not been for the eerie glow of the fires he would have said that her eyes held a prophetic gleam.

Kallindo shook his head. As he looked on the young maiden now he could discern nothing either ominous or mysertious about her, except perhaps her apparent need for sackfulls of white sand.

"Good morn, my lord," Calina greeted him, wiping a few errant strands of silver hair from her face with the back of her hand, trying not to get sand in her eyes. "It is good to see you again."

Bowing slightly from where he stood, still a few yards off, Kallindo approached with a calm demeanor. As he did so, Falas wandered off again with his shell in hand, scouring the sand for other hidden treasures.

"You have been closeting yourself away, I hear," he commented, "Strange noises are coming from the workshop behind your fathers house, but Falas cannot give me any sound information. Of a truth, after being inundated with your company upon your arrival I found it rather strange that you would lock yourself away so suddenly."

Calina ducked her head to hide her chagrin at his comment.

From the brief glimpse that Kallindo had of the lady's face he quickly realized his foible. "Forgive me, 'inundated' was certainly an ill chosen word. You're company is of course most pleasant."

Calina looked back up with curious eyes. "Is it? I did not stop to consider the audacity of my actions during the revelries until Ránendë scolded me the next morning... not that she didn't scold me that night, I simply paid her no heed. I am sorry if I imposed upon your good will. I do have the tendency to stretch an inch into a league." A merry gleam filtered into her bright gaze. "But you appeared to enjoy yourself well enough, so I shall assume that I did no great damage."

Kallindo sat down onto the sand. "You may."

"But that is not the reason I closeted myself away," Calina continued, starting to close up her satchels of sand.

The Elf beside her merely raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I _told_ you, my lord," Calina replied saucily, "if you decided that I was more than just an ignorant maiden you would know where to find me. I am quite willing to continue our conversation if you have come to a favorable decision about me."

Kallindo had the good grace to bow his head in regret. "I spoke hastily. Certainly, any child of Soronhín is bound to have a sound mind. But that does not mean that you could not be mistaken."

Calina smiled. "Fair enough, though I still hold to what I said."

"Fair enough," Kallindo mimicked.

A few moments of silence passed between them before Calina spoke: "But come, enough of this conversation, I must cart all of this sand back to my workshop before luncheon. Father began setting up a glass works for me as a welcoming home present and I am very eager to begin my toil anew. That is what occupied me during my disappearance – I was helping one of the servants to set everything up properly."

"You mean to continue you're work then?"

"Indeed," Calina replied, getting up from her position beside Kallindo.

Warm laughter began to flow from Kallindo's lips a moment later. Calina was quite confused.

"What is so amusing, my lord?"

"Now I understand what the sand is for," he smiled up at her, "For the firing of glass. I suppose it would befit me well to aid you."

Calina smirked. "Yes, it would."

The pair had hefted the sandbags and walked a few paces toward the green hill that rose up from the beach when Calina chuckled softly.

"What did you think I might want with so much sand – to flour myself with it? There are many strange fashions in the city, I can assure you, but that is certainly not one of them."

"I really had no idea," Kallindo replied, "It only seemed odd to see a Regent's daughter playing in the sand. You seemed a bit old for that."

"Oh, but there are few things that one can ever be too old for," Calina avowed, "Would you believe that I made a sandcastle with my sister but five years ago? And you may be assured, it was a very grand one indeed."

The two had reached Calina's small hand-cart and begun to unload their baggage as Kallindo spoke. "I thought you did not always live near the sea."

"Nay, you are mistaken. Our family did not always live here, but before that we lived further up the coast. I am an ocean child."

Kallindo turned back to the beach and called out to Falas, "Should you like a cart ride?"

The young boy came bounding across the sand with great enthusiasm and soon the elder two Elves were treking, and the young one was being pushed, steadily along the path that led up and around the hill.

* * *

Calina smiled secretively to herself. The morning was turning out to be quite successful. Ránendë had mentioned that Falas and Kallindo were off to visit the tide pool but there had been no gaurantee that they would return along the shoreline. However, her need for sand had been genuine and the fact that she was given the opportunity of accosting Kallindo on his return journey had merely been an added attraction.

Despite her ponderings over the last few days she still could not quite pinpoint why she was so interested in the elf. She had met with several of the village youths since her return home and they were all pleasant and engaging, and more importantly, they seemed to be the most logical and suitable company for her.

Her heart held no adolescent infatuation for Kallindo – of that she was certain. She was not so fanciful as to work up such an illusion in her mind. Of course, his chestnut hair _was_ most uncommon and handsome, but certainly nothing to conjure up the feeling of ease that she felt in his presence.

Kallindo walked silently beside her now, effortlessly pushing the barrow of sand and an elfling up the path. She gazed at him from the corner of her eye, taking in his able form and strong hands. He was quite handsome.

Calina rolled her eyes and turned her head to the right, gazing back out toward the sea. She brought a thick lock of her silver hair forward and began playing with the end.

"Is something amiss?" Kallindo asked, with a touch of amusement in his voice.

Calina pursed her lips slightly, reminding her companion of the expression which Falas had recently bestowed upon him.

"I am just exasperating myself with my own foolish thoughts. I suppose you're too old to have that sort of problem."

Her tone was light and teasing. Kallindo snorted softly.

"You said that there were only a few things that one ever grew out of," Kallindo replied tightly, "Thinking foolishly is not one of them, I assure you."

Calina looked at Kallindo with a critical eye, taken in his suddenly stiffened movements. "How old are you?" she asked cautiously

"Much older than you," was Kallindo's ambiguous response.

"Old enough to have many memories, both pleasing and disheartening, I imagine," Calina whispered mostly to herself.

Kallindo did not make any effort to correct her. The small company soon came into the courtyard of the Regent's manor. Kallindo lifted Falas out of the cart and then helped Calina set the bags of sand in her workshop. He then bid her farewell and turned to meet Soronhín where he had just emerged from his audience chamber.

Calina leaned against the doorway of the kiln room, watching Kallindo's back as he greeted her father. Soon both elves turned toward the gardens. As the maiden caught sight of Kallindo's face a tiny prick of discontent pierced her heart. His face seemed more open, and he was speaking in an animated fashion with her father – his friend. She wondered for a moment if he would ever be so easy with her. Before this new revelation she had been prepared to congratulate herself on the progress she had made – she had captured several dances, engaged in insightful conversation, he had noted her absence of the past few days, and there was cordiality on all accounts between them. But she was now faced with the fact that her position was hardly improved at all. She did not know a fraction of what there was to know about this elf.

With a resolute set to her chin Calina turned away from the light and entered her worshop. It was time to go back to the drawing board.

* * *

Kallindo sat draped along a bough of his favorite tree with his eyes trained on the stars above. He often chose to sleep away from his talan. Sleeping under the stars was certainly preferable to sleeping under a dark roof, especially when he was the only one under that roof.

His thoughts had been heavy of late, churning up old hopes and wounds to go with them ever since Calina had confronted him at the betrothal celebration.

'It should have been easier by now. It was supposed to be washed away in the light of Valinor.' This was the irritating thought that kept floating amidst the muddle of his mind.

In part it _had_ been washed away, but only in part. Having never bound himself to Oloriel, his spirit was not tied to her. He still felt that his love had been true, yet he had given it up to save her from sorrow and it was no longer the beacon of his life as it had been for several years, even after sailing West.

But he was now caught in an uncertain place. He could go neither forward nor backward. He was far past his majority and in his heart he longed to have the completion of a life mate, but he found that he no longer had the will to woo. He had never had any great skill in that area to begin with. Until his growing love for Oloriel had spurred him on he had been largely unversed in any manner of courtship. But no maiden in Valinoir had been able to reawaken that spirit. It was as though his heart was still bitter toward him, not willing to go out of its way any longer. He found much comfort in the friendships he had forged, but there seemed little hope that he would ever be married.

Of course, there was also another problem. He was quite old. In Middle Earth many elves waited to be married, but in Valinor, where peace and prosperity had reigned, elves married at quite a young age. Few were the unmarried she-elves in Eccaianórië that had reached even their fifth century. It seemed absurd to imagine that a fresh, young maiden would ever wish to be bound to a reserved, slightly bitter, war-hardened, unambitious, older elf like himself. Or, indeed, that he would ever be drawn to someone so light and carefree. Even in Oloriel he had chosen a more sober, bruised flower, who he had hoped to revive. Perhaps he had been merely trying to play the white knight to the damsel in distress. Now he found, to his bewilderment, that in Valinor no white knights were needed.

The whispering of feet on sand caught Kallindo's attention and he shifted his position, looking down the length of the beach on the edge of which his tree stood. For a moment his breath stilled as he witnessed the glowing figure of a moon-drenched she-elf pass along the cool sand. The mysterious figure was clothed all in white, with silvery hair cascading down to her thighs and dancing around her as she moved. For that breadth of time he thought he saw a lovely vision. But then the moon passed behind a cloud, and the ethereal light dimmed around the maiden enough to reveal the now familiar features of Calina Soronhíniell.

A slow breath escapped Kallindo as he tried to calm the beating of his heart. He felt oddly childish from being so entranced by the light of the moon. Without being conscious of it, he drew himself further into the shadows of the tree, hoping he could watch Calina unnoticed. A half-smile graced her face and it intrigued him. Here was one who seemed to rest in great peace of mind.

The things she had said to him since their first meeting began to drift softly through his mind. From the very beginning she had seemed to sense his sorrow. That was not surprising, he knew that it was plainly written on his face at times. But never had an acquaintance made so bold in speaking of it. And few had ever tried to goad him out of his emotional torpor. What had she said – waiting is very tiresome? It was true. It was the waiting that could not be alleviated in the West. No matter what shore he resided on he would still be waiting for something, someone, some omen to hail the end of the drought. Perhaps this candid maid was just such an omen.

This thought startled Kallindo a great deal. Could it be that the Valar were using this young she-elf, barely more than a girl, to teach him some important truth? Would he miss it if he disregarded her? How would his life change if, instead of hiding in the shadows as she walked by, he stepped out and confronted her – demanding to know the impulse behind her veiled statements and insightful remarks.

Kallindo wavered. It seemed like folly to imagine such deep significance in such a little thing. She was just another maiden: not the most beautiful nor the most learned nor the most engaging nor the most wise.

'She is the first female glass artisan I have met,' he mused with some humor, 'That is something. Perhaps she looks at the world through a different lense; perhaps she sees things that I have never known before.'

As if in a dream Kallindo stood silently and walked away from the bowl of the tree, leaping from his perch to land deftly in front of Calina as she was about to pass underneath. To his astonishment she did not seem in the least be startled.

"I thought you would be here," she murmured, before walking past him and settling herself down at the base of the tree. "I found sleep to be unappealing tonight."

"Have you come to bestow more cryptic wisdom upon me?" Kallindo asked quietly.

Calina smiled, leaning her head back against the tree. "I have little wisdom to give, merely a mind full of words and a mouth to ready to speak them. I have told you what I see, and I think that I have struck near the mark, but perhaps not. I admit that I was informed of your disapointment in love by my sister, but to my mind that does not account for your air of discontented anticipation. If your heart were truly broken your eyes would be dull, not restless. But your eyes are yet alive, though they wander where you will not follow."

Kallindo stared at the maiden in wonder. "What audacity of thought compelled you to probe so unabashedly into my personal matters? You behave as though you have known me since I was a child and earned the right to speak so boldy."

Calina was slightly taken aback by Kallindo's discouraging behavior but she answered strongly: "I feel as if you need someone to unearth you a bit. I do not like to see you sad."

It would be hard to express the sensation that coursed through Kallindo at that simple admission. Slowly he sat down in front of Calina and dug his fingers into the cool, reassuring sand.

"You do not like to see my sad?" he inquired skeptically.

"Yes," Calina nodded, "It seems such a... not a pity... an injustice, perhaps?"

She gazed out over Kallindo's shoulder toward the ocean as if in thought. Giving a pretty little shrug, she sighed, "I simply do not like to see you sad, that is all – I do not know why. And mayhap I am a bit brusque and audacious in my manner, but I try as best I can."

Kallindo nodded slowly, his eyes searching her face carefully. "Well," he finally spoke, a small smile tugging impatiently at the corners of his mouth. "I suppose that earns you something, doesn't it?"

Calina looked up to meet his eyes quickly and a bright smile soon blossomed on her face. "Shall we be friends then?"

Kallindo hesitated. What was this new path laid before him? He felt the thickness in the air between them even as he spoke: "As you will."

* * *

  
Things to Know:

Q-Quenya

S-Sindarin

Calina (KAH-lin-ah): Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo (kahl-LIN-do): Q. "noble heart"

Falas (FAHL-ahss): S. "beach, shore"

Soronhín (sor-ON-heen): Q. "eagle child"

Ránendë (ra-NEN-deh): Q. "moon pool"

Eccaianórië (ehk-kay-a-NOR-ee-eh): Q. "outer sea region"

Endórë: Q. "Middle Earth"


	4. Rising

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

I lied to some of you and said this would be up yesterday..... sorry.... (insert sad face here)

* * *

Chapter 4.) Rising  
  
"""""_  
__i__ charge laughing __Into the hair-thin tints __of__ yellow dawn_

- e. e. cummings

May 31, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor

Recap: 24 days after last chapter. Calina and Kallindo have begun to build a friendship.

Kallindo rolled over on his side, pulling the covers more snugly about him as he did so. What was that racket? His mind mulled over the dull pounding that periodically echoed through his small home for several minutes before finally reaching a very plausible conclusion.

"Calina," he muttered groggily.

Pushing back the sheets Kallindo glanced toward the wide, eastward facing window. It was still dark. What did the infernal maiden want now?

Throwing his legs over the edge of the bed, Kallindo stood and exited his bedchamber, walking through the small open room to the latticed entryway. He could already see the slender form and silver hair of the maiden in question through the loose weave of the door.

Dramatically swinging the door open, Kallindo fixed Calina with what he hoped was his most intimidating glare and spoke in a deadened monotone: "What in the name of all that is holy are you doing on my doorstep at this hour of the morning."

Calina's eyes widened in amusement just moments before a merry laugh escaped her lips. "You silly oaf... you promised to come watch the sunrise with me. Did you forget?"

Kallindo's face scrunched up slightly in befuddled consternation. "Did I?"

Still chuckling, Calina stepped into the small flet and sat down on one of the cushioned benches. "Yes, you did. It's not my fault that you stayed up all night watching the stars or listening to the sea or some other such thing."

Kallindo mumbled something incoherent and then closed the door, wiping a hand across his face to clear the sleep from his eyes. He looked quite bedraggled, or at least, in so far as it is possible for an elf to look bedraggled. His hair was tussled from sleep and his eyes looked as though at any moment they would permanently unfocused. Calina felt a twinge of sympathy for him.

"You do not have to come with me, my lord" she spoke softly, standing up, "Go back to bed."

"No," Kallindo shook his head, favoring the young she-elf with a crooked smile. "I remember now. And a promise is a promise, after all."

He opened the door once more and bowed his head to Calina. "After you, my lady."

Calina smiled affectionately at her new friend. "Aren't you forgetting something, yet again?"

Kallindo shrugged. "A great many things I am sure. But I am not inclined to give consequence to any of them this morning."

"You may regret that decision when the wind up on the bluff begins to break itself on your bare chest."

Looking down Kallindo realized that he was still without a tunic, having slept so that night. He tilted his head to the side before nodding thoughtfully. Then, without a word, he turned back toward his bedchamber and slowly went to find a shirt.

* * *

"You should have brought a cloak," Kallindo chided Calina, "The wind is bitter this morning. I wonder if rain will come." 

"Nay, it is no great discomfort," Calina replied, stepping closer toward the edge of the high bluff with the wind whipping at her skirts and hair. "I enjoy the wind very much. It is such a mysterious force."

Kallindo joined his younger companion next to the cliff edge. They had reached the summit just in time, for a soft golden glow had already stretched along the horizon. Below them the sea looked dark and almost menacing. But soon it would be illuminated by the morning sunshine and set merrily with a thousand dazzling jewels.

Both elves waited in contented silence, their faces still in anticipation. The sun had begun to crest over the waves, resplendently clothed in billowing, gilded clouds, before Kallindo broke the silence.

"You _are_ cold. You shivered."

Calina shook her head. "I was elated by the gift of this new day, that is all."

Kallindo smiled slightly. "Always so stubborn," he whispered as he slid his own cloak off of his shoulders and placed it around her own. Never would it be said that he neglected a lady in distress, even of such a mild nature.

A very small smile tugged at the corners of Calina's mouth. Several moments past before she looked up at him out of the corner of her eye and whispered into the morning air: "Thank you."

And then, quite suddenly, she was gone. Kallindo looked behind him curiously and saw the trail of his cloak disappearing around a rocky outcropping that hid the path leading down from the bluff. With an amused air about him, he began to jog after her.

Kallindo did not see Calina again until he had reached the beach some ways below the white cliffs and beheld her standing just at the waters edge, the rippling waves barely sliding across her toes before slipping gracefully back into the water. His cloak was held tightly about her but her face was uplifted with eyes closed as she let the wind dance around her, the pale gleams of the sun just beginning to warm her cheeks. The sight could not but cheer Kallindo's heart. Here was a true and merry child of the stars if ever he had seen one. She took such great joy in everything.

"Does it meet with your approval?" he questioned amiably. "The sunrise," he clarified when she gave him a puzzled look.

"Oh, very much. But do you know, my lord, I sometimes wonder if we meet with Arien's approval. Does she wait in anticipation too see what the new circuit of the sky will bring her, is she watching us now?"

"I wouldn't imagine that she is very interested in the two of us," Kallindo replied carelessly.

"Why do you say such things?" Calina chided lightly, a merry glint in her eyes. "I have it on good authority that I am quite an amusing creature."

Kallindo chuckled, remembering the incident of three nights before. "Yes, but that is mostly when your tongue starts to wag."

Calina impishly poked her companion in the ribs. "Impudence."

Stepping away from Calina's second attempt at a poke, Kallindo straightened out to his full height with exaggerated sobriety and lifted an imperious eyebrow. "I'll take my cloak back if you continue behaving in such an unseemly manner, little Soronhíniell."

Kallindo would have maintained his obnoxiously stern demeanor if Calina had not looked up at him with such a look of startled amazement. Relaxing into his normal pose Kallindo eyed the maiden quizzically.

"What?" he finally asked, confused at her continued silence.

Calina blinked. "You… you just did something… _silly_."

"I suppose I did" Kallindo conceded, a small smile curving his lips.

The she-elf's face brightened as if the sun had risen for a second time. "In our entire acquaintance – which has been, admittedly, quite short – I do not believe you have ever been intentionally humorous. You are always laughing at my silliness, but never silly yourself. This is a decided improvement that I had not even begun to look for yet!"

"What – are you trying to fix me, Lady Calina?" The elf spoke with wry amusement.

"Yes," Calina replied bluntly. "I thought that was understood when we struck up our friendship. Time will catch up with you quickly enough so there is no need to go casting off your youth voluntarily. I have known elves twice as old as you who were twice as young at heart and much lighter of care."

"Perhaps it was simply their nature, and perhaps it is not mine" Kallindo countered, no longer upset with her nosiness as he might once have been, but nevertheless hopeful that he could deter her somewhat.

Calina shook her head, eyes bright with hidden laughter. "Always so stubborn," she quipped, mimicking his words spoken earlier up on the bluff. "But do not worry, my lord, at heart I have no intention of trying to fix you, for no one can fix anyone else. That was a bad turn of phrase and I should not have agreed to it. But, I do reserve the right to torment you with as much lighthearted nonsense as I see fit to devise. And, as a fair concession, you may exercise as much stern, steady, and sage influence on me as you can manage (though this morning has proved that you are not nearly as stoic as you would like to appear). Shall we make a pact on it?"

Kallindo chuckled. "You will do what you wish, pact or no. I have no illusions on that count."

Calina bowed her head to him, a mischievous smile on her face. "Now you begin to understand me, my good elf. You begin to understand."

* * *

"Good morning, _amil_, _atar (mother, father)_." Calina leant down to kiss her mother on the cheek before moving to her place at the breakfast table. "As you can see, I have brought in a morning catch to break fast with us." 

Kallindo nodded to the Regent and his wife before taking a seat beside the eagerly beckoning Falas. Ránendë had eaten earlier and was not with them now at the small breakfast table.

"How did you come to be snared by my daughter so early in the morning?" Soronhín teased. "That was rather careless of you."

"She caught me unawares, _serm__o (friend)_," Kallindo replied with dry humor. "There was naught I could do to escape. She came to my home whilst it was still dark and led me away, captive."

Both Soronhín and Danneniûl shot quick glances at their youngest daughter. Danneniûl spoke first.

"Kallindo, you must forgive our young one, she is impetuous."

Calina, who had been carelessly buttering a slice of bread, stilled at the comment and felt her cheeks flushing with frustration. She was no mere child, to be spoken of thus, as if she were not in the room. And she was certainly not an errant daughter who needed to be excused or censored. Her lips formed a tense line as she finished with the butter and placed her piece of fresh-baked nut bread back on her plate, un-tasted.

"I am sure she did nothing worthy of reproof, my lady wife," Soronhín began to defend his daughter good-naturedly. Calina perked up and reached for her buttered bread. Her father continued: "And it eases my heart to know that she does not too quickly grow up or into seriousness. Besides, Kallindo has a very steady disposition, do you not, my friend? I am sure you can manage our young spirit. Tell me, did she beg you to watch the sunrise with her?"

Calina placed the bread back onto her plate, stiffly chewing the first bite she had taken. She knew her father did not mean to be unkind, but his words had done more to belittle her than her mother's had.

'I am not grown up? I cannot be serious? Kallindo is steady enough to _manage_ me?' she thought, incredulously. 'And dose father think that I plead with everyone to watch the sunrise as if I was some boisterous child of ten? I only share my morning vigil with those who I care about; otherwise, I would simply keep it all to myself.'

Kallindo watched with a discerning eye as Calina's piece of bread made its second retreat. He easily detected the slight flush on her cheeks and the self-conscious, downward tilt of her chin. It did not sit well with him.

"You may both put your minds at rest," he began to hazard a reply. "Of a truth… I was responsible for your daughter's appearance on my doorstep, Danneniûl. She _did_ ask me to watch the sunrise with her and I had promised to meet her on the sands, but did not wake in time. I am only glad that she was steady enough to not grow impatient with me: Arien had already begun to show herself by the time we reached the bluffs. Still, it was a noble sight and Calina's admirable enthusiasm – and lively conversation – did nothing but increase my own pleasure."

Having finished his hasty oration, Kallindo cast a glance around the table, hoping that he had successfully set Calina at ease and appeased his good friends, her parents. Falas, of course, was blissfully unaware of the goings on and was busy eating a piece of spring melon and swinging his legs back and forth under the table. Danneniûl and Soronhín both smiled amiably at his clarification and went back to sipping their tea. Kallindo's glance fell on Calina last. Her toast was still lying uneaten on her plate. He looked up toward her eyes and caught her looking at him. She had a small smile on her face and her features had eased back into a tranquil expression.

"Thank you," she mouthed silently.

Kallindo returned her smile, bowing his head slightly. Calina's smile broadened slightly before she broke eye contact with him, picking up her piece of nut bread once more and nibbling at it peacefully. Kallindo then turned to the needs of his own stomach.

As Kallindo poured himself a cup of tea from the large silver ewer on the table, Calina cast one more glance at him. She felt on odd mixture of relief, growing affection, and lingering irritation swirling around inside of her. But there was also a small spark of merry pleasure to accent the medley of emotions. He had finally called her by her given name. Doubtless he did not even realize it, but he had done it all the same. This was certainly a decided improvement.

* * *

"When do you expect to return?" Soronhín inquired as he ordered a few papers on his desk before turning to sit with Kallindo beside a seaward-facing window. 

"I imagine I shall be gone for two weeks. I cannot see why I would be detained any longer."

"Falas will miss you dearly," the Regent commented, "But, as children will, I am sure he shall find other amusements for himself in short order. I admit that I do find it amazing how long he has been captivated by your stories from Endórë _(Middle Earth)_. I always imagined he would grow weary of it before now. It is a wonder to me."

Kallindo chuckled softly. "Is it, though? I should think it quite natural when his father never tires of pestering me for an evening tale before the fire."

Soronhín smiled. "I will not deny it. I have read most of the books I owned more times then they will support. I must increase my library soon. Perhaps I could send you with a commission since you will pass through the city."

Kallindo nodded his head in approval of the plan. He and Soronhín settled back into their chairs and for a few moments silence reigned.

"I feel as though my children are growing up far too quickly," Soronhín confided airily. "I can hardly force Ránendë to stand still for more than half-an-hour she is so aflutter with her approaching marriage. And Falas – I will have to find a regular tutor for him soon. I'm afraid he won't like that one bit."

Kallindo smiled, imagining the energetic child forced to sit at a desk for any significant amount of time, wiggling and squirming and gazing out the window all the while. Is that what Calina was like at that age? The thought was an amusing one.

"Now my youngest daughter, she seems to defy logic," Soronhín continued. "I keep telling myself that she is an adult. That she has, indeed, been away from home for several years at a time. But every time I see her she still seems so young."

Kallindo sighed. "That will be the experience of the rest of our lives, my friend. I feel it is very good that we are blessed with such lasting memories or else we would forget what it was like to be young. Calina is young. But she is not a child."

"Apparently not," Soronhín conceded, with a merry twinkle in his eyes. "As a child she would never have barged into a new acquaintance's house before the break of dawn to drag them out to see the sunrise. She was actually quite reserved as a child."

Kallindo smirked. "That I cannot imagine. But again, you must not assume that Calina is in any way a nuisance to me. I enjoy her company – it grows on me more and more."

"Well, I am glad of that. It would make me quite nervous if she started mixing with the young lads of the town too quickly. If she's taken a fancy to your company and you don't mind her, by all means, watch as many sunrises and sunsets as you like. Perhaps you can keep the suitors away for me. It will be several years before I recover from this first wedding."

Kallindo quirked an eyebrow, his lips tweaking up into a smile. "Are you implying that I am no longer eligible?"

Soronhín laughed. "Nay friend, merely reticent. If you ever put your mind to the task I am sure you could find a lovely dame from the city who is looking for a simple life. You would certainly be a rare commodity there: an unmarried Silvan elf from over the sea. Quite exotic, I'm sure."

The shadowy inference was not lost on Kallindo: 'No, you're not eligible. At least for a young maiden.' This did not trouble him too greatly, however, for he had already felt this to be true.

"Exotic?" Kallindo's voice was thick with incredulity. "A relatively lowly-born, unfashionable elf who has no desire for more than a quiet life by the sea with only occasional interruptions for the purpose of earning his keep as a seasonal laborer in the southern fields? Nay, exotic is one thing I am most certainly not."

"I have found that it is dangerous to assume anything about the opinions of the gentler sex," Soronhín mused. "My wife continues to surprise me even today. I have stopped trying to make predictions."

* * *

Ránendë poked her head into her sister's kiln room cautiously. A heavy blanket of heat enclosed her as she stepped fully into the lamp and fire lit room. Calina stood at a table in the middle of the room preparing a mixture of sand and some white powder of which Ránendë was ignorant. Periodically Calina would reach behind her and tug a chain which operated the billows of the kiln. She was so engrossed in her work that she did not notice Ránend's presence for well nigh on two minutes. 

"Oh, are you there? I am sorry for ignoring you – you should have said something."

Ránendë stepped further into the room, coming to stand by Calina. "I did not know if what you were attempting was a delicate process. I did not want to startle you. You seemed so very intent."

Calina smiled. "I have often been told that I should smile more as I work. I always forget to when I am concentrating. Why have you come for me?"

"No particular reason. Mother has been busy all day and I did not feel like walking all the way to the town for company when you were close by."

Smiling impishly, Calina set aside her leather apron and pulled her sister back outside into the evening sunlight. "So, you are forced to mingle with the little people now that your betrothed is away?"

"He will be home tomorrow," Ránendë smiled dreamily, completely ignoring Calina's light gibe.

Calina shook her head slowly. "Will I be so smitten as you are one day?"

Ránendë bowed her head self-consciously, but where eyes still glimmered as she whispered, "One can only hope."

The soft words settled into Calina's heart and her steps slowed to a halt. "I suppose it is a wondrous thing. I am not sure that I can quite imagine it."

"And I shall not attempt to explain it." Ránendë continued on for a few steps before turning back to her sister. "You shall find it one day, and then it will be sweeter for its mystery."

The two sisters continued walking and talking, eventually wending down the hill and along the white beach toward the town. Ránendë had expressed a vague wish to visit with her prospective mother-in-law and confirm the exact time of her lover's return. However, this plan was immediately given up when, quite unexpectedly, Ehtúro himself appeared over a small rise which the maidens have been walking toward. With a soft little gasp, the elder sister picked up her skirts and ran into his arms, laughing brightly as he swung her up into the air. Calina watched with affectionate amusement as the two reunited after a separation of nine days. Then, with a sly look in her eyes she ducked into the forest before either could acknowledge her presence.

As she walked along beneath the dusky boughs, Calina was presented with two options. To her right she could hear the sounds of some small, merry gathering. To her left she could see a pale light gleaming in one of Kallindo's windows. She paused. Perhaps Kallindo would prefer her to not repeat the morning's performance. After all, the poor elf could seek out her company if he wished it. He seemed to enjoy her presence, yet wasn't it possible that he was merely too polite to shun the daughter of his good friend? What if she had grown tiresome over the past few days and he had simply been putting up with her? This thought distressed Calina quite a bit and she began to walk down the right-hand path when the thought of Kallindo's smile over the breakfast table slipped into her mind. It had almost seemed as though he were trying to stand up for her, trying to assure her that all was well. Perhaps the need had not been very great, but the gesture had been sweet indeed. And his smile had been sweeter - almost conspiratorial and affectionate. She liked his smile. Certainly it would be more pleasant to spend an evening trying to solicit more of them from him than in passing careless stories around a forest bonfire.

Without letting her mind dwell longer upon the matter, Calina turned abruptly and began retracing her steps. She had only taken a few hasty, preoccupied strides when she caught her foot on a tree root and stumbled straight into a pair of warm arms.

"Oh! I beg your pardon!" Calina exclaimed, her words muffled due to the fact that her face was pressed against the tunic of some unknown elf. Her left hand had instinctively grasped onto his sleeve, while his arms were caught around her waist. She was about to remove herself from his person when the rumble of soft, male laughter began to envelop her.

Kallindo straightened and pulled Calina up in his arms, making sure that her feet gained the path once more. His arms were still around her when Calina tilted her head back and met his gaze with wide eyes. Both elves froze for a fraction of time and merely gazed at one another.

'He has lovely eyes,' was the only truly coherent thought which Calina could form, much to her embarrassment. And Kallindo was not fairing much better. The young maiden fit quite cozily against him and, though his mind rebelled against this thought, his arms seemed more than content to continue in their current position.

Both of them were rather relieved when the odd moment ended, startled from their daze by a chorus of laughter that erupted from the gathering down the path. Calina was the last to break eye contact; Kallindo was the last to let go.

"Were you coming to see me?" Kallindo questioned in a strained voice, trying to break the silence between them.

Calina shifted her eyes to the side. "Yes... I was. I..." She never found the words to finish her explanation and so she merely looked back up at her friend and gave him a crooked smile.

"There is a gathering this evening. I was headed that way" Kallindo motioned down the path, regaining his poise enough to sound casual. At Calina's slightly puzzled expression the elf smirked wryly. "I do actually step outside of my flet on occasion, my lady. I am not a hermit."

"I know, I know," Calina blushed lightly. "I have learned that much these past weeks. I am sorry. Um..." she paused, a tentative expression creasing he eyebrows. "May I join you?"

Kallindo gazed at the maiden, still trying to sort out what had just happened. He was still considering his options when his tongue made the decision for him: "It would be a pleasure."

As soon as he said it, Kallindo realized that it truly would be. With a slight bow he held his arm out to her, casting aside his tumultuous thoughts and gracing her with an amiable smile.

Calina took his proffered arm with an inward sigh of relief, grateful for his open, easing manner. His calm smile soothed her spirit a great deal and she was able to gain control of her own anxiety with each step they took.

"Thank you," she whispered as they continued down the path. "Again."

* * *

1. Arien: "sun maiden" – a Maia charged with guiding the sun through its course across the sky. 

Things to Know:

Q-Quenya  
S-Sindarin  
  
Calina (KAH-lin-ah): Q. "illuminated"  
Kallindo (kahl-LIN-do): Q. "noble heart"  
Falas (FAHL-ahss): S. "beach, shore"  
Soronhín (sor-ON-heen): Q. "eagle child"  
Danneniûl (dahn-NEN-ee-ool): S. "fallen embers"

Ránendë (ra-NEN-deh): Q. "moon pool"

Ehtúro (eh-TOOR-oh): "spear victor"

Endórë: Q. "Middle Earth" 

amil/amme: "mother/mommy"

atar/atto: "father/daddy"

Ilúvien


	5. Sun and Moon

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

""signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

**A/N:** First of all…. I am so sorry for the delay. Life got absolutely crazy when I was about half way through writing this chapter and it's just now settled down. Second… If anyone was wondering: I will absolutely, positively, without a doubt finish this story. I have not given up on it or anything like that. There just was no time to do this chapter right since it was already giving me difficulties from the beginning and not cooperating with me. Third… I'd love to hear people's suggestions about where things could go from here. I have a couple intriguing ideas, but I'm doing this mostly to give you all a good ride, so I'd love to hear your input.

* * *

Chapter 5.) Sun and Moon 

_"Put off that mask of burning gold"_

W.B. Yeats

June 12, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor

Recap: Thirteen days after last chapter. Kallindo and Calina have struck up a comfortable friendship. Kallindo has been abroad for two weeks and is on the way home, via the city.

""""" 

"Kallindo! Welcome again. Come in, come in, before the rain washes us all away!"

Kallindo ducked thankfully out of the wet gloaming into the warm light of Alassar's house, resisting the urge to shake out his sopping hood. With care Alassar drew the drenched cloak from his guest's shoulders and delicately transported it to the kitchen, where the stone paving by the fire would be none the worse for a wetting. Kallindo followed and soon the two Elves were situated around a rough-hewn kitchen table, enjoying morning-fresh bread with butter and mulled cider.

"I expected you yesterday eve,"Alassar commented over his mug, "Are the roads grown so very bad or has something else detained you?"

"The former, I'm afraid," Kallindo replied. "I was forced to wait an extra night and even today the journey was not at all pleasant before I reached the city streets, which are thankfully a good deal better."

"Alas, this makes my news even fouler, I'm afraid."

Kallindo eyed his old friend curiously.

"If you had come yesterday we would have been able to enjoy a quiet evening between us, but it cannot be so tonight" Alassar informed him with an apologetic smile. "A great masquerade has been in the planning for weeks now, at which I am called upon to play."

"Won't the rain confound such a gathering?" Kallindo inquired, casting a baffled glance out of a small casement window toward the sodden landscape.

"Nay, that will not deter us city folk, my friend. As you have said yourself, the streets here are well made, and none live so far from the great hall that they could not make it in reasonable time. We _will_/ have our merriment, foul weather or no. I would of course give it up for your sake, were I not duty bound to fulfill my obligation. Will you come?"

Kallindo swirled the mulled cider around in his mouth for a moment before swallowing slowly. He set his mug back on the table with a resolute hand. "I shall come. It will do me good after dreary hours of travelling to be merry. I may not stay until the end, but we shall see."

"Fine, fine." Alassar stood up and slapped Kallindo's back amicably. "I doubt you came prepared for such an eventuality, however. Let us see what I can rummage up for you in my store of festal raiment."

Kallindo smiled broadly. "You will not array me in a minstrel's habit, I hope. Someone who has imbibed too much wine will no doubt accost me with a lute before the evening is out and force an ill-played tune from me."

Alassar chuckled. "Nay, do not fear. I have a few very servicable tunics and capes that can be worn without fear or shame. I think I may also have an old mask from another engagement of this sort. Will you mind being the moon?"

"I am a begger at your mercy," Kallindo stood from his chair and spread his arms open. "Dress me as you will."

* * *

Kallindo smiled beneath his mask as he stepped into the vast, candle-lit hall. Recently arrived guests, who still stood near the doorway, turned and examined Alassar and him, trying to determine their identities. Alassar was easy enough to guess at, since he carried his lute, wrapped in oilskin, beneath his arm. But Kallindo presented a puzzle for them and several brows creased together in thought. 

'This may prove to be entertaining,' Kallindo mused.

Before that night, Kallindo had only ever joined in a handful of such masked balls, and then only among people who knew him well, where secrecy was virtually impossible. Here among the city-folk, however, he was an almost unsolvable mystery. The only significant amount of time he had ever spent there was when visiting his friend, Alassar, and even then he had not mixed much in any social gatherings larger than a handful of people. The thought of spending an evening in complete anonomity was, therefore, as new as it was intriguing. There was something almost comforting in the idea that there would be absolutely no expectations or preconceptions of him. He was merely another merry-maker, nothing more, nothing less. For one night he would not have to think about what people knew of his past, or did not know; what they knew of his present, or predicted of his future. For one night he could choose to be a blank slate, waiting for the stroke of fresh words.

Kallindo roused himself from his odd musings when a maiden robed in ocean-blue approached him and asked him prettily for a dance. The first chords of music had struck and the presiding Lord had declared that the ladies could have their choice of partner for the first set. For a fraction of a moment Kallindo stared at the delicate hand extended toward him. When was the last time he had freely danced? - Other than on the beach with Calina, of course… An involuntary smile tweaked his lips. Why not? With a slight bow Kallindo took the maiden's hand in his own and led her out onto the floor.

To Kallindo's great wonder, the evening past swiftly and without burden. He danced, feasted, and sang to his heart's content until, with pleasant weariness, he draped himself across a small couch in one of the adjoining sitting rooms and let the joyful hum of the gathering wash over him. It really had been quite a successful evening, very pleasant. However, it was growing late and Kallindo felt the strain of his journey begin to pull at him. He thought that perhaps it would be best to leave before the experience turned sour.

Setting his empty wineglass aside, Kallindo rose slowly from the couch and surveyed the small room into which he had retreated. A curtained doorway led out into the main gathering. The curtain was pulled to the side at present, allowing him a view of the brightly-lit room beyond, where couples adorned in rich costumes and elegant masks whirled across the polished floor. Outside the weather had cleared and there was no longer the steady thrum of rain on the vaulted roof, leaving the delicate strain of the harps and flutes to dance unhindered throughout the hall.

Stepping closer to the doorway, Kallindo straightened his shoulders. It had been a delightful gathering, made more so by the ability to set aside his own face for the evening. But now it was coming to an end. Within the hour he would be himself again, and within the next forty-eight he would be n his home by the sea. Life would settle back into itself.

Kallindo moved with resigned steps toward the curtained doorway but came to a halt when the light flooding in from the next room was supplanted by a soft, warm glow. Just within the curtain, as though she had materialized from the music-ladened air, was the sun herself: a maiden swathed in a silvery gown, beaded and ambroidered heavily with gold, and masked with a blazing sun. For a few moments she stood gazing at him serenely. Kallindo waited patiently and curiously as the bright eyes of his unexpected visitor perused his face.

"One would think we had dressed to match," the lady said pertly.

Kallindo glanced casually down at the muted blues and silvers of his tunic and imagined the sight he made, with a mask of the cresent moon tide over his eyes and bending down across his right cheek.

"A fitting pair, surely," he murmured, "And even more fitting now, for I depart the room even as you enter. After all, the sun and the moon cannot share the sky together."

Kallindo moved to pass around the maiden when she laughed merrily and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You are going to leave me again, are you?"

"Again?" Kallindo inquired curiously.

"Yes, my lord, again. You have a habit for trying to leave your friends before the festivities have come to an end. I only just found you, though I suspected all evening that you were here somewhere. Will you now desert me?"

At Kallindo's persitent confusion, the maiden continued: "Oh, I see . . . you do not know me. But I am not allowed to tell you who I am. That is against the rules, I'm afraid."

Kallindo observed the lady carefully. Supple, ivory arms peeked out from the folds of her sleeves and the graceful line of her neck swept up to a regal head adorned with silver hair and gold ribbons. She bore herself nobly, with an easy confidence, meeting his searching gaze with her own, expressive eyes. Without knowing her, Kallindo would mark her for a rather enchanting young maiden

"Forgive me, perhaps the wine has affected me more than I suspected to cause me to forget such a lady." Kallindo took her hand a placed a courteous kiss upon it.

The mysterious sun laughed. "So you _can_ be charming after all. What a story I shall have to tell."

Kallindo smiled sardonically, knowing that his evening of anonimity was over. "That may also be due to the wine, milady. If we are as well acquainted as you seem to imply then you would also know that I rarely indulge in such."

"Well spoken, my friend," the lady replied, undetered by his less than warm response to her teasing. "I can only hope that you shall come to know me, as you should already, before you leave. Here, let us have a dance. You would not be so callous as to refuse a lady, and that shall give me quite an acceptable excuse to keep you here beside me until your powers of perception return."

With little alternative but to accept her proposal Kallindo abandoned his plans of retiring early and held his hand out to the maiden, leading her onto the dancing floor. The mask that the maiden wore covered all except her mouth, and he watched her lips curve up into a mischievous smile as they took up their position among the dancers. The minstrels struck up the music of a strong, intricately patterned dance, and so Kallindo and the maiden began weaving their way through the steps in silence. However, at the first opportunity his companion began to converse with him once more, though the following account of it was, at the time, broken up by the many comings together and goings apart of the dance.

"I may not tell you who I am, my lord, but perhaps a few hints could help you guess aright."

Kallindo inclined his head. "I am at your command."

"Always so accomodating," the lady smiled, "Very well. Your first clue is that you once saw my hair slate gray with water."

"I'm sure you can come up with something more clever than that," Kallindo whispered good-humoredly. "I have seen many ladies with their hair wet. I saw many today out on the roads."

"You should remember this incident, however. But never mind… let me see. Oh yes – you once lent me your cloak."

"A gallant gesture on my part, I am sure," Kallindo quipped. "I can still think of a few silver-haired possibilies though. Did you know the first maiden I ever had a fancy for had silver hair like yours? I was only nineteen at the time, but I distinctly remember lending her my cloak on a cold day."

The sun chuckled. "I didn't know that. What an adorable little suitor you must have made. I wonder that you did not not steal her heart away then and there."

Kallindo smirked. "It may have had something to do with the fact that she was twenty years older than me."

Laughing unabashedly, the maiden twirled away in the dance before returning a few moments later. "Here is my last clue. And if you cannot guess it afterward, then I am at a loss."

"If I guess aright will it mean the end of my captivity?"

The sun rolled her eyes at his dry speech, but ignored it. As the steps of the dance brought the pair close in each other's arms she tilted her head up to whisper in his ear: "This mask is made of glass, and I am its creator."

Kallindo's eyes widened perceptibly as his dancer partner was once more separated from him. A deep chuckle began working its way up from his stomach. When the maiden returned to his arms he was smiling broadly.

"Calina, you deceiver."

"How did I deceive, my lord? That is most ungenerous."

"Who gave you leave to look so elegant and refined?" he chided. "I doubt I would have guessed your identity before the night was over without your hints. But what are you doing here?"

The dance came to an end and the two friends stood together on the floor, careless of the churning mass of couples around them.

"I have come into town with _amil_ mother, Ránendë, and Ehtúro's _amil_. There are yet a few purchases to be made for the wedding. Of course, I did not have to come, but father thought of a few more selections to look for at the bookseller's shop. I was enchanted by _atar's_ father's new scheme of expanding the library and am come to see what I can find and to look for the other titles that _atar_ gave me. Have you gone to look yet?"

Kallindo shook his head with a smile, beginning to lead Calina off of the dancing floor. Everyone in the chamber seemed to be moving toward the walls as though making way for some new diversion. "Nay, I have only arrived this evening. I meant to look for your father's books tomorrow. Shall we go together?"

Calina grinned. "My thoughts exactly."

"Halt!"

A strong voice called out across the now silent room and Kallindo paused in his steps, noticing for the first time that all eyes in the room were trained upon Calina and him. A small ripple of laughter washed across the room and the pair turned toward the commanding voice. While they had been conversing a favorite local bard had taken his place on a small dais at one end of the dancing floor and was now watching the couple with a cheeky twinkle in his eyes. Kallindo tilted his head in confusion.

"Shall we have a tale of the sun and the moon?" the bard called out to those watching. Everyone in the hall gave a hearty cheer for this idea and the bard hopped up from his seat and came down to Kallindo and Calina, sweeping them back to the center of the floor with a merry laugh.

"Those whose feet tarry are most likely to be caught," the bard gibed, to the amusement of the entire hall.

As the storyteller reached the center of the room he let go of Kallindo and swept Calina around, taking a knee and sitting her down prettily on his raised one. He wrapped his arms carelessly around her waist and smiled roguishly. "Shall you help me tell my tale, lady?"

A murmur of encouragment went up from those standing by. Calina smiled merrily and, in her own saucy way, replied, "Sir… I will."

After the cheering died away, the bard assumed a very self-satisfied look and turned once more to Calina, raising her hand to his lips and placing a soft kiss upon it. "And will your lord join the merriment?" he questioned, casting a speculative glance at Kallindo, who stood with a bemused expression on his face.

Calina laughed. Then, raising her eyebrow imperiously at the elf who currently held her captive, she replied, "He will, sir… if you would be so kind as to remove your hand from my hip."

The bard chuckled, gave her waist an impudent squeeze, and then swung her up and around and into the arms of Kallindo. Standing himself, he took a small turn around the room as he began to unfold his tale.

_Before the dawning of the sun and the moon the Two Trees of Valinor, golden Laurelin and silvery Telperion brought light to Valinor. And in the light of those two trees, Tilion, a hunter of Oromë, would visit with the firstborn of Ilúvatar and join humbly in their merry making._

Kallindo bowed gallantly to the audience, attempting to join in the tale with good humor. A few children in one corner of the room calpped and laughed merrily. Kallindo threw one of the little girls a wink and she ducked her head, trying to hide her pleased smile.

_Likewise, Arien, the sun maiden, servant of Vána, Oromë's wife, walked among the Eldar, dancing merrily in the streets of Tirion and watering the flowers there with the dew of Laurelin._

Calina turned merrily, her skirts billowing out as she spun around and dipped into a low curtsy.

_Arien was bright and golden and gay, and all loved her. Especially the humble Tilion._

Kallindo extended his hand to Calina, and gave her a wistful look.

_But of all those who loved her, Arien gave her heart to none but Tilion._

Calina smiled gently and took the profered hand, coming closer and placing a chaste kiss on Kallindo's cheek.

_The two Maiar loved blissfully, and their affection was a joy to see. But in spite of their happiness, Tirion never understood how Arien could love him. Her voice was stronger, her energy was boundless, and everywhere they went her beauty dazzled and graced the eyes of all those who beheld her. Beside her, his light seemed dim. Arien, however, never doubted their love and found all her contentment in the arms of Tilion._

Kallindo knelt much as the bard had, and Calina settled comfortably into his arms. The two shared an amused, conspiratorial look with one another.

_However, their peace was shattered when the darkness came. In evil malice Melkor and Ungoliant slew the Two Trees and all of Valinor was thrown into darkness._

Calina rose melodramatically from Kallindo's knee and, with a look or horror, fell back onto the floor.

_Courageously, Tilion offered to carry what light was left to the Valar up into the heavens._

The bard took Kallindo's arm and led him away from Calina over to where a silvery lamp hung from a delicate post.

_He was questioned again and again if he would do this thing, for all knew of his love for Arien, but he was determined to help his people. He wept because of her but thought that in his absence she would find a better match for her brightness. And so, in a vessel crafted by the Valar, he bore aloft into the sky the last fruit of Telperion._

The bard, as he had spoken, took down the lamp and handed it to Kallindo, sending him toward the dais nearby.

_The moon rose for the first time and brought with it much joy and comfort. But no joy or comfort was found in the heart of Arien._

Calina sighed and looked longingly toward Kallindo.

_She burst into the council of the Valar and demanded to be sent aloft with her lover. Her purpose was so steadfast that they granted her wish, forming a vessel to carry the last flower of Laurelin into the heavens. When all was in readiness, Arien took on the form of a pure flame and guided the ship of the sun up into the sky, stearing her course toward the moon._

Calina was given a naked candle and began to walk slowly toward Kallindo.

_At that first rising, Arien and Tilion yearned toward one another in the sky, but Arien's flame was so bright that it scorched Tilion and he was forced to retreat._

Kallindo and Calino had almost met when a curious look came over Kallindo's face. A moment of silence reigned before he covered the light of his lamp with his hand and turned slowly away.

_In their wisdom, the Valar set courses for the sun and moon so that Tilion would have time to heal away from the searing pain of Arien's light. And thus the moon waxes and wanes._

The bard drew a reluctant Calina away from Kallindo, taking the candle from her hand and twirling her once beneath his outstretched arm. Calina, despite all this, cast a quick glance back at Kallindo.

_Ah, but even now, at the rising and setting of the sun, in the brilliant rays of the morning and evening, Tilion can for a brief moment meet with his beloved. And thus it shall be at the renewing of Arda that Tilion and Arien will embrace forever in one strong and gentle light_.""

Kallindo turned around once more and gazed at Calina, walking slowly toward her and handing the lamp carelessly back to the bard. The tale being done, the storyteller took the lamp and the candle with a quick smile and called for music.

"A dance, a dance!" he called as he departed the floor, leaving Calina and Kallindo – the sun and the moon – to take up the rhythm of a slow, ancient dance.

Applause broke out among the gathering and soon couples began to join Calina and Kallindo on the floor. Kallindo looked down at the maiden in his arms. She did not meet his eye, but gazed contemplatively at his collar. A deep quiet settled over the two of them. For well-nigh half the dance they did not speak: they merely held one another and swayed as if in a dream to the notes which wove around them.

Finally Calina looked up at him and questioned softly, "You are not the moon, I think."

Kallindo cleared his throat. "I do not understand you, lady."

"You are not the moon," she repeated. "You are not alone in your half of the sky. Isn't that why you looked at me that way? But it doesn't matter, don't you see, because you are not the moon. You can plot a different course."

A bemused air settled around Kallindo as he shook his head slowly. "Are you trying to fix me again, little Soronhíniell?"

An amused sound caught in Calina's throat. "I didn't bring it up, friend Kallindo. You are the one who gave me that look."

Kallindo smirked. "I gave you no look!"

Calina curtsied to him as the dance came to an end. "My lord, you most certainly _did_ give me a look."

Kallindo shook his head. "Always so stubborn."

A clear bell rung through the hall then and as its swell died away hands reached up to pull away long-worn masks.

Not hesitating, Kallindo reached up and lifted his mask easily away, pinning Calina with an inquisitive gaze. "The face you expected to see?"

"The face I wanted to see."

Calina looked a little startled as the words spilled out of her mouth and she shifted her gaze back to his collar.

"Are not you going to lift your own mask, lady?" Kallindo asked gently.

"No, my lord," Calina softly replied. "The strings are precarious enough as it is, and I am afraid if I attempt to loose it without a mirror to aid me that I will lose hold of the mask in the process and shatter it upon the floor. Not a pleasent prospect. And so I shall depart from this ball unmasked."

Without dwelling on the impulse, Kallindo reached up and found the ties in Calina's hair. With the fingers of one hand under the bottom edge of her mask, he slipped the knots apart and withdrew the golden studded glass.

"You see," he smiled warmly, "You are not alone in your half of the sky either."

* * *

1. The story of the sun and the moon is so not mine… check out "The Legend of the Sun and Moon" by Deborah Judge 

Things To Know:

Calina: "illuminated"

Kallindo: "noble heart"

Alassar: "joy stone"

Ránendë: "moon pool"

Soronhíniell: "daughter of Soronhín"

amil/amme: "mother/mommy"

atar/atto: "father/daddy"


	6. Quiet Moments

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

""signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

"text' signals thoughts

**A/N**: On reading back through this story I've noticed quite a few grammatical errors. I'll try to do better proof-reading from now on.

* * *

Chapter 6.) Quiet Moments _Oh! Who would inhabit this bleak world alone?_  
-Thomas Moore 

June 13, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor  
Recap: Day after last chapter. Kallindo and Calina have unexpectedly met up with each other in the city as Kallindo is passing through on his return to Fanlítsë.

* * *

"Rain." 

The breathy whisper hung in the air as Calina drew her hood back and tilted her head upward toward the glowing clouds. Her lips parted slightly as if to drink in the soft mist that was descending around her. Tiny pearls of dew caught in her hair and eyelashes whilst her bare feet stepped daringly through the wet grass in the small garden before her temporary city residence. Kallindo, who was coming up the walk to retrieve her for their morning excursion, paused to watch as she bent over a water-beaded rose to savor its heady scent.

"A fair morning, good sir," the maiden hailed Kallindo as she straightened, flashing him a bright smile.

"And to you as well," Kallindo replied amiably. "Are you certain you do not want to equip yourself with a pair of shoes? I will wait."

"Nay, I have no need of them. It is warm enough."

"Very well then. Lady?" Kallindo held his arm out to her and she took it quite willingly.

"From my own experience I know that there are two very fine bookseller's shops but they are, alas, in opposite directions from one another." Kallindo drew to a halt as they stepped out onto the street. "Shall we go right or shall we go left?"

Calina pursed her lips in mock concentration and then slowly declared, "We shall go… left."

"A good choice." Kallindo nodded in approval. "There is also a quaint bakery in that direction and now we shall have a good excuse to drop in."

"Have you not breakfasted, my lord?"

Kallindo smiled mischievously. "That matters not at all, little Soronhíniell. Their fare would be tempting even on a full stomach. But no, I have not yet breakfasted."

"Then I shall be delighted to try this fare," Calina assented. "I know now that I was wise to take only some tea and a few strawberries this morning before I came out."

The conversation continued in an airy strain while the pair wended their way through the gracefully curving streets of the elven city. Not many minutes had passed, however, when Kallindo halted their journey and turned Calina aside into a cozy, fragrant shop. Inside, rustic wood and bouquets of wildflowers showcased a myriad of savory scented pastries, pies, and breads. Calina drew away from Kallindo's arm and enthusiastically perused the displays, obviously in a quandary as to what she should choose.

"May I suggest the strawberry and crème tart?" Kallindo murmured over her right shoulder. "Since you are fond of strawberries I am sure you would enjoy that."

The shop owner came over while Calina and Kallindo were discussing the various advantages of strawberry tarts with crème and pear tarts with cranberries and honey.

"Why not allow your lady the delights of both," the baker interjected enthusiastically. "This morning I have made strawberry and pear tartlets." He directed Calina and Kallindo's attention toward a tiered tray of minute pastries.

Kallindo smiled up at the baker and thanked him for his suggestion. He then proceeded to buy two dozen of the bite-size pastries. Six of strawberry, six of pear, six of mince (which Calina professed a liking for), and six of rosemary pheasant (which were one of his personal favorites).

The bakery hosted a few small tables to sit at and Calina chose the one in the corner away from the door. For a few moments after being seated the two launched into another merry discussion of how they should divide their spoil. In the end, Calina took all of the mince, Kallindo took all of the pheasent, and they split the fruit tarts evenly between them. Calina declared that the strawberry tarts were the best of the fruit. Kallindo argued for the pear. This led to another negotion in which a stawberry and a pear switched hands.

All in all the detour was a very enjoyable success, and Calina made sure to thank their host for his delicious creations as she and Kallindo departed the bakery, their stomachs pleasantly satisfied.

"Now, about this list…" Calina pulled a piece of parchment from a hidden pocket in her cloak. "I have only additions. You have the original list which _atar_ sent with you, yes?"

Kallindo inclined his head. "Some were exact titles and some were subjects. There were perhaps two dozen."

"I see." Calina look over her own list. "And I have thirteen more. We certainly have a task cut out for ourselves."

"Have no fear, we shall see it done."

"Yes, but by what time? I believe _amil_ was hoping to make the return journey this evening. We shall have to be very industrious if we are to make that departure."

* * *

"Kallindo! I think I have found it. Oooh… but I cannot reach it." Calina huffed impatiently as she dropped back from her straining, tiptoe position. 

The book in question slumped sideways on a shelf that was tantalizingly close yet out of reach to the she-elf. The gold embossed title of the precariously perched tome was faded and the last word was unreadable, but Calina was convinced that it was the desired text and was impatient to prove herself correct. This was the last book yet to be found and would mean the end of their lengthy searching.

Kallindo appeared from around a bookshelf and came up behind Calina. She pointed at the book wordlessly and, with a twitch of the lips, Kallindo reached up to easily pluck it from the shelf. Calina gave the elf a sour look.

"At your service." Kallindo bowed slightly and handed the book over, a slight smirk on his face.

"Thank you," Calina murmured sulkily.

Most she-elves were comparable in height to any elf, but the females on Calina's mother's side of the family tended toward a more diminutive stature. And unfortunately for her, she had not inherited her father's rare height.

Opening the cover of the agéd book, Calina's down-turned mouth curved up into a smile of satisfaction. "I believe we are through here."

Just as she spoke, a shaft of evening sunlight tilted into the musty back room of the bookseller's shop. Both Calina and Kallindo glanced up to gauge the time and then looked askance at one another.

"We may not be too late," Calina encouraged. "Come, let us purchase our treasures and be off."

Having bought the books, Calina and Kallindo departed their third bookshop, each with an oilskin parcel in hand.

"I do hope that the books we had sent home from the other shops have actually arrived," Calian worried. "Our haste will be all for naught if they have not been delivered this afternoon."

"I informed the proprietors of our imminent departure," Kallindo assured her. "They shall be there and, if we move efficiently, I'll wager that we shall be in Fanlítsë shortly after sunset."

Calina's face suddenly lit up, as though a delightful scheme had just entered her head. "Oh what a delightful thought. How fast can your Silvan legs carry you?"

Kallindo lifted a questioning eyebrow, but Calina did not wait to expound her plan. "Come on!" she cried merrily, lifting up her skirts with one hand and dashing off down the lane. "If we hurry, we may just be able to arrive on time."

With a bemused shake of the head, Kallindo jogged after her, knowing that it would be of little profit to try and guess what Calina had stirring in her mind.

The pair made it back in very good time. Calina, along with her mother, sister, and her sister's prospective mother-in-law, Vaniméra , were staying in a friend's home. When Calina and Kallindo hurried in through the latticed entryway they found Calina's family already gathering luggage together in the front sitting room.

"Oh, you are back!" Danneniûl cried. "I am so glad. We shall certainly have enough time to return home this evening. Do come in Kallindo: never mind the cluttered floor. Here, let me take both of your cloaks so that they may warm by the fire for a few minutes while the wain is brought round. Shall you come with us, Kallindo?"

For a few moments Danneniûl fluttered happily around the room, scooting boxes out of the way, throwing the cloaks over a delicate wooden bench in front of the fire, and relieving the new arrivals of their parcels. In the midst of these operations she almost had a collision with Vaniméra, who was attempting to move a delicate crystal ornament belonging to their kind hosts to a safer location than the chaotic room in which it currently resided. A catastrophe was narrowly averted as Ránendë daringly leaned out over a precarious pile of trunks and caught the object as it flew from her future mother-in-law's hands.

"Yes, I shall if you would have me," Kallindo replied, trying to contain his mirth at the feminine pandemonium. "I had already planned on returning this evening."

"And do you need time to gather your things?" Danneniûl inquired.

"Nay, they are already packed. I did not travel with much." Kallindo looked around at the confusion of the room and then continued. "But now that I think on it, it would behoove me to bid a proper farewell to my host. I shall go now and meet you at the southern gate in a half-hour's time."

Danneniûl smiled and nodded, turning to help her daughter fasten a bulging trunk. Kallindo ducked quickly out of the bustling room and made for the cool air of evening. He was stopped only a few steps from the doorway, however, by Calina's merry voice.

"Kallindo, do you travel on horseback or on foot?"

"On foot, my lady."

Calina furrowed her eyebrows. "I would offer you a seat in the wain, but I believe my dear relations have bought enough materials for a dozen weddings. You are welcome to ride with me if you like."

Kallindo thanked her kindly but declined. "You will not travel quickly with a weighed-down wagon as it is. I shall be fine on my feet."

"Very well, then. Farewell for the present!" Calina smiled brightly and ducked back into the house just as a crash was heard from the front sitting room.

Chuckling at the joyful mayhem which was Soronhín's lady-folk, Kallindo made his way down quiet streets to say farewell to his friend and host, Alassar.

* * *

"Here is your cloak." Calina extended a bundle of fabric out to Kallindo as she approached where he stood, at the right side of the southern gateway from the city. 

"Ah, thank you. I was hoping someone would remember it."

"You'll have to thank my dear sister for that," Calina replied, as said sister approached them on her own mount. "I believe your cloak would still be toasting by the fire if I had been left to my own resources."

"Then I thank you, Ránendë," Kallindo called over to the golden-haired maiden, raising his cloak in explanation. She nodded her acceptance.

"Well, I suppose we should be off. There goes _amil_ and Vaniméra through the gate now. I do hope our wain won't collapse under its load."

Kallindo glanced toward where the wagon was moving out onto the open road, piled high with every sort of box, sack, and trunk. It did indeed look precarious.

"I believe it shall hold," Kallindo replied with a light smile. "After you, my lady."

Calina obligingly urged her mare through the gate, riding abreast with her sister. When they were through, however, she called back to Kallindo. "Come now, you must walk with us so that we may talk. This will be a drearily slow journey so we must amuse ourselves as we can."

Kallindo easily kept pace with the two horses, which were forced into a walking pace behind the wagon. For well over half their journey the three conversed quite comfortably and thus wiled away the time. It was not until they reach the ford of the river, just before sunset, that their conversation was brought to a halt.

"The rain has had its effect I'm afraid," Danneniûl called back to the younger elves behind, gesturing at the swollen river as she did so The pebbly bottom of the ford was completely invisibly beneath a layer of water. "Kallindo, do you think the wain is high enough to cross safely?"

Kallindo walked forward while Calina and Ránendë stayed behind with the wagon. Taking a fallen branch from a nearby tree, he went to the edge of the water and plumbed its depth.

"It is only, perhaps, three spans""," Kallindo concluded, discarding the branch. "The wain will easily cross it."

Thus concluded, Danneniûl and Vaniméra took up position on either side of the wagon horse's head and led him slowly across the ford. The body of the wain sat high enough so that only a few inches of it sat in the water. And it was solidly built, with sealing along the joinings of the wooden planks to prevent water from seeping in.

After seeing the wagon safely across, Kallindo made to wade across himself.

"Don't you dare," Calina commanded firmly. "Kallindo, there is simply no need for you to drench your boots and leggings. Get up behind me."

Kallindo raised an eyebrow at her stern expression, but didn't respond. Moving over to her mount he jumped up lightly behind her.

"As you wish."

Calina's face melted into a smile. "Thank you. Shall we move on?"

Ránendë cast an amused glance at her sister before urging her horse into the water. Calina followed slowly, letting her mare choose her own way across the hidden ground. When they reached the other side Calina spoke before Kallindo had the chance to dismount.

"Are you willing to take a little detour, my friend?" she inquired over her shoulder.

"A detour to what?" Kallindo returned with a question.

"Oh, you know… something wonderful. Come on, you would not want to miss it." And then, without allowing him to answer, Calina turned her horse from the path and urged it into a canter. She called out to her mother as they sped away: "We shall meet up with you again beyond those hills."

Danneniûl simply shook her head in resignation and then let an affectionate smile touch her lips. Vaniméra, who rode on her right, leaned over and whispered conspiratorially: "Will you soon have another wedding on your hands?"

Looking over to her friend with a startled expression, Danneniûl furrowed her brows slightly. "Nay, there is not danger of that. Why should you think so?"

Ránendë, who had come up on her mother's left side, responded for Vaniméra. "Perhaps it is because, since her return, Kallindo has spent as much time with Calina as he has with _atar_."

Danneniûl waved the possibility away. "You know Kallindo: he will not look at a maiden in that way. And I think Calina simply delights in pestering him." Turning to Vaniméra she continued. "She has always been wont to behave in such a way. Never has she kept a wide circle of close friends, though she is generally well liked by all. She will seek out one or two people to scheme with. I have heard her speak kindly of one of the maidens from the village. For all I know in a few months it will be her, and not Kallindo, that she dotes on."

After this declaration, the she-elves' conversation moved on to different subjects and the absent pair was almost forgotten. Meanwhile, Calina had brought her horse to the bottom of one of the western hills, upon the side of which a dirt pathway climbed.

"I discovered this path when I returned from studying with Oiratinwë," Calina explained as they began to ascend the hill. "My escort and I had lunch under those trees yonder, and I explored while I ate my bit of cheese and bread."

"Am I to hear of the marvellous sight which I shall see presntly, or is it a surprise?" Kallindo questioned amiably, not put out in the least by his abduction.

Calina chuckled. "Of course it is a surprise, you silly elf. It is better that way."

The pair rode on in silence for a little while until the path became steeper.

"You had better hold on, Calina warned, as her mare eagerly scaled the quickly rising terrain.

"I beg your pardon," Kallindo murmured, "but you are the only thing to hold on to." With that said he slipped his arms around her waist and leaned forward into her back.

"Never fear," Calina replied in good humor. "I am not offended."

It was not many moments before Calina's mare had bravely surmounted the crest of the hill and brought her mistress to the tree-tufted crown. It was not readily apparent to Kallindo what was so spectacular about the place, but he decided to be patient.

Calina dismounted first, slipping from Kallindo's grasp and turning back to her friend. "Come down and I will show you the way."

Kallindo dismounted and followed the maiden as she walked over to the western side of the hilltop. Through the spindled arms of the trees, Kallindo made out that the sea lay just beyond their hill and probably crashed upon its very roots.

"There."

Calina pointed downward and Kallindo noticed for the first time a hole in the ground. But it was not simply a hole bored into the soil. A few inches of earth lay on top, but soon gave way to a thick layer of smooth, tan stone. Beyond that layer, the walls of the hole gave away to what, from all appearances, was probably a small cave of sorts. Without another word, Calina dropped down into the hole, calling back up to Kallindo that he should follow her.

Trusting her judgement, Kallindo did as she asked, finding himself, as he had conjectured, in a small cave that opened on the western side to look out, unimpeded, across the sea.

"We are just in time," Calina whispered gleefully.

And then Kallindo understood. The sun was just beginning to dip down along the horizon. And not only was the view breathtaking, but it was enhanced as the golden lights of evening caught upon the walls of the cave and were reflected by thin layers of quartz embedded there.

"It is, indeed, wonderful, little Soronhíniell."

Calina moved over toward the lip of the cave and sat down, patting the rock beside her in invitation. After Kallindo settled himself beside her she leaned over and whispered: "Do you call me little because I am young, or because of my stature?"

Kallindo smiled deviously. "Which would displease you most?"

A rather unladylike snort came out of Calina and she leaned back on her hands, declining to answer. Several peaceful moments passed before Kallindo broke the quiet once more.

"How long have you been home?" Kallindo inquired. He was curious as to how this little maiden had so quickly secured his affectionate regard.

Calina turned to study Kallindo's profile. "I returned on the second day of Lótessë. It is now the thirteenth day of Nárië. That would make for… fourty-three days, would it not? Why do you ask?"

Kallindo was silent for a moment as he observed the way in which Calina's own silver hair glistened with as much luster as the luminous quartz around them. He smiled slightly and turned back toward the sea. "It is good to have you here."

Calina's face softened and she placed a hand on Kallindo's shoulder. "I am glad to be here… And I think–"

Her words were silenced as Kallindo placed a finger across her lips.

"Listen," he whispered.

For some reason that she could not place, Calina's heart sped up from the innocent contact of Kallindo's touch upon her lips. He held her gaze unflinchingly, and she saw a peaceful light in his eyes as he attempted to share this moment with her. Calming her breath as best she could, Calina listened as Kallindo had instructed her. It was only a moment before she heard the cries of gull chicks above the sound of the waves below. She smiled.

As Kallindo felt Calina's lips move beneath his finger, he drew his hand away. Both elves sat for several minutes in silence, Calina's hand still resting on Kallindo's shoulder. When they finally did stir, it was as if they spoke silently and rose in one accord. They could not tarry if they were to meet Calina's family upon the road. Without a word, the maiden back out onto the top of the hill mounted her mare. Kallindo followed and was soon seated behind her, his arm held unconsciously around her waist.

* * *

1. A span 9 in./22.86 cm. 

Things to Know:

Q-Quenya

S-Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Soronhín: Q. "eagle child"

Danneniûl: S. "fallen embers"

Ránendë: Q. "moon pool" 

Vaniméra (vahn-im-EYR-ah): Q. "good wish (or desire)"

Alassar: Q. "joy stone"

Oiratinwë Calamau: Q. "eternal spark/light hands"

Fánlitsë: Q. "white sand"

Lótessë: Q. "May" 

Nárië: Q. "June"

atar: Q. "father"

amil: Q. "mother"


	7. Out to Sea

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

""signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

* * *

Chapter 7.) Out To Sea 

_THE SEA is never still._

_It pounds on the shore_

_Restless as a young heart_

- Carl Sanburg

July 6, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor

Recap: It's been about three weeks since the last chapter, when everyone returned to Fanlítsë

* * *

"No, no, it should be no trouble at all. I am actually quite excited for the opportunity; and flattered, as well, that you would trust me with such a delicate work. Thank you. Good day." 

Calina's voice preceded her as she departed the elegantly simple home and passed down through the front garden. Cora, a petite and cheerful _vendë_ with a long braid of flaxen hair, sat in a sunny patch of grass to the right of the path, cleaning vegetables in a bucket of water. She looked up from her work and smiled brightly at Calina, who approached and joined her on the ground.

"Has _amil_ enlisted your services?"

"Yes, and I am very humbled by her request. Though I am sure it is mostly because I am my father's daughter."

Cora tsked lightly. "Nonsense. Little Falas has been trumpeting your skill as a glassmaker all over Fanlítsë."

A doubtful sound came from Calina's throat and she raised a delicate eyebrow. "My brother, though ever dear to my heart, is known for gross exaggeration."

Cora chuckled but did not reply as she continued to clean freshly picked leaks in the bucket of water between her legs.

"I will do it justice, I think," Calina mused thoughtfully as she reached for an as yet untouched basket of garden-dusty radishes. "Yes. I know I will."

"I can sense the frenzy in your mind already. No doubt you have begun to plan your design down to the minutest details." Cora flicked a little water at her friend. "Do not run away from me yet. Stay and talk a while."

The pondering look departed Calina's eye and she smiled slyly, swishing a fat radish in the bucket of water. "Very well, friend."

Several minutes passed as the two she-elves chatted merrily beneath the warm sunshine. The two had first met the day after Calina's return home, at the village gathering on the beach. They had not spoken a great deal then, but enough so that when they met by accident several days later in a small cove where each had planned to take a swim it was a merry meeting. They had been seeing more of each other ever since, except for the short time that Calina had spent in the city with her mother, sister, and Vaniméra. Aside from Cora, however, Calina had not developed any great friendships with the other elves of the village, though she was pleased to be acquainted with them all.

Their comfortable chat was disrupted by the sound of footsteps coming near along the cobbled village street. Cora looked up expectantly and a broad smile graced her features as she recognized the figure of her father, newly returned from an extended fishing expedition out on the sea.

"_Atar_, welcome home!" she called out across the distance still between them, getting up and trying to smooth out her rumpled working skirt.

The tall flaxen-haired elf, Encoranar by name, returned the greeting and quickly advanced toward the low garden gate, stepping through it and sweeping his daughter up into his arms. Cora laughed gaily as Encoranar twirled her around once and set her back on the ground. She then withdrew from her father's embrace and chided him affectionately for getting his fishy smell all over her. In the commotion, Encoranar's companion, who passed through the gate but a few moments later, was largely neglected, though Calina caught his eye over Cora's fair head and smiled a greeting.

"I must go in and greet your mother now. I will leave you to your work, lovely one."

Encoranar kissed his daughter on the cheek and then turned back to his companion. "Come, Kallindo. I am sure my lady wife will have something to refresh us before we speak of business. Shall we?" Encoranar gestured up the path to his modest home.

Kallindo nodded amicably and began to follow his host up the path. However, before he entered the house he turned back as if in after-thought.

"Calina, I believe I overheard your _amil_ say something about having Terévlia over this afternoon to complete the final fittings for the wedding. If you are needed we can postpone until another day."

"Oh, I had forgotten," Calina furrowed her brow slightly and gazed off into the sky in thought. "But I believe I can extract myself from the feminine goings-on well enough before the evening meal."

Kallindo nodded. "Then I shall see you if I see you. But if you cannot make it I will not be offended." A crooked smile leapt to his lips and he inclined his head to both ladies before disappearing into the house."

"My, my, but perhaps the village gossip has some truth to it."

Calina turned back to her friend and eyed her oddly.

Cora shook her head in mock-exasperation at Calina's puzzled look. "Don't tell me you are unaware of the silly jabber that gets bandied about in the town. You are not that naïve."

An unladylike snort came from Calina. "You've no idea. Come now, pray tell: What whispered words have slipped past me?"

Cora smiled conspiratorially and put her hands on her hips, leaning over to whisper in Calina's ear. "My neighbor says that her daughter's husband heard from a close friend that one of the woodland lads saw Kallindo take a moonlit stroll with a certain silver-haired maiden, whom I shall not name. She also said that it was the favorite topic of conversation at the market two days ago."

Calina's eyes widened slightly. "You don't mean that they think–"

"That the 'cold-hearted _avar_' is starting to warm up to a certain Regent's daughter? Yes, of course they do. What did you expect? However, in my opinion, the truly critical piece of information for your ears is that the said Regent's daughter is also suspected of warming up to a certain cold-hearted–"

"Enough!" Calina interrupted her friend with an incredulous laugh. "It is too preposterous!"

"Is it now?" Cora eyed her friend with a teasing look.

"Oh stop it." Calina narrowed her eyes playfully. "I know very well you are just trying to rile me. Well it won't work. Kallindo and I are good friends, nothing more."

Cora shrugged but did not reply and soon the two maidens turned their attention back to washing the vegetables. Only a few moments past, however, before Cora spoke once more.

"Why are you to meet him?"

Calina cast a withering look at her friend.

"I am only curious," Cora defended herself. "I make no unfounded assumptions. I know you and he are friends."

"I'm sorry," Calina smiled benignly, "But you have me on edge at the moment, is all. I was to meet Kallindo on the beach this afternoon for some target practice."

"Target practice?"

For a brief moment an almost giddy light illuminated Calina's features and she dissolved into youthful enthusiasm: "Kallindo is teaching me the use of the bow!"

"Whatever for?"

Calina shrugged. "Why ever not? – Because it will be fun, you ninny. I have already had one lesson. I'll admit that it wasn't as exciting as I'd hoped for (it is harder than it looks), but I am eager to improve."

Cora set her basket of newly cleaned leaks aside and wiped her hands on her apron. "Well, my friend, if you are enjoying yourself that's all I need to know… Of course, if you _should_ ever warm up to a certain _avar_ – or anyone else for that matter – you are quite free to tell me, you know."

"Cora!"

"I'm not trying to be nosy. It's just, well, there's nothing quite as delicious as a secret between friends. If you ever need a feminine ear I'll be more than willing to provide one. Kallindo cannot help you in that arena, now can he?"

"Very well, I understand your meaning. But I must warn you: I haven't had any delightfully silly infatuations for many a year. No one seems to strike my fancy."

Cora shrugged. "Oh, you'll be swept out to sea one of these days. And when you least expect it, I'd imagine."

* * *

"It's not funny." 

Calina tried to look stern as she clipped the words out of her mouth, but the circumstances were really too ridiculous. Soon she had given up and joined Kallindo on the sand, chuckling as he regained his composure.

"You really shouldn't laugh at your pupils," Calina chided, shoving Kallindo's shoulder with her free hand. "I'm sure it stunts their progress."

"Forgive me, lady, but really, you brought it upon yourself!" Kallindo smirked merrily and shoved Calina gently back. "I told you the scarf would be troublesome. Oh my…" He breathed a deep, cleansing breath. "I don't think I have ever, in all my years, seen anyone perform such an intricate maneuver. Congratulations."

Calina favored Kallindo with an exceedingly dry look. "A little help please?"

"Ah. Right."

Kallindo scooted around to Calina's other side and began to untangle the mess. Somehow – which was still a mystery to both of them – when Calina had attempted to withdraw an arrow from her quiver with professional speed, she had gotten the shaft caught on her loosely woven scarf. When trying to undo the damage she had further entangled the arrow (as well as the curled metal of a favorite ring which she wore on her right hand) in her scarf and one of her braids. This was due largely in part to the fact that she was trying to move too quickly and prevent Kallindo from noticing the first blunder and again remarking on the impracticality of wearing the scarf in the first place.

"Ooow… oh, that is my hair, good friend."

"Indeed," Kallindo replied with a stolid expression. His features soon melted into a grin, however, as he continued to work. "Silly little Soronhíniell. Will you listen to your teacher now?"

Calina pursed her lips sourly. "No scarf. No ring. I understand."

"Exactly. Now – there," Kallindo freed the arrow with great alacrity. "Perhaps we can return to the business at hand?"

"My thoughts exactly." Calina took the offending arrow and stood, determined to sink the troublesome shaft six inches deep into the wooden target. It was a foolish hope.

Thus far Calina's shooting was rather lacking. This shot was no different. The arrow bounced ineffectively off of the lower edge of the target.

"Ooh! Kallindo, I am a terrible archer! I don't feel as if I know my own body any more," she ranted. "It won't behave. Am I not doing everything you have told me to do? What is wrong?"

"Hush," Kallindo murmured softly, taking the bow from Calina's slightly shaking fingers. "It is very good that you have even begun to send your arrows that distance. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I think we shall end for the day. – Now don't give me that look. Your fingers are shaking. They are not used to this strain. You must ease into all of this."

Calina flexed her hands a few times and winced. "They burn quite a bit."

Kallindo smiled calmly. "Ah, but I have come prepared. Follow me."

The maiden obliged and soon found herself sitting underneath the eaves of the forest next to Kallindo's pack.

Calina eyed the bag curiously. "What miracle do you contain within that pouch, O Wise One?"

"Give me your hand," Kallindo instructed, ignoring her questions.

Calina extended her right hand and smiled contentedly as Kallindo swiped a cool cream (retrieved from a bottle in his pack) along the pads of her fingers. It was very soothing. Kallindo massaged her fingers until the amber-colored cream had fully absorbed into her skin and then sat back on his heels.

"Better?"

"Much better," Calina declared, bringing her hand up near her nose. "And it smells nice to. Did you make this concoction yourself?"

"Aye. You are fortunate that I remembered all of the right ingredients."

"You are an elf of many wonders, my friend," Calina teased.

Kallindo looked away into the woods. "It is growing late. You should return for supper."

"Are you coming? There's no use for you to be eating alone in your _talan_. You're always welcome up at the house."

Kallindo paused in thought. "It is not many days before your sister's wedding. I would not want to intrude upon the family evening."

"Oh nonsense," Calina replied, getting up from the sand and dusting off her leggings. "Come along."

* * *

"You did not have to limit yourself to Falas' conversation throughout the entire meal." Calina stepped in front of Kallindo as he was making to depart her home. She eyed him flatly. 

Kallindo shrugged. "You are the one who dragged me up here. You'll have to take me as you find me I'm afraid." Calina was about to argue with him when he pre-empted her. "Besides, your brother can be quite insistent."

"I'll agree to that – though you shouldn't encourage him. Shall I walk with you?"

Kallindo agreed and soon the two elves were walking companionably down the winding road toward the beach. A sudden gust of wind tumbled over the hill and caught at their clothing. Calina laughed as her bothersome scarf, light and airy as it was, danced to and fro in the air.

"So much for my frippery, wouldn't you say?" She withdrew the useless article and began twisting it and untwisting it in her hands. "You should see the gown that is being made for me for the wedding. Mother has taken far too much delight, I think, in dressing up her family."

Kallindo didn't reply, but neither one minded the silence. It was a peaceful, drowsy evening, fit for slow walks and thoughtful songs. The pair walked closely side-by-side and took simple comfort in each other's presence and in the feeling of the warm summer air on their skin. They progressed in this manner down the road, across the beach, and into the forest. It was only when they were within sight of Kallindo's home that a disruption broke through their tranquility. A startled cry came from Calina and she abruptly set down in the middle of the forest path.

"Calina?"

The maiden hissed bitterly and pointed at her foot. "A thorn… I believe."

Kallindo quickly knelt in front of the she-elf and lifted up her right foot. There, protruding from the thin sole of her laced sandal, was a particularly nasty looking locust thorn. Kallindo looked up and eyed Calina speculatively. She grimaced and hung her head, biting her lip to keep the complaints, moans, and curses in.

"Can you get it out?" she practically pleaded.

"Yes."

Without further ado Kallindo scooped her up in his arms and strode purposefully toward his _talan_, entering it and setting her carefully down on a cushioned bench within. He quickly lit a candle and then rummaged around in another room for two clean cloths. Coming back to kneel in front of Calina, he set the light on the floor and gave her an apologetic look.

"This will hurt a bit."

Calina's gaze was very dry: "It already hurts. Please, get it out."

The thorn was still attached to a piece of twig, which gave Kallindo something to grasp. Before Calina had much chance to ponder on the expectation of pain he drew the thorn out with a swift tug. Calina gasped loudly and clenched the skirt fabric of her gown tightly in both fists. Removing the sandal and casting it aside, Kallindo pressed one of the cloths firmly against the bleeding wound. A few moments past before a sort of strangled laugh lodged in Calina's throat.

"I make quite a spectacle of myself, do I not?"

Kallindo looked up from his ministrations. Calina sat half-reclined on the bench, her skirt still clenched in one fist and her silver hair tousled about her in a careless manner. Her little mouth was set in a determined line and her eyes were fighting to be merry.

He smiled comfortingly. "Quite a lovely spectacle to my eyes."

Calina blinked. That was not the response she had expected. She watched curiously as Kallindo used the second cloth to bandage her foot. It was an awkward dressing, but it would have to do.

"We have to get you home. Put your arm around my neck."

Calina blinked again. "Perhaps I could walk… if you helped me."

"Nonsense. I'll have you home in a trice."

Without much of an alternative, Calina slipped her right arm around Kallindo's neck and was lifted gently up off the bench. Now that she was in a better mind to give consequence to frivolous details, she realized fully, and for the first time, what a fine specimen of an elf he was: strong, handsome, chivalrous, beautiful hair, nice eyes... Calina blinked yet again and then fixed her eyes steadfastly on her knees, hoping desperately that Kallindo hadn't noticed anything odd about her behavior. She didn't look at him again until he had brought her safely to her parent's home, and then only to bid a hasty goodnight before retreating to the soothing darkness of her room.

After returning Calina to her family, Kallindo walked slowly back down to the forest. He hoped his young friend would heal quickly. There was no telling how long an injury to the foot would last. It would, of course, depend largely on whether or not the maiden would be patient enough to stay off it for a few days. She would have to if she wanted to dance at her sister's wedding a week hence. Kallindo smiled at the thought.

While he was lost in his own musings, two pairs of youthful eyes were watching him from a nearby tree. They had seen him carry Calina home and now observed his contemplative mean. They each chuckled silently and gestured their conclusions to one another. This was certainly an interesting piece of information: one which they would no doubt find an eager, listening ear for in the town the next morning.

* * *

Several hours had passed and Calina still could not turn her mind toward sleep. One thought kept chasing another thought round and round inside her head until she felt it was a wonder she could think at all. She was confused, and at the same time confused about what could possibly have made her so confused. It was all ridiculous, frivolous, childish, nonsensical, poppycock… Calina abruptly sat up in her bed and stared out the window in shock. Suddenly, and without a moment's notice, a startling thought and pierced her mind. 

"Oh dear."

* * *

  
Things to Know:

QQuenya

SSindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Cora (KOR-ah): Q. "encircle"

Encoranar (en-KOR-ahn-ahr): Q. poetic, "the year to come"  lit., "that (future thing) year" Falas: S. "beach, shore" 

Vaniméra: Q. "good wish/desire"

Terévlia (ter-EYV-li-ah): Q. "fine thread"

Soronhíniell: "daughter of Soronhín"

Fánlitsë: Q. "white sand"

vende: Q. "she-elf/maiden"

amil/amme: Q. "mother/mom"

avar: a sindarin elf


	8. Juicy Gossip and Fruit Juice

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

* * *

Chapter 8.) Juicy Gossip and Fruit Juice

* * *

_LOVE has crept out of her sealéd heart_

_As a field-bee, black and amber_

_Breaks from the winter-cell, to clamber_

_Up the warm grass where the sunbeams start._

'''''D.H. Lawrence

* * *

July 8, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor 

Recap: Two days since last chapter. Calina's family has talked her into staying in bed and off her injured foot.

* * *

"How is the lovely invalid?" 

Cora swept into the cozy room and sat down with a flourish onto the foot of Calina's bed. With a bright smile she withdrew a bouquet of newly picked wildflowers from beneath her cloak and held them aloft for perusal, eager to please her injured friend. But, despite all her cheerful goodwill, Calina's face retained its dour expression.

"This is all your fault."

Cora's lips descended into a confused line and she rose gently from the bed, taking the flowers over to a vase which was nestled in one corner of the room. "You're in a pleasant mood this morning. What can you possibly mean? I wasn't even there when that thorn went into your foot."

Calina burrowed down further into the pillows and pouted in a most child-like manner. "I don't care about the bothersome thorn. Oh, this is a mess!"

Cora straightened up from where she had set the vase on a low table and turned around in bewilderment. Calina had pulled the blankets over her head. In alarm, Cora went to her friend and tried to pull the covers away. Calina resisted, fisting the quilted material against the pillows.

"What has gotten into you?" Cora chided. "Speak to me."

"I dare not. Who knows what muddle you will lead me into yet." Calina's tone was verging on the petulant.

Cora braced her hands against her hips and eyed the mound of blankets critically. "Calina Soronhíniell, I would take it kindly if you would stop speaking in riddles this instant and tell me what distresses you so. If not I shall go spend the morning with your sister, who is no doubt in a merrier frame of mind."

A few moments of silence passed before Calina peeked her nose out from beneath the covers and whispered, "Do you promise not to tell anyone?"

Cora's eyes narrowed and she leaned in closer toward the bed. "I won't say a word. What have you to tell?"

Calina finally unearthed herself from the blankets and scooted up against the wall, beckoning Cora to join her on the bed. When the two were situated comfortably and Calina had satisfied herself that there was no one in the hallway beyond her closed door, the mystery was revealed.

"I think... well, I suppose I know it, but," Cora bit her lip nervously, "I fancy someone."

Cora's face broke out into a wide grin and she giggled mercilessly. "You're in a flutter about that? You ninny! Oh, and that's why you blame me. You think I egged you on, do you?" Cora gasped in the midst of her giggles. "Oh! And I'll wager it is none other than the 'cold-hearted Avar.' This is _too_ rich."

Calina looked a little dumb-struck by her friend's reaction. "This isn't funny. It's terrible. It's… why, it's disastrous!"

At the sight of her friend's genuine distress Cora's laughter subsided and she instinctively wound a comforting arm around the other maiden's waist. "There, there, dear, it can't be as bad as all that. Is it Kallindo, then?"

An exhausted sigh escaped Calina's lips as her shoulders slumped forward. "I couldn't bear for him to know it. It would make him so sad because he can never love me back, and he's so good that he would wish that he could do it for my sake, which would make everything even more unbearable. We could never be friends again, not like we are now. Which is a silly fear, I suppose. I've only known him for two months. Just two months… Oh Cora, I don't know how this happened!" And with a soft wail, Calina buried her face against Cora's neck and wept.

Several minutes passed as Calina slowly regained control of her emotions. When her tears were all spent and the shivering had subsided Calina drew away from her friend and looked up sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

Cora chuckled indulgently. "Nonsense. No apologies are needed. Now come, tell me all about it."

A watery smile spread across Calina's face and she sighed lightly. "There's not much to tell, really. The funniest thoughts began chasing around in my head the day before yesterday and as I tried to untangle them it just struck me. From the very beginning I've been drawn to him in a curious way. And we seem to suite each other so well, and before last night I would have told anyone who asked that I loved him dearly, as a friend you know."

Cora nodded encouragingly.

"And then… well, it's rather embarrassing to tell, but… when he picked me up and swept me into his home and took care of me it was one of the most wonderful feelings. Like warm sunshine. I didn't even feel my foot any more, though it was bleeding terribly. I don't think my mind had the power to put itself right when I was snuggled up against him on the way home… my, but he is handsome, isn't he?"

As Calina trailed off wistfully, Cora repressed with a valiant effort the laughter that was threatening to bubble up inside her. Calina was thoroughly infatuated.

"But why does it grieve you so?" Cora prodded gently. "Are you so afraid that he'll reject you? How could he? Everyone can see that he holds you in high regard. And there's not a soul in the village who hasn't noticed how you seem to have healed his mysterious wounds. He smiles, he laughs – he's even danced!"

"You don't understand." Calina shook her head sorrowfully. "I am well aware of Kallindo's mysterious wounds. He… he gave his heart to a maiden in Endórë. But she turned him away."

A serious expression stole across Cora's face and she traced the embroidered design on Calina's sheets as she thought. "But," she finally spoke, though cautiously, "He did not fade."

Calina murmured an agreement.

"Well, that is something, is it not?" Cora encouraged.

"Aye, some, but not much. You know the way of our people. How many elves have you known of who loved more than once? It is almost unheard of. I _know_ I rail against such fatalistic ideas – I've even told Kallindo I don't believe it. But that was when it didn't affect _my_ life. Now it seems a much more solid truth. And I, being the fool I am, let myself become bewitched by an elf, ages older than myself, who isn't free to woo me and probably wouldn't want to even if he were!"

Calina's voice had steadily risen throughout this speech, and on the last word she flopped back onto the bed and pulled the covers over her once more, determined to hide there until she had chided her own heart into submission.

* * *

Kallindo wandered aimlessly among the cheerful crowd of market-goers. He had already acquired everything he had been in search for that day, but he was in no hurry to retreat to his forest home. He had the spark of an idea budding in his mind and he was waiting to see if it would take shape or pass away, as so many impulsive schemes do. 

He had reached the outskirts of the market place, near the shore, when his slow progress was arrested by the sound of an excited elfling. Looking to the right he saw Falas talking animatedly with the mistress of a melon cart. He smiled suddenly. The first of the watermelons, modestly sized but cheerful, were nestled onto one end of the cart. Falas gazed upon them with a longing eye.

Strolling up to the cart, Kallindo surprised Falas with a ruffle of his unruly hair.

"Aye! You always sneak up on me!" Falas yelped before playfully dodging away from his elder.

Kallindo chuckled softly, greeting the proprietress, with whom he was acquainted, before turning back to Falas. "And I will continue to do so as long as you pay more attention to your stomach than to your surroundings. Would you like a watermelon?"

Falas straightened his shoulders and tried to look nonchalant, though his hopeful eyes betrayed him. "I do like watermelon," he said simply, "But you should not buy it for me. _Ada_ would not like it."

Kallindo shared an amused glance with the cart-mistress before he laid a comforting hand on Falas' shoulder. "Your _ada_ does not like it when you pester people for favors, and well he should. But I offer freely. And in any case, I thought perhaps your sister would like something special to cheer her up as well. Do you think the first watermelon of the summer would serve the purpose?"

Falas bobbed his head eagerly. With such hearty affirmation, Kallindo took a few moments to inspect the fare. With Falas' help he had soon selected one of the larger melons and, pleased with his purchase, he reached into a small leather pouch to fish out a few coins for the sale. The she-elf received his coins, smiling benignly and patting Falas on the head.

"I hope that whatever ails your lady will soon be got over," she offered kindly, "I'm sure the Regent's daughter will appreciate your thoughtfulness."

Kallindo paused, perplexed, and turned an inquiring eye on the she-elf before him. "_My_ lady?"

The she-elf smiled in an almost congratulatory way for a moment but then suddenly realized the mistake, looking quickly at Falas before bunching her brows in mild consternation.

The quick glance was enough to start Kallindo on the road to discovery. Looking down at Falas he noticed that the elfling seemed to be intensely interested with his bare toes. Without subjecting the cart-mistress to any more awkwardness, Kallindo shifted the watermelon to the arm that already bore his sack of other goods and extended his free hand to Falas.

"Come along with me, I'll take you home and we can have our first feast of watermelon."

Falas took the hand sullenly and followed with shuffling steps as he was led out of the market, out of the town altogether, and along the southern path under the eaves of the forest. He continued to observe his toes until Kallindo suddenly came to a halt. Looking up, he watched as Kallindo let go his hand and moved over to a shady patch of moss, setting his load down before taking a seat himself. Kallindo beckoned for Falas to join him. A few moments of silence passed.

"What have you been telling people?" Kallindo asked softly.

Falas squirmed.

"I am not angry with you," Kallindo encouraged, "But I should like to know what other surprises I am likely to encounter."

"I only told the melon lady! And I just said… that you…" Falas' courage flagged once more and he dug his small fingers into the moss below him.

"Yes?"

"I told her that I saw you walking together last night… and that when you escorted Calina home you scooped her up and carried her all the way and made her laugh a lot."

This last part was spoken with incredible speed. Kallindo looked at the guilty culprit with a mixture of pity, amusement, and reproof.

"Falas, you know very well why I carried Calina. She was injured. Did you tell the kind lady that as well?"

Falas shook his head reluctantly.

"And I must say, Falas, I am very disappointed that you lied. You know very well that I did not make Calina laugh but once. And then it was barely a laugh. Why did you say that?"

Falas shrugged. To his mind, laughing was the best thing to do, so it had seemed like a good thing to add to his story.

"And I am also disappointed that you disobeyed your parents and were not in your room like you were supposed to be. The hour was late. Should I tell your father or would you like to do it?"

With a start, Falas' head flew up and he looked at Kallindo with agony in his eyes.

"Yes, I'm afraid so," Kallindo asked the silent question. "Your father is my good friend and he trusts me to help look after you."

"I'll tell him," Falas muttered softly.

"Now, I have one more question. Why did you even say such things?"

Falas sighed dramatically. "I've heard a lot of people say… that you and Calina should fall in love and, um, I thought that would be… nice… cause then you could be my brother. Hravan has an older brother and so I thought maybe I'd like to have one. Only I don't know Ehtúro very well, so he won't be a good older brother even though Ránendë is marrying him."

Falas looked dejectedly at the worn knees of his leggings as his little speech came to an end. He was waiting for the lecture to being. But to his surprise, instead of a stern lecture, Kallindo began to laugh heartily. When the merriment subsided Kallindo leaned over and put an affectionate arm around Falas' shoulders.

"After such a heartfelt and pitiful confession I have heardly the heart to scold you. But please, do not spread any more tales about your sister and myself. This is not the way to go about matchmaking, and I am certain that we do not need any help of that kind. I think that Ehtúro will be a very find older brother, once you grow to know him better."

Falas nodded seriously.

"Come," Kallindo got up and hoisted his load back into his arms, "You shall go and tell your father of your misdeeds, but I promise that whatever befalls you, you shall have the first piece of watermelon. And perhaps later today I can give you a lesson with the wooden swords."

Falas brightened considerably after that declaration and almost leapt up to join his mentor. The two walked away from the spot in a much lighter mood than they had arrived.

When the two arrived at the Regent's home they met Cora, just as she was departing.

"Oh, Kallindo, good morning," the maiden greeted him as they met at the head of the path that ran up from the shore.

For a brief moment Kallindo thought he heard traces of surprise and alarm in her voice, but the feeling soon dissipated as she exchanged a few quick pleasantries with him and then bent down to give Falas a message of childish importance from her younger brother, Hravan.

When Cora had bid her final farewell, Kallindo led the way inside. First, they found a safe place to set the watermelon in the large back kitchen. One of the few servants that Danneniûl employed in her household was there tidying up and she smiled over the lovely summertime surprise and agreed that Calina would like it quite well. With their treasure safely stored, Falas was then sent to his father's study to see if he was at home. To Falas' great delight, however, he was out on business and the dreadful confession could be put off, for a time at least. He came back to the kitchen in a merry mood, ready to dig into the large melon.

Unfortunately, as the fruit was being cut, hoof beats were heard in the courtyard. Falas' face fell. Kallindo felt pity well up in his heart and could not help giving him a few words of encouragement.

"Here, eat some before you go. While you are gone I shall take some up to Calina and that way, if your _adar_ will allow it, we can start with the wooden swords after he is done speaking with you."

Falas lifted his chin in a most manly and courageous way and nodded soberly, before gobbling down a few bites of melon and marching resolutely out of the kitchen. Kallindo watched him go with an indulgent smile. Then, putting several generous slices on a colorful glass plate (which he noticed, appeared to be on of the pieces of Calina's own making) he departed the kitchen as well and ascended the delicate, circling stairway that lead to the second floor of the home.

"Is she awake and ready for visitors?" Kallindo called merrily from outside Calina's door. He heard a bit of shuffling around inside before a timid reply was finally given.

"You may come in."

"I have brought you something I think you will like," Kallindo declared as he pushed the door open with his shoulder.

Calina's face was set in a decidedly neutral expression. He lowered the plate of watermelon down to her eye-level for inspection. This produced a soft smile.

"Thank you."

Kallindo smiled as he set the plate down on a small table and produced several cloth napkins which he had held under his left arm. "I think we shall need these."

The watermelon was eaten in unusual silence, but Kallindo did not sense that anything was amiss, so he assumed that Calina was simply in one of her more contemplative moods. It was not until they were nearing the end of their repast that Kallindo broke the silence between them.

With a grin, Kallindo reached up with the corner of one of the napkins and caught a trail of watermelon juice just as it was about to trickle off of Calina's chin. "Getting a little messy at the end, are we? A pity, for you were going only so prettily."

An uncharacteristic color dusted Calina's cheek as she ducked her head and brought her own napkin up to make sure that all traces of the sticky substance were gone. She let out a small, nervous laugh.

"Are you well?" Kallindo asked softly.

Looking up quickly, Calina gave a short nod. "Aye, I am fine."

But her face looked so pensive that Kallindo searched his mind for something to lighten her mood. He thought of Falas' own woe that day and decided that it would make for an admirable and amusing retelling. He omitted all mention of the gossip, feeling that perhaps this would disturb Calina, and focused instead on Falas' late-night excursion and the imminent interview with his father. The pitiful tale produced several smiles, especially as he recounted Falas' soldier-like exit from the kitchen, and so Kallindo deemed it a success.

"I promised I would let him work with the wooden swords afterward, so I'm sure he'll appear any moment, unless your father has other plans."

Calina smiled wistfully. "I wish I could get up and go play wooden swords with you all. My foot hardly hurts any more and I do believe it is almost healed."

"I daresay it is," Kallindo acknowledged, "You have been very good to stay off it as long as you have. However, you do not want to be overly hasty and open up the wound once more."

Calina sighed quite pitifully and sank back into her pillows. The picture brought a smile to Kallindo's face.

"But perhaps you could come outside and watch. _If_ you promise to sit on one of the garden benches and not go wandering off."

A hopeful look stole across Calina's face. "May I?"

Kallindo nodded decisively and then, tossing off her covers in one sweep, he boldy scooped her up into his arms and began walking from the room.

"What are you doing?" Calina yelped, feeling a most embarrassing flush rise up in her cheeks. 'Not this again,' she wailed to herself and she went rigid in his arms.

"I am carrying you down to the garden." Kallindo looked at her quizzically, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "You are decently clad. Did you want to put on a cloak?"

Calina shook her head while trying to find the will to speak. "Certainly… certainly I could manage to at least walk to the garden myself," Calina murmured, avoiding Kallindo with her gaze as he began descending the staircase.

"That won't do at all. I must take extra care of you. Otherwise, who would I dance with at your sisters wedding?"

Calina looked up with a start, lips parted slightly as she took in Kallindo's words. She knew it was folly, but she couldn't restrain her heart from leaping at the words.

"Well, if you put it that way," she said softly, "I suppose I can't refuse."

* * *

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Cora: Q. "encircle"

Falas: S. "beach, shore"

Hravan: Q. "wild one"

Ránendë: Q. "moon pool"

Danneniûl: S. "fallen embers"

Soronhíniell: "daughter of Soronhín"

avar: a sindarin elf

Endórë: Middle-Earth


	9. Stirring up the Waters

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

""signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

* * *

Chapter 9.) Stirring up the Waters

* * *

"_Gather the stars if you wish it so_

_Gather the songs and keep them"_

Carl Sandburg

* * *

July 13, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor 

Recap: Five days since last chapter. Kallindo has caught wind of some of the rumors flying about the town but is largely ignoring them while Calina is still trying to determine how she will deal with her newly discovered feelings.

* * *

Three young ladies were sprawled rather indecorously across the large bed. The she-elf in the middle, dressed only in a silken shift, was busy plaiting and unplaiting a small lock of her golden hair with great zeal. The she-elf on the right, dressed only in a silken shift and a soft dressing gown, was busy twisting and untwisting a lock of her silver hair around her finger in nervous confusion. The she-elf to the left, dressed in airy, lavender robes and propped up on one elbow, was frowning at the antics of the other two and wondering if her hair had been pinned securely enough to last through the evening. Danneniûl walked in upon the trio and could not help smiling at the mixture of agitation that hung heavily in the room. 

"Calina, could you go into the other room and bring the veil?"

All three maidens sat up with a start. "Is it time?" Ránendë whispered joyfully.

Danneniûl merely smiled, shooing the girls off the bed and laying the delicate gown that she had carried down upon the rumpled covers. Stepping back she admired it for a moment and then turned to her eldest daughter. She was about to free her tongue and let a moment of motherly effusion take hold of her when she noticed that Calina was still standing near the foot of the bed, twisting and untwisting her hair.

"Calina, my dear," she began gently, "The veil."

Calina looked up quickly. "Oh yes – the veil. I shall be back in a trice." And with that said, she wrapped her dressing gown tightly around herself and whisked from the room.

Danneniûl shook her head and turned back to Ránendë. "Your sister seems to be as flustered as you are."

"I wouldn't say that," the maiden in the lavender dress interjected. She was Ránendë's dearest friend and had been invited to help prepare the bride. "Ránendë has been positively simmering all morning. I never thought I would get her to lie down. And even then all she would do was fidget. I only hope you can do something with her."

Ránendë grinned bashfully as her mother laid a tender kiss on her forehead.

"I no longer have that power," Danneniûl admitted. "All we can do is prepare her for her husband. Once she sees him I think she won't remember to feel nervous any more."

Ránendë blushed even as she pouted prettily. "I am _not_ nervous, thank you. But I have so much energy I feel as I should rather take a fast run along the beach than wait in my room until eventide."

As she spoke, Calina returned with the long, embroidered veil and laid it down beside the wedding gown on the bed.

"We shall have to keep you busy then, shall we not?" Danneniûl declared. "Let's begin."

* * *

Calina muffled her laughter against her father's shoulder. Falas had just come tripping down the stairs engulfed in his eldest sister's wedding veil. And out of him came great moaning and groaning as though he were some wandering, undead waif. Soronhín accommodated his daughter with an arm around her waist and shook his head in paternal resignation. 

"I suppose it was futile to wish," he whispered into Calina's ear, "That perhaps Falas would approach this day with something resembling sobriety."

Calina snorted lightly and raised her head, eyeing her father skeptically. "Quite right, I'm afraid. But he was so good to sit quietly while we dressed Ránendë's and not get in our way that I can't fault him for this small lack of decorum. And it is quite diverting."

A small commotion in the corner caused both elves to glance over to where a small writhing body was sprawled out on the floor, trying to untwist himself.

"Falas!" Calina cried harshly. "You should know better. Oh, the veil! Here, let me see it."

With nimble fingers Calina righted her brother and divested him of his ethereal robes. Frantically she spread out the large veil and glanced over it, looking for tears or snags in the embroidery; when she found none she let out a relieved breath. Casting her eyes toward Falas she was met with a very downcast countenance. His hand was held firmly in that of his fathers and his eyes glanced timidly up from beneath his downy eyelashes.

"It is alright, little one," she smiled encouragingly. "But you must be more careful today, do you understand?"

Falas nodded his head solemnly. Calina ruffled his hair with an affectionate hand, trying to cheer him up.

"Your sister is right." Soronhín spoke, squeezing Falas' hand gently. "If you want to stand by your sister today in the great assembly you must promise to behave yourself."

"I will, _atto_, I promise."

"Very well. Then I'll let you carry that veil back to where it belongs. Tell your sister to come down; it is almost time."

With reverent movements, Falas accepted the folded veil from Calina's hands and walked with ceremonious slowness out of the room, down the sun dappled hallway, and up the stairs.

Soronhín and his daughter stood in companionable silence for a few moments. But their reverie was soon disturbed by the sound of rustling garments on the stairs. With anxious steps, Soronhín moved over to the doorway and peered down the corridor. Calina silently came to stand behind him, looking over his shoulder as Ránendë appeared in the hallway at the foot of the stairs.

Danneniûl followed shortly behind and came around in front of her daughter to adjust the veil. It fell to Ránendë's knees and she held her hands demurely clasped beneath it. But despite her subdued pose and the veil's covering, her brilliant eyes shone brightly. And the giddy smile that tugged playfully at her lips was made sweeter by its being part of the picture of an expectant bride.

"She is so beautiful," Soronhín whispered, "I am still amazed that she is my daughter – that I have been blessed with such children. It is a wondrous gift."

Calina smiled sadly. "And I could never wish for another father. Nor could my sister – I am sure it grieves her to leave this home, even as it brings her great joy to begin her own."

Soronhín rested his hand on the frame of the doorway before stepping out into the hall. "It is the way of things. She will make a beautiful home. Come," Soronhín extended his hand to his youngest daughter, "Let us wish her great joy,"

After kisses, exclamations, and compliments were exchanged in abundance the family eventually made their way out into the circular foyer. The great doors had been flung open and the path leading from the wide steps was strewn with a myriad of flowers. The slanted light of the evening sun gilt the hall in radiant hues and balanced the excitement of the company with its drowsy warmth. It was not long before the faint sound of singing could be heard. Attended by all the inhabitants of Fanlítsë, Ehtúro was coming to claim his bride.

* * *

A cheer rose up from the crowd as the pipers took up a heartier tune. The solemn rituals were past – it was time for the revelry to begin. Kallindo found himself laughing along with the rest at the antics of the young lords and ladies as they leapt and spun to the music. In was a fine night: deep and brilliant with stars. A fine night for dancing. 

To his own surprise, Kallindo soon found himself among the merry-makers. He let the music carry him and was suddenly reminded what a glorious thing it was to be alive. To spring like a roe in the forest; to breathe deep the fresh sea air; to feel the gentle touch of starlight on skin and the intoxication of the drums. Yes, it was very good. A sharp pang of joy touched Kallindo's heart then and he closed his eyes amidst the mayhem, confident that the music and the whisper of the sand would lead him through the throng safely. It was not until the rhythm changed that Kallindo opened his eyes to find he was near the edge of the dancers, and that Calina stood nearby simply watching. Without a thought he swept by her and pulled her along into the crowd. She let out a startled cry, but Kallindo merely laughed and would not let her go.

"Come, my lady," he called out over the din of the gathering, "Did not I say that I would dance with you?"

Calina had recovered from her shock by then and found that a laugh was welling up in her throat, even as her face flushed with what she hoped would be mistaken for firelight. "Indeed – let us see who grows weary first!"

The challenge being issued, it was taken up, and the two were soon lost from view in the revelry. And it was only after much swirling, swaying, laughing, and weaving that they finally came to a rest, calling a truce and collapsing beneath one of the canopies to refresh themselves and take their rest.

"A toast!" Kallindo raised a full cup of mead and clinked its edge against the goblet in Calina's hand. "To the finest dancing partner I have had in many years."

Calina bowed her head before looking up with a cheeky smile. "To one of the _only_ dancing partners you have had in many years."

Kallindo narrowed his eyes slightly but did not object, carrying on in an amused voice. "And, of course, we must raise our glass to the new family. May their love grow with the passing of time and may they soon provide you with many nieces and nephews to dote on."

With a laugh and a hearty agreement Calina raised her cup and then set it to her lips. She tried not to gulp. Feeling quite high-strung from her recent exercise and current company, she was having trouble calming her breathing, and the heat in her cheeks was quite telling. It was her desperate wish that Kallindo would not notice.

Lowering the cup, Calina set it aside and plucked a small clump of grapes from a nearby platter. Pulling them off one by one and eating them slowly helped to keep her hands from fidgeting, and she and Kallindo were able to settle into a comfortable conversation which lasted for many minutes. It was largely uneventful until her companion turned the conversation in an unexpected direction.

Leaning back on his hands and gazing out over the cheerful company, Kallindo let go of a contented sigh. "It is good to feel so carefree. Thank you, my friend."

Calina blinked. "Why do you thank me?"

Kallindo smiled and gave her a sidelong glance. "I felt shortly after I met you that you had come home for a good purpose," he finally replied. "You were like a favorable omen come down out of the mountains. I cannot say why, but you have wrought some enchantment on me, I think. After weeks of your steadfast ministration I feel almost as light as I did… before…"

Calina's pulse thrummed loudly in her ears. He said it in such a matter-of-fact way that she knew there was nothing behind it but what had been freely revealed. Yet the thought of even that was a wondrous thing. Her heart did indeed wish, however futilely, for more than gratitude, but certainly it was a beginning. And that Kallindo had felt some sort of connection to her, beyond that of a chance friendship, made Calina's heart tug with a mixture of apprehension and joy

It was unfortunate, then, that this blissfully timorous moment was interrupted by an unexpected arrival.

"You must not hide yourself away, my lady. Come back among the young folk!"

Calina looked up with a startled expression to see one of the village youths extending a hand to her. His amiable smile would have won her good will on most occasions, but his untimely intrusion, mixed with his implication that Kallindo was too mature to be thought of as more than a chaperone caused her to bristle. However, she did not have time to send the fellow off, for he scooped up her hand with confidence and drew her to her feet.

"You do not mind if I steel this sweet flower away?" the newcomer asked Kallindo off-handedly.

Calina turned back to Kallindo, willing him to _do_ something. But he had a rather resigned look on his face, as though he had known it was inevitable.

"I will feel the loss of her company," Kallindo replied gallantly, "But I would not keep her from the revels. I think I shall go sit with your father, Calina. Enjoy yourself."

Consternation welled up within her as she watched Kallindo get up from where he sat. The only thing she could think to say was, "Won't you join us?"

Kallindo gave her a slow, half-smile before continuing on his way. "Perhaps later," he replied as he moved past her. Calina pursed her lips. She knew he was merely placating what he perceived to be a gesture of pity on her part.

'Well, he can go sit with my father all night if he's going to be so obtuse,' she griped to herself. And then, with half-hearted interest, she allowed herself to be led away.

* * *

Soronhín gazed at his eldest daughter wistfully. She and her newly wedded husband had withdrawn from the firelight and only the silhouettes of their blissful faces could be discerned as they bent their heads together and whispered sweet confidences to each other. 

"Am I not enough for you?" Danneniûl whispered playfully as she came up beside her husband and took his arm. "You look positively lost."

With a sad smile, Soronhín withdrew his arm and pulled his wife into a gentle embrace. "You will always be enough, love." He placed a kiss atop her head and squeezed her waist. "But it all seems too soon. I have not lived in Endórë, as you have, but I cannot imagine how the Edain can bear to lose their daughters so soon. Only twenty years? I have had Ránendë for over two centuries, and still it is not enough."

"Ah, but just imagine," Danneniûl countered gleefully, "Grandchildren!"

Soronhín's face did lift at the thought of new little ones, but he had to laugh ruefully. "It may be quite a while yet, if they choose to be as indecisive as their parents."

"This is true, my lord," Danneniûl turned her husband back towards the light, letting the young ones have some privacy. "But it is still a wonderful thing to look forward to Perhaps the thought will bear your spirits up. – Oh, I'm sorry Kallindo, I did not mean to ignore you. "

Kallindo nodded his head cordially. "It is nothing. I was merely resting here awhile, trying to lend your good husband some moral support. He hasn't been very talkative tonight, I'm afraid."

"Then I thank you, most heartily," the lady returned with a broad smile.

Just then Calina meandered up to the trio, pausing to acquire a class of cool water as she came.

"I have finally gotten away! I thought I should have been run ragged with so much dancing. I think, father, that these village folk must raise heartier children."

Calina's tone was quite lively, despite her disheveled and flushed aspect. She was relieved to see that Kallindo had not slipped home unnoticed.

"Nay," Soronhín rejoined strongly, "Nothing can be said against my own little flock."

"If you say so, sir." Calina placed a kiss on her father's cheek and then her mothers.

"Have they left yet?" she whispered conspiratorially in her mother's ear.

Danniûl shook her head in the negative.

The maiden could not help giggling as she murmured: "What patience!"

"Calina!" her mother chided, hoping that Kallindo would ignore, or had missed, her daughter's audacious comment.

"Well it's true, I daresay." Calina tossed her head and the last blossom which adorned her hair, after having survived the nights dancing, fluttered to the ground. With a saucy grin she swept past her parents and took up a spot on the sand near Kallindo.

"Have you been sitting here all the while?" she chided lightly.

Kallindo raised an imperious eyebrow. "Actually, no, I did not."

"Oh really?" Calina eyed him. She felt a sudden wave of irrational possessiveness pass over her, but she did her best to ignore it. "And with whom did you dance?"

"I think that shall remain my secret."

Calina pouted, but it did no good; Kallindo remained unmoved. The two bickered, if such a quiet exchange could be called bickering, for several moments before Calina gave up and laid back on the sand with one hand under her head.

"I admit defeat."

Kallindo chuckled dryly. "How very good of you."

Calina let her head loll to the side and frowned. "Where are _amil_ and _atar_?"

Looking about him, Kallindo spied Calina's parents and then lay back in the sand to relay the information.

"I think your sister and brother-in-law have finally run out of patience."

Calina's face flushed crimson. Not only because Kallindo had overheard her brazen comment but because she found herself lying in the sand a mere inch or two away from the object of her most tender affection.

'I don't think I ever realized what lovely eyes he has…' Calina blinked quickly and tried to focus on what Kallindo had just said.

"And… my parents are seeing them off?" she finally responded.

Kallindo turned his face up toward the stars. "Aye. And I suspect also that Soronhín will take your mother and brother home straight after."

The two lay silently for several minutes, listening to the continued sounds of the merry-makers.

"_Bainrís_ is in her full glory tonight," Kallindo broke the peace between them.

"_Bainrís_?"

"Of course, you call her by a different name: _Wilwarin_, is it not?"

Calina smiled in understanding. "Oh, you mean the constellation… I did not realize that you had different names for them. But that does makes sense, now I think on it. Your 'Fair Queen' must have a different story than our 'Butterfly'."

"Yes, indeed she does."

A brief moment past before Calina built up the courage to ask quietly, "Won't you tell me of her?"

And Kallindo was happy to oblige.

* * *

Soronhín wandered through the congratulatory crowd looking for his wayward son. The little scamp had positively disappeared. He only hoped that Danneniûl was having better luck on the other side of the gathering. 

"Calina _is_ a bright little creature, isn't she?"

Soronhín pulled up abruptly as he was about to turn round the corner of one of the canopies. Nearby, two oblivious youths were in light-hearted conversation, apparently about his youngest daughter. The opportunity was too tempting. Soronhín was not incensed by the idea that his daughter was being looked at – there was really nothing he could do on that front – but he was very intrigued to hear what would be said of her.

"Aye," the second elf replied heartily, "Which makes it all the more pitiable that she is already lost to us."

"Lost? Do you think so? Not to–"

"It's as plain as day. Of course she is. Look at them together."

Both elves turned to gaze toward the south. Soronhín followed their lead and he found that Calina was right where he had left her. She and Kallindo were both reclining on the sand, apparently engrossed in their conversation. Kallindo pointed up toward the stars as if tracing a picture; then he said something and Calina giggled, her nose scrunching up prettily.

'Certainly not,' Soronhín mused, 'They must be mistaken.'

"You must be mistaken," the first elf reasoned, "Kallindo is a fine elf, but she could not possibly take to one so serious – and who is old enough to be her father, no less. And we all know Kallindo is quite confirmed in his bachelorhood."

"Be that as it may," the second elf continued undaunted, "The signs are evident. Perhaps he is unmoved – it is certainly a point open to argument. But she is positively smitten. You should have seen the way she drooped when I took her away from him for a dance."

The conversation was brought to an abrupt halt as the two elves were called back into the crowd. Apparently some games of skill were about to be hazarded by the young folk in the dim light.

Soronhín stood still for a moment, quite confused. Had he really committed such a gross oversight?

"Husband, I have found your naughty son," Danneniûl appeared suddenly, Falas in hand. "He and Hravan were getting into mischief again."

With what he hoped was a neutral expression, Soronhín turned back to his wife. "We'll speak of it in the morning. This is not a day for unpleasantness."

Thankfully, Danneniûl accepted this explanation and took Soronhín's hand with her free one. "Let's go home."

As the three departed, Soronhín had to resist the urge to retrieve Calina, pull her up from the sand, and send her off to bed, as he would have done when she was a child. However, as things stood presently, it looked as though the situation would require a great deal more delicacy and tact than that solution would allow for.

Soronhín sighed. He would have to speak with Calina before anything could be decided.

* * *

Calina couldn't keep herself from humming along with the pretty tune that was still rising up from the beaches near the town and through her open window. The celebration was certainly not over, even though the family of the bride had departed. 

Walking over to the window, brush in hand, Calina sat down on the sill and began undoing her hair. A smile full of delightful secrets spread across her face. She couldn't help it. She had enjoyed herself so thoroughly that she could not help but be gay. And was there not also cause for hope?

"I am willing to work for this," Calina murmured to the sea breezes ruffling her silver locks. "I am of the firstborn – I have all the time in the world. Whatever he gives me I shall cherish and be grateful for; whatever obstacles there are, I will cast down as gently as I may; and whatever walls he has built for himself, I shall make him see that he is not alone."

Calina stood and nodded resolutely at the brilliant moon. She did not swear it, but from that day forward, she took her words as an oath.

* * *

1. Tolkien dubbed the constellation Cassiopeia as Wilwarin in the Silmarillion. But this was the name given to it by Elbereth (Varda) and may not have necessarily been known the Elves that never traveled to Valinor with Oromë. Therefore, I have taken the liberty to create a name by which they might have called it, and which makes a vague allusion to the constellation we know. 

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallind: Q. "noble heart"

Soronhín: Q. "eagle child"

Danneniûl: S. "fallen embers"

Falas: S. "beach, shore"

Ránendë: "moon pool"

Ehtúro: "spear victor"

Hravan: "wild one"

atto/atar: "daddy/father"

amil: "mother"

Endórë: Middle-Earth

Bainrís: "beautiful queen"

Wilwarin: "butterfly"


	10. A Delicate Dilemma

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

* * *

Chapter 10.) A Delicate Dilemma

* * *

_"Has no one said those daring _

_Kind eyes should be more learn'd? _

_Or warned you how despairing _

_The moths are when they are burned, _

_I could have warned you, but you are young, _

_So we speak a different tongue"_

W. B. Yeats

* * *

July 19, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor 

Recap: Ránendë has been married. At the wedding, Soronhín overheard two elves speculate on whether or not Calina was in love with Kallindo. He was rather disturbed by the possibility.

* * *

"You are in a dark mood." 

Danneniûl approached her husband from behind and propped her chin on his shoulder, circling his waist with her arms. Soronhín made a non-commital noise in his throat and covered Danneniûl's hands with one of his own. His other rested against the frame of one of their many bedroom windows. It was just after dawn.

"Are you going to speak to me of this great evil today," she spoke again, "or should I allow you to brood for another six?"

Soronhín turned in his wife's arms and raised two questioning eyebrows. Danneniûl graced him with a shrewd smile.

"Your thoughts have been fermenting since the day after Ránendë's wedding – don't try to deny it. Now, _if_ you're simply recovering from the shock of watching your first child marry, then tell me straightway and I will leave you to it. There's nothing I can do for you on that count. But if the malady lies somewhere else, I will have it out of you. I know how to unseal those lips."

A wry smile spread across Soronhín's face. "You are so sure of yourself?"

Danneniûl chuckled before leaning in to place a light, good-morning kiss on her husband's lips. "You cannot keep a secret from me, my love."

Soronhín seemed to deflate, pulling his wife tightly against himself and burying his face in the crook of her neck.

"I am perplexed by a very agitating dilemma," he finally murmured.

Danneniûl stroked her husband's cropped, silver locks, waiting for him to say more.

"It concerns two people that are very dear to us both."

Was it true, then? Danneniûl had had her own vague worries on that point, but hadn't given much weight to her suspicion.

Stepping back from her husband, Danneniûl led him over to their bed. She took up a seat by the headboard and pulled him down next to her. Soronhín laid his long body out across the bed and Danneniûl drew his head to rest on her lap, weaving the fingers of her left hand through his hair once more.

"Tell me of it, and perhaps together we will find a way through it."

Soronhín brought his wife's free hand to his lips before beginning the tale.

* * *

"What a diligent artisan I find at work today. But can there truly be a beautiful young lady under all those grim layers?" 

Calina looked up from where she had just finished spinning out a disc of sea-blue glass. She had a thick leather apron on, to protect her from the heat, as well as an odd sort of visor. There was no doubt in her mind that she was also covered in an unbecoming layer of sweat, accented on occasion by dingy smudge-marks. As her eyes adjusted to the brilliant light from outside, she recognized that it was Kallindo who stood leaning casually against the frame of the kiln room door.

"Have you been standing there long?" she inquired.

"Some short while," Kallindo nodded. "You are fascinating to watch."

For all its awkwardness, Calina was very glad that she was wearing the visor at that moment. It hid quite nicely the pleased smile that unwisely leapt to her lips at his turn of phrase.

"I'm glad you approve of my art," she replied conservatively, removing the visor and setting it on one of the work tables. "And yes, by the way, there is a young lady under all these layers. But I couldn't say whether she is beautiful or not – she rather needs a bath before the epithet could be applied, don't you think?"

Kallindo paused in his inspection of one of Calina's newly finished projects – a moderately sized, stained-glass window. Turning to the maiden he looked her up and down in a very business-like fashion before proclaiming with authority, "Never lovlier."

Calina ruthlessly crushed the desire to grin like a mad fool as she moved to hang her apron on a nearby peg. Staring at the taupe wall she took a moment to compose her emotions. Then, turning back to Kallindo, she said in a light voice, "I must show you something. Come."

In a small room attached to the kiln, Calina had a wide array of oddities and trinkets arranged on rows of shelves. In the corner, a table sat with a curiously shaped, veiled object upon it.

"Would you like to guess what it is, or shall I simply show it to you?" Calina inquired.

Kallindo studied the peculiar lines of the covering. Whatever was hidden beneath was of no regular shape. It was perhaps two spans high"", three long, and the cloth over it seemed to rest mostly on various small points which jutted out like minature tent poles from the piece.

"I am bewildered, I must confess."

Calina smiled triumphantly and drew the cloth away. Kallindo stared at the sculpture for a moment before chuckling at the inside joke. There before him, mounted on a simple platform, was a gnarled locust branch, wrought out of clear, pristine glass. A window was situated in the far wall, and the light that shone through it splintered delightfully among the smooth, slanting thorns and textured contours of the branch.

"Very appropriate," he finally murmured. "I approve."

"I was pulling slender pieces of glass for a raised design on another piece, and they reminded me of that confounded thorn I stepped on. I thought it would make for a very elegant design."

"It does… quite lovely," Kallindo mused as he peered closer, to look at some of the details of the bark.

Unfortunately, the entrance of Calina's father waylaid his inspection.

"Ah, there you are."

Kallindo straightened up to greet his friend. "Are you ready to depart?"

"Yes," Soronhín replied. "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. It was a letter of some delicacy, and had to be sent with haste."

"No matter," Kallindo shrugged off the apology before turning back to Calina. "Farewell, we'll leave you to your work."

Calina was about to ask where the two were bound when Soronhín told her that her mother was asking for her, and that it was a matter of some urgency. Without knowing quite how it happened, Calina found herself swept out of her workshop, into the courtyard, and up the steps to the main house before she could bid Kallindo farewell. With a curious feeling that she had missed something important, Calina ducked into the cool shade of the house and went in search of her mother. She hoped the matter would not be so pressing that she couldn't delay for a moment to wash her face and hands.

Danneniûl did send her daughter off to the washbasin as soon as she laid eyes on her. But it was only a few minutes before Calina returned and stood expectantly, wondering what was astir. Danneniûl seemed hesitant as she continued to roll up tidy bandages, which Falas would no doubt run through in a few short weeks. Without knowing what else to do, Calina sat down across from her mother, who stood at one of her work-tables, and opened the conversation.

"_Atar_ said that you needed me rather urgently. What is it?"

There was a pause before Danneniûl spoke. "Could you take those other pieces of cloth and start making them into strips?" She gestured toward a small pile of sturdy, plain cloth at the end of the table.

Calina, now quite confused, reached over to pull one of the pieces toward her. There was a pair of scissors sitting on the table as well. As she snipped along one edge of the cloth at two or three inch intervals, she eyed her mother speculatively.

"This is not an urgent matter, _amil_, and you cannot convince me otherwise. Why did you need to speak to me?"

With steady movements, Danneniûl wrapped up the last bandage, placed it on top of the others in a round basket, and set the basket aside.

"Come," she moved from behind the table and took her daughter's hand. "Walk with me."

Silence reigned between the pair as Danneniûl led Calina through a small doorway that opened on the hillside, down through a trellised garden, and into the cool shadows of the trees. Not a word was spoken until they came to a convenient fallen log and settled onto it. Ribbons of soft wind whispered around them and through the delicate branches of the birch trees.

"Your _atar_ and I are worried."

Calina stared down at the moss beneath her feet. "Hmm," she finally murmured, nudging a small stick around with her toe. "Am I to know what about?"

"I do not say it is true, but we have heard some gossip…" Danneniûl trailed off as she caught her daughter's less-than-enthused expression. "And we would like to hear from you if there is any substance to the report."

"And it is?" Calina prodded.

"That there is more between you and Kallindo than friendship."

Calina's eyes went suddenly ablaze. "If someone has dared to question my honor, I'll–"

"No, no, no, child. It is not of that nature. Be calm." Danneniûl took her daughter's face in her hands. "It is only said that, perhaps you are in love with him, and he with you."

Tears leapt to Calina's eyes before she could repress them. She did no allow them to fall, but the wetness of her eyes told her mother much before she even spoke.

"No," Calina finally breathed, blinking rapidly and pulling her face away from Danneniûl's warm hands. "He is not in love with me."

"Ah, so that is where the wind lies."

Without a word of censure, Danneniûl drew Calina into her arms and allowed her to cry what few tears she would let fall onto her shoulder.

* * *

Calina felt brittle. She was perched on a chair between two of the pillars which enclosed the sitting room on the north and east sides. She faced inward, toward the round fire-pit in the center of the room. The light of the setting sun was on her back, but it did not warm on her. Soronhín and Danneniûl sat side-by-side on a settee, facing her, but she did not meet their gazes. She wanted to be angry at their inquisition, but she found she didn't have the energy for it. 

"I do not understand why you and _amil_ think it necessary to hold counsel on this matter." Calina finally met her father's eye. "I am in love with Kallindo. I did not mean to lose my heart to him, but is it done; there is nothing else to be said."

"There is much to be said," Soronhín replied gently. "You are young and your acquaintance with him as been short. There is no need for this to continue further."

Calina lifted her chin stubbornly. "I do not pretend to be hopelessly lost, nor do I pretend to be more mature than I am or to know more of love than I do. I am not so carried away. But if you think that it would not hurt me gravely to be parted from him, you are wrong, _atar_. I understand the difference between infatuation and love. I do not use the terms carelessly. I _love_ Kallindo. I do not want to put away the feelings I have for him."

"Yet it is the wisest choice. I do not mean to be cruel, little one, but he does not love you." Calina flinched perceptibly, but her father continued, sure that it was the best thing. "And it is probable that he will never love you. Nay, that he _cannot_ love you! Your heart is too precious to me, Calina – I will not stand by as you throw it away!"

"I am not throwing it away! It is the purpose of every heart to love. And I will love; I will hope. It is enough, _atar_… please…"

"And what if your hope is fulfilled?" Soronhín pressed on. "What then? You will bind yourself to an elf almost your father's age? Separate yourself even further than you already have from your peers, and from the simple joys of your youth, which will never come again? Marry your fate to that of an elf who gave his heart to another before you were even born? Calina! You are only a hundred and twenty-one years old! …He has lived for well over two millennia. The match would be ill made.

A single tear escaped Calina's tightly closed eyes and Soronhín watched with an aching heart as it slid down her cheek. Danneniûl squeezed her husband's hand reassuringly before standing up and moving to crouch down in front of Calina.

"Dearest, we love you. We will always love you." Danneniûl brushed the tear away. "And we say these things _because_ we love you."

Calina opened her eyes and gazed over her mother's head to where her father sat dejectedly. "I love him," she whispered, "And I do not have the strength to withdraw my heart. It is done. I do not know what else to say."

Soronhín stood and walked slowly from the room. Danneniûl pulled her daughter up from the chair and kissed her on both cheeks.

"Go rest. I am sure we will speak more on this matter in the morning. Do not sorrow, Calina. We will find a way to understand each other, I am sure. But it will wait for the morning. Go sleep."

Calina allowed herself to be sent to bed, but she laid awake beneath the covers until timid streaks of dawn began to light up the eastern sky.

* * *

Soronhín rubbed a hand across his face before sitting down on the window seat. He and Calina had stumbled into each other in the library very early that morning, both being unable to rest well. His interview with her then had not been any more productive than their conversation the night before. He only hoped that what he was about to do next would prove more useful. And he prayed fervently to the Valar that it would not do any lasting harm. He had the feeling that his wife would not be pleased with him. 

A soft knock sounded from the doorway. Soronhín composed his expression and rose to meet his guest.

"Kallindo, come in. Thank you for coming so early."

Kallindo gave a small smile. "I was more than willing to come. You deserve it after the grief I gave you over those birds. I was shocked into wakefulness by the very fact that you had finally trained one of them to fly where it should instead of disappearing to start a nest with bits of paper from the letter it carried. Well done."

Soronhín could not help a wry smile slipping onto his lips. But it was a tainted pleasure, to be proven correct at this of all times.

"I have something very grave of which I must speak with you, my friend."

Kallindo immediately sobered, taking up residence on a nearby chair and focusing his attention on his host. "You know that I am willing to serve your family in any way I can. Speak on."

With a great deal of discomfort, Soronhín revealed what he knew of Calina's current state in as few words as possible. After some skirting around of the issue, he knew that he had finally communicated the full import of the situation when Kallindo's face paled visibly.

"She – Calina loves me?"

Soronhín let out a tired sigh. "Aye. At least she thinks so."

Kallindo chuckled mirthlessly. "Oh, she does much more than think. Calina always knows what she wants."

Both elves sat silently for a few moments.

"I can only assume…" Kallindo got up abruptly and began pacing the room. "I take it that you do not approve of her choice."

Soronhín stood as well. "It is more complex than that. You should know, Kallindo, that I hold you in the highest esteem. But as far as I can see, your situation does not leave you at liberty to offer Calina what she seeks. It is hopeless, is it not?"

Kallindo stood at of the windows, gazing intently toward the horizon. His hands were clasped behind his back, the fingers of his right hand curling and flexing. A lengthy pause extended once more between the pair.

"What if it were not?" Kallindo finally questioned, almost to himself.

"Pardon?"

"What if it were not?" Turning to Soronhín, Kallindo cleared his throat and unclasped his hands, then clasped them again. "Soronhín, you know how much your friendship, and the friendship of this entire family has meant to me. And Calina, in a few short months, has entirely gained my respect and affection. I still do not understand the workings of my own heart, nor do I know that it is healed or that it will ever heal. But if, by taking your daughter's hand, I may prevent her from experiencing the pain that I have experienced, I would do it with my whole heart. I do care for your daughter a great deal, though I have never looked beyond friendship. And I would do my best to make her happy. If that is what you would have of me, I will do it without hesitation."

Soronhín was dumbfounded. He had not expected this sort of selflessness. It took him a moment to compose his thoughts. In the end, all he could manage to say was, "I could not let you sacrifice yourself in this way."

"It is certainly not a heavy sacrifice," Kallindo replied. "If it even deserves that title. To have a companion and a purpose is not a burdensome lot. And certainly it is a blessing to be able to bless those who you love."

"Still, it is not what you deserve, nor what Calina deserves. She knows what she wants, but she also knows when she is being mollified. She does not know that I am speaking with you and I think she would have my head if she found out. She would not want your pity."

Kallindo dropped back down into his chair. "Then what is to be done? Do you mean to leave things as they lay? For me to pretend I don't know and hope that the matter resolves itself somehow?" He smiled impulsively. "Perhaps, if I set myself to the task, I could learn to love her. She is daring enough, I daresay she would teach me how if I asked it of her." Kallindo chuckled softly, shaking his head and letting it fall into his hands.

Soronhín did not meet his friend's gaze as he spoke. "Nay. I would not have it so. Ai! And this is where I come to the meat of the argument. I hate to ask this of you, my friend, but… I would like you to leave Fanlítsë. Her love is still new – it may yet die under a cold wind. Take yourself from here and let her forget. Let her be young. Let her grow up slowly"

Kallindo raised his head and studied Soronhín's face for several moments. His heart chilled somewhat as he began to understand the root of the matter. "You are playing with fire. What if it is too late? Are you willing to risk her health – her very life – to keep her from a match that you believe to be ill-suited?"

Soronhín met Kallindo's gaze sharply.

"That is the crux, is it not?" Kallindo spoke softly. "I am too old for her? My friend, stranger matches have been made." Soronhín opened his mouth to defend himself, but Kallindo carried on. "But I do not blame you. I see the reason in it – I would tend to agree with you. And I see that you are trying to protect your daughter. Because of this, and because of my respect for you, I will leave. But if anything ill should befall her because of it, I will defy you and return. She is a dear friend, and has my loyalty, even as you have mine. I hope I do not have to choose between them."

With a grave nod, Soronhín placed a firm hand on Kallindo's shoulder. "As do I. But I do not want you to follow your loyalties blindly. Take some time to decide what you think is best. This is your life as well. I will not run you from the village."

A crooked smile lifted the corner of Kallindo's mouth. "That is one small pleasure, at least. I will wait until the morrow to depart, but I do not think I will change my course."

After a few more moments of strained conversation, Soronhín walked with Kallindo out into the courtyard. They faced one another with grim expressions, unsure of how to depart. Their silence was interrupted as Calina stepped from her kiln-room, where she had sought refuge to think. Upon seeing Kallindo's back, Calina froze and was flooded with the strong urge to escape back into her dark sanctuary. But the impulse was overcome, and with what she hoped was a quiet expression, she approached the pair, bidding them a congenial good morning.

Calina found herself unable to meet her father's eyes, but she sought out Kallindo's gaze hungrily. She felt that if she could only have a kind glimpse of him, and a light word, she would be able to survive the day ahead with a smile on her face. Her hopes, however, were dashed when she caught the fleeting mixture of emotions that tumbled across his usually placid face. Calina would never have been able to sort them all out, but at the forefront she recognized a clear streak of pity. The realization hit her like a blow in the stomach.

"Oh, _atar_, you didn't!"

Calina turned to her father, hoping to find that her fears were groundless, but his eyes gave her no solace.

"_Atar_, how–" She took a few steps backward. "I have to go, I– I have to go."

Soronhín watched helplessly as his daughter walked briskly from the courtyard and fled down into the forest.

* * *

1: 1 span/9 in/22.86 cm 

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Soronhín: Q. "eagle child"

Danneniûl: S. "fallen embers"

Falas: S. "beach, shore" 

Ránendë: Q. "moon pool"

atar/atto: Q. "father/daddy"

amil/ammë: Q. "mother/mommy"


	11. An Early Frost

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

* * *

**A/N: Please Read (or at least pretend to)!**

1.) I'm sorry this has been another long delay. Real life really stinks sometimes. But, this is the longest chapter so far (by about a page and a half)… I hope that makes up for something.

2.) Big hugs go out to everyone who reviewed on the last chapter. It was the most reviews I've had for a chapter in a while, and it was really encouraging to receive them all. You guys are great. (And of course, so is everyone who has ever reviewed this story!)

3.) Specific thanks go out to…

TigerLily713: Who has been reviewing my stories since the first chapter of my first fic. Now go write some more LotR fics yourself so I can leave more reviews for you!

bratprincess: Who has been reviewing my stories since the second chapter of my first fic. Girl, your reviews always bring a great big smile to my face. I'll even put up with you poking my characters if you promise to not stop dropping by to give me your two cents.

A Monkey's Harp: Who always has nice, insightful things to say, and whose screen name makes me happy.

Nyeren (Rana): Whose enthusiasm is uplifting, and who gives me reviews both here and on TORC – way to pull double duty, my friend.

Concetta: Who always leaves reviews, but who doesn't have an e-mail address, and therefore cannot receive personal replies filled with my gratitude. (And whose screen name I have to say aloud – in a fake Italian accent – every time I see it just because I like the way it rolls off my tongue).

* * *

Chapter 11.) An Early Frost

* * *

_THE FROST has settled down upon the trees_

_and ruthlessly strangled off the fantasies_

_of leaves that have gone unnoticed, swept like old_

_romantic stories now no more to be told. _

D.H. Lawrence

* * *

July 20, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor 

Recap: Same day as the end of the last chapter. Calina's parents have found out that Calina is in love with Kallindo. In an attempt to break the bond before it grows stronger, Soronhín has asked Kallindo to leave Fanlítsë for a time.

* * *

Calina walked reluctantly out from beneath the eaves of the forest. Since her morning encounter with Kallindo and Soronhín she had cloistered herself away on the wooded hill. No one had come down to find her, and for that she was glad. It had given her time to rage, pace, mutter, cry, and think. And that time had been precious: there was much to think on.

But the time for brooding was now over. In a perverse stroke of irony her stomach - usually so docile - had begun to cry out for the noonday meal, which was some two hours past. And so, feeling that it was too much to be both emotionally _and_ physically miserable, Calina departed her sanctuary with resigned steps. She hoped that she could raid the kitchen without being noticed, and eat her repast in solitude. Then she would take a few minutes to prepare herself for an unpleasant but necessary meeting with her father.

The way between the lower garden door and the kitchen was, thankfully, clear of both servants and family. Calina arrived with a mental sigh of relief and felt a degree of tension ease out of her as she stepped into the calm and homey room. Within moments she found a few delectables, a piece of day-old bread, and a decanter of some sweet cordial. She was halfway through her modest meal when the eldest of the family's two maidservants, a kindly matron, entered with a basket of newly cleaned aprons and bread-cloths.

"There you are!" she clucked, "Your poor mother did fret over the noon meal, though she tried not to show it. I hope you were not kept away by some unpleasant business."

Of course, the lady didn't know a thing about what had transpired in the house over the past two days, but her question was uncomfortable nonetheless. Calina did her best to provide a sufficiently benign answer, and quickly ate up the rest of her lunch before fleeing the kitchen. She paused a moment in a small alcove in the hallway to decide what she would do next. Her father's study was only a few yards away. The door was closed, but when she calmed her breath, Calina thought she heard the sliding whisper of paper on paper. He was at home.

Feeling somewhat restored after her meal, and knowing that any traces of her morning cry must have disappeared, she felt that it was as good a time as any to do what had to be done. With a slightly raised chin, Calina strode down the hallway and knocked crisply on the closed study door.

There was a rather lengthy pause before Calina heard movement from beyond the door. In another moment Soronhín swung open the solid oak panel and stood before her, his face in a contrived state of neutrality. For several moments neither one spoke.

"I need to know what you told him," Calina declared with soft forcefulness.

Soronhín did not argue with her. Instead, he stood aside and beckoned her into the room. Calina complied, taking a chair and watching expectantly as Soronhín closed the door and positioned another chair to face her before sitting down as well.

"I told him what I knew of your current state," Soronhín finally spoke, his tone bland.

"My _current state_?" Calina exclaimed bitterly.

Soronhín closed his eyes and wove his fingers together. "I told him that you were in love with him."

"But why, _atar_? I don't understand it! Unless you asked him to shun me, and I cannot imagine that you possess such arbitrary cruelty."

"Nay, I did not ask him to shun you. He truly cares for you, and I would never ask him to belie himself, nor would I wish such a sting to fall upon you." Soronhín's fingers tightened on one another and did not release.

"But you did ask _something_ of him, didn't you." It was a statement, not a question. And yet, Calina knew that an answer would come and she prepared herself for a harsh blow.

Yes, I did."

Calina's eyes pleaded with her father, where her voice failed: _Tell me_.

"I can only trust to your affection, that you will forgive me one day, little one. And I pray that you will understand I have only tried to protect you as best I can."

"_Atar_…"

Soronhín leaned forward in his chair and held his daughter's gaze as he spoke. "I have asked him to leave Fanlítsë."

Calina's eyes widened perceptibly, but it was her only sign of reaction for a long moment. She opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. She closed it and opened it again: "How could you do it? This is madness! Do you seek to quell my heart by taking away its sun? All that you will do is cast me into darkness. You have no power to change that!"

With an abrupt movement, Calina rose from her chair and began pacing the room. "And this is Kallindo's home - more so even than it is mine. This place is his content! If you cannot be swayed from your intention, at least send me away and not him. Please, _atar_!"

Calina knelt before her father and grasped one of his hands.

"Nay!" Soronhín placed a fervent kiss on his daughter's brow and stroked her hair with his free hand. "Do not ask me such a thing. I know that this will be a difficult time for you, little one. I cannot bear the thought of you enduring it alone. And my duties do not allow me to leave this place, not now. No - you must stay. And Kallindo has agreed to go - I did not command him."

"His love for you would turn any request into a command!" Calina drew back and pinned her father with a blazing glare. "You have done wrong by both of us. This cannot come to good."

"It may yet! Have some faith in my judgment."

Calina scrambled to her feet and flew to exit the room.

Soronhín stood hastily and cried out. "A little patience, and- " But he did not speak quickly enough, and his words were lost in the firm thud of the oak door against its frame.

* * *

Kallindo surveyed his sparsely furnished bedchamber one last time. He believed he had remembered to pack everything of immediate worth, and nothing that would be greatly missed caught his eye. What was yet unpacked would be left as it was, against the day of his return, perhaps. He hoped he would return. If not, a cart could always be hired to carry away the rest. But that would be for another day.

One difficult article still lay on the bed, next to a set of well-worn traveling bags. It was the tunic that he had leant Calina on the first day of their acquaintance. Kallindo eyed it in doubt, unsure whether to take it with him or no. His first impulse had been to take it with him; it had been a gift, and was after all one of his favorite tunics. But when he had drawn it from the chest under the window he had found that it was now entirely associated with a young silvery maiden, and not with its giver, or even his tastes, at all. It also struck him oddly that, though it always lay near the top of the chest, he had not worn it once since Calina brought it back to him.

Kallindo turned away from the bed and went into the front room of his home. A half-drunk mug of tea was growing cold on the windowsill. Paying it no head, Kallindo went over to the latticework door and swung it open, stepping out into the weak morning sunshine. A few minutes past before Kallindo's eyes wandered up to the southern bluff that jutted out into the bay. He squinted briefly and then turned away from the view. Calina was atop the high ridge, watching the sunrise.

There was something indelicate about the whole situation, Kallindo decided then: something a little crass. The first budding of love is a fragile experience for an elf, and a time of great vulnerability, though it is often hidden beneath layers of joy and excitement. Kallindo perceived with sudden clarity that to have such a new love aired out with such abruptness was a great shame. Calina may not have wanted his pity, but he did pity her. It was truly a shame.

A hallow chuckle escaped Kallindo's throat as he turned back to his bedchamber. Why in the name of all things good had she fallen in love with him? It was an odd fancy.

"Would that I could undo it," Kallindo murmured, reaching down to pick up the troublesome tunic. Without analyzing the decision further, he stuffed it into one of the leather sacks and hoisted them both onto one shoulder.

* * *

"Ránendë!"

Ránendë blinked groggily as her eyes focused into wakefulness. Her face rested against Ehtúro's chest; she frowned as he moved from beneath her and sat up in bed.

"Someone calls for you, love." Ehtúro leaned down and placed quick kisses on his wife's forehead, nose, and mouth.

"Ignore them and they'll go away," Ránendë smiled sleepily.

"I would obey you gladly," Ehtúro replied, while pulling the covers away from Ránendë. "Except that whoever it is sounds rather agitated."

Ránendë's mind suddenly came into focus. It had only been eight days since the wedding. Why would anyone intrude upon their solitude so soon unless something was gravely amiss?

Just as this thought registered in the lady's mind, the voice called out again: "Ránendë, please come out. I need to speak with you."

"It is my sister!"

Ehtúro relinquished the bed sheet and Ránendë wrapped it around herself as she quickly padded to the main entrance of their newly built home. When she opened the door, Calina drew her unceremoniously outside. Then, in a flustered tone, she was sent directly back in to "put some decent clothing on," and instructed to come back out directly.

"What is it about?" Ehtúro asked from his seat on the bed. He watched with a concerned expression as his wife quickly made herself presentable.

"I do not know yet. But Calina looked positively out of sorts. I'll return as soon as I can." And without even so much as a good-bye kiss, Ránendë flew from the house.

Calina was waiting on the front step, knees hugged to her chest. She sprang to her feet as soon as Ránendë reappeared.

"You have to come with me! I know it is terrible thing to ask of you, but I can't think of any other way. I won't ask _amil_, because she refuses to be set against _atar_. You are the only one left!"

Ránendë stared in baffled silence at her unusually incoherent sister. "Calina, dearest, I think you had much better start from the beginning. I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about."

In a voice that wavered between bashfulness and indignation, Calina informed her sister of her "current state," and of their father's means of dealing with the situation. Ránendë was duly impressed by the narrative, and sympathized with her sister in a very comforting manner. But she did not quite know what to think. Was their father right, after all? She herself had lectured Calina on the poor state of Kallindo's heart. However, she quickly rallied to Calina's aid when she heard what had transpired that morning.

"I only wanted to be able to speak with him at least once before he left," Calina explained. "To try and- I don't know- perhaps there was nothing to say, but I wanted to try… But he's already gone! I went to see him this morning and his things were missing. He has already left, and _atar_ won't tell me where he went!"

Ránendë slipped a reassuring arm around her sister's waist and began leading her back to their once-shared home.

"Come, I shall speak with him and persuade him to tell. He is still our good father - I will make him understand."

At the end of their journey, Ránendë left her sister in the courtyard and told her to wait there a while. She would go in alone. As she suspected, their father was still in his study. She quickly pushed open the door and stepped into the room.

Soronhín was staring out a window, looking rather lost, but he turned when he heard someone enter. For several moments all he could do was stare at his eldest daughter in dumbfounded silence.

"I am of course delighted that you've come to visit us so soon, but… whatever are you doing here?"

Ránendë pursed her lips before going straight to the heart of the matter: "Where has Kallindo gone?"

Soronhín groaned softly. He had had far too many arguments with his children over the past few days. It left an ache in his heart. "Your sister called you here."

"Aye, she did. And I was glad to come. I am as surprised as you are by this revelation, but certainly she has the right to at least speak with him before they are separated. Her confidences have been revealed, she has had no opportunity to explain herself to him, and when she goes to speak with him this morning she finds that he has, in one night, already uprooted himself and gone. _Atar_, it is hardly fair."

"And you would like me to tell her where Kallindo has gone, so she will have the opportunity to do something incredibly rash? I think it would not be well."

"And I think you are exaggerating the possibilities," Ránendë countered firmly. "Besides, the fact remains that, though young, Calina _is_ a grown woman. You were within your rights to ask Kallindo to leave, as one person to another. But Calina also has the right to choose if she will stay. Do not drive her away, _atar_. Let her at least speak with him; she will come back, she has given her word."

Soronhín looked thoughtfully at his daughter. "She gave her word?"

"Aye."

"Then… I cannot refuse, though it troubles me. I imagine that Kallindo will be on the Middle Road to the city. He has a good friend there: Alassar, the minstrel."

"Thank you, _atto_!" Ránendë swooped up to place a kiss on her father's cheek before leaving in a whirlwind of skirts.

She found her sister pacing in the hallway. Calina turned at the sound of the door closing.

"The Middle Road. You remember Alassar, his friend."

The words had hardly been spoken when Calina let a relieved smile claim her lips and, with a word of thanks, ran out of the house and toward the stables.

It was not long at all before Calina led her horse out into the courtyard. She was quite capable of riding bareback, and there really was no need for any other preparations since she would not be gone long. Gathering her skirt in one hand, Calina swung up onto her mount and turned the mare toward the pathway leading down from the hill. Her intentions of leaving were interrupted, however, by the sight of the dark kiln-room door.

She chewed on her lip slightly, considering the impulse, before she slipped back down off the horse and ran into the cool rooms. The sculpture of the locust branch still sat in its place of honor amid her other creations. With a timid hand, Calina reached out and slid her fingers around one of the largest thorns. Then, with a determined set to her chin, she snapped the thorn at its base and returned to her horse. Only moments later she was urging her mare down the hill toward the town, where the Middle Road ran into the sea.

* * *

Kallindo was glad of the horse Soronhín had lent him. It would have been wearisome to carry his bags all the way to the city. Still, Kallindo was more fond of walking than of riding, and so he merely led the horse, which clopped along beside him at an obligingly sedate pace.

The day, at least, was beautiful. This had provided a little comfort to the reluctant traveler. One could not help but be somewhat uplifted by the sight of clear sunlight falling across fields of vibrant grass and fragrant wildflowers. Kallindo's thoughts began to be weighed down once more, however, as he came within sight of the river fording. He had passed this was with the ladies of Soronhín's house not so long ago. That had been a merry day.

"Ah, Calina," he whispered to himself, though the horse pricked its ears in curiosity. Kallindo chuckled and obliged the horse by patting its neck and addressing it companionably. "She is such an exuberant spirit. I do wonder how she ever became tangled up with love. I don't suppose you have any wise words to share upon the business?"

The horse continued to walk along the road. Kallindo shook his head. "I thought not. I certainly don't have the wisdom for it. I wish I knew what would be best to do, but I am in a muddle, my friend - a true quandary. Should I have spoken to her before I left? I begin to think that I should have. But can I turn back now?"

The horse rolled its eyes and arched its neck, sidestepping away from Kallindo and letting out a light whicker.

"You think I should?" Kallindo questioned in amusement.

But as the horse continued to prance along, Kallindo understood that something else was afoot. A moment later the answer came to him. There was a sound of hoofbeats coming faintly from the south, most likely from a rider upon the road. Thinking nothing of it, Kallindo continued on his way, speaking softly to the horse. However, his journey came to a halt a few minutes later when, upon throwing a casual glance over his shoulder, he caught a glimpse of a skirted rider with silver hair. He did not for a moment try to deceive himself as to the identity and purpose of the elf.

Kallindo led the horse to the side of the road and relieved it of its burden. There was no use for the poor horse to stand there through the odd encounter that was to come, and the small river ahead would provide a convenient watering hole. With a kind word, Kallindo sent his mount off to wander in the fields. Then, finding a patch of ground where he would not crush many of the innocent flowers, Kallindo took a seat and waited patiently for the lady to arrive.

Calina rode with great confidence. Kallindo could not help but marvel at the courageous set of her shoulders and the firm, steady movements with which she brought her horse to a side-stepping halt in front of him. Her color had been heightened by the fast pace of the ride; silver hair floated about her face and softened the tense line of her jaw. It was a sight that impressed itself upon Kallindo's mind and lingered in his heart for many days after.

However, her intense poise broke for a moment as she met his gaze. A flicker of doubt wavered in her eyes and a self-concious bloom spread across her cheeks. She did not know where to begin, Kallindo could see that; he grew quite concerned as the silence between them stretched on. Finally, he decided that since she had supplied the bravery needed to follow him, it would be unjust for him to not take some of the burden upon himself and speak first.

"I am glad that you've come," he began, his voice surprisingly natural, "I should have spoken with you before I left; forgive me. "

Calina ducked her head for a moment, but then raised it and gave a small nod of thanks.

"It seemed the thing to do. Impulsive, perhaps, but it was the only goal I could fix my mind upon... Of course, as is so often the case, I never paused to think what would happen after I found you."

Kallindo couldn't keep the soft smile from his lips. Calina had such a characteristic expression of confusion on her face: it warmed his heart to know the world had not _truly_ been turned up-side-down in the space of a day.

"Why don't you come sit and think a while," Kallindo suggested. "I will wait until you are ready to speak. "

Upon making this suggestion, Calina fixed Kallindo with such a heart-felt look of relief, gratitiude, and adoration that is was almost too much for him. Though he was fairly certain that he had never actually blushed in his many years of existence, an uncomfortable heat did prickle his skin.

Calina slid off her horse, graceful as ever, and took a seat on the ground near Kallindo, but not too near. Considering it a kindness, Kallindo did not weigh her down with his gaze, but instead scrutinized the land before him, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Calina took full advantage of his offer, quietly weaving and unweaving her fingers as she pondered how best to begin.

When Calina sank back into the tall grasses with a sigh, Kallindo turned to read her expression. A few moments later she began to speak, seeming as she did so to be addressing herself to the lazy-floating clouds overhead.

"I do not want you to think that I only ever took interest in you because some silly flight of fancy seized me the moment we met. That is… I suppose a fancy did take me – you must have thought my boldness terribly odd – but it wasn't of the sort that you read about in maudlin tales."

Calina took a deep breath before she continued.

"The first thing I ever truly noticed about you was your sadness. You haven't seemed so sad since; perhaps it was simply the day or the hour or a particular mood. But I still noticed it. I didn't notice your strength or your beauty; I didn't miraculously see into your soul; I didn't feel like _swooning_." She bit off the last word with distaste. "I just thought… well, I didn't think about love. I want you to know that I never had _designs_ on you. You were my friend first. Truly."

Kallindo digested her words before shifting his position so that he could face her directly. "I know that, Calina. I have never doubted your plain-dealing honesty. And you have been a very good friend – a tonic for my spirit. I am glad for every moment I have been blessed with your company."

Calina looked rather humbled and self-conscious as she met Kallindo's gaze. He answered the unspoken question: "I am perfectly sincere. And it makes the current situation even more painful. I wish I could save you from what is to come. It grieves me to know that the friendship which has done me so much good will end with bringing you pain."

Calina's lip curled in disgust and she turned away from Kallindo, sitting up abruptly. "Why does it have to end? Why does my father insist upon this pain? If he had not told you my secret than we could have gone on as we have done. Would that have been so terrible? Friendship is one of the sweetest things – I would have been happy to be your dear friend."

"But you merit so much more than that," Kallindo spoke softly, watching as Calina's back tensed with reflexive indignation. He knew it was a hard thing to be told from all sides that the thing one wanted most sincerely was better withheld because it was not, upon _rational consideration_, as desirable as one thought.

Several heavy moments hung between the pair before Kallindo reluctantly decided to use Calina's own words against her. "Isn't it your theory that elves have more choice in love than they believe? You have lectured me yourself on my passivity; you have railed against the generalization that an elf only loves once, and that if his first true love does not come to fruition he is bereft. Your spirit is strong Calina. You can draw from that strength. You can find a better life for yourself; find a life-mate who will be able to give you what you deserve without–"

"And what about what you deserve?" Calina spoke with calm precision. She turned to face Kallindo once more and laid a tentative hand on his cheek. "Haven't your years of kindness, humble service, and patience earned you anything? How can I rebuild my heart and move on when I know that, somewhere on this earth, you are still so alone."

Kallindo couldn't move beneath Calina's steady gaze. His breath was shallow and he struggled not to break his word. Soronhín had faith in his judgment: he must not be tempted to soothe Calina's wounds with pity, or even with compassion, kindness, and gratitude. She would discover how hollow his remedy was in the end. No, he must carry out his intent.

Taking her hand gently away from his face, Kallindo gave it a gentle squeeze. "There are many in this world who still have a care of me. I will not be alone, do not fear."

Calina's eyes pleaded with him. "But they do not love you as I do."

Kallindo could not meet that declaration with a quick word or gesture. He looked away from her and swallowed past the thickness in his throat. It was a bitter task that lay before him. "No they do not," he finally acquiesced, squeezing her hand one more time before letting go of it. "But I have their love all the same, and it is enough… I must go now, Calina."

To Kallindo's surprise, the maiden made no more protests. But he found the blank expression that descended upon her features to be far more distressing. With an apprehensive heart, he stood up and called to his horse, which was lazily munching grass nearby. With stiff movements, Kallindo secured his bags onto the animal's back and smoothed the hair of its mane as he considered how to say good-bye.

Calina touched Kallindo's arm gently and he turned to her. Reaching into a pocket of the plain dress she wore, Calina pulled out a piece a glass. It took only a moment for Kallindo to recognize its identity: it was one of the locust thorns.

"Take this, please." Calina held out the slender piece of glass and Kallindo took it mechanically. "To remember me by, I suppose."

Kallindo rubbed his thumb along the cool surface of the glass thorn. "I do not need any token to remember you by, Calina Soronhíniell. But I will keep it well. _Namárië_"

Kallindo stood by his horse and watched for several minutes as Calina rode southward, and then took the east bend that led up through the hill pass. It was only when she had disappeared from sight that he turned his eyes back toward the river and once more took up his unexpected journey.

* * *

Soronhín had been watching at a northern window for over half an hour before he spied Calina coming home along the path from the town. Danneniûl had sat with him while he watched. Her feelings may have been torn on the matter at hand, but she knew her husband well enough to see the weight of anxiety and responsibility that he carried. She knew how he tried to do right by all his children, and hoped that his actions would come out right in the end, for the sake of everyone involved.

When Soronhín announced that their daughter was coming, Danniûl rose from her seat, came over to the window, and promptly announced that he should go to meet Calina on the path. Something about the picture of her daughter, riding with head bent, sent an alarm through her spirit.

"Go," she whispered. "She needs you now."

Soronhín did not need further urging. Without a word he ran from the house and hurried down their hill to the beach below. Calina had been riding very slowly; he was over halfway to the village before they met.

The horse stopped as Soronhín stepped in front of it and rested his hand against its neck. Calina did not meet his gaze. Her jaw was clenched in a hard line; her fingers tangled desperately in her mare's mane. Soronhín's spirit sank as he noticed the pallor of her skin, and the almost imperceptible tremors that shook her body.

"Calina," he called gently.

She blinked but did not respond.

"Little one, please say something." Soronhín reached out and laid his large hand over her cold ones.

The memory of what happened next had the power to overwhelm Soronhín's senses for years to come. It was as if he witnessed his daughter shatter into innumerable pieces: violent, quick, startling. At the touch of his hand Calina's face crumpled, she fell against his chest, was pulled into his arms, and wept and wept. The suddness of it all left Soronhín quite unprepared. He couldn't get a firm grip on his daughter and so had to fumble her to the ground, where all he could do was hold her tightly as she wet his tunic with her hot tears.

It was many minutes before she could even speak. And then it was only to say: "I can feel him getting further and further away… It hurts, _atto_! It hurts so much…"

At that moment Soronhín was tempted to take Calina's mare and go fetch Kallindo himself. But instead, he scooped her up into his arms and slowly carried her home. Once there, he put her in his own bed, lay beside her with Danneniûl on the other side, and let her cry herself to sleep. He and his wife stayed with her for the rest of that afternoon, and on through the night.

* * *

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Soronhín: Q. "eagle child"

Danneniûl: S. "fallen embers"

Ránendë: Q. "moon pool"

Ehtúro: Q. "spear victor" 

Alassar: Q. "joy stone"

atar/atto: Q. "father/daddy"

amil/ammë: Q. "mother/mommy"


	12. Investigations

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

* * *

Chapter 12.) Investigations

* * *

"_And all have joined in one endeavour_

_To bury this poor Thorn for ever._"

William Wordsworth

* * *

December 1, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor

Recap: At the request of Soronhín, Kallindo has left Fanlítsë. It's been about four and a half months since the last chapter.

* * *

Ránendë put her glass of wine down absently and crept closer to where her sister was leaning on the balcony rail, looking out toward the restless sea. It was a gray day. The muted silver of Calina's hair mixed with the view of the leaden waters below and the misty air which swirled around the hills until it seemed as if she would at any moment slide into the picture and disappear. The thought sent a slow chill up Ránendë's spine.

As Ránendë watched, a youth from the village strode up the length of the balcony and handed Calina a steaming mug of wassail. Calina accepted it with a smile that, though it cheered the youth, did not bring any warmth to Ránendë. All throughout the house and grounds, guests that had come to help the Regent's family celebrate the first day of Hrívë"" danced, gamed, toasted, or sang. But Ránendë could not help but feel that, amidst the sounds of gaiety, Calina walked within her own world of silence. There was a stillness that clung to her; stillness wholy foreign to Calina's nature. But the worst of it was that no one else seemed to notice.

A joyful summons interrupted Ránendë's silent watch. Her husband was in need of a partner for the next round of alouette"" and she soon found herself seated by the fire, cards in hand, trying to make a passable attempt at concentrating on the game. Needless to say, her performance was less than brilliant. It was only through incredible luck, and a bit of Ehtúro's skill, that they managed to lose by just one hand. After the game, Ehtúro pulled Ránendë into a quiet corner and, with a sly grin, let his hands come to rest on her waist.

"And this from the lady who used to boast of her skill! Where were you today, dear wife? Not in the game, I'll wager."

Ránendë sighed tiredly. "I am worried about Calina. She is not well."

Ehtúro cocked a questioning eyebrow. "What has brought this mood upon you? I thought your sister was almost fully recovered. Why, she seems–"

"She seems all things comforting and convenient," Ránendë countered bitterly, "But I do not believe it is the truth. She is not herself."

"Well." Ehtúro let the word hang as he thought how best to follow it up. "These things do take time. Perhaps we have been overly optimistic and she is not altogether well. But at least she is in the process of healing."

Ránendë gazed on her husband with a bland eye. "Ehtúro, she was a sopping mess for two days – only two days, mind you – and then she got out of bed, took a walk on the beach, came home, and never let another tear fall or another sigh escape her lips. Over the past four months she has conducted herself as though she never cared for Kallindo at all."

"Perhaps her love was not true, as she deemed it."

"Nonsense!" A few nearby elves started at her outburst. Ránendë lowered her voice to a whisper as she continued: "I want my sister back, Ehtúro. All I have now is an apparition, with so many false smiles and brittle laughs. I would not be surprised if one morning she simply did not wake up. She has not mourned; she has not stopped loving; she has simply hidden her face. Perhaps she is trying to live up to her own standards: to not let herself be toyed with by fate. But whatever she is doing it is changing her into someone I do not recognize."

Ránendë's concern began to be mirrored in Ehtúro's own eyes. "Has your father done nothing?"

Ránendë sighed roughly. "He does not seem to notice, or will not allow himself to notice. He is letting himself accept her false display of contentment. Of course, he wishes it so much to be true. It is hard to see past wishes."

"What are you going to do?" Ehtúro asked his wife gravely.

"I mean to write to Kallindo, ask him to return."

Ehtúro tightened his grip on his wife's waist. "Wouldn't it be best to try and speak with Calina first – help her to begin her mourning. And are you sure it would be wise to cross your father? He is a wise man – surely he would send for Kallindo if he could not see any other way."

"Do you ask me not to do it?" Ránendë eyed her husband with a stoic expression.

Ehtúro let his forehead rest against Ránendë's. "Nay. But please, speak with your father about your fears. He should know of this."

It was some time later before Ránendë had a chance to speak with her father, who she found watching over the merriment in his courtyard. Unfortunately, just as Ránendë began to speak, Calina made an appearance among the dancers, looking quite frustratingly normal. Soronhín, though he took his eldest daughter's concerns very seriously, was obviously not going to be awoken to any immediate action. He promised to speak with Danneniûl on the matter and watch Calina more closely, but Ránendë could extract no further promises from him.

And so it seemed, that was that. Ránendë was still set on her own course of intervention, but she would be forced to take up the endeavor alone.

* * *

"No, Alassar, I've had enough." Kallindo waved away the proffered wine goblet.

"Come now – it is a celebration! Be merry!" Alassar pushed the goblet into his friend's hand before tumbling into a chair beside him.

Kallindo's tone became dry. "I am merry enough, thank you. And, unlike you, I will also be merry tomorrow morning when your head is splitting open and mine is blessedly intact. I will also have a double cause for merriment at the memory of the ways in which you will no doubt make a drunken fool of yourself before the night is over. Besides, if I get drunk, who will be left to drag you home?"

Alassar chuckled. "Do not give me that condescending look. You know I only get drunk on feast days."

"Yes," Kallindo smiled ruefully, "And always in the middle of a large crowd of witnesses, who will derive much pleasure form your misbegotten antics. So by all means, continue."

"I shall," Alassar agreed jovially. "And in order to do so I think I shall revisit that excellent barrel of ale. Shall I bring you a glass of blackberry cordial, m'lord? Would that suit you?"

Kallindo smirked at his friend's supercilious tone. "Why yes, actually, that would be very agreeable."

Alassar drunkenly hoisted himself from his chair and wandered off toward another chamber of the city's feasting hall, where the barrels were set up. As soon as he was out of Kallindo's sight his wobbling steps straightened and he paused to rethink this plan of attack.

Not only was Alassar not in the least bit drunk, but he was also not intending to be drunk at any time that evening. He had made this determination earlier in the day, knowing that his faculties would be required for a higher purpose. That purpose was to get Kallindo, himself, mightily tipsy; so tipsy, in fact, that the quiet elf would finally loosen his tongue and tell Alassar why, in the name of all things good, he had shown up on the doorstep four months ago with all his worldly possessions in hand.

Of course, Alassar had been more than willing to help his friend. It had been good to spend the past months with an elf whose roots went back, like his, to _Endórë_. But his curiosity could only be restrained so long. Kallindo had arrived on his stoop like a brooding cloud: tired, weary of mind, and close-lipped. After a few days in the city his mood had improved and he had undertaken to find some small employment to provide recompense for his food and shelter. But Alassar saw then, and could still see, that a weighty matter hung persistently about Kallindo's neck. When questioned, all Kallindo would ever say was that the story was not his to tell.

As Alassar leaned against the cool stone wall of a crowded passageway devising his next plan of action an elf walked by with a small cask on his shoulder. A devious grin spread across Alassar's face. Yes, that would do just the trick.

"Mahtan! Hold a moment. Is that what I think it is?"

The elf with the cask turned, a broad smile on his face. "You've a good nose for trouble, Alassar. Don't tell me you want to start on this so early."

Alassar caught up with the elf. "Nay, but I know someone who is in grave need of it, if you take my meaning."

In a few moments Mahtan found a place to set down the cask and spouted a small amount of the deceptively sweet, deceptively light spirits into an empty goblet. With hearty thanks, Alassar accepted the cup and went on his way to find Kallindo, making a small detour to hide the potent liqueur in a flood of blackberry cordial.

Once the process was begun, getting Kallindo drunk turned out to be quite an easy affair. After the first secret dose, Kallindo becamse amenable to almost anything Alassar put under his nose. Unfortunately, this inebriated state did not bring about the desired results. During the first few rounds of drink Kallindo merged flawlessly with the festal atmosphere, which in the immediate company was a mixture of slurred song and exaggerated story telling. But as the imbibing continued Kallindo grew gradually silent, morose, and glowering. Finally, after watching the goblet slip listlessly from Kallindo's hand as the elf slumped back in his chair, Alassar decided that his mission had been a failure.

"I'm sorry friend," he murmured as he pulled Kallindo to his feet, "I tried. Your secrets are safe. Let's go home."

Kallindo didn't put up any resistence; he was too preoccupied trying to remember the third stanza of a melancholy old ballad. However, Kallindo didn't help the journey either. His feet were clumsy and Alassar was barely halfway to his home before the weight of Kallindo leaning against him became a bit too much. Alassar, minstrel that he was, had never been an intimidating physical specimen, and Kallindo, though lean, was still marked by a warrior's strong, imposing frame.

They were inching past a small fishpond, surrounded by a bed of smooth, pale stones. Alassar lowered Kallindo down onto the stones as gently as he could. Kallindo laid flat on his back, feet in the road, finishing off the last strains on the finally remembered ballad. When he finished Alassar sat down wearily beside him.

"I see your wisdom now, my friend. Next time I'll do the drinking."

Several moments of silence past as Alassar let his body rest. He then turned to Kallindo, ready to make the last leg of the journay home. He paused. Kallindo had something in his hand that was attached, by a piece of twine, around his neck. He was holding it up to the light of the stars.

"What is that?"

"My thorn," Kallindo spoke softly, almost soberly. "My memory."

Alassar puzzled over the statement. "How can a thorn be your memory?"

Kallindo's head lolled to the side and he sighed. "It is my memory of her. I wouldn't want to lose it, so I keep it here." Kallindo tucked the thorn back under his tunic.

The words brought Alassar to full alertness. Unsure of what to ask next he stalled for time. "That's very sensible of you… you wouldn't want to lose it."

"No, I wouldn't," Kallindo agreed suddenly, as though it were a new idea to him, "I wouldn't, would I…"

"What would she do if you lost it?" Alassar probed.

Shrugging, Kallindo dug his fingers into the layer of stones beneath him. "She wouldn't know if I did. I won't see her again, Alassar. Perhaps never."

"But you would like to?" Alassar made a guess. "You would like to see her again?"

Kallindo frowned, looked at Alassar groggily. "I don't think I'm supposed to talk about this. Am I?"

"Tell me the lady's name and I'll tell you if you're allowed to talk about her."

Kallindo shrugged. "She made my thorn."

"Yes."

"Calina made my thorn."

Alassar fished into his memory. 'Ah yes, the Regent's daughter. Pretty little maiden at the masquerade.'

"Why won't you see Calina again?" he questioned aloud.

Kallindo sat up abruptly and turned to face the water. Then he lowered his spinning head into his hands. A raspy laugh clawed out of his throat. "Why would a beautiful, young she-elf fall in love with me?" He spread his hands out, questioning. His next words were barely a whisper: "I bring sorrow everywhere."

"She loves you?" Alassar exclaimed.

Kallindo nodded slowly, sadly.

"Why, that's wonderful!" Alassar grabbed Kallindo's near shoulder and turned him, so they faced one another. "Isn't that wonderful? I thought… didn't you want–"

"I can't love her!" Kallindo wailed, slumping against his friend's shoulder.

Alassar stilled. "Can't, or don't?"

Kallindo grew still as stone. "Are those the same?" he finally slurred against Alassar's shirtsleeve.

"No, my friend. They are most certainly not. How do you know you can't love her unless you try? And why wouldn't you try unless you don't love her?" Alassar frowned. That hadn't come out right. He hadn't drunk much that evening, but he felt that his mind wasn't in very good working order. However, Kallindo didn't seem to be scrutinizing the details of his logical analysis.

"I don't… I don't know?" Kallindo struggled to his feet and looked around as though he didn't know how he had arrived there. "I can't or I don't… I don't want to talk about this any more."

Kallindo's face had hardened. Alassar suddenly felt ashamed at the way he had toyed with his friend. Kallindo would be very displeased in the morning.

"Come on," he finally said, standing up. "Let's go home."

* * *

The stars had already revealed their glory and only a few guests remained, lingering over their farewells. Ránendë wove through the various chairs and tables set up inside, helping her father's few servants restore some meager order to the house. Most of the work would be left for the morrow, but some little could be done that night. Above the shifting of furniture and clink of empty glasses Ránendë heard Soronhín, Ehtúro, and some of the other elves, conversing in the courtyard as they dismantled the wine tables and corked up the barrels.

Walking aimlessly from the room, Ránendë almost bumped into Cora, who was carrying a handful of mugs. As a friend of Calina, Cora had been seen more and more frequently in the Regent's home and was almost an installation herself.

"Beg pardon," Cora laughed merrily as she held the mugs, many of which were still in various states of fulness, safely to her chest. "Did I spill any on you?"

"No, no. I'm sorry, I don't seem to be watching where I step."

"You must be tired, after helping your _amil_ prepare for the evening's festivities," Cora replied with a pretty little shrug. "It's no wonder your feet are getting away from you."

Ránendë offered the younger maiden a genial smile before moving past her down the hallway. But she had only taken a few steps when a thought struck her.

"Cora, would you speak with me a moment?"

Cora looked back over her shoulder, a curious expression settling down around her eyebrows. "Certainly. Let me just run these to the kitchen."

Ránendë nodded. "Please meet me in my room."

While Cora went off to the kitchens, Ránendë took the stairs up to the second floor of her old home, went to the rooms that were once hers, and waited. It was not many moments before Cora returned to her.

"What is it?" The she-elf questioned softly.

Ránendë sat down on the bed and gazed at her toes, thinking of how she would soon have to don shoes for the cooler weather. She was not quite sure where to begin, not knowing Cora very well herself.

"Have you noticed," she finally spoke, "anything curious about Calina's behavior?"

Cora looked long and hard at Ránendë before wrinkling up her nose in frusteration. "I couldn't say, really… We are, I suppose, speaking of her predictament?"

"Yes."

"Well, you know that I did not even know her for very long before all of this happened, so perhaps I am not the best judge…"

"Yes. Go on." Ránendë urged.

"It seems such an ominous things to say, but it's as if she doesn't even remember him. She never speaks of him, never seems to be thinking of him. Sometimes my scoundrel of a younger brother will mention Kallindo in some careless way – and of course, he does not know better since I haven't told him what happened – and I'll wince, thinking how terrible it must be for Calina to be reminded. But she never looks a hair out of place, doesn't look as though she even knows that she _should_ be uncomfortable."

Cora looked at Ránendë as though she was searching for some sort of confirmation. She continued softly, "But I have never known an elf who was grieving, so perhaps this isn't out of the ordinary."

Ránendë tugged at a lock of her golden hair impatiently. "_I_ do not think that Calina is well. And I am glad to know that I am not simply imagining things."

"You are worried for her?" Cora asked, distressed. "I do hope she will be alright. Is there anything I can do?"

Ránendë thought for a moment. "I do not think she will speak to me. She is trying to convince the whole family that she is well, I think. Could you talk to her? Try to get her to speak of Kallindo? I do not think she has allowed herself to mourn, and that can be very dangerous."

Cora nodded seriously. "I'll try."

A smile graced Ránendë's lips. "Thank you. It is good to know that I have an ally in this battle. Very well, then, if you discover anything could you tell me, please?"

Cora agreed and, after a brief moment of determined silence, the two she-elves went back downstairs filled with an air of camaraderie and purpose. They parted ways with a resolute handshake when Ehtúro came to collect his wife for the walk home.

"Are _atar_ and _amil_ in the yard?" Ránendë asked Ehtúro as he swung her cloak over her shoulders.

"Yes, they are bidding the last of the guests farewell. I believe Calina is with them also."

"Good. Then all I must do is find Falas to bid him good-bye."

Ehtúro smiled broadly. "I saw him dash toward his room with a new toy in hand: apparently someone thought it would be good to give your brother a dull-edged dagger to play warrior with."

Ránendë rolled her eyes heavenward. "The Valar preserve us."

In a few moments, the couple found themselves peaking surreptitiously around the frame of Falas' door, watching the re-enactment of a glorious battle. To Ránendë's surprise surprise, she found that Calina was not in the yard after all, but was obligingly taking on the role of the enemy: a wicked balrog. However, her role-playing was much less than satisfactory. Falas had scaled his bed and was, with a pillow for a shield, preparing himself to pounce on the vile beast below him when he paused, let his shield arm drop to his side, and plopped down on the bed in frustration.

"Calina!" he pouted.

Ránendë's breathing stilled as she took in her sister's state. Calina knelt near the bed with her profile to the doorway, a garish piece of red cloth draped over her shoulders for the purposes of the game. Again, Ránendë was struck by the disjoint between Calina and her surroundings: gray, muted stillness stubbornly opposing the blaze of red cloth and the warm lick of the hearth fire. The difference was made even more disturbing by Calina's listless pose and unseeing eyes; her gaze bored into the far wall, as though she was seeing, beyond it, some strange and desolate vision. For the second time that day, a chill feeling crept over Ránendë. She had never, in the four months of what she now deemed her sister's personal role-playing, seen Calina allow herself to slip away like that.

"Calina, are you playing or not?" Falas spoke again, tossing his pillow-shield aside.

As though it was done with great effort, Calina drew herself back from wherever she had been and gave Falas a tired smile. "I'm sorry, where were we?"

Falas gave Calina a brief reprise of the details up to that point.

"And I am to be the balrog?" Calina questioned.

Falas stared at his sister with a perplexed expression, as though he had had to repeat these directions several times already.

"Yes," he finally replied.

Exasperated, Falas punctuated the word with a kick of his leg and accidently upset a long-forgotton glass of apple juice that had been sitting near the bed. The juice sloshed its way into Calina's skirts. In a startling display of temper, Calina leapt to her feet and grabbed her brother by the shoulders.

"Falas! You know better than to keep food on the floor – look at my skirts! This is one of my best dresses! If it is ruined I'll make you work to pay for another one." Calina glared at Falas for another moment then, with a quick twist of her foot kicked the empty glass into the fire.

A tense moment past as Falas stared up, wide-eyed, into his sister's angry face. Ránendë stood, imobile, wishing she could see Calina's face from her position. She felt Ehtúro shift behind her uncertainly.

Then, as though a gust of wind had sifted through her, Calina shivered and dropped her hands from Falas' shoulders. She took a quick step back and with a soft cry hurried to the fire, trying clumsily to rescue the glass from the flames. Not thinking to retrieve the poker, which had been used previously as a spear in one of Falas' games, Calina burnt a finger and then collapsed, defeated, onto the hearthstone, breathing erratically.

Falas, still startled by his sister's reaction, approached Calina cautiously and laid a timid hand on her slumped shoulder.

"It's alright, Cali," he patted her shoulder, "I miss him too."

With a great shudder Calina pulled her brother into her arms as a flood of tears began their slow, silent march down her cheeks. She made no sound, simply rocked back and forth gently, stroking her brother's cropped, silver hair. Falas, sensing his sister's distress allowed himself to be coddled.

Ránendë and Ehtúro stood frozen in the shadows, unsure of whether they should withdraw or go in to comfort Calina. Their moment of indecision was suspended as they focused on Falas' soft whispers.

"You'll be alright, Calina. _Atto_ said you would be. And I won't mind it if you yell sometimes, if it makes you feel better."

Calina didn't respond; the rippling fire had snared her gaze and she was lost again.

"Calina?" Falas pulled back to look at Calina's face. "Calina?"

Calina started, blinked her eyes back into focus. "I'm sorry," she stumbled, "I'm sorry."

Ehtúro moved silently away from the door and, reluctantly, Ránendë followed him. In the dim light of the hallway the worry and anxiety which each felt flowed freely between them. Without words, they both moved toward the stairs, in search of Soronhín.

* * *

1. Hrívë: Quenya for winter; 72 days between modern 1 December and 10 February.

2. Alouette (4 players): a medieval card game, teams of two

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Ránendë: "moon pool"

Ehtúro: "spear victor"

Alassar: "joy stone"

Falas: "beach, shore"

Soronhín: Q. "eagle child"

Danneniûl: S. "fallen embers"

Endórë: Q. "Middle Earth"

atar/atto: "father/daddy"

amil/ammë: "mother/mommy"


	13. Confidences

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

* * *

Chapter 13.) Confidences

* * *

"_And something guiltily desired _

_Goes sometimes fluttering through their dream_"

Rainer Maria Rilke

* * *

December 2, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor

* * *

"May I come in?" Cora opened the door to Calina's room halfway and poked her head around it. Her friend was sitting on the window seat in the far wall, staring out at the churning sea. Winter's first cold breath had descended, unexpectedly early, the night before; a sharp wind battered at the hills.

Calina made a motion with her hand that Cora interpreted as a reluctant summons to enter. Cautiously, Cora slipped into the room and closed the door behind her. She knew that Calina had yet to come out of her room that day and was not likely to want any greater loss of privacy than was absolutely necessary. Twisting her fingers together, Cora sat down on the opposite end of the window seat, with her legs curled up beneath her.

"Have you been sent to ask more questions?" Calina murmured, her forehead resting against a windowpane. "I'm full of my own questions. I don't need anyone else's."

Cora looked out at the sea for a long moment. "I have not been _sent_. I finished helping _amil_wash the linens and so I came for a small visit. Your family is stirring about downstairs like a gaggle of nervous chickens. They said you would likely turn me away, but here I am, unscathed. And yes, I've come with a question - but only one question, if you please."

A tired smile tilted up the corners of Calina's mouth. She reached out a hand to lay on Cora's knee. "I have welcomed you rather rudely, I'm afraid. Forgive me. You do not deserve it."

Unlacing her fingers, Cora began to trace a meandering design in the condensation on the window. "It's alright. In fact, I'm almost relieved that you've finally stopped being so unerringly amiable. It is not natural for someone in your situation."

Calina sighed. "Ah yes: my situation. What shall be done about my situation?"

Cora smiled at the acerbic tone. "I imagine that would depend on how you answer my question."

"A tempting riddle. Alright… let us hear your question."

"Are you fading?"

Calina turned her head toward the silent room at her back then let her gaze return to the seascape. "No."

Cora reached out and turned Calina's face toward her. "Are you absolutely sure?"

A few moments passed as Calina obligingly let her friend reap what assurances she could from her eyes and expression. "I am not fading... only mourning."

Cora dropped her hand away from Calina's face, nodded slowly. "I believe you. Therefore, it only remains for me to try your patience with one more question: Is there anything I can do to help you?"

The set of Calina's mouth told the answer before her lips moved. "No, really there is nothing. I'm sorry. Time is what I need."

Cora gave a weak smile. "You have time."

"I know."

The two ladies sat with each other for some while after that, talking or simply sitting in comfortable silence. An hour past before Cora decided to take her leave. It was nearing the time for the evening meal.

"You really should go down to your family," she urged Calina. "They are very worried about you."

"I know... I will." Despite her acquiescence, Calina looked about the room disconsolately, as though she was not sure of where to begin. Calina eyed her sympathetically.

"Your family will not care if you come down in your dressing robe. But here - let me brush out your hair. That will be soothing, will it not?"

Calina, knowing that Cora needed to do something active, allowed herself to be led over to her vanity and fussed over for a few minutes. After that was done, the she-elves descended the stair and parted outside the entrance to the dining chamber.

When Calina's family, including Ránendë and Ehtúro, came to take their seats at the evening meal, everyone attempted to appear natural, serene, and uncurious. It was a rather trying atmosphere, and Calina's already diminished appetite lost even more ground as its mistress engaged in calculating to what degree she was strictly required to participate in the stilted conversation and what subjects would be safe to speak on.

Soronhín observed his youngest daughter closely. Her demeanor plainly showed how great her discomfort was. Casting a quick glance around his table he could also not help but notice that all souls present, even little Falas, seemed to be in a state of uneasiness. What to say, what not to say? Could this or that question be hazarded? Would Calina break down into tears at any moment?

He glared down at his plate. Were they not all, as her family, supposed to be Calina's greatest source of comfort in her time of mourning? Instead, they were only heaping awkwardness upon awkwardness. And this following on the heels of their great failure in letting the situation slip so far, in not being sensible to Calina's broken state in the first place. He laid the blame at his own doorstep. Ránendë at least had shown perception in suspecting that not all was well with her sister. Even Falas seemed to have done more good for his sister than her own father had.

Danneniûl's latest attempt at conversation had wilted pitifully, settling down somewhere between the platter of roasted partridge and the bowl of steamed turnips. Soronhín made a frustrated sound in his voice and stood up abruptly. Everyone at the table turned to look at him expectantly. As calmly as he could, Soronhín picked up half a loaf of bread and inserted a knife for safekeeping into its center. He then scooped up the small crock of butter and moved around to Calina's place at the table.

"Would you do me the honor?" Soronhín extended his elbow for his daughter to take.

Apprehensively, Calina stood up from her place at the table and took her father's arm. She was then drawn out of the room, down the hallway, and up two flights of stairs.

"_Atar_, what–"

"There is a room in this house that you have never seen, and I was waiting for the right moment to show it to you. Do your remember, when you were very little, our secret place, where I would take you when you were sad?"

Calina's look softened, "Of course I remember, _atto_."

"How could I move this family to a new house without making sure there was a place for you to go when you were sad? I would have shown you earlier, but then you seemed to be better..."

Soronhín paused in front of a narrow door in the attic. His voice had faltered.

"It's alright," Calina comforted him, "I didn't want you to know, I didn't want myself to know."

With a reluctant nod, Soronhín opened the door and let Calina through. She stood, bent over slightly, just in the doorway, speechless with memories. All the same favorite pillows and blankets, some of which were adorned with her first attempts at embroidery, had been piled up in the tiny nook, which was situated beneath a gable. She had spent many days curled up in just such a room as this, often with her father, who had told her stories or listened to her woes.

Soronhín stepped around his daughter, truly having to bend over to get inside the room. He set their small repast onto a little stool in the corner and then settled down into the soft nest of cushions, beckoning for Calina to join him.

Calina sniffed and blinked several times, trying to keep the tears from making an entrance as she curled up against her father, leaning her head on his shoulder as she used to do. Immediately, Soronhín began to tell her an old, beloved tale about a poor, simple potter who showed kindness to an injured rabbit, even when he was hungry and could have eaten it for supper. For his kindness, the rabbit (who turned out to be an Istar in disguise) rewarded the potter with a clay jar that was always filled with gold.

The story was Calina's undoing. After the first few words were spoken, the tears began to course down her cheeks and they did not stop until some time after the story was finished.

"I am sorry, little one," Soronhín whispered, stroking his daughter's beautiful hair after silence had reigned for some minutes. "So sorry. I should have seen this - should have known better."

Calina did not reply. Her throat was still too thick for words.

"I am no longer certain of my purpose," Soronhín continued. "If you ask me to call Kallindo back, I will."

A pregnant silence followed. Calina blinked away the last of the moisture from her eyes.

"No."

Soronhín leaned back to gaze more directly at his daughter's face. "Are you sure?"

Calina's face was twisted in confusion. "What would it accomplish? How could I face his pity? How could we ever be on easy terms again? It would be so contrived, so discomfiting. I do not think he would like it any more than I would, not now that he knows."

"Well, let us eat a little and think upon the matter. You have hardly eaten anything the whole day."

Calina smiled at her father's paternal manner. He broke the bread into several chunks and began buttering them, handing the first piece to Calina, who took it meekly. The two sat in comfortable silence while they ate the bread. The cry had been very good for Calina. She felt somewhat lighter, freer, more able to bear scrutinizing the situation.

"I have changed my mind," she finally broke the silence, chewing thoughtfully on her last morsel of bread.

Soronhín raised his eyebrows high. "You want Kallindo to come back."

Calina nodded. "But that is not all, and you will not like what I am to say next."

Soronhín pulled his daughter closer to him and rested his cheek against her hair. "Speak on, I am ready."

"I want to return to Lady Calamau. There is so much more I can learn from her, and it will give me something to occupy my mind... please."

This last word was in response to Soronhín's tensing muscles. He closed his eyes and took a long, slow breath.

"I will not deny you this. You shall return to your teacher, if you truly wish it."

"Thank you, _atar_. I do wish it."

* * *

"You are a wretched friend," Kallindo glared blearily at Alassar, his dry mouth forming the words awkardly. "But I am thirsty. If you would fetch me something cool and very unalcoholic it would go a long way toward securing my forgiveness."

Alassar, who had had his feet propped up near the fire, smiled sheepishly and bobbed his head, springing up and into action. Kallindo watched him leave the room with heavy eyes. In an attempt to escape the harsh throbbing in his head, Kallindo had spent most of the day sleeping or trying to sleep. The windows had all been kept shuttered, to spare his eyes, and even the fire had a screen angled in front of it. Kallindo felt like a miserable, cave-dwelling, sodden mess and was sure he didn't look any better.

Alassar soon returned with a glass of water in one hand and a small bowl of raisins in the other. Kallindo eyed the raisins for a moment and thought that, perhaps, they would be inocuous enough to eat. Maybe he could even work his way up to a very little serving of porridge.

After the water was drunk and a few of the raisins tasted, Kallindo stood up and stetched out his long legs. His body was as stiff as he could remember it ever being; several turns around the room were not nearly enough to set everything to rights. Still feeling exhausted, Kallindo rested his head against the nearest wall and groaned softly.

"I am sorry," Alassar murmured dejectedly. "It was a foolish thing to do."

Kallindo rubbed a hand across his face. "What on earth were you thinking? I don't understand you, my friend. I believe sometimes you can be quite mad."

Alassar pulled a comfortable chair a little further away from the warmth of the fire and motioned Kallindo to sit back down. Kallindo took the seat and slouched down into it, letting his feet sprawl out before him.

"Not so much mad," Alassar replied, adjusting the fire screen's angle to suit Kallindo's new position, "as determined."

Kallindo grunted. "Determined to do what exactly?"

"Loosen your tongue."

Kallindo stiffened, looked up at his friend with creased brow. "What did I say last night?"

"Not bloody much… but enough to give me pause."

"What did I say." It was a command.

Alassar sat down heavily in a chair across from Kallindo. "That Calina Soronhíniell is in love with you and that she gave you a glass thorn to remember her by. Though why she would choose such a token I cannot say."

Kallindo moaned and covered his face with his hands. "This was very ill done, Alassar. I should never have spoken those things."

Alassar sat forward in his chair. "Why not? You are obviously weighed down by these matters. Why not speak of them? I know you think little of my intellect at the moment, but perhaps I can help."

"It is not mine to tell!" Kallindo lashed out moodily. "I should not have let her trouble slip past my lips, and I cannot sit here and bandy words about her while she is suffering because of me."

"Because you left her?"

"Because I let her fall in love with me."

"Pardon my frankness," Alassar prefaced himself, "but how could you have stopped it from happening? What? Should you have cloistered yourself away from the entire unattached, female population?"

"I… don't know. I should have done something."

"I'm still confused as to why this occurrence has heaped so much distress upon your head," Alassar admitted. "Most elves your age have been married for centuries, even millennia. Of course, you've had a crippling setback in your pursuit of love, but you cannot deny the fact that, for the past decade or so, you have pined once more for a mate. Which is, I dare to avow, a perfectly natural desire! And now – despite your feelings of inadequacy, your wounds, and your stubborn reluctance to actively pursue the society of females – a charming, lively, well-bred young lady, who you happen to regard highly, has fallen conveniently into your lap. Why ever did you drag yourself and all your worldly possessions to my doorstep when you should have been in Fanlítsë exerting the very small effort required to secure her hand? It simply does not make sense!"

Kallindo stood up abruptly and turned away from the fire. "You take a very blithe view of matimony."

Alassar shrugged. "You are of the very bent of nature that seems so suited to conjugal bliss: chivalrous, fiercely loyal, fair-minded, kind. Perhaps a bit too self-deprecating and without ambition, but these can be got over. To my mind it would be a travesty if you were never to be married, never to be a husband or father. And the lady, as you say, is willing."

"What if _I_ am not willing?"

Alassar eyed his friend askance. "I think I know you well enough to give an answer to that question, but let us instead call upon one of your other admirable qualities: honesty. Does the thought of taking Calina to wife please you?"

Without a word, Kallindo stalked from the room. Alassar waited patiently by the fire for some time. A horn, blasting from the tower in the center of the city, pierced the silence of the room to herald the coming of the evening hours. Not many moments later, Kallindo walked back into the room, stared ruefully at Alassar's back, and then walked by his friend to take up his seat once more. Restless, he leaned forward and removed the screen from in front of the fire.

"I don't know."

Alassar did not respond, feeling that there was more to come.

"Or... if I do want her, it is not for the right reasons."

"What do you mean?"

Kallindo laughed bitterly and stood once more, resting his hand against the plain mantel over the fire. "I offered to marry her, Alassar. Soronhín told me of her love and I offered to marry her. I spoke to him about my respect for his family and for Calina, of my willingness to do whatever was asked of me. He looked at me like I was some grand, heroic being: so selfless, so sacrificing." Kallindo's voice was grim, sarcastic. "Do you know why I really offered for her? Oh, everything I said was true enough, but it was a partial truth. Do you know the answer, Alassar? Do you know me well enough to see that far into my heart?"

Kallindo pinned Alassar down with a fierce gaze. "I did it because Calina is soft and beautiful, witty and full of life, young and very, very _tempting_. When you stand close to her you can smell lilacs in her silver hair, feel the warmth of her skin. When you _become_ close to her you discover that she has more secret smiles and pert ideas than a pomegranate has seeds. She is captivating, Alassar. Of course, I never entertained these thoughts while I was ignorant of Calina's feelings - the idea was too impossible to be entertained, I suppose. But when I heard of her love, my wild imagination leapt ahead of both my heart and mind: What a gift! I thought. The valar have chosen to give me this gift!"

Kallindo's words were broken off as he dropped back into his chair, covering his face with his hands.

"I do not understand," Alassar murmured carefully, "where lies the problem?"

"She is her own soul, Alassar! She is not some fine glass sculpture, left waiting on my doorstep. As a friend, I care for her truly. But if it may be said that I desire her, beyond friendship, it must also be admitted that I want her as a young child wants a holiday treat or a soothing song. I want her for what she could bring to my life, not because of what I could bring to hers. I know very well that I can bring little. She deserves the truest love from a whole heart. I care for her, I pity her, I desire her - but none of this is compensation enough for what she would give me. How could I face waking up beside her every morning? How coul I face myself? Knowing that I used her love to patch up my own inadequacies, as you call them."

The fire cracked, Alassar drew his eyes away from the flames. "I said that you feel inadequate, not that you are inadequate." A few sparks flew up as a small log disintegrated. Kallindo shifted uncomfortably in his chair; his head had started to ache again.

Alassar got up slowly from his seat and leaned over Kallindo, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You speak with such warmth, even I, who know your troubles, find it difficult to believe that your heart is not whole. Think well before you allow your own false humility to condemn the lady to sorrows which you yourself have suffered."

Letting the words fall where they would, Alassar departed. Kallindo remained before the fire, amid the mad whirlwind of his thoughts, as the hours crept on into the night. Only a few dying embers remained to light the chamber when, weary in both heart and body, Kallindo finally slipped away from his troubles, head lolling against the back of the chair in sleep.

* * *

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Cora: "encircle" 

Soronhín: Q. "eagle child"

Alassar: "joy stone" 

Ránendë: "moon pool"

Ehtúro: "spear victor"

Falas: "beach, shore" 

Danneniûl: S. "fallen embers"

atar/atto: "father/daddy"

amil/ammë: "mother/mommy"


	14. On the Brink

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

**A/N**: Remember that I do not claim to know anything very particular about the geopgraphy or borders of Valinor. I've made up another city, another town, and the name of the province is made up.

Enjoy…

* * *

Chapter 14.) On the Brink

* * *

_"But I, being poor, have only my dreams;  
I have spread my dreams under your feet_" 

William Butler Yeats

* * *

December 5, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor 

Recap: Three days since the last chapter. In an attempt to overcome her sorrow, Calina has chosen to return to her apprenticeship with the glass artisan Lady Calamau. Meanwhile, Kallindo has been giving much thought to his present trouble…

* * *

Kallindo walked down the cool hallway toward the warm light of the kitchen, but he did not enter it. Leaning instead against the frame of the door, he watched as Alassar – who sat at the table, surrounded by various waxes, oils, and rags – expertly re-strung the viol"" cradled in his lap. It was a beautiful instrument; it would make a fine addition to Alassar's steadily growing collection.

Alassar finished with the last string and set the viol lovingly onto a swatch of velvet on the table.

"Welcome. I'm glad you have returned."

Kallindo nodded his acknowledgment of the greeting. Two mornings before, his head full of many tangled thoughts, Kallindo had left the city. He had gone before sunrise, leaving Alassar with no word of his departure, or any clue as to when he would return. His feet had taken the Middle Road southward, and by the afternoon of the first day he had found himself in Calina's small cave, which she had shown him that summer. The crispness of the wintry stone and the hum of the waves below had seemed to clear his mind, but there were still questions that were, as yet, unanswered.

"I'm sorry," Kallindo finally spoke, entering the kitchen and taking a seat opposite Alassar.

"I'll forgive you, I suppose," Alassar murmured with a half-smile.

The two friends stared at one another, then at the table. Kallindo cleared his throat and leaned forward onto his folded arms.

"I've made a rather horrendous mess of things, haven't I?"

Alassar's brow rose. "Considering the circumstances, I would say you've acquitted yourself remarkably well."

"What?" Kallindo's own brow made an ascent. "You've decided I wasn't such a great fool after all?"

Alassar grinned. "Oh, a fool undoubtedly! But it takes uncommon greatest not to play the fool at whiles throughout ones life. And I'd wager that your bout has all but run its course. It's only those who never realize they were foolish to begin with that are the true fools."

"That's comforting, I suppose," Kallindo replied dryly.

Standing up, Alassar gathered his supplies from the table and packed them away in a leather satchel. Then, slinging the pack over his shoulder and picking up the viol with tender care, he went to put the newly acquired instrument in its place among his other treasures in the upper room. Kallindo waited in the kitchen.

When Alassar returned he sat down across from Kallindo, placed his folded hands on the table before him, and gazed at his friend with a serious air.

"What did you discover while you were away?"

Kallindo screwed his lips up and then relaxed them; brought his hands up on the table and drummed unconsciously with his fingers on the worn wood.

"I think… no – I know… that is… I want to…" Kallindo looked up distractedly and saw how much amusement Alassar was drawing from his current performance. "Oh, hang it all!" he cried, letting his face fall into his hands

Alassar laughed freely as he reached across the table to pull his friend's hand away from his face.

"Forgive me. It must be a revelation of vast proportions to give you so much trouble in the telling of it." Alassar suppressed his mirth. "I will be perfectly serious; come, speak. It will not seem so terrible once you have given voice to it."

Kallindo raised his head and looked morosely at his friend. A moment past before he corrected his posture, straightened his tunic restlessly, and gave a curt nod toward the beckoning hand of Fate. He took a deep breath, then another. Alassar waited with great expectation.

"If I were to address… only my own wishes and happiness… I would marry Calina."

A heavy silence followed this declaration. Alassar watched in wonder as his friend's expression shifted between softness and grim uncertainty.

"I do not wish… to forever live as I have lived. I long to share myself with someone, and as I dwell on thoughts of her, I find more and more that she is someone who I _want_ to share myself with, as I had begun to do through our friendship. She would make me very happy, I think. And if she were my wife, I would try my utmost to make her so. But…"

"Yes," Alassar prompted gently.

"I still do not think that my offer would be as it ought to be." Kallindo paused and searched the far wall of the room, waiting for the right words to present themselves.

"How can I ask for her hand – ask for her life, eternal – without being able to say that I love her? When last we spoke, you implied that my regard for her was warmer than I would admit. But whether I love her now, or could grow to love her as she deserves… it all seems quite damning, really."

Alassar cocked his head in confusion. Kallindo gathered himself for yet another explanation.

"I thought I loved once. If I did indeed love Oloriel, but I come to love Calina, then what constancy do I have? If I did not, in fact, love Oloriel, but was utterly convinced that I did, then what perception do I have of my own heart? What faith can I place in my own judgement? – None."

Alassar leaned heavily on the table, tracing the rough grain of the wood with his eyes. The answer seemed plain to him and yet it was hard to express in a plain manner.

"We elves," he began slowly, "are steeped in the idea that a love which seeks the bond of marriage is as unique an experience as the bond of marriage itself. And much of our history tends to support that claim. Yet, is it not the great rule of those who delight in measurements, and reasoning, and proofs that the truth of a claim cannot be ascertained simply by looking at many examples, but that there must be an indisputable progression, from one piece of wisdom to the next?"

Alassar's reasoning did not seem to make a great impression upon Kallindo, but he continued to press forward. "Love comes in so many different forms and ways; I do not think that the presence of one would exclude another… To experience a binding love twice in a lifetime is rare, but you yourself know it is not completely unheard of."

Leaning back, Alassar pushed a hand through his hair, reaching for words. "Is it… Do you doubt yourself because you believe that if your first love faded, than any other love might be as unstable?"

This last question penetrated Kallindo's thoughts and he mulled over his answer for a few moments. "In a way… yes," he replied softly.

This answer gave Alassar a small bit of firm ground to work from: "But your love for Oloriel did not fade – you consciously put it aside, did you not? To spare her?"

Kallindo looked up quickly. "How do you know this?"

Alassar smiled faintly. "You _were_ very much in love with her… I remember. But you did not fade. It was beyond my expectations, and that of many others. You have a very strong heart – it is capable of miraculous things, I think." Alassar's face brightened as he warmed to his theme: "Do not fret yourself that it is somehow defective. To discover love once more would not be a damnation, it would be a triumph!"

This declaration gave Kallindo great pause. It was a new way of looking at the world, and provided a much more hopeful aspect.

"I do not think I deserve such praise," he finally murmured, haltingly, "But I thank you."

Alassar waved aside Kallindo's gratitude, glad that he seemed to have pushed his friend's mind in a more helpful direction. "I think that is enough on that trying subject for now. You have not broken your fast, have you?"

Kallindo realized then that he was hungry, and so Alassar hunted up the leftovers from his own breakfast, earlier that morning. After securing the provisions, it was agreed that some fresh, though cold, air would be preferable to the enclosed warmth of the kitchen. Donning thick cloaks, the pair headed for the small balcony on the upper floor, ready to brave the cold morning.

Alassar's home was actually only a small portion of a much larger house, which surrounded a courtyard. Alassar's balcony over-looked this courtyard. The youngest member of the family which owned the house, a cheerful youth straining toward his majority, was busy drawing water from the well below when they stepped outside. Greetings were exchanged all around before Kallindo settled himself down to eat his breakfast. The small meal was over, and the two elves were lounging quietly, wrapped up in their cloaks, before Alassar chose to breach the subject of their previous discourse once more.

"What are you going to do, at present?"

Kallindo loosened his cloak and leaned forward in his chair, elbows on knees. "I am uncertain. I do not feel as though I can simply walk back into Calina's life. If she were truly in danger I would not hesitate, but I believe I would have heard tell of it if she was. And if she has already begun to put this behind her, who I am to come barging in with my own expectations? I would like to start from the beginning, perhaps have a chance to court her properly, though I'm afraid my skills in that area are rather meager. But I simply do not see where to begin. Does she even desire my intervention? I do not want to press her into a hasty decision."

Alassar considered the dilemma. "Is there anyone you would trust to give you an honest account of Calina's state of mind? If you are set against travelling to Fanlítsë, perhaps you could write. The letters from the south should be arriving today or tomorrow, and carriers will be sent southward again soon after."

"Is there anyone I could trust?" Kallindo questioned the air softly. "Is there anyone who would give a plain answer? I trust Soronhín implicitly, but on this matter I cannot approach him. And I would not want to put Danneniûl in an awkward situation between her own husband and myself… Perhaps Ránendë: she has a quick wit, and a very steady head. She might do. But I do not know how much she has been told."

Alassar rose to go inside. "Be subtle, if you must, but please do something. If you bottle yourself up again I'm afraid that one day you'll wander off into the wilderness again and not come home for a few moons at least!"

Kallindo smiled and promised faithfully that, before the sun set, he _would_ do something. With this assurance, Alassar departed to earn some coin giving lessons on the harp to a few elflings that lived in the city.

It was almost noon by the time Alassar returned. A large smile was on his face as he tripped lightly across the threshold of the house. He enjoyed teaching the little ones, he was optimistic about the conclusion of his friend's troubles, and the journey homeward had provided him with a chance to excahnge a few words with a lovely little maiden who had captured his attention recently. The day was turning out quite well. And, to add to the pleasantries, Alassar had, in the pocket of his cloak, a letter addressed to his friend, which came from Fanlítsë. He hoped it would contain something to either cheer Kallindo's spirits or spur him onward to even more daring actions than he had hitherto considered.

"Kallindo, are you here?" Alassar called out as he divested himself of his cloak and retrieved the latter. A muffled affirmative came from up the stairs.

Alassar took the steps two at a time and soon found Kallindo sitting at his desk, with a blank sheet of paper before him.

Kallindo smiled wanly. "A very short while after you left, Náriël begged my help her carry some potted bulbs over to her brother's house. She then found it necessary to vent all her newly acquired gossip upon me over several cups of tea. I am only recently returned. And yet… I have been sitting over this arduous letter for at least five minutes," Kallindo tapped the paper with the feathered end of his quill, "As you see, I have not even been able to decide upon the salutation."

"Well then, put it aside and let her brain stew on it a moment. Perhaps this will give you some food for thought."

Alassar handed the letter over and went to put his harp away. Kallindo took the missive and flipped it over to look at the seal. Recognition of the sender sent a jolt through his entire frame. Of course, Alassar would not have been familiar with it; otherwise, he might not have delivered it in such a blithe manner.

With great trepidation, Kallindo broke the seal and read the contents of the letter. It was short and to the point. After a brief greeting Soronhín informed Kallindo that he was free to return to Fanlítsë. An invitation was also extended for Kallindo to dine with the Regent and his family at the earliest convenience, at which time, Soronhín hoped he could atone for the startling nature of their last encounter.

Kallindo stood up quickly and hurried to gather his things together. Hearing the commotion, Alassar found his friend in the spare room, packing, and questioned him anxiously, as to whether the letter had contained ill news.

"I am summoned back to Fanlítsë," Kallindo answered him, as he brushed by Alassar and made for the stairwell.

"For what purpose?" Alassar askes, hurrying after him.

"Soronhín says I may come home. I do not know what has happened, but do not doubt that it somehow concerns Calina." Kallindo paused at the doorway to the street and turned back to his friend. "Alassar…" His faced betrayed his anxiety as he laid a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I know, do not distress yourself. I am certain that all will be well. Truly it will. May Eru"" himself watch over journey." Kallindo was already out of the door and well on his way when Alassar called after him: "Your horse is still stabled with Séregon!"

Kallindo turned even while his feet continued moving him down the street. "Yes, thank you. Thank you, Alassar."

Alassar watched at the doorway until his friend had disappeared between the houses of stone. Then, with a quizzical expression, he lifted his eyes in quiet supplication and turned back into his house.

* * *

Danneniûl had hardly put a foot across her threshold before Soronhín came to meet her, questioning her silently as he divested her of her winter cloak and took her cool hands into his own large, warm ones. Danneniûl graced her husband with an affectionate smile, but slowly withdrew her hands to bend over and take off her boots. 

"No, no," Soronhín chided softly, leading his wife gently, though inexorably, toward a cozy room down the wide hallway. He put aside the curiosity and unease that had been building in him all that afternoon, and focused for a few moments on pampering his wife. He sat her down by the fire and put a thick wrap around her shoulders, filled a mug of hot cider for her from a pot that hung simmering over the flames, and then knelt before her to remove her boots.

Danneniûl laughed gaily at the last touch and leant to place a kiss on the top of Soronhín's head. "Thank you, my heart. It _is_ bitterly cold outside, and the wind blows something terrible, but I am sure that this will soon revive me."

Soronhín smiled up at his wife. The boots dealt with, he settled himself at her feet, back resting against the base of the low couch which Danneniûl sat upon. She reached out and smoothed his silver hair.

"What was troubling you?"

"You were not here when I came home."

Danneniûl smiled softly. "I had to attend to a small dispute in Maivellë while you were gone. A rather spirited horse broke himself out of his fence and did some damage around the town. Some were afraid that the snow coming would hide all of the evidence for some time and they were not willing to be patient."

Soronhín nodded softly. "Did they accept your judgement?"

"They did," Danneniûl replied simply.

"I am glad you are home now," Soronhín said some moments later. "The house was very quiet."

"Falas is spending the night with Hravan and his family."

"I know. But it is strange to not have any of the children in the house."

Danneniûl hesitated before turning the conversation toward she whom they were both thinking of. "Do you think she will be alright?"

Soronhín turned himself so that he could comfortably rest his head against his wife's knee. He closed his eyes as she took up stroking his hair.

"I do not know," he finally breathed. "I cannot tell what the end of this will be. I am frightened for her."

Danneniûl stared bleakly into the fire, her heart heavy with sorrow for her suffering child.

"What has happened?"

Soronhín and Danneniûl both started at the unexpected interruption of their solitude.

"Kallindo!" The name leapt from Soronhín's lips as he stood to greet his friend. "So soon you have come. Come in, come in."

Kallindo stepped further into the room but did not remove his cloak or take a seat. "What has happened? Why did you call me back?"

Soronhín was puzzled by the urgency in Kallindo's voice, but he knew that the elf did care for his daughter, and was doubtless very curious about the unexpected summons.

"Please, Kallindo, sit. I shall answer all your questions."

Taking a chair mechanically, Kallindo leaned forward with an expectant air. "Where is Calina?"

"She is gone. She left this morning to return to Lady Calamau."

Kallindo stilled, leaned back into the chair somewhat, a little deflated. "She is alright?"

Soronhín and Danneniûl could not help but reveal their discomfort at the question. Kallindo easily understood the quick look that passed between them.

"Is she alright?"

Danneniûl gave a non-commital shake of her head. "She is not fading, but she is… not herself."

Soronhín interjected before Kallindo could reply. "She asked me to allow you to return home. It has always been very important to her that you should not be driven from this place. She has gone away, and hopes to distract herself with her craft.

"That will do little good," Kallindo replied wryly, thinking back to his own days of mourning.

"What would you have us do?" Soronhín questioned tightly, his frusteration, anxiety, and remorse seeping out in bitterness. "I could not deny her."

Kallindo captured Soronhín's gaze and the two elves stood motionless, tussling over unspoken words.

_What would you have _me _do?_, Kallindo's eyes seemed to say.

Soronhín's mind was riddled with doubt and worry. He couldn't seem to help his daughter and felt mired down in his own powerlessness.

_I do not know!_ Soronhín turned quickly and left the room, afraid of doing more damage by trying to meddle with the situation, and equally afraid of his ever increasing desire to meddle.

Kallindo did not pay heed to his friend's departure. He turned back to Danneniûl and asked of her the same question: "What would you have me do? I know the pain and the doubt and the numbness of time that Calina will endure. What would you have of me?

Danneniûl searched Kallindo's face for several minutes. Her voice was dry in her throat when she finally spoke: "Can you love my daughter?"

The pounding of Kallindo's heart was thick in his ears as he replied steadily: "I will try… I would do anything..."

Rising hastly, Danneniûl stepped up to Kallindo and held his face in her hands, cutting off his words as she pulled his head down to place a kiss on his brow. "Bring her back to me if you can. Bring her home."

Kallindo nodded dazedly. He could not find any words to speak.

"Go," Danneniûl whispered into his ear, "She needs you now."

Kallindo's horse was splashing back across through the icy water of the Ford before Kallindo himself was quite aware of where he was and how he had arrived there. His horse's coat was flecked with sweat. In his carelessness, Kallindo had ridden quite hard, not sparing his mount. Now that he had regained his senses, Kallindo knew that he must pace his journey.

Coming at a walk to the branch in the road, Kallindo turned his horse to follow the way that ran parellel to the mountains. The other path, which veered off in a westerly direction, led toward Alassar's city. The one he now took led through several smaller towns and then onward toward Tármírë, the principal city of the province of Eccaianórië.

As he urged his horse into a trot, Kallindo calculated that, if he rode diligently and did not tarry long to rest, he had a small chance of reaching Calina before she made it to the city. He hoped that he would indeed overtake her berfore Tármírë, as a city-full of elves would make it difficult to meet with Calina alone. He still was not exactly certain how such an interview would proceed, but for the first time in months he felt easy with not knowing. Something would come to him… something _had_ to come to him. There was no turning back.

* * *

A few miles back, the road had been transformed from a well-trodden dirt path into an even, stone-paved avenue, flanked by trees that in the spring were no doubt ladened with blossoms. But the trees were bare now, stark against the pale colors of the winter sunset. The wind had whipped itself into a hurried dance earlier that afternoon and at whiles fat, overly hasty snowflakes twirled recklessly down in its grasp. 

Calina knew that she was not far from the city, but she felt dull and weary. And the cold was not nearly so daunting to her as the thought of passing through the gates and being forced to speak and to explain and to pretend to listen. Bringing her horse to a halt, Calina slipped down and led the way toward a particularly gnarled old tree. On impulse, she climbed into the low, fat branches, and curled up against the bole of the tree.

'Just a few minutes,' she promised herself. A few minutes to let her limbs and eyes and heart rest.

It was some while later when Calina began to discern the clop of hoof on stone. But her mind was caught halfway between worlds and she paid the sound no heed. It was only when a hand touched her brow, sweeping her hair away from her face, that her perceptions came into focus.

A startled gasp escaped Calina's throat and no word or sound would follow it. A hand was extended to her, but she could neither refuse it nor take it. No thought or gesture seemed appropriate to the agonozing moment.

The elf before her gazed at her with worry, beckoned her to come down, then finally slid an arm around her back to take her from the tree's embrace. When her feet touched the ground Calina finally remembered how to move. Stumbling away from the elf, Calina leaned against the trunk of a neighboring tree, then slid down to rest at its base.

"Kallindo?"

Kallindo knelt down before her, saying something inconsequential about how cold she was. She squeezed her eyes shut.

"What are you doing here?"

Kallindo took off his own cloak and covered her with it. "I've come to take you home."

Calina shrugged the extra cloak away, tried to give it back to him. "I am not going back to my father's house. I am going to the city, to Lady Calamau. I cannot go back to Fanlítsë."

To Kallindo it seemed as though the whole world held its breath as he stood upon the brink. Dare he make his declaration? Was there enough courage in his whole being, scraped together and held fast in his good heart, to fill a few small words with such soul-deep intent?

"I do not speak of your father's house," he began, his voice shallow, faltering. "I speak of my home – _our_ home. Will you not let me take you home?"

A weary sob scraped out of Calina as she clambered away from him. "Do not speak these words! Do not give me more than what your true feelings dictate, I could not bear it, I do not want it. I promised myself that I would take as much as you would give me. So please, spare me… do not ask… do _not_ give me that!"

Kallindo followed Calina, dropped down beside her, and drew her into his arms, holding her fast. How could he explain to her what was inside of him? How could he make her believe that this was what he wanted, what he desired? It would take time, patience, and many reassurances. But he could not bear to leave Calina as she was for one moment longer than was necessary – it would have to begin now. Yes, it was right for him to do this thing. It would be right in the end.

"Will you be my wife?" he asked against her hair, even while her body strained away from him.

At the simple words, Calina collapsed in his arms and cried angrily, joyfully, burying her face against his chest and trying to bury the pounding of her own tangled heart.

"Yes," she whispered brokenly, "Yes, yes."

* * *

1. Here's a good picture of the type of viol I imagine Alassar might use: http/www.s-hamilton.k12.ia.us/antiqua/tviol.htm

2. Eru: "The One." The creator of the Valar… and, basically, everything else.

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Alassar: "joy stone" Soronhín: Q. "eagle child" 

Danneniûl: S. "fallen embers"

Falae: S. "beach, shore"

Hravan: "wild one"

Oiratinwë Calamau: Q. "eternal spark/light hands"

Eccaianórië: Q. "outer sea region"

Maivellë : Q. "little gull"

Tármírë: Q."lofty jewel"

atar/atto: "father/daddy"

amil/ammë: "mother/mommy"


	15. Why?

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

* * *

Chapter 15.) Why?

* * *

"_Nothing in the world is single; _

_All things by a law divine_

_In one spirit meet and mingle._

_Why not I with thine?"_

Percy Bysshe Shelley

* * *

December 8, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor 

Recap:

"_Will you be my wife?" he asked against her hair, even while her body strained away from him._

_At the simple words, Calina collapsed in his arms and cried angrily, joyfully, burying her face against his chest and trying to bury the pounding of her own tangled heart._

"_Yes," she whispered brokenly, "Yes, yes."_

_

* * *

_  
It was several minutes before Calina regained her composure, or at least as much of it as could be regained under such trying circumstances. However, as her tears abated, she began to realize that she would soon be without the protection which they afforded. When one was crying one was safe: from having to face the situation straight on; from having to maneuver around the awkwardness of the moment; from having to make the simplest of decisions – like how to unclench her fist from Kallindo's tunic without drawing attention to the fact that she was clinging to him. Calina was miserable in her own cowardice. She wanted to turn into one of the sandy little sea turtles and disappear into the ocean, or close herself up inside her shell. 

One by one, Calina began to deliberately relax the muscles in her body. She let several moments flow over her as she focused on the simple task of breathing, all the while trying to ignore the rise and fall of Kallindo's chest beneath her cheek. Lastly, after giving herself a short, stern lecture against timidity, Calina eased her eyes open and saw only darkness.

Sometime during her distress, though she could not remember when, Kallindo had pulled his cloak around the both of them, shielding her from the snow. The rough material now covered her immediate field of vision, and there was no way of catching even a glimpse beyond the warm darkness of the cloak without disturbing the present calm. Kallindo's arms still enfolded her, holding her firmly against him without allowing for any delicate means of retreat.

Stringing her courage together, Calina shifted, ever so slightly away from Kallindo. Immediately, his arms dropped from around her and the dim, cold light of a winter evening washed across her face. Calina looked to the side; the snow had begun to fall in a steady, though slow, stream. Large, delicate flakes caught in her mussed hair or spun down in lazy arcs to settle in her lap. She had the strangest longing to once more hide her face against Kallindo, but instead she pulled back slightly, raised her eyes, and met his anxious gaze.

She had never seen him look so unsettled. Sad and somber, yes, but never what could be termed nervous. It struck her then that he was as uncertain of how to proceed as she was. Yet it could not be for the same reasons. It was a bitter knowledge, but Calina would not deceive herself. Kallindo had just committed an astounding act of martyrdom, and was now probably reeling from what he had done. Calina felt ashamed for having accepted him. Hadn't she pushed and prodded him enough in their short acquaintance? Now she had, however unwillingly, guilted him into forging a bond with her!

"Kallindo," she rasped, drawing back so that she was kneeling in the thin layer of snow, "How…. no–"

"Sssh," Kallindo whispered softly, inching forward and raising both hands to smooth her hair away from her face. He could see the sudden blaze of obstinance and fear in her eyes, could feel her moving further and further away from him even while she knelt, quite still, in the snow.

"Why?" she finally asked, numbly.

"Because… I want this."

Calina's eyes widened with uncertainty, a sting of suspicion prickling across her skin. "Do not lie to me, Kallindo." Her voice was steady, hard, guarded.

Kallindo dropped his hands away from her face as from a flame: let them fall into his lap as though he were cradling an injury. "Have I ever lied to you?" he challenged.

It was a well-aimed question. Calina bowed her head in shame. "Of course you have not. Forgive me. But… I do not understand."

Kallindo looked around at the quickly falling night. This was not the best time or place to enter into an explanation – they would be there all night, shivering in the darkness.

"We cannot stay here any longer," Kallindo spoke cautiously. Calina raised her head –chin set in a stubborn line, lips yearning to speak. Kallindo smiled without thinking.

"Trust me," he urged, standing up and extending his hand toward her. After a brief hesitation, she laid her own, delicate white one in his.

For a moment, Kallindo forgot to draw her to her feet. Calina raised a fine, questioning eyebrow. Pulling her up, Kallindo settled the hood of Calina's cloak around her face and tucked in a few stray locks of hair.

"Trust me," he whispered, taking her hand once more and leading her to her horse.

Between the steady timbre of his voice, and the quick squeeze of his hand, Calina was inspired, at least to a certain extent, to do just that.

The pair entered Tármírë after the sun had disappeared below the horizon. With little conversation, they carefully wove there way along the cold, stone paths, toward the home of Lady Oiratinwë Calamau, hoping that someone would brave the cold nip of the air to receive them at the gate. After having rung the sturdy bell that hung over the gate from a delicate, arching metalwork, they waited. Kallindo stood a little way off with the horses. It was only a few moments before a lantern appeared in the gloom on the other side of the courtyard. Calina watched expectantly as the bobbing light wove its way toward her.

"Soronhíniell, is that you?" Lady Calamau herself had come out with the lantern. Her sharp eyes now roved over the figure before her, trying to dip beneath the hood of Calina's cloak to confirm her suspicions. But it was a needless exercise – she knew that chin, and the curve of that pert mouth.

"What a day to be traveling," she continued, without letting Calina reply to her previous question, "And who did you haul across the country with you in the middle of winter? Good elf. He shall have some of my spiced tea for that. But you? You I do not know what to do with. You are like a leaf in the wind, coming and going and coming, like the Younger Children: everything done so quickly."

The gate had by that time been opened, and Calina had stepped through, pausing to lay an affectionate kiss on the elder she-elf's cheek. "And I am pleased to see you as well, mistress."

Kallindo was still hesitating in the street, unsure of what should be done with the two horses.

"Bring them in," Lady Calamau beckoned. "I keep three stalls in a very small stable which has proved itself useful on occasion. I am afraid I do not keep it provisioned very well, as I do not keep a horse myself, but there should be some hay, blankets, and a barrel of dry grain."

Taking the lady's invitation gladly, Kallindo brought the horses through the gate and made it his business to tend to their needs. Calina tried to go with him and care for her own horse, but he gently sent her off in the care of their hostess, saying that he would find them shortly. Calina attempted to look cross at first, but then she simply rolled her eyes and turned away.

Oiratinwë watched the brief exchange with some little amusement. She wondered why Calina had given in so quickly. But she was even more curious as to why the stranger's face had seemed to soften with affection at Calina's last, impertinent gesture, and why his eyes clung to her retreating form for a moment longer than was customary.

Calina walked by Lady Calamau, heading toward the northern side of the courtyard, where an opened door let light spill out onto the frosted ground. The lady moved to follow her. Soon they were seated in a cozy, book-riddled, little room, with mugs of spiced tea, awaiting the return of the elf, whom Oiratinwë had already took to calling in her own mind _the Mystery_. And they were undoubtedly waiting for that imminent arrival: Calina spoke little, and kept taking covert glances at the doorway.

True to his word, it was not long before Kallindo found them in their comfortable corner of the house. However, upon stepping into the room, he was hesitant to join them within the soft glow of the firelight. Calina sat across from him, near the fire, on a settee that was just large enough for two. The only other seat available was a larger settee, situated on the opposite side of the room and strategically positioned to keep him as far away from his newly betrothed as the small room would allow. Lady Calamau sat between the two positions, keeping her thoughts to herself as she watched Kallindo glance quickly between the far seat and the near. Calina was staring steadfastly into her mug of tea, as though determined not to give him her opinion one way or the other.

After a very pregnant pause, Kallindo braved the expanse of the hearthstone, and took the seat beside Calina. Oiratinwë, pleased with his daring, poured the elf a generous mug of tea, and then settled back into her own prodigiously stuffed chair, waving off the thanks of her guest.

"Shall you introduce me to your friend?" Oiratinwë questioned.

Calina bit her lip fiercely before looking up into the steady gaze of the master glass artisan. "Forgive me. This is…" Calina searched desperately for a better way of expressing herself, but in the end, her efforts resolved in: "a good friend. Kallindo."

Kallindo did not stir or make any sign of being offended by the epithet. Calina continued pressing on with the introduction. "He is of Fanlítsë, though his family is spread across many provinces."

"Then you are from across the Sea?" Calamau discerned.

"Yes," Kallindo replied, wrapping his long fingers around the warm mug of tea. "I dwelt in Lothlórien. Much of my family still chooses to live under the Lady's rule here, but we were all free to choose otherwise, and several of us did."

"Well, I am glad that you chose to do so, and were thus available to escort my young friend on her rather foolhardy errand. I still do not understand what you were thinking, Calina, coming up the coast this far in winter." Oiratinwë turned a knowing smile on Kallindo. "Ah well, she is still a child, I suppose, and must be forgiven."

The observation, which Oiratinwë knew to be quite false, was made with deliberate calculation. I little jab at the obvious weakness of the match that seemed to be forming before her very eyes could prove to be quite informative.

Calina stared blankly at Lady Calamau. 'You are up to something, Old Lady. I wish you would stop it.'

Kallindo took a long sip of his tea and favored his host with a dry smile. "Calina is not in the least a child. She had a very good reason for coming, and is quite capable of making the trip without an escort. I am simply gratified that she allowed me to accompany her."

Oiratinwë smiled broadly. "You have a staunch defender, Soronhíniell. I think I shall like him. Now, will you tell me the whole story, or shall I send him away first?"

Two pairs of eyes suddenly found the contents of their respective mugs very interesting. The tips of Calina's ears went slightly rosy. Kallindo slouched forward, resting elbows on knees and bowing his head.

Several moments passed before Calina spoke up in a clipped tone: "I am sorry, Kallindo. I didn't think to warn you that the _Old Lady_ is quite infuriatingly perceptive, and shockingly blunt."

Oiratinwë laughed. "I _knew_ that is what the novices called me when they thought I wasn't listening. Their secrecy wasn't worth the effort. I enjoy being old – when one is old one can laugh at the follies of youth. Now come, good friend Kallindo. Let me show you to a spare room so that I may have Calina all to myself. I am not a patient sort, and I know she will not speak as long as you are in the room."

Kallindo was torn between indignation at the interruption of their quiet evening and gratitude that the obviously ill concealed tension between he and Calina had been so utterly demolished that there was no longer the slightest use in them attempting to continue their charade. Oiratinwë gazed at him questioningly. He returned her gaze with a challenging one of his own.

"A moment, please?" Kallindo asked in a polite tone, which had a touch of command simmering round the edges.

Lady Calamau smiled. Yes, she liked this elf very much.

Calina watched distractedly as Oiratinwë left them and walked out into the hallway, knowing that the lady would still be able to hear anything that was said. Her attention was gathered back to Kallindo when he slipped one of his hands across her own folded ones. His fingers were still cool from being out in the stable. The unexpected touch made Calina want to start away, but she quelled the emotion admirably.

"And so it seems we must part," Kallindo murmured.

Calina met his gaze, inclined her head slightly in agreement. She desperately wanted to know what had prompted him to reach out and touch her hands.

"Goodnight, then." A slight squeeze of the fingers accompanied his unremarkable words, making them somehow very precious. "May your dreams be incomparably sweet."

An artless, tentative smile pulled at Calina's mouth. "Goodnight," she whispered, afraid to say anything more.

Kallindo rose quietly and left the room. Oiratinwë moved in front of him, leading him down the hallway toward some unknown part of the rambling house. Lady Calamau's home was replete with indoor and outdoor workspaces, and storerooms for her craft, but aside from a small gallery, which could functions as a reception area, the modes of living were simply squeezed into whatever cracks and crevices remained. It was a few minutes before the lady returned.

Calina could not help but glare daggers at her hostess. Was there never a time when that lady did not speak her mind?

'And some people dub me impertinent?' she huffed silently.

Oiratinwë took up Kallindo's recently vacated seat. "Will you be angry with me forever, do you think? It's not as though you were truly fooling anyone, either yourselves or me – I did not _expose_ anything. The air was so thick between you I could have sliced a bit off and spread it across my morning biscuit."

Calina's demeanor softened, though she still turned exasperated eyes upon her teacher. "Can you not ever leave things as they lie, _Old Lady_. It is a wonder I kept my sanity, even living here for a mere ten years!"

With a gentle laugh, Oiratinwë pulled Calina into her arms, and began sliding her hand along the younger elf's hair. "There, there, don't fret. And yes, I am very capable of letting some things lie, and have done so many times in my long life, but not this. And now I am going to say something that you will not like at all, but it must be said, and then you can contradict me soundly."

Calina nodded her head wearily.

Lady Calamau took a few moments to compose her words before beginning: "I received your letter two days ago. You gave no explanation as to your coming, and the missive was devoid of any of your usual chatty pleasantries. I come out to the gate this evening and find a very grave pair of elves, one of whom is a complete stranger to me and has as yet given no reason for his coming. Now, I have a good feeling about this young lord, and since I have sat with you and he I would swear against the doubts I am about to express, but I must ask the question. Are you in any sort of danger or trouble? Has Kallindo–"

"No." Calina straightened and met Oiratinwë's gaze head on. "I know that you have seen many dark and unexpected days, but Kallindo is in all things very honorable."

"Didn't I tell you?" Lady Calamau smiled brightly. "A very sound, unaffected defense. I believe you. But, now that my motherly anxiety has been set to rest, my curiosity runs rampant. You really must tell me everything, or I shall never be able to sleep tonight."

Calina smirked, shaking her head at the indefatigable she-elf. Her conclusions were confirmed: had Oiratinwë been born to the race of men, she would have made a wonderfully outlandish old biddy. The Old Lady loved gossip almost as much as she loved her craft.

And so, as the night wore on, Calina poured out the tale to Lady Calamau. And quite naturally, she poured out her heart as well, filling her teacher's ears with the turmoil and uncertainty that plagued her heart. Oiratinwë sensed that it was a cleansing act, and so she listened patiently and quietly, with a supportive shoulder, calming hands, and a very large pot of her spiced tea.

* * *

"You are an early riser I see. My, but your good qualities do keep mounting up." Lady Calamau rustled down the hallway in her eccentric skirts, clasped one of Kallindo's hands warmly within her own. "I see that you braved my bewildering hallways."

Kallindo inclined his head. "I was restless this morning. And I was not without a guide."

Oiratinwë looked slightly surprised. "I find it hard to believe that any of my students have suddenly gained an appreciation for the wee hours."

This observation brought a reluctant smile to Kallindo's lips. He was still rather uncertain as to how he should approach the lady before him, but her easy manner was disarming. "No. You mistake me, madam. I was referring to the heady scent of fresh nut bread and," he paused for effect, "_spiced tea_, which is drifting from the hallway that branches left behind me. I can only assume that the kitchen is in that direction. I have always found that if one can find the kitchen, everything else becomes a little easier."

Oiratinwë laughed, delighted with Calina's chosen, and in that very moment, became committed to the cause. She slipped a hand conspiratorially into Kallindo arm, and began leading him away from the tempting smell of nut bread.

"I like you very much, Kallindo. And Calina likes you a sight more than I. Would I be correct in thinking that you like my young pupil very much?"

Lady Calamau paused long enough for Kallindo to smirk at her nosiness and give a short nod.

"Good. So here is where we are: I like you both, and Calina likes you, and you like Calina. But, unfortunately, Calina is convinced that you are only trying to protect her, as a brother would his sister. Is this true?"

Kallindo stopped short as they stepped out into the front courtyard. "I assume Calina has told you all of the story as she knows it, and thus that she trusts you. I will therefore be honest. I do wish to protect Calina… but she is most decidedly _not_ my sister. If you take my meaning."

Oiratinwë narrowed her eyes in a calculating manner. "Have you told Calina this?"

"No. The moment has not presented itself for such a discussion."

"Hmm… Well, since I am a good deal older than you are it can only be hoped that I am a little wiser. You should tell Calina these things, but not now. She needs to time to think her own thoughts, I judge."

Kallindo took a speculative look around the courtyard, knowing that the lady had brought him there for a reason. "What would you have of me?"

Lady Calamau smiled broadly, withdrawing a folded piece of parchment and handing it to Kallindo. "I had planned on going to the market today. These are the things I need. Be sure to dawdle as long as you possibly can. Do not, on any account, be back before lunch."

* * *

It was with some great trepidation that Kallindo, upon his return at noontime, relieved himself of his newly acquired burdens and began collecting his thoughts for an encounter with Calina. After spending a few minutes in a failed attempt at crafting his opening address, he left the kitchen and began wandering the halls. It was not long before he finally met one of Lady Calamau's illusive pupils, hard at work organizing different pigments and fillers in a small storeroom that had its door ajar. Without being asked, the young elf offered up that the Old Lady and Calina could be found by taking two rights, going through the lattice doorway, and veering right once more.

Not many moments had passed before Kallindo stepped out into the thin, winter sunlight. Calina and Oiratinwë were at the center of a tiny, sleeping garden, with their profiles to him, speaking in an animated fashion. At that moment, Calina's head tipped back in unguarded laughter. Kallindo paused to watch her, enchanted. Her whole body seemed to be wrapped up in the humorous tale that Lady Calamau was weaving. She twisted away from the lady; her shoulders scrunched up as she raised her light hands and tried to ward off the deluge of words that was streaming over her. She leaned forward then, raised a hand to her heaving chest.

"Stop it!" she protested, still trying to quell her laughter. "I cannot breathe! Oh – you are very naughty, Old Lady. I shall never be able to think of– "

The words were cut off abruptly, as Calina became aware of Kallindo's presence. For an instant, all expression slid from her face and dropped down into her hands, which suddenly bagan to fiddle with the hem of the tunic she was wearing. Then, with a great effort to appear easy, she straightened her posture and forced her lips into an imitation of a casual smile.

Lady Calamau, seeing the change in her friend, turned slightly and took in Kallindo's appearance. She nodded a silent greeting then turned back to Calina and laid a kiss on her forehead before rising.

"Ask him," she commanded firmly.

Calina's eyes lifted, wide and anxious, and the two she-elves had a battle of wills for a few moments before the younger finally dropped her head in defeat. Lady Calamau approached Kallindo and laid two reassuring hands on his shoulders. She did not need to speak, but Kallindo understood his own silent mandate: _Tell her_. With a satisfied smile, Oiratinwë left the two in peace.

Kallindo walked over to Calina and sat down beside her, leaning forward to brace his elbows against his knees. Calina continued to fiddle with her tunic. For the first time, Kallindo noticed that she was not wearing a dress. Instead, she was attired in a particularly grimy set of legging, with an over-sized tunic. Her hands were smudged and smoky. By the evidence, Kallindo would say that she had been working at a kiln that morning.

The silence lengthened between them. Abruptly, Kallindo stood and swung one leg over the bench so that he could straddle it. Facing Calina head on he prepared himself to begin his poorly prepared speech. Calina spoke first.

"Why do you want to marry me?"

Her eyes were cast downward, toward the section of wooden bench that separated them, fingers still clenching and unclenching. Kallindo had the absurd desire to gathering her fretful hands within his own and congratulate her for being brave enough to speak first. He did not congratulate her. He did capture her fingers within his grasp.

"Would you like the long explanation or the abbreviated tale?" He tried to enfuse his tone with lightness.

Calina looked at their entwined hands and then finally turned her face up to meet his eye, all seriousness. "I would like the abbreviated tale, please. I don't want any long explanations. I just want something simple that I can understand and act upon."

Kallindo was rather surprised by her answer. He hadn't been preparing himself for the short version. Tightening his hold on her hands, he cleared his throat and began:

"I like… that is, I do care for you very much." Kallindo took a large breath, as though in beginning to speak he had just accomplished some great endeavor. "I know first hand what it is you would suffer, were I to reject you, and I would not wish that upon anyone. And… and…"

Kallindo dropped his eyes, the memories of centuries flooding his gaze for a moment and taking his breath away. He felt caught inside a spell, weighed down by silence and time, unable to speak the words that were tearing up from his heart. For some inexplicable reason, he wanted to cry, burned to cry. The feeling was almost overwhelming, but it too was lodged somewhere between his heart and his lips, unable to break free.

With unexpected sweetness, Calina adjusted the lay of their hands, weaving her fingers with Kallindo's strong ones and giving them a gentle squeeze. Kallindo looked up into Calina's face and found a beautiful answer there, to a question he hadn't even known he was asking.

"I am lonely for a mate," he finally whispered, letting the truth have its own way. "If you would have me, I would try to make you happy."

Calina's face did not betray her thoughts as she leaned forward and rested her head against Kallindo's chest. She was seated too far away from Kallindo for him to comfortably gather her into his arms, but he brought his hands up and slipped them around the back of her neck, buried them in her hair.

"Thank you. I understand that," she whispered. "And do you think… could you ever come to truly love me one day?"

Kallindo closed his eyes. "The thought of love is still so new to me, but I think I could. I want to. And, for now, I do know that it would give me great pleasure to call you my own."

Calina's soft smile went unseen by her companion. "And it would give me pleasure to be by your side, and to have the hope of one day receiving your love. I will be your wife, Kallindo."

The two sat in silence for many minutes, content in their decision. When Kallindo broke the silence, it was with some regret.

"One question remains."

Calina sat up and looked at him questioningly.

"Two paths lay before us. We can either try to start from the beginning and allow ourselves a proper time of courtship, pretending all the while that we are not in actuality betrothed. Or we can marry immediately, with the hope that once our souls have been bound together everything else will fall into place."

A look of pained uncertainty crossed Calina's features, as though she knew what she desired, but was afraid that it was the wrong choice. She did not answer immediately and Kallindo began to grow concerned that he had spoken too hastily on the subject.

At that moment, Lady Calamau poked her head into the garden and gave Calina a hard stare. "Did you ask him?"

Calina groaned and looked away. Kallindo's eyebrows shot up. Hadn't she already asked him _the_ question? Wasn't the 'why' behind all of this her greatest concern?

"I can't," Calina pleaded, "Please, do not make me. It is too–"

Lady Calamau broke in matter-of-factly: "She wants to know if you find her enticing. I dare say if you answer that question, she'll be able to answer your own more easily."

Kallindo's jaw dropped ever so slightly at the elder lady's temerity. Turning back to Calina, he couldn't help but notice that she was blushing furiously. The sight was oddly endearing.

"I… that is, I know I am not a child," Calina began, face still turned away from Kallindo. "But I might as well be one. I am very young compared with you and I must seem rather… immature and child-like. I… I thought that… oh never mind!" She covered her face with one hand and waited desperately for the most embarassing moment of her life to reach its climax.

Kallindo wanted to laugh, but felt that such a reaction would certainly not be taken well. Of all the things to be worried about, her desirability was certainly not one of them. She was a lovely, vibrant young maiden. How could she possibly every doubt herself?

Sending a glare at Oiratinwë to ensure her departure, Kallindo eased closer to Calina on the bench and leaned into her.

"Look at me," he commanded softly.

Calina didn't move.

"Please, look at me."

With half-hearted compliance, Calina twisted around toward him and stared fixedly over his left shoulder. Before she could fright away, Kallindo leaned in closer and pressed his lips to hers. She was obviously startled by the bold move; Kallindo quickly slid his hand around her neck to hold her to him as he continued to taste her sweet mouth. Slowly, ever so slowly, she relaxed under his touch. He smiled into her lips as she timidly began to respond to his caress.

It was with regret that Kallindo finally drew away. Calina waited a long moment before opening her eyes and staring up at Kallindo in wonder. Her gaze pulled at the elf to steal one more kiss, but instead, he moved his lips to beneath her ear and whispered: "Not desire you?" he chided, "Calina, my entire body is humming."

And with that, Kallindo laid a quick kiss on her jaw and rose, feeling that distance would be a good thing for the both of them at that moment.

"Farewell, my lady," he murmured, "We shall speak again this evening."

And with that remark he reluctantly departed the garden, leaving behind in his wake a maiden who was, perhaps, blushing evening more furiously than she had been before.

* * *

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Soronhín: Q. "eagle child" 

Oiratinwë Calamau: Q. "eternal spark/light hands"

Soronhíniell: Q. "daughter of Soronhín"

Tármírë: Q."lofty jewel"


	16. Something Beautiful

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

Chapter 16.) Something Beautiful

* * *

"_dazed an earth shakes sleep_

_out of her brightening mind:now everywhere_

_space tastes of the amazement which is hope"_

e. e. cummings

* * *

December 9, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor

Recap:

_It was with regret that Kallindo finally drew away. Calina waited a long moment before opening her eyes and staring up at Kallindo in wonder. Her gaze pulled at the elf to steal one more kiss, but instead, he moved his lips to beneath her ear and whispered: "Not desire you?" he chided, "Calina, my entire body is humming."_

* * *

Despite the high tide of emotions that had been tossing Calina about all that day and the night before, she was able to sit beside Kallindo at supper with a degree of equanimity. She was aided in doing so by the lively atmosphere of Lady Calamau's table, which boasted hearty food, friendly faces, and plenty of merry, inconsequential discourse. The five students who currently resided with the glass artisan had emerged mysteriously from the woodwork and, by more conventional means, a few favorite neighbors had presented themselves at the front doorstep. All were in rare form; it was quite an uplifting company. Calina knew all of them from her years spent in study there and she was surprised to realize, upon seeing them again, how much she had truly missed them.

Though Kallindo was somewhat reserved at first, he soon made his way into the ebb and flow of conversation and was accepted with tacit enthusiasm by all present as being a well opinioned, gentle elf. Calina was quite please by this development, as at that moment it seemed very important that they should approve of him. She was also rather amused with herself for feeling so.

The revolutions of Calina's over-taxed emotions were as follows: Upon the entrance of the first course she was still in a fluster over Kallindo's stolen kiss and rather daring assertion. As the first course began to make its descent, her discomfiture settled down into a subtle warmth around the heart. With the second course, this warmth traveled out through her fingertips and made her feel quite light and heady. And when dessert made its appearance, the butterflies in her stomach had become so insistent that she was forced to let them bubble out in laughter.

But after all of these wonders had come to pass, Calina knew that she truly lost herself when – after having to sit through an embarrassing, though hilarious, recital of one of her less than brilliant moments – Kallindo took her hand in his beneath the table, gave it a gentle squeeze, and forgot to let go. After that, the embarrassment, the uncertainty, even the laughter, didn't seem to be so important as the feeling of his fingers intertwined with her own. For a few delicious moments, Calina was able to imagine that they were both blissfully in love. And though the feeling soon passed and she reminded herself that Kallindo's professions had never yet touched upon love, she could not hide the joy in her eyes nor suppress the hope in her heart.

Turning to Kallindo, she gazed upon him with a slightly impertinent, mischievous, and calculating eye, and spoke to herself what she had not the courage to say aloud: 'I shall teach you to truly love me one day, and what a glorious day it shall be!'

Kallindo felt her eyes upon him. "Dare I ask what the lady is thinking?"

Calina smiled. "You may ask, but I shall not answer you – not yet."

"I see. Then it must be a very grave secret. And when, pray, might I expect to be allowed into your intimate confidence?"

Blushing quite prettily, Calina picked up her goblet with her free hand, though she did not drink from it. Kallindo still held her right hand firmly in his left. "I cannot say," she finally murmured.

A gentle laugh reached her ears form across the table. One of the guest – a tall, charming elf, whose eccentricities almost rivaled those of Lady Calamau – leaned over to his dinner partner and whispered for all to hear: "I have never seen Calina's eyes so bright, nor her cheeks so rosy. Think you that she is in love?"

A tide of laughter and elbow prodding lapped around the table, for everyone present had wondered at the new comer and at the interesting exchanges between him and their young friend.

"I believe I must agree with you," one of the students piped from several seats down. "For my eyes may have played false with me, but I believe I saw a _stolen kiss in the garden_!"

This brought on a heartier wave of chuckles and general, friendly pandemonium. Calina felt that she should be cross, but the enthusiasm was very invigorating and she instead found herself laughing and blushing and laughing again. Kallindo attempted to glare at the impertinent youth who had revealed their secret, but he could not be bitter. A broad smirk soon took up residence on his face as he was accosted by questions, admonitions, and pointedly appraising stares.

Oiratinwë watched with amusement as the poor couple was besieged. Finally, she decided to rescue them by standing up at the head of the table and calling her guests to order.

"Really!" she finally declared when the murmurs had died down. "One would think that you all are as gossipy as I am! If you cannot contain your nosiness, at least try and ask only one question at a time. You will drive the poor lad into hiding, and then Calina would never forgive any of us."

"Quite right, my lady, quite right," the elf who had begun the raucous agreed. "But I think there is really only one question that needs to be answered to allay our curiosity." Turning his attention to Kallindo, the elf continued. "You must understand that we are all very fond of Calina – very cross when she left us and very happy that she has come again. Because of this we of course want to know more than we have any business knowing, but will settle for this: Do you fancy our little sea jewel and are you doing your best to make her happy?"

Calina spoke up before Kallindo could compose a reply sufficiently balanced between the serious and the light-hearted. These were her friends, and she would not force Kallindo to display himself before strangers. "You rogue, that was two questions, not one. But I shall be gracious with you." A pause. "Kallindo and I are betrothed. And yes, he is making me happy." She turned to him with a slow smile. "I hope I shall make him so."

Kallindo rested beneath his lady's gaze. All he could think was that her smile was for him. He squeezed her hand gently, trying to convey the fact that she already had made him happy. His true doubts lay in whether he could make her so. It was therefore comforting to know that, at least for the present, he was successful.

* * *

When looking back on the bewildering course of her day, Calina supposed that she really should not be at all surprised that she found herself, late that evening, sitting before the fire with Kallindo's arm about her, leaning against him. However, she was surprised. And she felt, by the sudden stillness of her companion, that he was as well. It seemed to have happened without either of them actually meaning it to.

For a moment, Calina considered drawing back, but then decided against it. There was no cause for such an action, and she was quite comfortable where she was. Now, as to her impulse to put her hand against his chest and snuggle in… that was something she had not, as yet, the courage to do.

The pair sat quietly for several minutes. It was quite late, and though neither wanted to admit it, both were rather ready for the quiet and rest of their own beds. The gathering that evening had been quite jolly, but it had left them somewhat more at ease with their current circumstances than they felt they had a right to be, considering. Note the way Kallindo's hand made a movement to touch Calina's hair, but retreated quickly.

A log cracked in the fire. Calina blinked as though coming awake; her brow furrowed.

"Do I laugh too much?"

"Why would you ask such a thing?"

"I hope I am not overly silly – do you think I am overly silly?" Calina tilted her head up to meet Kallindo's eye and quirked an eyebrow most comically.

Kallindo smiled at her expression, but spoke with a serious undertone. "Through the entire course of our friendship you never paid heed to the thought that the difference in our ages was an impediment. Why do you give place to such misgivings now?"

Calina frowned. "You can always see what it is I really mean. I do not think that is fair… You know all my secrets."

"You're secrets are safe in my keeping. Have no fear." Kallindo urged Calina to rest her head back on his shoulder. Another moment passed before he wound up his courage. "May I touch your hair?"

"You may," Calina whispered.

It was some time before either of them spoke.

"My father will be distressed over me," Calina sighed heavily. "I do not see any way around that."

Kallindo's right hand was tangled in Calina's hair. He withdrew it slowly. "Do you wish to go home, to tell your parents?"

"Strangely… no, I do not. I think I begin to agree with Lady Calamau. I have done enough running around the country for one winter. And I am happy here. I do not wish…"

"Yes?"

"I do not think I should return home until we are wed. I…" She ducked her head. A moment passed while she resolved herself to speak.

"After you left, I would go into my workrooms every day and close the door, make them all believe that I was working and engaged. But I didn't work; I just sat in the gloom mostly. And if I did try to make something it would come out all wrong. Or sometimes, it would be so perfect that I couldn't understand how my hands should be able to go on making beautiful things when my own heart was no longer beautiful to me. I threw them all away – there's quite a pile in the back behind the bushes. I felt, and still feel a little, the keen desire to smash the whole collection to bits, but such a terrible thing… I would never forgive myself. I don't think I should be allowed the opportunity."

Kallindo wanted to smash something himself. Instead, he pulled Calina to him with both arms and held her snugly against his chest. He did not speak. There didn't seem to be anything worth saying.

"Thank you," Calina finally murmured against his tunic.

Kallindo smiled sadly. "I don't see that I have ever done anything by you that is worthy of gratitude, but... I would…"

He trailed off. Calina's somber mood shifted; she was on her guard. Pushing herself back, she gazed at Kallindo with a stern aspect.

"Don't you dare marry me because you feel guilty, Kallindo. You've done an admirable job so far of convincing me that you want this, even if not for the same reason as I do. I will gladly be your companion, your friend, your comforter, your… lover." Calina looked away toward the fire. "But _do not_ make me your peace of mind – your absolved conscience. I will never regret that I met you, so do not try to convince me, or yourself, that I should!"

Here, Calina adjusted herself so that she was kneeling on the settee, facing Kallindo. With hands that shook only slightly, she framed his face and pulled it toward her. Looking him levelly in the eye she declared: "I am so _happy_ to have known you, Kallindo. I am so happy at the thought of being your wife, of being with you. In my judgement, you have done very well by me, and you will simply have to learn to put up with my gratitude. You may still be in dispute with your own heart, but know this: I am of the firm belief that Eru himself made me for you. Do not apologize for capturing my heart."

Kallindo watched in awe as a sudden smile blossomed on Calina's face. She leaned closer.

"For allowing me to bully my way into your life those months ago, you have my thanks." She laid a soft kiss on his lips. "And thanks again." Another kiss.

Letting his eyes sink closed, Kallindo rested his forehead against Calina's and slipped his left hand into her hair. The two sat silently for several moments, letting peace settle back down around them.

"I am not here to absolve myself," Kallindo finally spoke. "I want you to be my wife. I do want that. I still feel that this desire to have you with me is a selfish one, at bottom. But if it is what you need from me, then be at peace."

"That _is_ what I need." Calina drew away, and favored Kallindo with a glowing countenance. "That is what makes this right, don't you see? If we both want this and are determined so see it grow into something beautiful, then it _will_ grow into something beautiful. It will be what we make of it."

Kallindo smiled warmly, restored by his lady's enthusiasm. "It seems obvious that you shall be the voice of optimism in this venture," he teased lightly.

Calina shook her head in mock censure. "Nay. I am the voice of practicality and reason. As adorable as you may look with a forlorn expression on your face, I hope that you will begin putting a few of those trammeled and overly analyzed impulses to some good purpose. You cannot _sigh_ forever!"

"'Trammeled impulses.' My, but that does sound bleak." Kallindo's tone was very dry. "Just remember that I am the elf who chased you for three days and asked for your pledge in the middle of a snowy field. Wasn't that impulsive enough for you?"

Calina paused, wondering if his cryptic tone implied that he was actually irritated with her. Kallindo winked. Calina's eyes widened in astonishment, her lips parted in a silent 'o'.

"Further proof," the elf murmured. "If I can surprise you, I must have some spontaneity about my person."

With that, Kallindo rose and laid a parting kiss on Calina's hair. "May your dreams be very sweet."

"You said the same last night," Calina observed absently.

"And were they sweet? Your dreams?"

Calina merely nodded, a smile in her eyes.

Kallindo turned to depart the cozy chamber. He was almost through the door when he swung back, paused, then stumbled out: "Would you… if your father consents, that is… might you consider being married soon?"

"I would – I do. Indeed, I would wish it to be so."

"I will send a message to your father then. We will not go back until you are ready, so let us hope your family can make the journey in haste."

With a quick nod, and a self-conscious smile, Kallindo bid a final farewell and went to seek out his own bed.

* * *

The message was sent; Kallindo and Calina settled down into their temporary abode and waited expectantly. Both felt that a very hopeful beginning had been made and that it only needed encouragement to grow into "something beautiful," as Calina had termed it. Kallindo was not yet ready to put a name to what that something beautiful might be, but he felt its burgeoning nonetheless.

Despite the air of hopefulness, however, the waiting did become a bit nerve-wracking. And so, to keep her hands occupied and her thoughts away from the impending confrontation with her family, Calina stepped back into her role as one of Lady Calamau's pupils. She was up with the other students in the morning, preparing, cataloging, and learning the properties and meanings of different tinctures, patterns, and techniques. In the afternoon, she would be in the kiln room, sweaty and content, generally aiding, but sometimes working on pieces of her own.

Kallindo likewise did what he could to make himself useful. Each morning he would take the horses out of their rather cramped accommodations and exercise them in the fields beyond the city gate. Upon his return, he would groom the horses and then seek the kitchen to try and beg work of the housekeeper (who was in truth merely an old friend of Oiratinwë). The fruits of his inquiries generally amounted to peeling a few potatoes, or drawing water from the well, but it was enough to keep him busy until lunchtime. After this, his pleas fell on deaf ears and he was shooed out of the kitchen. He amused himself by meandering through the livelier streets of the city, reading, or sitting in a corner of the kiln room, unabashedly watching his betrothed.

The last, in particular, was quite amusing indeed. Watching Calina in this setting revealed things about her that he had never known before. For instance, she was careful of her ears; when she tied her hair back she would always pull it over her ears, and continue to reach up absent-mindedly to make sure it was still in place. When she worked at the kiln she was stern-faced and silent, but when she stood by to aid someone else she couldn't stop speaking or singing. Though her confrontations with Oiratinwë on matters of their craft were infrequent, she would always preface the argument by stepping back, setting her hands on her hips, and delivering the first wave of her artistic rebellion in the form of a question.

When Kallindo thus observed her, he tried to remain as inconspicuous as possible. He would, of course, be found out as some point, and then Calina's mannerisms and habits would jumble together in a self-conscious tizzy. After a while, she would perhaps take his stares as a challenge of sorts, and dive back into the activity around the kilns, but never without a look or a certain tilt of her head that declared she knew he was watching her.

One day, shortly after Kallindo had been found _skulking about_ by Maica, a ruddy-haired she-elf who was the youngest of the lot, Calina set a pair of tongs aside and approached him with determined steps.

Kallindo eyed her quizzically as she took a firm stance in front of him, hands on her hips. She smiled slowly, eyes glinting. His lips responded, sliding into a bemused expression. She cocked her head as her smiled broadened into a Cheshire grin.

"You're not of any use in this corner. Come on."

"Pardon?"

"Come and help me. You should be able to do it – you've arms and legs enough, and a mind that I dare say is not _too_ dull."

Kallindo shook his head at her teasing tone, and then pinned her with his glance, trying to determine if she was in earnest. Calina favored him with the most sincere "come hither" look he had ever beheld on the face of a female; he was up and following her to the kilns.

For the next hour Kallindo was given an introductory lesson on the art of glassmaking. Calina was working on crafting a modestly sized chandelier, which was the working together of many delicate, amber-colored, glass birds. As an accent, she wanted to craft slender feathers to hang down from beneath the candles. One such feather was the results of Kallindo's instruction. Under the guidance of Calina's steady hands and playful eyes, he rolled, pulled, and etched the heated glass until, only shortly after Oiratinwë had called the other students away, he had brought the piece to what was, at least, a recognizable form. Calina overlooked all of its imperfections and praised him heartily.

"You flatter, my lady. I do not suffer under the delusion that it is well done. You may cease your adulation."

Calina laughed. "No, indeed! It is quite well for your first attempt. I am indeed impressed. You are very adept with your hands, I wonder that you are not a craftsman yourself."

Kallindo smiled wryly, wiping his sleeve carefully across his face before taking the glass feather in a pair of tongs and returning it to the coals. He thought he would make one more attempt to clarify the ruffled edges of the plumage before supper.

"I was busy becoming adept at other things, I am afraid. After spending the entirety of my adult life as a warrior, it seemed somewhat late to find another calling. I dally in this and that, and earn my keep…" He faded off, suddenly very conscious of his unimpressive, retiring lifestyle. Would Calina be content simply living in a small house by the ocean, without expectations or diversions or ambitions? Would he be content to keep her there? These were points worth considering.

Slowly, so as not to startle him and cause some accident with the hot glass, Calina slipped her hands around Kallindo's waist and leaned her head against his back. "You must do 'this and that' very well, for I know an elfling back home who positively adores you. And, now that I consider the question, I quite adore you as well. I cannot understand what it is to live in warfare, what it would be like to spend your life learning how to kill just so that your people would survive. I know it does not make any sense at all, but I feel very grateful just now, and very proud of you."

Kallindo pulled the feather from the kiln and laid it across a metal workspace. Moving cautiously, and bending over only slightly to carve at the hot glass, he hoped that Calina would not let go. She didn't. He knew that they made for an odd picture, but to him it was the most intimate and satisfying moment they had yet shared. His hands moved with new-found confidence, proving themselves, telling the story of his thanks where words were insufficient; his back held carefully still, showing Calina that he desired her to rest against him, desired her confidence and trust.

Calina smiled against his tunic and closed her eyes, listening, feeling his fluid movements, sensing his contentment. She gave his torso a gentle squeeze.

"Calina?"

Both elves jumped slightly, caught completely unawares by the sudden voice. Calina's movement pushed Kallindo slightly forward and his hand, which had been hovering barely above the heated feather, touch against it lightly.

"Ai!" he drew his hand back quickly and clenched his fist together at the sting.

"Here, here is the water!" Calina flew to a bucket of water nearby and brought it back, instructing Kallindo to hold his hand out as she slowly poured some of the contents across his burn.

It was in this pose that Calina finally looked up and toward the doorway.

"_Amil_, _atar_! I- I am so glad you have come."

Kallindo looked up and met the puzzled gaze of his future father-in-law.

"Soronhín." He couldn't think of anything else to say, as the water flowing over his hands came to a stop.

Calina put the bucket down and stood next to Kallindo, her hands clasped behind her back. Kallindo shifted away from Calina and then back again, paused, wiped his smudged hands against the leather apron he had been given. Soronhín took several tentative steps forward, leading his wife by the hand and carefully scrutinizing his daughter, while Danneniûl kept her eyes averted as she attempted to quell a rebellious smile.

Kallindo cleared his throat. Danneniûl looked up and gazed upon him warmly, encouraging him to speak.

The brilliant introduction that he had composed in his head ran as follows: _"I know my letter must have been quite startling. If you would allow me to speak with you somewhere more private I am sure many of your worries could be addressed. Calina and I have much to say."_

What actually came out was: "My letter, you received it… good… good, you are here."

A moment passed in silence before Kallindo winced and let his eyes wander back to the floor.

With undisguised tenderness, Calina stepped closer to Kallindo's side and slipped her hand into his own. She addressed her father.

"Do not look so grave, _atto_. I have so many happy things to tell you!"

Leaving her place beside Kallindo, Calina approached Soronhín and embraced him, nestling her head against his chest.

"You'll see, _atto_. It is something beautiful."

Soronhín wrapped his daughter firmly in his arms and laid his cheek against her hair. Her brightness had returned; her warmth and vitality comforted him. She was no longer the little shadow he had watched ride away almost two weeks before. She was _Calina_ again: illuminated. His lovely daughter

Perhaps he wouldn't have to rescue her after all. Looking at Kallindo, who still stood several feet off, he noticed the unusual serenity in his eyes. Perhaps they had already rescued each other.

* * *

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart" Soronhín: Q. "eagle child" Danneniûl: S. "fallen ember" 

Oiratinwë Calamau: Q. "eternal spark/light hands"

Maica: Q. "piercing"

Atar/atto: Q. "father/daddy"

Amil/ammë: Q. "mother/mommy"


	17. The Sweetest Dream

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

**A/N**: Thank you to all of my lovely reviewers. I always appreciate it when you take time away from your real life to let me know that you're enjoying my story… puts a smile on my face. D

I have taken a little liberty: Everyone seems to think that elves can potentially go without sleep for a very long while. But what if they stretch that ability to its breaking point? How abruptly do they reach the end of their rope, and how does it affect them?

* * *

Chapter 17.) The Sweetest Dream

* * *

_I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need. _

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

* * *

December 20, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor

Recap:

_Kallindo turned to depart the cozy chamber. He was almost through the door when he swung back, paused, then stumbled out: "Would you… if your father consents, that is… might you consider being married soon?"_

"_I would – I do. Indeed, I would wish it to be so."_

"_I will send a message to your father then. We will not go back until you are ready, so let us hope your family can make the journey in haste."_

* * *

Calina wandered the hallways aimlessly, running her hands along the many textures of the walls: rough stone, cool chiseled marble, soft tapestry weave. She moved restlessly in and out of storeroom and sitting room, kitchen and workroom, all the while keeping her steps carefully away from the one place where she most desired to be. Her father and mother were closeted away with Kallindo on the other side of the house; they would not let her intrude upon their conversation.

Finding this somewhat unjust and overly suspenseful, Calina had intended to defy her parents and take up a defensive position at Kallindo's side. But she then recalled that her parents where, after all, as reasonable as they were protective, and that while it would not do any real harm it could also bring them some comfort. Thus settled in favor of their request, Calina had excused herself with as much grace as she could muster and taken up her fidgety vigil in the upper-floor hallway. Though she did not yet regret her decision to leave them be, she was very much hoping that they would call her in presently.

Calina approached the area where the female students lodged. There were three of them at present, but when Calina had been amongst them, the quartet had enjoyed quite a jolly time together. One of them, in particular, had been a close friend. As Calina drew slowly nearer, she heard a burst of laughter come from one of the rooms. She paused. For a moment she felt an urge to distract herself with their merry company. But almost as soon as the notion arose it withered away. She couldn't speak naturally to anybody, as though she were not aware that a meeting of great import to her future happiness was currently taking place only rooms away.

Ever so quietly, Calina retreated, moving backward along the wall toward the stairs which would lead down to the ground floor. Reaching the top of the flight, she quickly turned and began to descend them quickly, restive with anticipation. Her progress was halted abruptly as she collided with Kallindo's tall form.

Kallindo grunted softly, grabbing Calina and the banister to steady himself. Calina wobbled and then plopped down ungracefully on the step above where Kallindo was standing. For a moment she observed his knees and then turned her face to the side and indulged in a fit of ill-concealed giggles. Kallindo, having righted himself, gazed at her amusedly before crouching down to your level.

"And from what are you trying to escape with such haste?"

Calina's smile shone in her eyes. "Myself, I suppose. You are done with them, then?"

Kallindo nodded steadily, though his expression did not reveal one way or the other how things had progressed with her parents. "They would like to speak with you as well."

"Dividing our forces, are they?" Calina quipped, her eyebrow arched imperiously.

Taking a seat on the same step, Kallindo captured her hand with easy familiarity. "A useless strategy against those whose desires coincide, would you not say?"

Calina turned to meet his uncharacteristically impish gaze. She believed that he would have rather enjoyed the role of a persecuted lover, though she was certain her parents had not been nearly so over-bearing as _that_ would imply.

She nudged him gently with her shoulder. "I do so enjoy it when you hold my hand."

Kallindo stood and raised her to her feet. "Then I shall make a point of doing it more often. But you had best go to your parents now. It took me some time to find you, and they are waiting."

With great alacrity, Calina descended the stairs and went in search of her mother and father. They were in the same room where she had left them earlier. Closing the door behind her, she rested against it and pinned them with an expectant gaze.

Soronhín beckoned her to sit with them. She did so and they were soon caught up in a calm and delicate discussion of Calina's desires for the future. Suffice it to say that Calina was able to provide them with reasonably creditable assurances that her life with Kallindo would be highly satisfactory and that it was, indeed, what she wanted.

"There is still a point on which I am reserved," Soronhín spoke up after a few moments of silence. "Why does Kallindo desire to marry you so quickly? If he is hopeful that one day his heart will truly attach itself to you, then why not postpone until that day? You would be afforded the chance to be properly courted, and it would give him time to step past the limitations of his own heart."

Calina bunched her skirt in her hands and thought for a moment. "I think… he is lonely, _atto_. And has been for so very long a time now. It was a very great struggle, I think, for him to first admit that he did want to be with me, and now that he has, he does not wish that we should be parted. In this, my sentiments are wholly the same. As to courtship… well, you might say that it was I who courted him!" Calina smiled brightly at the thought. "I pursued him at first, and then he pursued me. It was quite exhausting, really. In fact, I should say that I've had my fill of courtship, thank you."

Soronhín smiled curiously. He shared a long look with his wife before turning back to his daughter. "I am not comfortable, as yet, with this development. But you have our blessing."

After bidding her parents a temporary farewell – for they were going to retrieve her siblings, who were awaiting news at a nearby inn – Calina slipped back into the hallway to search for her betrothed. Her wandering did not last long as, after a few turns, a pair of long legs arrested her progress. Kallindo was sprawled out across the floor, his back resting against the wall, eyes closed.

She shook her head in amusement. "What _are_ you doing on the floor, silly?

Kallindo shrugged. "It seemed as good a place as any."

Calina was slightly confused by his lethargic tones. It was a stark contrast with his demeanor when she had last been with him.

"Are you alright? You look quite pale."

Kallindo shrugged. "I will be fine. Sit with me."

Calina obliged him. Kallindo opened his eyes long enough to find one of her hands with his own. A smile spread slowly across Calina's face.

"You are positively worn out," Calina finally pronounced, shaking her head. To herself she mused: 'Poor thing, I have run his head ragged these last months.'

Kallindo nodded once.

"And yet," Calina continued, "this is quite a sudden onset of sleepiness, is it not? I hope that my good parents did not over-tax you with their difficult questions. I'm afraid that I bring nothing but bother into your life."

Kallindo opened his eyes and turned his head toward hers. His face took on a sheepish aspect as he replied, "Nay. In truth, I have not slept well these past few nights. That is… well, I haven't slept at all. And it seems now that I am finally to suffer for it. I very much look forward to crawling into my bed tonight, I can assure you. But, as you see, I found the need for a temporary respite to hold me over until then. Couldn't walk another step."

Impulsively, Calina reached up a hand and smoothed Kallindo's hair back, even as she chided him. "You should take better care. Oh! And I made you work with me this afternoon at the kiln. It is a wonder you did not fall asleep in the coals. How many nights have you done this?"

Kallindo scrunched up his face in concentration. "Five… no, six… Yes. Six nights."

Calina's mouth fell open. "Kallindo," she breathed, drawing out the syllables. "I… I don't even know what to say."

A groggy smile adorned Kallindo's lips. "Oh, feel free to scold."

Calina heaved a great sigh, letting her head rest again the wall, still turned toward him. "Well, fortunately this is a time now to rest easy. Everything is well with my father and mother; we may wed as soon as you please."

"And when do you please?" Kallindo posed the question, soft and low, as his eyes wandered waywardly toward her lips.

Calina nibbled on her lip for a moment, unaware of Kallindo's attention. She dissembled: "I don't know… I… you should decide."

With somnolent imbalance, Kallindo followed his gaze and titled slightly toward her. Their heads were very close together: Calina's slightly upturned to meet his drowsy gaze. She flushed slightly as Kallindo studied her face, slowly and quite thoroughly, with a half-smile on his lips.

"I was thinking of you… all these nights." Kallindo's eyes did not leave Calina's lips as he spoke. "Thinking of you, trying to puzzle you out… it is strange, so strange… puzzling."

Calina's breath was very shallow, but she managed to whisper: "Kallindo, are you quite conscious of what you are saying?"

He smiled crookedly. "Vaguely, madam, ever so vaguely."

Tilting further, Kallindo's lips seemed to meet hers almost by accident. It was a languid, sensual kiss that left Calina's nerves tingling. This impression was heightened even more by the fact that Kallindo did not press himself against her. His body, hovering slightly over her, seemed to eclipse her in its warmth, without demanding anything.

As the kiss progressed, Calina began to have the distinct impression that this was the sort of caress that should not be undertaken in a public hallway. And yet, she could not bring herself to draw away. She could only hope that Kallindo would soon do so for the both of them, as she was feeling rather light-headed and disoriented.

Several moments passed before Kallindo granted her unspoken wish, pulling back ever so slightly and allowing her to gain a few startled breaths.

"And are you quite conscious of what you are _doing_, sir?" she finally murmured, half between a sigh and a laugh.

Kallindo shook his head, scrunching his eyebrows together. "I think… yes. I – forgive me… that is, if I have offended you."

Calina could not but smile affectionately at the exhausted elf before her. "No," she replied, squeezing the hand that he had never withdrawn from her. "No, you have not offended me in the slightest. Indeed, if you meant even only half of what you just said and did, it would make me quite content."

At that moment, a pair of little feet came racing down the hallway.

"I've found them!" Falas cried happily, as he skidded to a halt and deposited himself ungracefully into his sister's startled arms. "They sent me to look for you," he beamed proudly.

"I suppose everyone is waiting, then? Oh but… I really should help you get to bed, Kallindo. I don't think you'll make it on your own."

Kallindo waived aside her suggestion. "I am perfectly content where I am. Go to your family."

"Can I stay, please," Falas begged his sister, hoping not only to spend time with his favorite adult (outside of his family, of course), but to escape the boring grown-up talk which he had been subjected to for the entirety of the day.

"See," Kallindo closed his eyes once more and smiled, "Falas will keep me company. Go on."

Reluctantly, Calina left the pair and went to join the rest of her family. Her reservations were put aside, however, as she was able to experience the first glow of warmth and excitement from her family concerning her engagement. Danneniûl had always, with a mother's intuition, been sanguine toward the possibility of her daughter's attachment ever since it had begun to show itself. And of course, Ránendë and Ehtúro were enthusiastic at the prospect of their sister's marriage, as only a couple can be who are newly married themselves. But it was with great delight that Calina witnessed her father's composure and good humor return. With the relaxing of his concerns, the floodgate seemed to open, and Calina soon found herself awash in good wishes and questions and bits of sage advice. It was, altogether, a very encouraging and profitable hour.

But soon, despite her rising spirits, Calina's thoughts turned with concern once more to the elf that she loved best. After a brief explanation of the situation, she began to excuse herself. Fortuitously, Oiratinwë decided to make her presence known among the family gathering, and led the rest off to find them accommodations. She would not hear of them returning to the inn.

As Calina moved down the hallway, she began to pick out the sounds of a one-sided conversation.

Falas' little voice could be heard saying, "It was such a lark. But _ammë_ says that I should never do it again.

Kallindo responded with a throaty murmur that Calina assumed was along the lines of, "Quite right. You should listen to your mother."

A few moments of silence ensued wherein Calina unconsciously halted her steps, unwilling to disrupt their conversation. She could see the two – Kallindo stretched fully across the floor now, Falas kneeling next to him – but they had not yet noticed her.

"Are you going to marry Cali?" Falas finally whispered, conspiratorially.

"Mmmhhmm."

"I'm glad. We shall be brothers then… You're not going to grow as silly as Ehtúro did after he married Ránendë, are you?"

"Hope so."

Falas' scrunched up face would have made Calina laugh, if he had been turned towards her so that she could see it.

"Will you even _kiss_ her?"

Kallindo's lips twisted up into a smile. "Mmmm… lots and lots."

"Yuck!"

"Haven't you ever kissed your sister?"

Calina, despite her scattered thoughts, noted with surprise that he had found it within himself to string so many words together at once.

"Yes," Falas finally admitted, "But not on the lips!"

"Well… your sister has very sweet lips, and they shall soon be in my care."

Falas sighed heavily. "As long as you take care of her, I guess it's alright. She's too big for me to take care of all the time or else she wouldn't have to marry you. But I'm still glad… Kallindo? Kallindo?"

Calina hurried forward. "Sshhh. He has finally fallen asleep."

Falas looked up, confused. "Why was he so tired?"

"I'm afraid that _I_ haven't been taking the best care of _him_. Will you help me? He needs to lie down someplace more comfortable. There, hold up his feet."

With great care, the two carried Kallindo a few paces down the hallway and took him into the cozy room which he and Calina and sat in the evening they had become engaged. He was soon ensconced amongst the pillows on the largest settee with a wrap tucked around him. His poor feet stuck out at the end. Calina smiled at the picture he presented.

Falas made to lead her out of the room by the hand, but she sent him on without her. Turning back, she knelt beside the settee, near Kallindo's head, studying his peaceful countenance. With reverence, she gave him a soft kiss.

"Sweet lips," she whispered wistfully, adjusting her position to recline against the skirt of the couch, head near Kallindo's on the cushion. She smiled up at him. "May your dreams be very sweet."

Sitting there quietly, listening to his gentle breathing, it was not soon before Calina too stepped out onto the path of dreams. And if her position rather tended toward a crick in the neck, and if his long legs slid indecorously off the thin settee in the middle of the night, neither one thought it of any account. Especially when they were rewarded for their troubles by waking up to each other's dream-filled eyes in the morning.

* * *

Sweet dreams attended them both for the next few nights, and supported them through the morning and afternoon of their wedding day. The ceremony was simple, the gathering intimate, and the weather quite fine. And never was there a bride more besotted with her husband, or a husband so precariously on the brink of admitting – at least in words – that he was thoroughly besotted with his wife. All the guests present were quite content, and went away from the modest celebration that evening with knowing smiles and hopeful hearts.

In an uncharacteristic fit of indulgence, Oiratinwë had vacated the entire upper floor of the east wing of her home for use on the wedding night. This required clearing out herself and her housekeeper, thoroughly airing the one guestroom that had a large enough bed, and gathering any tools, books, or articles of clothing that she might need over the course of several days. 'For,' she had said to herself, 'if they come to an understanding the first night, I shan't expect to see them come down to breakfast for at least a handful of days thereafter.'

Because of this arrangement, it was hardly a few short moments after they had bid farewell to their guests that Kallindo and Calina found themselves quite alone and preparing to retire. They stood hand-in-hand for several moments, unsure of where or how to begin. Slowly, Calina lifted up her free hand and began pulling jeweled pins from her hair. Kallindo watched with undisguised wonder as the silver tresses began to uncurl and tumble down Calina's back.

"You are beautiful."

Calina froze, her hand poised to pull out the last pin. Kallindo reached up and undid it for her, tossing the pin aside with the rest of its companions.

"Yet it is somehow different now – do you feel it?"

Closing her eyes, Calina steadied her breath. Yes, she could feel it. Their binding had begun. It was more than beauty: it was a cord, piercing their hearts, pulling them ineffably together. Once secured, it would never be broken. Until Arda was unmade there would be no one else.

Kallindo brought his hand up to his wife's face, touching it softly. Instinctively, Calina leaned into his caress, her eyes still closed, waiting with anticipation to feel his lips against her own. But instead of kissing her, he spoke.

"Is there anything that you would like for me to know?" Kallindo questioned earnestly.

Drawing her brows together, Calina opened her eyes, confused. "What do you mean?"

With a quirk of his lips, Kallindo framed her face with both of his hands. "For instance… I have discovered, through my own devious observations, that you are quite careful of your ears."

Calina's eyes widened in surprise. "However did you–?"

"Now, this could mean two very different things…" Kallindo smiled mysteriously.

"Yes?" Calina finally prompted, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"Either you do not want me to touch your ears at all. Or…" He came very close, his breath feathering her cheek as he continued: "you would like me to touch them _very much_." He blew playfully at the tip of her left ear. She reflexively pulled away and began giggling, but Kallindo slid is arms around her waist and would not let her retreat further.

"I must confess… my ears are rather ticklish!" She explained, as her laughter died away. "It is an odd thing, is it not? I don't know how it came about. Perhaps… perhaps you had better not – for now, at least. It wouldn't due for me to start laughing when, well, you know… and what a blow to your pride that would be!"

Despite the fierce blush that was rising up her cheeks, Calina managed to don an impertinent look to go along with her very forward comment.

"I'll look after my own pride, thank you," Kallindo quipped. "Is there anything else I should know?"

Calina lost her nerve and looked away, suddenly impressed by the immensity of the day's events. She felt a little overwhelmed by his nearness, and yet, at the same time she wished to be even closer to him. Without a word, she finally responded with a small shake of her head.

Kallindo drew her closer and rested his forehead against hers. "And what does my lady wish?" he gently inquired. "I am at her command."

"Oh don't–" Calina started, wishing very much that he would not require her to initiate their intimacy. "I mean... oh, can't you just kiss me and go from there?"

Kallindo was, of course, more than happy to oblige her request. He was so obliging, in fact, and Calina was so happy – once his kisses had quite thoroughly driven away her nervousness – to be obliged that, well, you know the rest. Suffice it to say that there, in Oiratinwë's little used guestroom with its over-sized bed, husband and wife completed their sacred bond, becoming one not only in heart and mind, but in soul and body as well.

* * *

Kallindo stretched lazily and without thought tightened his hold upon his wife, pulling her more snuggly against his chest.

'Wife!'

The silent exclamation seemed to ring out in Kallindo's head, spreading a joyful tremor through his body. He had a wife!

In awe, Kallindo let his gaze travel down to the sleeping countenance of his new wife. There she was – lovely and soft as the petals of a newly opened flower – nestled safely in his arms. It was the stuff of dreams.

And yet, with great surety, Kallindo knew that this was not a dream. He could feel her, down to the very bottom of his soul. She was inside of him: in his heart and mind. Her very presence permeated him. This was the essence of their bond and it was…

"Breathtaking."

Calina stirred at the sound of her husband's voice, but she did not awaken. Kallindo was glad of that, for he garnered a very satisfying pleasure in simply gazing upon her. She was so tranquil and perfect, her soft breath warm on his shoulder. After a few more moments passed in this silent contemplation, he drew the courage to speak once more.

"I never thought of you as delicate before, but you are. Did you know that? As delicate as a spray of glass; strong and supple as the willows; beautiful as a winter morning with your silver hair." He drew his face closer to hers. "See… you even have me spouting poetry, you are so wonderful."

Kallindo's heart seemed to compress as a wave of tender protectiveness washed over him. "Thank you… thank you for making me a husband, for trusting me with your heart. From this day forward, it is my most prized possession."

And it truly was. The tension in Kallindo's heart suddenly released itself with a burst of joy. Of course! She was the dearest, sweetest creature in his entire world.

"Calina, my wife," he whispered, deliriously happy. "I cannot wait for you to open your starry eyes. I have so many things to tell you... the most wonderful things!"

* * *

No! It is not over yet…

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Soronhín: Q. "eagle child"

Danneniûl: S. "fallen embers"

Falas: S. "beach, shore"

Ránendë: Q. "moon pool"

Ehtúro: Q. "spear victor"

Oiratinwë Calamau: Q. "eternal spark/light hands"

atar/atto: Q. "father/daddy"

amil/ammë: Q. "mother/mommy"


	18. The Turning Point of Joy

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

* * *

Chapter 18.) The Turning Point of Joy

* * *

_I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need. _

- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

* * *

December 26, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor 

Recap:

"_Kallindo's heart seemed to compress as a wave of tender protectiveness washed over him. 'Thank you… thank you for making me a husband, for trusting me with your heart. From this day forward, it is my most prized possession.'" _

* * *

It is delicious to wake up in the tangled warmth of a wide bed with delicate sunlight dancing in your eyelashes and to know that, if you wish it to be so, you may disregard the call of the morning with impunity. Still better to know that the drowsy glow surrounding your body is due not only to the soft weight of blankets and sheets lying over you, but also to the body of your dear one lying snugly against you. Add to these potential good fortunes the giddiness which by nature attends a newly forged elven bond, and it is possible to experience, even if only for a brief moment, the state of pure and untainted bliss. 

This being the situation that Calina awoke to on the morning after her wedding day, it was not at all surprising that a smile began creeping across her face even before she had fully regained consciousness. Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she gazed with wonder around the softly lit room, tilting her head after a few moments to gaze on the sleeping countenance of her husband. Somehow, they had exchanged positions during the night and, instead of her head resting against his shoulder, she found that his face was nuzzled against her neck. She wanted to shift herself so that she could see him better but upon further consideration she noticed that his arms and legs seemed to be rather engaged with her own. And so, not wanting to wake him with her movement, she remained still.

As the moments slipped quietly by, Calina began to turn her mind toward the past days, attempting to analyze the changes that her relationship with Kallindo had undergone. Her efforts were not very fruitful. She could not discern any conclusive events or turning points in their intimacy. Though the previous night had wonderfully and drastically changed the realities of their bond, it seemed to her as though it were simply the natural continuation of a slow and mysterious march toward an equally mysterious, though longed for, conclusion. Looking back further, it was as though she and Kallindo had, over the past seven months, simply slid together like two wayward twigs in a stream: caught and held fast, however much they were jostled about in the currents.

Calina smiled at the image in her head. It seemed to suit. She could only hope now that their bond would be enough to carry them through any other rough waters that might lie ahead. In her mind she knew it would. It was a simple fact of their marriage, of the intertwining of their souls. But in her heart there were still, if she paused long enough to be aware of them, slight tremblings and remnants of her former fears. Her knowledge of the inequality of their affection, though not enough to deter her from becoming his wife, still itched. She fervently hoped that it would not become a mote in her joy; a joy which, at that moment, seemed almost complete.

Kallindo stirred slightly. A shiver laced across Calina's skin as all the points of contact between her body and Kallindo's became apparent. In half a moment Kallindo's eyes were observing her with the clear light of consciousness.

"Are you cold?"

Calina blushed and tried to hide her face in the pillow. "No… yes."

Kallindo's tender smile was lost on Calina. With a sweeping movement he pulled the blanket up around them both, cocooning them together within a dim cave of linen. This action did nothing to bring composure to Calina's disordered spirits. Though their noses were now a hairs-breadth away from touching, she resolutely avoided meeting his eyes.

"Fair morning."

Calina addressed herself to Kallindo's chin: "And to you."

A few moments of silence passed. Kallindo pulled closer to Calina and planted a soft kiss at the corner of her mouth.

"I meant to stay awake to greet you as soon as you awoke, but my body betrayed me. Did you rest well?"

Calina blushed again, bit her lip, and then tried for a pert reply. "I thought you had learned not to stay awake the whole night through on my account. We can't have you falling asleep in your porridge this morning, now can we?"

"Alas, you are right," Kallindo conceded merrily. "But you were a beautiful vision, with your hair unbound against the pillows. How could I willingly draw my eyes away from you? – Ah, there… I've succeeded in making you blush again."

It was impossible for Calina to resist the giddy shiver of mirth that was darting through her. She smirked most unwillingly and set her gaze back on Kallindo's chin. There was some meaning in his eyes that morning that quite flustered her.

"Would you like to know my other reason?" Kallindo whispered.

Calina's eyes met his briefly and then darted away again. She blew a few strands of hair out of her face as she tried to contain her curiosity. Her effort was wasted as the offending strands, caught amongst the blankets as they were, fell back down around her nose. She rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically.

"Alright, what was your other reason?"

Kallindo withdrew his arm from around her waist and brushed the hair away, sliding it safely behind her ear. "I had something very important to tell you. Would you like to hear it?"

Calina's curiosity was now truly piqued. "Is it pleasant news or unpleasant? I am of the opinion that unpleasant news should always be put aside until after breakfast, at the very least."

"Oh, but this is of the pleasant sort, and I shouldn't like to wait so long to tell you."

Calina nodded with approval. "Then do tell."

Closing his eyes from a moment, Kallindo let his hand slide down the length of Calina's hair, to settle once more at her waist. He opened his eyes and took a slow, deep breath, smiling broadly at his wife. Calina would have melted at the adorable aspect that her grinning husband presented had she not been utterly shocked by the next words that left his mouth.

"I love you."

With a strangled cry, Calina sat bolt upright in bed, feeling the sudden need for air. Her current state of undress suddenly became apparent as the covers slipped down around her waist. Instinctively, she clutched at a sheet and drew it up to hide herself, turning to Kallindo with an incredulous look as she did so.

"What?" she finally managed to breathe out.

Kallindo, somewhat nonplussed by her reaction, sat up himself and reached out to place a steadying hand on Calina's arm. She allowed the contact, but it seemed to be with some reluctance. Kallindo drew his hand away.

"I love you," Kallindo repeated tentatively.

"How could… when?"

"I understood it when I was watching you sleep last night; though I believe that I have been coming to love you for some time."

Though she tried desperately to contain them, Calina's face was soon wet with tears. Kallindo inched closer to her and drew her to him; for a few minutes she simply cried on his shoulder.

To Kallindo's great relief, the tears soon began to abate. However, he was, in his own turn, bowled over by what Calina said next.

"I don't know how to believe you."

Kallindo pulled away from Calina and regarded her in shocked silence. There was so much grief in his look that Calina instantly regretted her choice of words.

"I was preparing myself," she began brokenly, "to wait for you… as long as you needed. But, this is so sudden. I don't – I don't know how to understand it." A single tear escaped from beneath Calina's tightly closed eyelids. "But I _do not_ doubt your word, Kallindo. Forgive me. I… I believe you."

She opened her eyes wide, bewildered. Kallindo set his jaw stiffly, trying to puzzle out the situation.

"I suppose," he began slowly, "that in such cases as these, words have little weight. I had hoped that our bond would be enough… I–" Kallindo swiped a hand across his face and sighed heavily. "This is not how I envisioned this morning. I don't quite know…"

Even without their bond, Calina would have been able to easily perceive Kallindo's grave disappointment. His distress did more than his confession to soften her heart. She opened her mouth to speak – to try to sooth and explain – but she was cut off with a quick gesture from Kallindo.

"Please – a moment. Give me a moment."

Calina's brow lowered with worry. After a lengthy pause, Kallindo twisted his body around and began inspecting the room.

"Perhaps…" he whispered, distracted, before getting up off the bed.

Calina quickly averted her eyes. It was only a few moments later when she felt the bed sink down behind her.

"Will you allow me to attempt a better explanation?" he questioned, settling next to her.

She nodded slowly.

"You undoubtedly know what this is." Kallindo held out his hand, revealing the glass thorn she had given him those months ago. It was about the length of her longest finger, and now had a delicate cord tied to the base of it.

"Yes," Calina assented.

"When you gave this to me, you offered it as a token of remembrance. I told you then that I did not need anything to help me remember you, but I knew that it would comfort you if I kept it. When I settled into my new home I almost chose to relegate it to the back of a small drawer, but somehow that did not seem right, so I tied it to this cord and wore it ever after. I could not tell you why I did it, but I think I understand now why I never took it off again. It _did_ remind me of you – ever day, cool against my skin. It kept you with me always: a thorn in my flesh that would not give me peace. I cannot express to you how deeply, and more deeply each day, I felt the honor of your regard. You chose me, though I had never thought to be the turning point of anyone's joy. You _chose_ me. You honored me with the most precious thing you had to offer. How could I keep from responding to your heart? How could I help loving you? – though, it must be admitted, I am as slow as mud."

A choked laugh came out of Calina as she tried scrubbing fresh tears from her face. Kallindo gathered her against his chest and planted a soft kiss in her hair.

"Perhaps it is not the most romantic way to fall in love, but I believe it is as true. I was a parched man, tempted with a small drop of water. Every natural feeling led me onward; I was thirsty for more. And now," he lifted Calina's chin and held her gaze fixedly, "I have found the spring. And it is sweet and good and strong and lovely… and impudent and stubborn, and quite altogether wonderful."

A watery smile dawned clear across Calina's face even as she continued to sniffle. Kallindo returned her smile with a soft one of his own and quickly set about to combat her tears with a few strategically placed kisses. After this duty was completed, he pulled her down with him onto the bed and held her close, to help calm her still erratic breathing.

After Calina had regained at least some of her composure, she grinned broadly and moved in to place an exuberant kiss on Kallindo's lips.

"Oh, I do believe you!" she whispered, her hand caressing his hair. "And, I do so love you!"

"I am very glad to hear it. Shall we both love each other then?"

Calina nodded eagerly.

This was too much for Kallindo. His heart felt as light as when he was a child. With joyful mischief, he sat up and leaned over Calina, letting his index finger trail up to the point of Calina's ticklish ear.

She gasped and dissolved into breathless giggles as she tried, unsuccessfully, to pull away. "Oh no – that is not fair!"

When she finally did wriggle out of his grasp, she scooted backward on the bed and grabbed a pillow, raising it above her head defensively. The pair eyed each other with calculating glances.

She shook her head in mock disapproval. "I am _shocked_ to discover that my husband could be so unchivalrous. Don't you realize how disadvantaged I am in this war? _I_ do not know any of _your_ ticklish spots. How am I to defend myself?"

The impish light in Kallindo's eyes dimmed as he slowly removed himself to the foot of the bed. He gazed at his wife's confused expression for several moments before speaking.

"I daresay there are many, many things you still do not know about me, and as much that I do not know of you." He smiled. "Sit and talk with me a while."

Calina was happy to oblige. She sat near the headboard and Kallindo remained at the foot of the bed, each wrapped up in blankets. The conversation began with an enumeration of all Kallindo's ticklish spots – which he divulged with playful reluctance – and then moved on to other such nonsensical topics: their preferences for taking tea; their favorite festivals; whether works of historic prose were superior to historic ballads. Later on, Kallindo dwelt for the first time with any length upon his family, and expressed his desire for Calina to meet them. Calina in turn spoke of seasons spent with her cousins in the north, and how she had first met Oiratinwë and become enchanted with her art. They talked almost clear through the morning – each word seeming to bring to life half a dozen others – and their flow of conversation only came to a halt when Calina noted how very dry her mouth was.

There was a small table in one corner of the room upon which was set a decanter of wine, another of water, and two goblets. Kallindo quickly retrieved a goblet of water and brought it back to the bed. Calina thanked him sweetly for it, taking a few sips then setting it down onto the floor next to her side of the bed.

When she turned back, Kallindo beckoned her to lie down beside him. She did so and they were soon wrapped up in each other's arms and each other's blankets. Silence reigned for several moments as Kallindo made a show of studying his wife from all angles. She tried not to appear affected, but was horribly overthrown in all her attempts.

"You know, I find that you are thoroughly fetching in the morning."

Calina smirked wryly. "Do not you think that your opinion must be very biased, sir?"

"Nay," Kallindo shook his head resolutely. "It is an undeniable fact. You are captivating."

With a sly smile, Kallindo rolled over, pinning Calina beneath him and leaning in to claim her lips. He did not achieve his desired object, however, as Calina turned her head aside with a slight grimace.

"Yes, well, before you explore _that_ thought, perhaps you had better put the glass thorn away. You may not have noticed where you dropped it, but it happens to be poking into my left shoulder. I'd hate to get blood on these lovely sheets, should I become snagged against the point.

With a sheepish grin, Kallindo withdrew the offending article and tossed it carelessly to the other side of the room. Calina raised an imperious eyebrow.

"Are you now so reckless with my token of regard?"

"I no longer have need of it," Kallindo replied matter-of-factly. "You are a part of me now. Always."

Kallindo and Calina explored that thought, as well as many others, as the last hour of the morning slipped away. The result being that Lady Calamau was once again proven correct: the newly wedded couple did not come down for breakfast.

* * *

No! This is not the last chapter! 

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Oiratinwë Calamau: Q. "eternal spark/light hands"


	19. On the Brink: revised

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

* * *

**A/N**: 

As you all know, it has been quite some time since my last post. There were two reasons for this. First, that real life sucks. Second, that I was in something of a pickle as to deciding what the future of this story should be.

Some of you may be oblivious to the flurry of discussion that has been stirred up after my last post (Ch18: The Turning Point of Joy). If so, you probably thought everything was fine and dandy with the story. If not, you were probably involved in the discussion yourself. Across the two sites that I post this story on I know for a fact that Lalaith-Elerrina, MidenianScholar, HobbitKim, True2Tolkien, and Nyeren know what I'm talking about. The following is a discussion of some of the issues brought up through reviews and e-mails as well as what those issues mean for this story in the future.

On review of all the comments I have decided to split up my discussion in terms of things I regret and things I do not regret:

Things I Regret:

1: Not being as clear as I could have been about Kallindo's regard for Calina.

I like to think that Kallindo fell in love with Calina long before he realized it. I never stated that he was falling in love, but I hoped that I didn't have to. However, some people didn't see that in Kallindo. As a self-respecting former competitive debater I must now accept the fact that, if my audience did not come to understand one of my key points, I must not have communicated effectively. I'm not saying that I should have put the words "I love you," into Kallindo's mouth at some point before the wedding. But I do agree with something True2Tolkien said: he could have at least expressed to Calina that she was special to him and that he cared for her above any other friend. This was probably the most practical and reasonable suggestion that I received, and after I read it I had to wonder how in the world I hadn't thought of it originally.

2: Bringing in as much physical sappiness as I did.

I do not believe that all the physical intimacy was misplaced (more on that later), but in the last chapter I added a little more mush than was necessary because I wanted to have a pay-off for all the angst. If you accepted that Kallindo's love was true and that their marriage was legit then I'm sure you thought it was a lovely chapter. But if you were already feeling uncomfortable about the marriage then I'm sure that the physicality offended your sensibilities even further.

Things I Do Not Regret:

1: The essential idea behind the story.

I must admit, after re-reading and thinking over my story that I may not have executed my plan as well as I had hoped to. I had hoped to finish the story sooner, my life was hectic, and I was desperately trying to wrap things up toward the end. In my attempt to do so I may not have handled the situation with as much care as it warranted.

What was the essential idea you ask: **Love can grow from friendship, trust, and affection, even when it has to be built instead of being spontaneously acquired. **

2: The introduction of physical intimacy.

There were two instances of physical intimacy that I feel are important and befitting to the story:

Their first kiss comes about because Calina is worried over whether or not Kallindo finds her physically appealing. I think this issue needed to be raised. You can't have a real marriage without some sort of intimacy. Calina needed to know that Kallindo could truly view her as his wife, and Kallindo's admission of his attraction was perfectly appropriate under the circumstances. Indeed, the _fact_ that he found her attractive was perfectly appropriate under the circumstances, because if he did not he would not be have been able to be a husband to her.

The consummation of their marriage was, as I understand Elven marriages, crucial in actually forming the bond between them as man (elf?) and wife. In short, I believe that once K and C decided to wed they also decided to share a bed. This act should not be thought of as either casual or impulsive or forced. I see it as a natural and inevitable conclusion of their choice to be married.

3: My premise on Elven love

The premise was that it is very rare, though not impossible, for an elf to love more than once. I never said it was impossible. But I was playing off a notion that has not only been bandied around in fanfiction, but which could be seen as developing out of an elf's unusually long and vivid memory. I do not claim that this is what Tolkien wrote of elves, but I am not Tolkien and the rules of the world of my story, ultimately, have to filter through my own thinking.

Some people have taken objection to this idea, and to the circumstances of the story which it has fueled. To those people I can really only respond with the following: if you had a problem with it, intrinsically, you could have mentioned it when it came up in the second chapter. Now that eighteen chapters have come and gone I will pass on a piece of wisdom from my acting instructor: you must accept the given circumstances. It is useless to say "If only the rules had been different," or "The rules should have been different." At this point, I am not willing to change the rules. That will have to be for another story. The question is, if you accept the rules, can you understand better why things happened the way they happened?

In Conclusion:

I have decided to start from Chapter 14 and do some revisions. The changes to Chapter 14 (below) are not drastic. We will have to wait and see how much things change as I go along. For those of you who were content with the story up to this point, I have chosen to leave Ch14-18 intact and up on the two sites that I post on. I will therefore begin the revision with what I have titled Chapter 14b.

If you are not yet gorged with information, I have placed two letters below this chapter, which were responses that I wrote to Lalaith and to HobbitKim before I became far too busy and far to befuddled to continue debating the issue. They provide some more details into some of the issues mentioned above.

I will endeavor, in the near future, to personally respond to those who I have neglected to reply to over the last couple months (MidenianScholar, Lalaith, Nyeren)

And now, onward...

* * *

Chapter 14b.) On the Brink (revised)

* * *

"_But I, being poor, have only my dreams;  
I have spread my dreams under your feet_" 

William Butler Yeats

* * *

December 5, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor 

Recap: Three days since the last chapter. In an attempt to overcome her sorrow, Calina has chosen to return to her apprenticeship with the glass artisan Lady Calamau. Meanwhile, Kallindo has been giving much thought to his present trouble…

* * *

Kallindo walked down the cool hallway toward the warm light of the kitchen, but he did not enter it. Leaning instead against the frame of the door, he watched as Alassar – who sat at the table, surrounded by various waxes, oils, and rags – expertly re-strung the viol"" cradled in his lap. It was a beautiful instrument; it would make a fine addition to Alassar's steadily growing collection. 

Alassar finished with the last string and set the viol lovingly onto a swatch of velvet on the table.

"Welcome. I'm glad you have returned."

Kallindo nodded his acknowledgment of the greeting. Two mornings before, his head full of many tangled thoughts, Kallindo had left the city. He had gone before sunrise, leaving Alassar with no word of his departure, or any clue as to when he would return. His feet had taken the Middle Road southward, and by the afternoon of the first day he had found himself in Calina's small cave, which she had shown him that summer. The crispness of the wintry stone and the hum of the waves below had seemed to clear his mind, but there were still questions that were, as yet, unanswered.

"I'm sorry," Kallindo finally spoke, entering the kitchen and taking a seat opposite Alassar.

"I'll forgive you, I suppose," Alassar murmured with a half-smile.

The two friends stared at one another, then at the table. Kallindo cleared his throat and leaned forward onto his folded arms.

"I've made a rather horrendous mess of things, haven't I?"

A half smile danced across Alassar's lips as he stood and began to pack his supplies away in a dilapidated leather satchel. When he had finished, he slung the pack over his shoulder and picked up the viol with tender care. Kallindo waited in the kitchen while he went to put the newly acquired instrument in its place among his other treasures in the upper room.

When Alassar returned he sat down across from Kallindo, placed his folded hands on the table before him, and gazed at his friend with a serious air.

"What did you discover while you were away?"

Kallindo screwed his lips up and then relaxed them; brought his hands up on the table and drummed unconsciously with his fingers on the worn wood.

"I think… no – I know… that is, I want to…" Kallindo looked up distractedly and saw how much amusement Alassar was drawing from his current performance. "Oh, hang it all!" he cried, letting his face fall into his hands

Alassar laughed freely as he reached across the table to pull his friend's hands away from his face.

"Forgive me. It must be a revelation of vast proportions to give you so much trouble in the telling of it." Alassar suppressed his mirth. "I will be perfectly serious; come, speak. It will not seem so terrible once you have given voice to it."

Kallindo raised his head and looked morosely at his friend. A moment passed before he corrected his posture, straightened his tunic restlessly, and gave a curt nod toward the beckoning hand of Fate. He took a deep breath, then another. Alassar waited with great expectation.

"If I were to address… only my own wishes and happiness… I would wed Calina."

A heavy silence followed this declaration. Alassar watched in wonder as his friend's expression shifted between softness and grim uncertainty.

"I do not wish… to forever live as I have lived. I long to share myself with someone, and as I dwell on thoughts of her, I find more and more that she is someone who I _want_ to share myself with, as I had begun to do through our friendship. She would make me very happy. And if she were my wife, I would try my utmost to make her so. But…"

"Yes," Alassar prompted gently.

"I still do not think that my offer would be as it ought to be."

"In what way?" 

There was a lengthy pause as Kallindo searched for words that could slip past the pressure in his chest. "How can I ask for her hand when, after two hundred years, I still feel as though I am in shambles?" It was said; the pressure eased somewhat. "I do not cling to my former love, but that does not mean that I have not been blasted. For the first time since crossing to these shores I desire to pursue a maiden's good opinion, and yet I am held back by the horrible fear that she will actually accept me… only to discover later that I am not fit for anyone. It's all quite damning, really."

Alassar leaned heavily on the table, tracing the rough grain of the wood with his eyes. The answer seemed plain to him and yet it was hard to express in a plain manner.

"You undervalue yourself, my friend. You _were_ very much in love with Oloriel… I remember. But you let her go; you did not fade. It was beyond my expectations, and that of many others. You have a very strong heart – it is capable of miraculous things, I think. Any lady who has the good fortune to secure your affections should consider herself blessed indeed."

Kallindo made an incredulous noise in the back of his throat.

"Don't scoff. You take all the care of the world upon your shoulders and yet leave none for yourself. I suggest that you look briefly to your own interests, and give the lady the chance to do the same. Then, let the decision be made betwixt you, in open confidence, instead of in this single-sided, martyr-like way."

Kallindo's brow lowered in contemplation. His initial response was to rail against this depiction of his own conduct, but he knew that there was some sense in it. "That is a thought worthy of some attention, I believe. I will think on it."

A smile slowly dawned across Alassar's features. "For once my wise words have been accorded the proper respect. Usually they are written off as the poetic ramblings of a lowly minstrel. But come, enough of this trying subject! Have you yet broken your fast?"

Suddenly desiring the comfort that a quiet, mundane activity would bring, Kallindo acknowledged that he was in need of breakfast. And so, with great alacrity, Alassar hunted up the leftovers from his own repast, which he had taken earlier that morning. After securing the provisions, it was agreed that some fresh, brisk air would be preferable to the enclosed warmth of the kitchen. Donning thick cloaks, the pair headed for the small balcony on the upper floor, ready to brave the cold morning.

Alassar's home was actually only a small portion of a much larger house. This establishment was built around an inner courtyard over which his small portion of balcony looked out. The youngest member of the family which owned the house, a cheerful youth straining toward his majority, was busy drawing water from the well below when they stepped outside. Greetings were exchanged all around before Kallindo settled himself down to eat his breakfast. The small meal had ended, and the two elves were lounging quietly, wrapped up in their cloaks, before Alassar chose to breach the subject of their previous discourse once more.

"What are you going to do, at present?"

Kallindo loosened his cloak and leaned forward in his chair, elbows on knees. "I am uncertain. I do not feel as though I can simply walk back into Calina's life. If she were truly in danger I would not hesitate, but I believe I would have heard tell of it. And if she has already begun to put this behind her, who I am to come barging in with my own expectations? I would like to start from the beginning, perhaps have a chance to court her properly, though I'm afraid my skills in that area are rather meager. But I simply do not see where to begin. Does she even desire my intervention? I do not want to press her into a hasty decision."

Alassar considered the dilemma. "Is there anyone you would trust to give you an honest account of Calina's state? If you are set against travelling to Fanlítsë, perhaps you could write. The letters from the south should be arriving today or tomorrow, and carriers will be sent southward again soon after."

"Is there anyone I could trust?" Kallindo questioned the air softly. "Is there anyone who would give a plain answer? I trust Soronhín implicitly, but on this matter I cannot approach him. And I would not want to put Danneniûl in an awkward situation between her own husband and myself… Perhaps Ránendë; she has a quick wit, and a very steady head. She might do. But I do not know how much she has been told."

Alassar rose to go inside. "Be subtle, if you must, but please do something. If you bottle yourself up again I'm afraid that one day you'll wander off into the wilderness again and not come home for a few moons at least!"

Kallindo smiled and promised faithfully that, before the sun set, he _would_ do something. With this assurance, Alassar departed to earn some coin giving lessons on the harp to a few elflings that lived in the city.

It was almost noon by the time Alassar returned. A large smile was on his face as he tripped lightly across the threshold of the house. He enjoyed teaching the little ones, he was optimistic about the conclusion of his friend's troubles, and the journey homeward had provided him with a chance to exchange a few words with a lovely little maiden who had captured his attention recently. The day was turning out quite well. And, to add to the pleasantries, Alassar had, in the pocket of his cloak, a letter addressed to his friend, which came from Fanlítsë. He hoped it would contain something to either cheer Kallindo's spirits or spur him onward to even more daring actions than he had hitherto considered.

"Kallindo, are you here?" Alassar called out as he divested himself of his cloak and retrieved the letter. A muffled affirmative came from up the stairs.

Alassar took the steps two at a time and soon found Kallindo sitting at his desk, with a blank sheet of paper before him.

Kallindo smiled wanly. "A very short while after you left, Náriël begged me to help her carry some potted bulbs over to her brother's house. She then found it necessary to vent all her newly acquired gossip upon me over several cups of tea. I am only recently returned. And yet… I have been sitting over this arduous letter for at least five minutes," Kallindo tapped the paper with the feathered end of his quill, "As you see, I have not even been able to decide upon the salutation."

"Well then, put it aside and let your brain stew on it a moment. Perhaps this will give you some food for thought."

Alassar handed the letter over and went to put his harp away. Kallindo took the missive and flipped it over to look at the seal. Recognition of the sender sent a jolt through his entire frame. Of course, Alassar would not have been familiar with it; otherwise, he might not have delivered it in such a blithe manner.

With great trepidation, Kallindo broke the seal and read the contents of the letter. It was short and to the point. After a brief greeting Soronhín informed Kallindo that he was free to return to Fanlítsë. An invitation was also extended for Kallindo to dine with the Regent and his family at the earliest convenience, at which time, Soronhín hoped he could atone for the startling nature of their last encounter.

Kallindo stood up quickly and hurried to gather his things together. Hearing the commotion, Alassar found his friend in the spare room, packing, and questioned him anxiously, as to whether the letter had contained ill news.

"I am summoned back to Fanlítsë," Kallindo answered him, as he brushed by Alassar and made for the stairwell.

"For what purpose?" Alassar asked, hurrying after him.

"Soronhín says I may come home. I do not know what has happened, but do not doubt that it somehow concerns Calina." Kallindo paused at the doorway to the street and turned back to his friend. "Alassar…" His faced betrayed his anxiety as he laid a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I know, do not distress yourself. I am certain that all will be well. Truly it will. May Eru"" himself watch over your journey." Kallindo was already out of the door and well on his way when Alassar called after him: "Your horse is still stabled with Séregon!"

Kallindo turned even while his feet continued moving him down the street. "Yes, thank you. Thank you, Alassar."

Alassar watched at the doorway until his friend had disappeared between the houses of stone. "Yes," he whispered, "go get thee a wife." Then, with a chuckle, he lifted his eyes in supplication and turned back into his house.

* * *

Danneniûl had hardly put a foot across her threshold before Soronhín came to meet her, questioning her silently as he divested her of her winter cloak and took her cool hands into his own large, warm ones. Danneniûl graced her husband with an affectionate smile, but slowly withdrew her hands to bend over and take off her boots. 

"No, no," Soronhín chided softly, leading his wife gently, though inexorably, toward a cozy room down the wide hallway. He put aside the curiosity and unease that had been building in him all that afternoon, and focused for a few moments on pampering his wife. He sat her down by the fire and put a thick wrap around her shoulders, filled a mug of hot cider for her from a pot that hung simmering over the flames, and then knelt before her to remove her boots.

Danneniûl laughed gaily at the last touch and leant to place a kiss on the top of Soronhín's head. "Thank you, my heart. It _is_ bitterly cold outside, and the wind blows something terrible, but I am sure that this will soon revive me."

Soronhín smiled up at his wife. The boots dealt with, he settled himself at her feet, back resting against the base of the low couch which Danneniûl sat upon. She reached out and smoothed his silver hair.

"What was troubling you?"

"You were not here when I came home."

Danneniûl smiled softly. "I had to attend to a small dispute in Maivellë while you were gone. A rather spirited horse broke himself out of his fence and did some damage around the town. Some were afraid that the snow coming would hide all of the evidence for some time and they were not willing to be patient."

Soronhín nodded softly. "Did they accept your judgement?"

"They did," Danneniûl replied simply.

"I am glad you are home now," Soronhín said some moments later. "The house was very quiet."

"Falas is spending the night with Hravan and his family."

"I know. But it is strange to not have any of the children in the house."

Danneniûl hesitated before turning the conversation toward she whom they were both thinking of. "Do you think she will be alright?"

Soronhín turned himself so that he could comfortably rest his head against his wife's knee. He closed his eyes as she took up stroking his hair.

"I do not know," he finally breathed. "I cannot tell what the end of this will be. I am frightened for her."

Danneniûl stared bleakly into the fire, her heart heavy with sorrow for her suffering child.

"What has happened?"

Soronhín and Danneniûl both started at the unexpected interruption of their solitude.

"Kallindo!" The name leapt from Soronhín's lips as he stood to greet his friend. "So soon you have come. Come in, come in."

Kallindo stepped further into the room but did not remove his cloak or take a seat. "What has happened? Why did you call me back?"

Soronhín was puzzled by the urgency in Kallindo's voice, but he knew that the elf did care for his daughter, and was doubtless very curious about the unexpected summons.

"Please, Kallindo, sit. I shall answer all your questions."

Taking a chair mechanically, Kallindo leaned forward with an expectant air. "Where is Calina?"

"She is gone. She left this morning to return to Lady Calamau."

Kallindo stilled, leaned back into the chair somewhat, a little deflated. "She is alright?"

Soronhín and Danneniûl could not help but reveal their discomfort at the question. Kallindo easily understood the quick look that passed between them.

"Is she alright?"

Danneniûl gave a non-committal shake of her head. "She is not fading, but she is… not herself."

Soronhín interjected before Kallindo could reply. "She asked me to allow you to return home. It has always been very important to her that you should not be driven from this place. She has gone away, and hopes to distract herself with her craft.

"That will do little good," Kallindo replied wryly, thinking back to his own days of mourning.

"What would you have us do?" Soronhín questioned tightly, his frustration, anxiety, and remorse seeping out in bitterness. "I could not deny her."

Kallindo captured Soronhín's gaze and the two elves stood motionless, tussling over unspoken words.

_What would you have_ me _do?_, Kallindo's eyes seemed to say.

Soronhín's mind was riddled with doubt and worry. He couldn't seem to help his daughter and felt mired down in his own powerlessness.

_I do not know!_ Soronhín turned quickly and left the room, afraid of doing more damage by trying to meddle with the situation, and equally afraid of his ever increasing desire to meddle.

Kallindo did not pay heed to his friend's departure. He turned back to Danneniûl and asked of her the same question: "What would you have me do? I know the pain and the doubt and the numbness of time that Calina will endure. What would you have of me?

Danneniûl searched Kallindo's face for several minutes. Her voice was dry in her throat when she finally spoke: "Can you love my daughter?"

The pounding of Kallindo's heart was thick in his ears as he replied steadily: "I will try to love her as she deserves… I would do anything..."

Rising hastily, Danneniûl stepped up to Kallindo and held his face in her hands, cutting off his words as she pulled his head down to place a kiss on his brow. "Bring her back to me if you can. Bring her home."

Kallindo nodded dazedly. He could not find any words to speak.

"Go," Danneniûl whispered into his ear, "She needs you now."

Kallindo's horse was splashing back across through the icy water of the Ford before Kallindo himself was quite aware of where he was and how he had arrived there. His horse's coat was flecked with sweat. In his carelessness, Kallindo had ridden quite hard, not sparing his mount. Now that he had regained his senses, Kallindo knew that he must pace his journey.

Coming at a walk to the branch in the road, Kallindo turned his horse to follow the way that ran parallel to the mountains. The other path, which veered off in a westerly direction, led toward Alassar's city. The one he now took led through several smaller towns and then onward toward Tármírë, the principal city of the province of Eccaianórië.

As he urged his horse into a trot, Kallindo calculated that, if he rode diligently and did not tarry long to rest, he had a small chance of reaching Calina before she made it to the city. He hoped that he would indeed overtake her before Tármírë, as a city-full of elves would make it difficult to meet with Calina alone. He still was not exactly certain how such an interview would proceed, but for the first time in months he felt easy with not knowing. Something would come to him… something _had_ to come to him. There was no turning back.

* * *

A few miles back, the road had been transformed from a well-trodden dirt path into an even, stone-paved avenue, flanked by trees that in the spring were no doubt ladened with blossoms. But the trees were bare now, stark against the pale colors of the winter sunset. The wind had whipped itself into a hurried dance earlier that afternoon and at whiles fat, overly hasty snowflakes twirled recklessly down in its grasp. 

Calina knew that she was not far from the city, but she felt dull and weary. And the cold was not nearly so daunting to her as the thought of passing through the gates and being forced to speak and to explain and to pretend to listen. Bringing her horse to a halt, Calina slipped down and led the way toward a particularly gnarled old tree. On impulse, she climbed into the low, fat branches, and curled up against the bole of the tree.

'Just a few minutes,' she promised herself. A few minutes to let her limbs and eyes and heart rest.

It was some while later when Calina began to discern the clop of hoof on stone. But her mind was caught halfway between worlds and she paid the sound no heed. It was only when a hand touched her brow, sweeping her hair away from her face, that her perceptions came into focus.

A startled gasp escaped Calina's throat and no word or sound would follow it. A hand was extended to her, but she could neither refuse it nor take it. No thought or gesture seemed appropriate to the agonozing moment.

The elf before her gazed at her with worry, beckoned her to come down, then finally slid an arm around her back to take her from the tree's embrace. When her feet touched the ground Calina finally remembered how to move. Stumbling away from the elf, Calina leaned against the trunk of a neighboring tree, then slid down to rest at its base.

"Kallindo?"

Kallindo knelt down before her, saying something inconsequential about how cold she was. She squeezed her eyes shut.

"What are you doing here?"

Kallindo took off his own cloak and covered her with it. "I've come to take you home."

Calina shrugged the extra cloak away, tried to give it back to him. "I am not going back to my father's house. I am going to the city, to Lady Calamau. I cannot go back."

To Kallindo it seemed as though the whole world held its breath as he stood upon the brink. Dare he make his declaration? Was there enough courage in his whole being, scraped together and held fast in his good heart, to fill a few small words with such deep intent?

"Then I will not speak of your father's house," he began, his voice shallow, faltering. "But will you let me speak of my home, of _our_ home–"

A weary sob scraped out of Calina as she clambered away from him. "Do not speak these words! Do not give me more than what your true feelings dictate, I could not bear it, I do not want it. I promised myself that I would take as much as you would give me. So please, spare me. Do not ask… do _not_ give me that!"

Kallindo followed Calina, dropped down beside her, and drew her into his arms, holding her fast. How could he explain to her what was inside of him? How could he make her believe that this was what he wanted, what he desired? It would take time, patience, and many reassurances. But he could not bear to leave Calina as she was for one moment longer than was necessary – it would have to begin now.

"I do care for nothing in the world so well as you."

Calina froze in his embrace, though she trembled. Her lips opened but she could not, or would not speak.

Kallindo pressed on, his heart quaking: "You have stubbornly inhabited my thoughts since the day I met you. I do not attempt to know what that means, but you are there and I cannot pluck you out. And I do not wish to. I have so much to learn, but if– if you could find it in yourself to be patient with me… what I am trying to say… Calina…"

Kallindo drew her more closely against him, whispered against her hair: "It would be my joy and honor to be your husband. Will you have me?

At these few, simple words, Calina collapsed in his arms and wept, burying her face against his chest and trying to bury the pounding of her own heart. After several moments her tears became mixed with laughter, but it was a difficult mixture, which caused her chest to hurt and her hands to trembled more forcefully.

Kallindo reached over to where his cloak had been left against the cold ground and drew it around the both of them. He searched for words that would bring comfort, but for lack of them simply held her securely, striving to keep his own breath steady as a guide for her, though he felt on the verge of laughter or tears himself.

It was some time before Calina gained a semblance of composure. When she did, her hands sought out one of Kallindo's own. Brining it to her lips, she laid a kiss against it.

"Yes," she whispered, "Yes, and yes."

* * *

1. Here's a good picture of the type of viol I imagine Alassar might use: http/www.s-hamilton.k12.ia.us/antiqua/tviol.htm 

2. Eru: "The One." The creator of the Valar… and, basically, everything else.

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Alassar: "joy stone" Soronhín: Q. "eagle child" 

Danneniûl: S. "fallen embers"

Falas: S. "beach, shore"

Hravan: "wild one"

Oiratinwë Calamau: Q. "eternal spark/light hands"

Eccaianórië: Q. "outer sea region"

Maivellë : Q. "little gull"

Tármírë: Q. "lofty jewel"

atar/atto: "father/daddy"

amil/ammë: "mother/mommy"

* * *

Hey Lalaith, 

Wow... I had to do some thinking before I sat down to this e-mail. I feel like I can assuage some of your concerns, but I'm not sure if I'll give you the answers you want. To make my life easier I'm going to break your e-mail down into what I think are your main questions: Why did they have sex before Kallindo admitted his love? Why did they marry so quickly?

Point, the first...

On the question of sex, I'm gonna ask you to go out on a limb for me, but hopefully that limb isn't so very far out as you might imagine. First let me make a distinction between casual sex (or perhaps even forced sex, such as with Eol and his enchantments) and non-casual sex. Never apologize for disliking the idea of casual sex! I couldn't agree with you more. To have intimacy with someone for purely physical, selfish reasons is something I will never be able to comprehend. I myself am waiting for marriage, but I can at least understand people who have pre-marital sex because they are or think they are in love. I can't find anything redeeming about casual intimacy. However, I do not think you can class Kallindo and Calina's wedding night as "casual." The consummation of an Elven bond is, as I understand it, much more than simply a symbol of their bond, it is actually instrumental in creating that bond. We have to remember that Elves are not just humans with pointy ears. There are things about them that are drastically different. In my interpretation of Elves, the wedding ceremony is important, but it is the consummation of the vows that truly creates the bond between their souls. I don't think there were many other acts in Elven culture that were more solemn and less casual, as evinced by the fact that rape was the worst act an Elf could commit shy of kinslaying. When Kallindo and Calina chose to be married I believe that the question of "are we going to have sex" became null and void. As I tried to hint at in chapter 17, after the ceremony Calina and Kallindo could already feel something of a pull toward each other. It wasn't about Kallindo being horny and not able to wait, it was about the process of their bond already being in motion, with intimacy as its final conclusion.

Hopefully, if you can adjust your thinking in this imaginary setting to a new set of "rules" about intimacy, it will help ease your mind. However, you may still find that you think they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.

Point, the second...

I found myself in a very hard place when writing this story. The state of affairs I began with was as follows: "Elves only love once, Kallindo truly loved Oloriel, therefore Kallindo can't fall in love with anyone else." I dearly love the idea of eternal love, and I didn't not want to damage the idea that Elven love truly is very constant and enduring. I therefore came up with the idea that there was perhaps a difference between a love that was completed with a bond of marriage, and a love that was never sealed in that way. But even after that, it was a tricky business. And more and more, it wasn't just a tricky business for me, but it seemed a real problem for Kallindo. I know it came up in one of his conversations with Alassar -- if one love dies, how can you be sure that a second love is true? As I moved the story forward I became more and more convinced that something drastic would really have to open the way for Kallindo to admit that he loved Calina. In the end, I decided that a marriage bond - something far beyond anything he had ever experienced with Oloriel - would help him move past that stumbling block to see what was truly in his heart. You may still think that it was an impulsive move on their part, but I do not think it was selfish.

1.) Kallindo asks for Calina's opinion twice on whether they should wait or move forward.

2.) Kallindo believes he is protecting Calina from the same hellish experience he went through.

3.) Calina wants to be there for Kallindo, no matter what, and believes that she will win him in the end.

4.) Both elves understand what is happening - there is no deception.

5.) Both elves believe that once their souls are bond, there is a very good chance that things will work themselves out right in the end.

I must also admit that I wanted to explore this kind of situation with a story, and Kallindo and Calina provided a good opportunity. I wanted to explore how love can grow from friendship, trust, and affection, even when it has to be built and doesn't just spring up spontaneously. I also think that even these simple foundations are more sturdy than many of the ones that some people build their marriages on. I hope there was never any doubt that there truly was friendship, trust, and affection between K and C, and I hope you will agree that with such a starting point, there was a very good chance that romance would follow after.

I have to run to class now, so I can't even look back over this and find the stupid spelling/grammar errors that I'm sure are littered throughout this e-mail. Be kind.

Thank your for your involvement in this story. Way to keep your thinking cap on! Don't apologize for your questions; it was actually a fun exercise trying to explain my thoughts clearly on this issue. Thanks... gotta run!

Iluvien

* * *

Hello Kim, 

Actually, no, you are not the only reader who has expressed concern over Kallindo's actions. Two other readers on another fanfic site also voiced their opinion, though theirs and yours I think are all slightly unique. Before I address your argument, let me first clarify what I perceive as the root of the problem.

1.) Kallindo is still in love with his former flame when he marries (and has intimacy) with Calina.

This means that...

2.) I have contorted Elven nature

3.) I have made the marriage into a selfish, unlovely thing

My Answer:

1.) I never meant to imply that Kallindo was still in love with his old flame (Oloriel), though you and one other person have drawn that conclusion. If he had been in love with Oloriel then I agree with you that marrying Calina would have been a very selfish and stupid thing to do.

I did not want my characters to be without fault in this story. The weaknesses that I was trying to bring to light in Kallindo's characters were a lack of ambition and a tendency to underestimate himself. In the context of his love-life this means that his first disaster with love has caused him to be cautious, skeptical, and untrusting of his own heart.

For reference, see the excerpts from Ch. 14 below:

Kallindo:

"I thought I loved once. If I did indeed love Oloriel, but I come to love Calina, then what constancy do I have? If I did not, in fact, love Oloriel, but was utterly convinced that I did, then what perception do I have of my own heart? What faith can I place in my own judgement? – None."

Alassar:

"Is it… Do you doubt yourself because you believe that if your first love faded, than any other love might be as unstable?"

Kallindo:

"In a way… yes," he replied softly.

Alassar:

"But your love for Oloriel did not fade – you consciously put it aside, did you not?"

2.) If you're willing to accept that Kallindo was not still in love with Oloriel when this story took place, then I think I must be acquitted of contorting the nature of Elves. You may still think the marriage was stupid (though I will address that further below), but Tolkien never implied that Elves don't do stupid things sometimes. Also, Tolkien did mention the idea that there were Elves who married, not out of passionate love, but out of free and willing consent (the reference escapes me at the moment, but it's there).

3.) I was trying to do something in this story that was a little tricky and unusual, but that I also thought could be wonderful if I pulled it off. Reasons I may not have pulled it off: Not enough time spent diligently planning. Not enough time spent re-writing. Not enough in-text explanation of all the behind-the-scenes philosophizing and character-construction I was doing. All of these are possibilities.

What I had hoped to accomplish was a romance that was built more fundamentally and overtly upon things like friendship, loyalty, affection, like-mindedness, camaraderie, and yes, even self-sacrifice than you see in many modern romance stories. I highlight self-sacrifice because I think that is what some people aren't seeing at the moment. Here's how I was hoping people would interpret the motives of the two:

Kallindo:

Comes to truly admire, care for, and value Calina (Ch. 1-11)

Not prepared to admit that he loves Calina. Won't let Calina sacrifice her life for him (Ch. 13)

Kallindo sees that Calina needs him and, in an admittedly impulsive manner, offers himself as her husband (Ch. 14)

Kallindo lays his reasons out before Calina, not deceiving her, and she accepts (Ch. 15)

Kallindo endeavors to be attentive to and solicitous of Calina's needs and desires; which is made all the easier because he truly does care for her (Ch. 16-18)

And yes… the fact that Kallindo finds Calina attractive does come up (Ch. 16), but only to ease her own uncertainties. I think it is neither unnatural nor improper for Calina to want to know that the man she loves will truly be able to see her as his wife. And I think it is perfectly acceptable for Kallindo to be taken with the woman that he has initiated a relationship with.

Kallindo sleeps with Calina and finally understands his love for her on their first morning as a wedded couple (Ch. 17). IMPORTANT: The way I interpret Elven culture, intimacy is, in itself, the point at which two Elven souls are bound together. So, 1.) Since they both chose to marry, Kallindo was not being a horny, selfish beast by taking Calina to his bed, and 2.) Kallindo's perception of his feelings should be understood to have come from the spiritual bond that is a result of their physical joining, not as from some after-thought to the pleasure of having sex.

Calina:

From the first, she is interested in Kallindo's welfare and begins to make it her own concern (Ch. 1-11)

She struggles not only with the idea that she can't have Kallindo, but that Kallindo will continue to be alone (Ch. 11)

Though determined to go on with her life she is desolate (Ch. 13-14)

When Kallindo asks for her hand, she accepts him because she believes that if Kallindo wants the marriage in his own right, and not just out of pity for her, that they will be able to make something good of it (Ch. 15-16)

I could probably write more about this, but at the moment I am just tired. And I have to wake up tomorrow morning at 6:15… yuck.

You may still not like what I did. But I hope you at least have a better understanding of why I did what I did.

Iluvien


	20. Why?: revised

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

* * *

Chapter 15.) Why? (revised)

* * *

"_Nothing in the world is single; _

_All things by a law divine_

_In one spirit meet and mingle._

_Why not I with thine?"_

Percy Bysshe Shelley

* * *

December 8, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor

Recap:

_Kallindo drew her more closely against him, whispered against her hair: "It would be my joy and honor to be your husband. Will you have me?_

"_Yes," she whispered…_

_

* * *

_

Calina's back stiffened with a deep shudder. She closed her eyes and took in a long, slow breath, leaning further into Kallindo's warmth. His hand was still grasped firmly within her own and she laid a kiss upon it before drawing it down to cradle against her chest. It was a warm and tangible reminder that she was indeed awake, and not still perched up in the cold tree dreaming cold dreams.

Kallindo did not attempt to withdraw his captured hand. Instead, he adjusted the grip of his free one to hold the cloak more snuggly about them both. Despite his efforts, the chill air began to send tremors across Calina's skin.

"You are so very cold." Kallindo finally broke the silence between them.

Calina shifted herself so that she could look out above the edge of the cloak at the snow-spattered air. She saw her breath frosting in front of her eyes as she looked toward the flat eastern horizon, toward a small slate-gray strand, which was the sea. She was reminded of the first time that she had seen the ocean from the turret in her grandmother's house, on a bitter winter's day.

"As a child, do you know what I wished for?" She murmured softly and unobtrusively, not really seeking an answer. "I wished that I could turn into a thick-skinned sea turtle and slip into the sea, or close myself up inside one of those great big shells. You see, I was convinced that the turtles were keeping _great secrets_ inside of those shells."

Kallindo watched silently as Calina rose from his embrace. Pulling her own cloak about her, she took two steps toward the east and tried to discern where it was that the gray sky dipped into the frosty sea. A startled smile burst across her lips as a large, dopey snowflake landed squarely on her nose. With a small shake of her head she turned back to Kallindo, took two steps, and knelt down before him.

"I imagine, that if I really were a sea turtle I would not be nearly so cold as I am at this moment. But I would not choose to be one now for anything, because I no longer care for the secrets in their shells."

Kallindo held his breath as Calina framed his face with her icy hands and searched his eyes. "I only care for the secrets in a certain elf's heart," she continued in a whisper, "and if I was in the sea and he was on the land, I would be beside myself with grief. I can be patient; I can, Kallindo. But you must promise me… _promise me_ that we will not be parted again. If this is what you want then you must promise or turn back. I cannot-"

"Shhh," Kallindo whispered softly, inching forward and raising both hands to smooth her hair away from her face. He could see the sudden blaze of fear in her eyes. "I promise. I do want this, and I promise."

Calina's eyes glazed over once again with tears. She smiled timorously and ducked her head.

"Oh, how can this be?" she finally whispered. "I do not understand any of this."

Kallindo looked around at the quickly falling light. This was not the best time or place to enter into a prolonged discussion, and the coolness of Calina's skin still worried him.

"We cannot stay here any longer," Kallindo spoke gently.

Calina raised her head - chin set in a stubborn line, lips yearning to speak. Kallindo smiled without thinking. "Trust me," he urged, standing up and extending his hand toward her. After a brief hesitation, she laid her own, delicate white one in his.

Pulling Calina to her feet he settled the hood of her cloak around her face and tucked in a few stray locks of hair. "You must trust me now, Calina. Please trust me."

* * *

The sun had disappeared below the horizon, taking with it its meagerly bestowed warmth, when the pair entered Tármírë. There was little conversation between them as the chill and the weariness of the journey got into their bones. Each was eager to be safely within the walls of Lady Oiratinwë Calamau's house and out of the forbidding night.

After having rung the sturdy bell that hung over the gate from a delicate, arching metalwork, they waited. Kallindo stood a little way off with the horses. Fortunately, it was only a few moments before a lantern appeared in the gloom on the other side of the courtyard. Calina watched expectantly as the bobbing light wove its way toward her.

"Soronhíniell, is that you?" Lady Calamau herself had come out with the lantern. Her sharp eyes now roved over the figure before her, trying to dip beneath the hood of Calina's cloak to confirm her suspicions. But it was a needless exercise - she knew that chin, and the curve of that pert mouth.

"What a day to be traveling," she continued, without letting Calina reply to her previous question, "And who did you haul across the country with you in the middle of winter? Good elf. He shall have some of my spiced tea for that. But you? You I do not know what to do with. You are like a leaf in the wind, coming and going and coming, like the Younger Children: everything done so quickly."

The gate had by that time been opened, and Calina had stepped through, pausing to lay an affectionate kiss on the elder she-elf's cheek. "And I am pleased to see you as well, mistress."

Lady Calamau started back slightly. "Goodness child! Lips as cold as ice!"

Kallindo was still hesitating in the street, unsure of what should be done with the two horses when the lady of the house shooed him in.

"Come, come! I keep three stalls in a small stable on the far side there. I am afraid I do not keep it provisioned very well, as I do not keep a horse myself, but there should be some hay, blankets, and a barrel of dry grain. I will send one of the students out to help you. We must be quick or we'll all freeze into doorposts. Calina, follow me."

Taking the lady's invitation gladly, Kallindo brought the horses through the gate and made it his business to tend to their needs. Calina tried to go with him and care for her own horse, but he firmly sent her off in the care of their hostess, saying that her numb fingers would do none of them any good. Calina attempted to look cross at first, but she was over-ruled by both her companions and so relented.

Calina walked with Lady Calamau toward the northern side of the courtyard where an open door let light spill out onto the frosted ground. Soon they were both inside, settling themselves down into a cozy, book-riddled little room, with mugs of spiced tea, awaiting the return of Kallindo. Oiratinwë smiled with amusement over the rim of her mug at the display before her: Calina was attempting to casually watch the doorway while displaying all the disinterestedness of a cat in front of a mouse hole.

It was not long before Kallindo found them in their comfortable corner of the house. However, upon stepping into the room, he was hesitant to join them within the soft glow of the firelight. His first instinct had been to join Calina on the settee that she had chosen, but her jittery air, immediately apparent, gave him pause. However, the only other alternative was an over-stuffed chair that had been wedged between two bookshelves into the far, dim corner of the room. It seemed a cold and unwelcoming prospect. Lady Calamau sat between the two positions, keeping her thoughts to herself as she watched Kallindo glance quickly between the far seat and the near. Calina was staring steadfastly into her mug of tea, as though determined not to give him her opinion one way or the other.

After a very pregnant pause, Kallindo slipped down beside Calina. There was just enough room for two on the settee and each of them tried to be unconcious of the fact that their arms were touching. Somehow sitting side-by-side before a civilized fire seemed more strange and unnerving than huddling together on the frozen ground outside.

Oiratinwë, pleased with his decision, poured the elf a generous mug of tea, which Calina passed over. His hand brushed against hers in the exchanged and each drew back quickly. However, it was only a moment before Kallindo reached out once more and touched her hand.

"Your fingers are still cold."

With that, he immediately rose to retrieve a throw that lay across the rejected chair in the corner. Despite Calina's meager protests, he soon had the blanket situated around her shoulders and was once more seated next to her, finally pausing long enough to take a sip of his own tea.

Oiratinwë thought the pair quite diverting. "Shall you introduce me to your friend?" She inquired.

Calina looked up into the steady gaze of the master glass artisan. "Forgive me. This is…" Calina froze for a moment, unsure of what to reveal. "This is Kallindo," she finally finished, lamely.

Kallindo did not stir or make any sign of being offended by her weak introduction. Calina pressed on. "He is of Fanlítsë, though his family is spread across many provinces."

"Then you are from across the Sea?" Calamau discerned.

"Yes," Kallindo replied, wrapping his long fingers around the warm mug. "I dwelt in Lothlórien. Much of my family still chooses to live under the Lord and Lady's rule here, but we were all free to choose otherwise, and several of us did."

"Well, I am glad that you chose to do so, and were thus available to escort my young friend on her rather foolhardy errand. I still do not understand what you were thinking, Calina, coming up the coast this far in winter." Oiratinwë turned a knowing smile on Kallindo. "Ah well, she is still a child in many ways, and so we must forgive her."

The observation, which Oiratinwë knew to be quite false, was made with deliberate calculation. I little jab at the obvious weakness of the match that seemed to be forming before her very eyes could prove to be quite informative.

Calina stared blankly at Lady Calamau. 'You are up to something, Old Lady. I wish you would stop it.'

Kallindo took a long sip of his tea and favored his host with a dry smile. "Calina is not in the least a child. She had a very good reason for coming, and is quite capable of making the trip without an escort. I am simply gratified that she allowed me to accompany her."

Oiratinwë nodded approvingly. "You have a staunch defender, Soronhíniell. I think I shall like him. Now, will you tell me the whole story, or shall I send him away first?"

Two pairs of eyes suddenly found the contents of their respective mugs very interesting. The tips of Calina's ears went slightly rosy.

Several moments passed before Calina spoke up in a clipped tone: "I am sorry, Kallindo. I did not think to warn you that the _Old Lady_ is infuriatingly perceptive, and quite shockingly blunt."

Oiratinwë laughed. "I _knew_ that was what the novices called me when they thought I wasn't listening! Though they needn't have gone to the trouble of trying to be discreet. I enjoy being old - when one is old one can laugh at the follies of youth. Now come, good friend Kallindo. Let me show you to a spare room so that I may have Calina all to myself. I am not a patient sort, and I know she will not speak as long as you are in the room."

Kallindo was torn between indignation and amusement; the whole situation was entirely too ridiculous. And yet, he was not about to let himself be incapacitated by the outlandish personality of his host.

"Might you give us a moment please, madam?" Kallindo asked in a polite tone, which had a touch of command simmering round the edges.

Lady Calamau smiled. Yes, she liked this elf very much.

Calina watched distractedly as Oiratinwë left them and walked out into the hallway, knowing that the she-elf would still be able to hear anything that was said. Her attention was gathered back to Kallindo when he gently took her mug away from her and folded her hands within his own.

"And so it seems we must part," Kallindo murmured.

Calina met his gaze, inclined her head slightly in agreement, but did not reply.

"We will talk on the morrow. Goodnight." A slight squeeze of the fingers accompanied his unremarkable words, making them somehow very precious. "May your dreams be incomparably sweet."

An artless, tentative smile pulled at Calina's mouth. "Goodnight," she whispered, afraid to say anything more.

Kallindo rose quietly and left the room. Oiratinwë moved in front of him, leading him down the hallway toward some unknown part of the rambling house. Lady Calamau's home was replete with indoor and outdoor workspaces, and storerooms for her craft, but aside from a small gallery, which could function as a reception area, the modes of living were simply squeezed into whatever cracks and crevices remained. It was a few minutes before the lady returned.

Calina could not help but glare daggers at her host. Was there never a time when that lady did not speak her mind?

'And some people dub me impertinent?' she huffed silently.

Oiratinwë took up Kallindo's recently vacated seat. "Will you be angry with me forever, do you think? It's not as though you were truly fooling anyone - I did not _expose_ anything. The air was so thick between you I could have sliced a bit off and spread it across my morning biscuit."

Calina's demeanor softened, though she still turned exasperated eyes upon her teacher. "Can you not ever leave things as they lie, _Old Lady_. It is a wonder I kept my sanity, even living here for a mere ten years!"

With a gentle laugh, Oiratinwë pulled Calina into her arms, and began sliding her hand along the younger elf's hair. "There, there, don't fret. And yes, I am very capable of letting some things lie, and have done so many times in my long life, but not this. And now I am going to say something that you will not like at all, but it must be said, and then you can contradict me soundly."

Calina nodded her head wearily.

Lady Calamau took a few moments to compose her words before beginning: "I received your letter two days ago. You gave no explanation as to your coming, and the missive was devoid of any of your usual chatty pleasantries. I come out to the gate this evening and find a very grave pair of elves, one of whom is a complete stranger to me and has as yet given no reason for his coming. Now, I have a good feeling about this young lord, and since I have sat with you and he I would swear against the doubts I am about to express, but I must ask the question. Are you in any sort of danger or trouble? Has Kallindo-"

"No." Calina straightened and met Oiratinwë's gaze head on. "I know that you have seen many dark and unexpected days, but Kallindo is in all things very honorable."

"Didn't I tell you?" Lady Calamau smiled brightly. "A very sound, unaffected defense. I believe you. But, now that my motherly anxiety has been set to rest, my curiosity runs rampant. You really must tell me everything, or I shall never be able to sleep tonight."

Calina smirked, shaking her head at the indefatigable she-elf. Her conclusions were confirmed: had Oiratinwë been born to the race of men, she would have made a wonderfully outlandish old biddy. The Old Lady loved gossip almost as much as she loved her craft.

And so, as the night wore on, Calina poured out the tale to Lady Calamau. And quite naturally, she poured out her heart as well, filling her teacher's ears with the turmoil, uncertainty, and joy that ran wild inside her. Oiratinwë sensed that it was a cleansing act, and so she listened patiently and quietly, with a supportive shoulder, calming hands, and a very large pot of her spiced tea.

* * *

"You are an early riser I see. My, but your good qualities do keep mounting up." Lady Calamau rustled down the hallway in her eccentric skirts, clasped one of Kallindo's hands warmly within her own. "I see that you braved my bewildering hallways."

Kallindo inclined his head. "I was restless this morning. And I was not without a guide."

Oiratinwë looked slightly surprised. "I find it hard to believe that any of my students have suddenly gained an appreciation for the wee hours."

This observation brought a reluctant smile to Kallindo's lips. He was still rather uncertain as to how he should approach the lady before him, but her easy manner was disarming. "No. You mistake me, madam. I was referring to the heady scent of fresh nut bread and," he paused for effect, "_spiced tea_, which is drifting from the hallway that branches left behind me. I can only assume that the kitchen is in that direction. I have always found that if one can find the kitchen, everything else becomes a little easier."

Oiratinwë laughed, delighted with Calina's chosen, and in that very moment, became committed to the union. She slipped a hand conspiratorially around Kallindo's arm, and began leading him away from the tempting smell of nut bread.

"I like you very much, Kallindo. And Calina likes you a sight more than I. Would I be correct in thinking that you like my young pupil very much?"

Lady Calamau paused long enough for Kallindo to smirk at her nosiness and give a short nod.

"Good. So here is where we are: I like you both, and Calina likes you, and you like Calina. But, unfortunately, Calina is plagued by a very pernicious anxiety. You see, she is still worried deep down by the thought that you, compassionate and selfless as you are, may be only trying to protect her, as a brother would his sister. Is this true?"

Kallindo stopped short as they stepped out into the front courtyard. "I assume Calina has told you all of the story as she knows it, and thus that she trusts you. I will therefore be plain with you. I do wish to protect Calina… but though she is as dear to me as a sister could be, she is most decidedly _not_ my sister. If you take my meaning."

Oiratinwë narrowed her eyes in a calculating manner. "If you would permit me to counsel you I would say that you should tell Calina these things very plainly and very soon. But not now; at present, I have another task for you."

Kallindo took a speculative look around the courtyard. "What would you have of me?"

Lady Calamau smiled broadly, withdrawing a folded piece of parchment and handing it to Kallindo. "I had planned on going to the market today. These are the things I need. Be sure to dawdle as long as you possibly can. I have matters of import to discuss with Calina this morning and I do not want you around to muddle her thoughts. Do not, on any account, be back before lunch!"

* * *

It was with some great trepidation that Kallindo, upon his return at noontime, relieved himself of his newly acquired burdens and began collecting his thoughts for an encounter with Calina. After spending a few minutes in a failed attempt at crafting his opening address, he left the kitchen and began wandering the halls. It was not long before he finally met one of Lady Calamau's illusive pupils, hard at work organizing different pigments and fillers in a small storeroom that had its door ajar. Without being asked, the young elf offered up that the Old Lady and Calina could be found by taking two rights, going through the lattice doorway, and veering right once more.

Kallindo soon found himself stepping out into the thin, winter sunlight. Calina and Oiratinwë were at the center of a tiny, sleeping garden, with their profiles to him, speaking in an animated fashion. At that moment, Calina's head tipped back with unguarded laughter. Kallindo paused to watch her, enchanted. Her whole body seemed to be wrapped up in the humorous tale that Lady Calamau was weaving. She twisted away from the lady, her shoulders scrunched up as she raised her hands to ward off the deluge of words that was streaming over her. She leaned forward then, still laughing, and raised a hand to her chest.

"Stop it!" she protested, still trying to quell her mirth. "I cannot breathe! Oh - you are very naughty, Old Lady. I shall never be able to think of- "

The words were cut off abruptly, as Calina became aware of Kallindo's presence. For an instant, all expression slid from her face and dropped down into her hands, which suddenly bagan to fiddle with the hem of the tunic she was wearing. Then, with a great effort to appear easy, she straightened her posture and forced her lips into an imitation of a casual smile.

Lady Calamau, seeing the change in her friend, turned slightly and took in Kallindo's appearance. She nodded a silent greeting then turned back to Calina and laid a kiss on her forehead before rising.

"Ask him," she commanded firmly.

Calina's eyes lifted, wide and anxious, and the two she-elves had a battle of wills for a few moments before the younger finally dropped her head in defeat. Lady Calamau approached Kallindo and laid two reassuring hands on his shoulders. She did not need to speak, but Kallindo understood his own silent mandate: _Tell her_. With a satisfied smile, Oiratinwë left the two in peace.

Kallindo walked over to Calina and sat down beside her, leaning forward to brace his elbows against his knees. Calina continued to fiddle with her tunic. For the first time, Kallindo noticed that she was not wearing a dress. Instead, she was attired in a particularly grimy set of legging, with an over-sized tunic. Her hands were smudged and smoky. By the evidence, Kallindo would say that she had been working at a kiln that morning.

The silence lengthened between them. Abruptly, Kallindo stood and swung one leg over the bench so that he could straddle it. Facing Calina head on he prepared himself to begin his poorly prepared speech. Calina spoke first.

"Why? Why now? What happened while you were away that made you want to marry me? Tell me how these things have come to pass and that they are not going to fly away again tomorrow."

Her eyes were cast downward, toward the section of wooden bench that separated them, fingers still clenching and unclenching. Kallindo had the absurd desire to gather her fretful hands within his own and congratulate her for being brave enough to speak first. He did not congratulate her. He did capture her fingers within his grasp.

"Would you like the long explanation or the abbreviated tale?" He tried to enfuse his tone with lightness.

Calina looked at their entwined hands and then finally turned her face up to meet his eye, all seriousness. "I would like the abbreviated tale, please. I don't want any long explanations. I just want something simple that I can understand."

Kallindo was rather surprised by her answer. He hadn't been preparing himself for the short version. Straightening his back, he cleared his throat once and took the plunge.

"I care for you - I care for you very much." Kallindo tightened his grip on her hands and took a deep, steadying breath. "But, for a time, I could not bring myself to believe that that was good enough. For you, that is. And then… well, I know first hand what it is that you would suffer, were I to reject you, and I could not bear to see that. And… ah…"

Kallindo dropped his eyes, the memories of centuries flooding his gaze for a moment and taking his breath away. He felt caught inside a spell, weighed down by silence and time, unable to speak the words that were tearing up from his heart. For some inexplicable reason, he wanted to cry. The feeling was almost overwhelming, but it too was lodged somewhere between his heart and his lips, unable to break free.

With unexpected sweetness, Calina adjusted the lay of their hands, weaving her fingers with Kallindo's strong ones and giving them a gentle squeeze. Kallindo looked up into Calina's face and found a beautiful answer there, to a question he hadn't even known he was asking.

"I am lonely for a mate," he finally whispered, letting the truth have its own way. "It is past my time and I long for it dearly, and I would do everything I could to make you happy."

Calina's face did not betray her thoughts as she leaned forward and rested her head against Kallindo's chest. She was seated too far away from Kallindo for him to comfortably gather her into his arms, but he brought his hands up and slipped them around the back of her neck, buried them in her hair.

"Thank you. I understand that," she whispered. "It would be my greatest pleasure to be your wife, Kallindo. But I think we must settle one thing between us from the beginning. If you are to look after my own happiness, then you must allow me to look after yours."

Kallindo closed his eyes, content beyond words to be sitting there in that cold, barren garden with his future wife. He felt the blessing of all that had been given to him and true gratitude welled up in his heart.

The two sat in silence for many minutes, content in their decision. However, their peace was not to be left unbroken for long.

"Did you ask him?" Lady Calamau poked her head into the garden and gave Calina a hard stare.

Calina groaned and looked away. Kallindo's eyebrows shot up. Hadn't she already asked him _the_ question? Wasn't the 'why' behind all of this her greatest concern?

"I can't," Calina pleaded, "Please, do not make me. It is so-"

"She wants to know if you find her enticing." Lady Calamau broke in matter-of-factly. "There, was that so very hard?"

Kallindo's jaw dropped ever so slightly at the elder lady's temerity. Turning back to Calina, he couldn't help but notice that she was blushing furiously. The sight was oddly endearing.

"I… that is, I know I am not a child," Calina began, face still turned away from Kallindo. "But I might as well be one. I am very young compared with you and I must seem rather… immature and child-like at times. I… I thought that… oh never mind!" She covered her face with one hand and waited desperately for the most embarassing moment of her life to reach its climax.

Kallindo wanted to laugh, but felt that such a reaction would certainly not be taken well. Of all the things to be worried about, her desirability was certainly not one of them. She was a lovely, vibrant young maiden. How could she possibly every doubt herself?

Sending a glare at Oiratinwë to ensure her departure, Kallindo eased closer to Calina on the bench and leaned into her.

"Look at me," he commanded softly.

Calina didn't move.

"Please, look at me."

With half-hearted compliance, Calina twisted around toward him and stared fixedly over his left shoulder. Before she could fright away, Kallindo leaned in closer and pressed his lips to hers. She was obviously startled by the bold move; Kallindo quickly slid his hand around her neck to hold her to him as he continued to taste her sweet mouth. Slowly, ever so slowly, she relaxed under his touch. He smiled into her lips as she timidly began to respond to his caress.

It was with great regret that Kallindo finally drew away. Calina waited a long moment before opening her eyes and staring up at him in wonder. Her gaze pulled at the elf to steal one more kiss; he leaned in slightly but then hesitated, pulled back, and then moved to whisper close against her ear: "Not desire you? …Calina, my entire body is humming."

And so saying, Kallindo laid a quick kiss on her jaw and rose. However, he did not get very far as Calina stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"You're not going already?" She questioned softly, clearly confused by his swift departure.

"I thought we might both benefit from a little distance. Of course, if you wish… that is, perhaps when you have finished with Lady Calamau at the kiln we could speak again."

Kallindo motioned toward her clothes. Calina seemed to come back to herself.

"Yes. She did invite me to return and help her this afternoon. I had not… Well, then I shall see you again, soon."

Calina nodded her head firmly and rose, grasping her hands in front of her. The two now stood facing each other, neither one quite sure how to go about parting.

After a lengthy pause, Calina favored Kallindo with a steady smile. "Thank you. I needed to know that."

Kallindo felt the warmth of Calina's smile and his spirits lifted. "Farewell, Soronhíniell," he murmured, letting his hand touch her face for a moment.

He thought to say more, but was discouraged by the sound of someone approaching the garden. Making a small bow, he retreated quickly, just as an oblivious student padded out into the tiny courtyard to tell Calina that the Old Lady was asking for her.

* * *

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Soronhín: Q. "eagle child"

Oiratinwë Calamau: Q. "eternal spark/light hands"

Soronhíniell: Q. "daughter of Soronhín"

Tármírë: Q."lofty jewel"


	21. Something Beautiful: revised

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

**A/N**: Hello everyone! Sorry I made you wait for this. I had to get through my final examinations. But now, I am embarking on three-and-a-half weeks of freedom! This revision is not vastly different, but I anticipate a pretty large re-working of chapter 17.

* * *

Chapter 16.) Something Beautiful (revised)

* * *

"_dazed an earth shakes sleep_

_out of her brightening mind:now everywhere_

_space tastes of the amazement which is hope"_

- e. e. cummings

* * *

December 9, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor

Recap:

_After a very pregnant pause, Kallindo slipped down beside Calina. There was just enough room for two on the settee and each of them tried to be unconcious of the fact that their arms were touching. Somehow sitting side-by-side before a civilized fire seemed more strange and unnerving than huddling together on the frozen ground outside. _

_

* * *

_

Despite the high tide of emotions that had been tossing Calina about all that day and the night before, she was able to sit beside Kallindo at supper with a degree of equanimity. She was aided in doing so by the lively atmosphere of Lady Calamau's table, which boasted hearty food, friendly faces, and plenty of merry, inconsequential discourse. The five students who currently resided with the glass artisan had emerged mysteriously from the woodwork and, by more conventional means, a few favorite neighbors had presented themselves at the front doorstep. All were in rare form; it was quite an uplifting company. Calina knew all of them from her years spent in study there and she was surprised to realize, upon seeing them again, how much she had truly missed them.

Though Kallindo was somewhat reserved at first, he soon made his way into the ebb and flow of conversation and was accepted with tacit enthusiasm by all present as being a well opinioned, gentle elf. Calina was quite pleased by this development, as at that moment it seemed very important that they should approve of him. She was also rather amused with herself for feeling so.

The revolutions of Calina's over-taxed emotions were as follows: Upon the entrance of the first course she was eager for everyone to confirm her good opinion of Kallindo and so shamelessly championed his good qualities to all present. As the second course made its debut, however, she began to fear that her admiration was too apparent and forced herself to keep conversation with him to a minimum. But it was all in vain, for by the ending of the third course her longing for his company had become so strong that she soon forgot to attend to what her other dinner companions were saying. And so, when dessert finally came, she gave over her pretense altogether and allowed herself to seek out, and be granted, Kallindo's particular attention.

But even after reaching this delightful conclusion, Calina knew that she truly lost her will to fight the losing battle when – during an energetic recital by Oiratinwë of one of her less than brilliant though amusing moments – Kallindo took her hand in his beneath the table, gave it a comforting squeeze, and forgot to let go. After that, there was simply no use trying to hide anything. She loved him. And though Kallindo had never spoken the words, she felt such a bond of kinship and understanding with him that she could not but trust in their future together. Let the others stare if they would.

Kallindo felt her eyes upon him. "Dare I ask what the lady is thinking?"

Calina smiled. "You may ask, but I may not choose to tell."

"I see. And what must a poor suppliant do to become worthy of your confidences?"

Blushing quite prettily, Calina picked up her goblet with her free hand, though she did not drink from it. Kallindo still held her right hand firmly in his left. "I shall have to think on that," she finally murmured.

A gentle laugh reached her ears form across the table. One of the guests – a tall, charming elf, whose eccentricities almost rivaled those of Lady Calamau – leaned over to his dinner partner and whispered for all to hear: "I have never seen Calina's eyes so bright, nor her cheeks so rosy. Think you that she is in love?"

A tide of laughter and elbow prodding lapped around the table, for everyone present had wondered at the new comer and at the interesting exchanges between him and their young friend.

"I believe I must agree with you," one of the students piped from several seats down. "For my eyes may have played me false, but I believe I saw a stolen kiss in the garden!"

This brought on a heartier wave of chuckles and general, friendly pandemonium. Calina felt that she should be cross, but the enthusiasm was very invigorating and she instead found herself laughing and spluttering as she tried to take a sip from her wine. Kallindo attempted to glare at the impertinent youth who had revealed their secret, but he could not be bitter either. A broad smirk soon took up residence on his face as he was accosted by questions, admonitions, and pointedly appraising stares.

Oiratinwë watched with amusement as the poor couple was besieged. Finally, she decided to rescue them by standing up at the head of the table and calling her guests to order.

"Really!" she finally declared when the murmurs had died down. "One would think that you all are as gossipy as I am! If you cannot contain your nosiness, at least try and ask only one question at a time. You will drive the poor lad into hiding, and then Calina would never forgive any of us."

"Quite right, my lady, quite right," the elf who had begun the raucous agreed. "But I think there is really only one question that needs to be answered to allay our curiosity." Turning his attention to Kallindo, the elf continued. "You must understand that we are all very fond of Calina – very cross when she left us and very happy that she has come again. Because of this we of course want to know more than we have any business knowing, but will settle for this: Do you fancy our little sea jewel and are you doing your best to make her happy?"

Calina spoke up before Kallindo could compose a reply. These were her friends, and she would not force Kallindo to display himself before strangers. "You rogue, that was two questions, not one. But I shall be gracious with you." She paused and looked slowly around the table until her eyes came to rest on her beloved. "Kallindo is to be my husband. And yes, he is making me very happy." She favored him with a slow smile. "I hope I shall make him so."

Kallindo rested beneath his lady's gaze. All he could think was that her smile was for him. He squeezed her hand gently, trying to convey the fact that she already had made him happy. His true doubts lay in whether he could make her so. It was therefore comforting to know that, at least for the present, he was successful.

* * *

When looking back on the bewildering course of her day, Calina supposed that she really should not be at all surprised that she found herself, late that evening, sitting before the fire with Kallindo's arm about her, leaning against him. However, she was surprised. And she felt, by the sudden stillness of her companion, that he was as well. It seemed to have happened without either of them actually meaning it to.

For a moment, Calina considered drawing back, but then decided against it. There was no cause for such an action, and she was quite comfortable where she was. Now, as to her impulse to put her hand against his chest and snuggle in… that was something she had not, as yet, the courage to do.

The pair sat quietly for several minutes. It was quite late, and though neither wanted to admit it, both were rather ready for the quiet and rest of their own beds. The gathering that evening had been jolly, but it had left them somewhat more at ease with their current circumstances than they felt they had a right to be, considering.

Kallindo's hand made a movement to touch Calina's hair, but retreated quickly. A log cracked in the fire. Calina blinked as though coming awake; her brow furrowed.

"Do I laugh too much?"

"Why would you ask such a thing?"

"I hope I am not overly silly – do you think I am overly silly?" Calina tilted her head up to meet Kallindo's eye and quirked an eyebrow most comically.

Kallindo smiled at her expression, but spoke with a serious undertone. "Through the entire course of our friendship you never paid heed to the thought that the difference in our ages was an impediment. Why do you give place to such misgivings now?"

Calina frowned. "You can always see what it is I really mean. I do not think that is fair… You know all my secrets."

"Not all, my lady – if you will recall our conversation at dinner. But have no fear. You're secrets will always be safe in my keeping." Kallindo urged Calina to rest her head back on his shoulder. Another moment passed before he wound up his courage. "May I touch your hair?"

"You may," Calina whispered.

It was some time before either of them spoke.

"My father will be distressed over me," Calina sighed heavily. "I do not see any way around that."

Kallindo's right hand was tangled in Calina's hair. He withdrew it slowly. "Do you wish to go home?"

"Strangely… no, I do not. I think I begin to agree with Lady Calamau. I have done enough running around the country for one winter. And I am happy here. I do not wish…"

"Yes?"

"I do not think I should return home until we are wed. I…" She ducked her head. A moment passed while she resolved herself to speak.

"After you left, I would go into my workrooms every day and close the door, make them all believe that I was working and engaged. But I didn't work; I just sat in the gloom mostly. And if I did try to make something it would come out all wrong. Or sometimes, it would be so perfect that I couldn't understand how my hands should be able to go on making beautiful things when my own heart was no longer beautiful to me. I threw them all away – there's quite a pile in the back behind the bushes. I felt, and still feel a little, the keen desire to smash the whole collection to bits, but such a terrible thing… I would never forgive myself. I don't think I should be allowed the opportunity."

Kallindo wanted to smash something himself. Instead, he pulled Calina to him with both arms and held her snugly against his chest. He did not speak. There didn't seem to be any words worthy of the silence.

"Thank you," Calina finally murmured against his tunic.

Kallindo smiled sadly. "I don't see that I have ever done anything by you that is worthy of gratitude, but..."

He trailed off. Calina's somber mood shifted; she was on her guard. Pushing herself back, she gazed at Kallindo with a stern aspect.

"Don't you dare marry me because you feel guilty, Kallindo. You've done an admirable job so far of convincing me that you want this, even if not for the same reason as I do. I will gladly be your companion, your friend, your comforter, your lover." Calina looked away toward the fire. "But _do not_ make me your peace of mind – your absolved conscience. I will never regret that I met you, so do not try to convince me, or yourself, that I should!"

Here, Calina adjusted herself so that she was kneeling on the settee, facing Kallindo. With hands that shook only slightly, she framed his face and pulled it toward her. Looking him levelly in the eye she declared: "I am so _happy_ to have known you, Kallindo. I am so happy at the thought of being your wife, of being with you always. In my judgement, you have done very well by me, and you will simply have to learn to put up with my gratitude. You may still be in dispute with your own heart, but know this: I am of the firm belief that Eru himself made me for you. Do not apologize for capturing my heart."

Kallindo watched in awe as a sudden smile blossomed on Calina's face. She leaned in closer.

"For allowing me to bully my way into your life those months ago, you have my thanks." She laid a soft kiss on his lips. "And thanks again." Another kiss.

Letting his eyes sink closed, Kallindo rested his forehead against Calina's and slipped his left hand into her hair. The two sat silently for several moments, letting peace settle back down around them.

"I am not here to absolve myself," Kallindo finally spoke. "I want you to be my wife. I do want that. I still feel that this desire to have you with me is a selfish one, at bottom. But if that is what you need from me, then be at peace."

"That _is_ what I need." Calina drew away, and favored Kallindo with a glowing countenance. "That is what makes this right, don't you see? If we both want this and are determined so see it grow into something beautiful, then it _will_ grow into something beautiful. It will be what we make of it."

Kallindo smiled warmly, restored by his lady's enthusiasm. "It seems obvious that you shall be the voice of optimism in this venture," he teased lightly.

Calina shook her head in mock censure. "Nay. I am the voice of practicality and reason. As adorable as you may look with a forlorn expression on your face, I hope that you will begin putting a few of those trammeled and overly analyzed impulses to some good purpose. You cannot _sigh_ forever!"

"Trammeled impulses? My, but that does sound bleak." Kallindo's tone was very dry. "Just remember that I am the elf who chased you for three days and asked for your pledge in the middle of a snowy field. Wasn't that impulsive enough for you?"

Calina paused, wondering if his cryptic tone implied that he was actually irritated with her. Kallindo winked. Calina's eyes widened in astonishment, her lips parted in a silent 'o'.

"Further proof," the elf murmured. "If I can surprise you, I must have some spontaneity about my person."

Calina giggled unabashedly and finally succumbed to the temptation of resting her head against Kallindo's chest. "Well spoken, dear elf," she murmured as she poked his side playfully.

Kallindo captured her treacherous hand and laid a kiss against it. The two sat there quietly for a long while, enjoying the warmth of each other and of the open fire. Their repose was only interrupted when Calina's head began to loll as she nodded off to sleep. Though he was loath to do it, Kallindo eased her away from him and shook her gently.

"You are not for sleep yet, lovely one. Wake."

Calina blinked sleepily up at him and smiled a slow, somnolent smile. "Time for bed?" she whispered.

Kallind nodded and then rose, bringing her with him. "May your dreams be very sweet," he whispered, as he laid a parting kiss against her forehead.

"You said the same last night," Calina observed absently.

"And were they sweet? Your dreams?"

Calina merely nodded, a peaceful light in her eyes.

Kallindo turned to depart the cozy chamber. He was almost through the door when he paused and turned back: "We should at least send your parents a message, do you not think? Appraising them of what has happened and asking their blessing?"

"Yes. Indeed, we should. But let that be for the morrow."

"For the morrow then. May I escort the lady to her room?"

Kallindo held out a warm hand to her. Calina slipped her own into his without a moment's hesitation. Her dreams were, indeed, very sweet that night.

* * *

A message was sent the next day and Kallindo and Calina settled down into their temporary abode to await a reply. Both felt that a very hopeful beginning had been made and that it only needed encouragement to grow into "something beautiful," as Calina had termed it. Kallindo was not yet ready to put a name to what that something beautiful might be, but he felt its burgeoning nonetheless.

Despite the air of hopefulness, however, the waiting did become a bit nerve-wracking. And so, to keep her hands occupied and her thoughts away from the impending confrontation with her family, Calina stepped back into her role as one of Lady Calamau's pupils. She was up with the other students in the morning, preparing, cataloging, and learning the properties and meanings of different tinctures, patterns, and techniques. In the afternoon, she would be in the kiln room, sweaty and content, generally aiding, but sometimes working on pieces of her own.

Kallindo likewise did what he could to make himself useful. Each morning he would take the horses out of their rather cramped accommodations and exercise them in the fields beyond the city gate. Upon his return, he would groom the horses and then seek the kitchen to try and beg work of the housekeeper (who was in truth merely an old friend of Oiratinwë). The fruits of his inquiries generally amounted to peeling a few potatoes, or drawing water from the well, but it was enough to keep him busy until lunchtime. After this, his pleas fell on deaf ears and he was shooed out of the kitchen. He amused himself by meandering through the livelier streets of the city, reading, or sitting in a corner of the kiln room, unabashedly watching his betrothed.

The last, in particular, was quite amusing indeed. Watching Calina in this setting revealed things about her that he had never known before. For instance, she was careful of her ears; when she tied her hair back she would always pull it over her ears, and continue to reach up absent-mindedly to make sure it was still in place. When she worked at the kiln she was stern-faced and silent, but when she stood by to aid someone else she couldn't stop speaking or singing. Though her confrontations with Oiratinwë on matters of their craft were infrequent, she would always preface the argument by stepping back, setting her hands on her hips, and delivering the first wave of her artistic rebellion in the form of a question.

When Kallindo thus observed her, he tried to remain as inconspicuous as possible. He would, of course, be found out as some point, and then Calina's mannerisms and habits would jumble together in a self-conscious tizzy. After a while, she would perhaps take his stares as a challenge of sorts, and dive back into the activity around the kilns, but never without a look or a certain tilt of her head that declared she knew he was watching her.

One day, shortly after Kallindo had been found _skulking__about_ by Maica, a ruddy-haired she-elf who was the youngest of the lot, Calina set a pair of tongs aside and approached him with determined steps.

Kallindo eyed her quizzically as she took a firm stance in front of him, hands on her hips. She smiled slowly, eyes glinting. His lips responded, sliding into a bemused expression. She cocked her head as her smiled broadened into a Cheshire grin.

"You're not of any use in this corner. Come on."

"Pardon?"

"Come and help me. You should be able to do it – you've arms and legs enough, and a mind that I dare say is not _too_ dull."

Kallindo shook his head at her teasing tone, and then pinned her with his glance, trying to determine if she was in earnest. Calina favored him with the most sincere "come hither" look he had ever beheld on the face of a female; he was up and following her to the kilns.

For the next hour Kallindo was given an introductory lesson on the art of glassmaking. Calina was working on crafting a modestly sized chandelier, which was the working together of many delicate, amber-colored, glass birds. As an accent, she wanted to craft slender feathers to hang down from beneath the candles. One such feather was the result of Kallindo's instruction. Under the guidance of Calina's steady hands and playful eyes, he rolled, pulled, and etched the heated glass until, only shortly after Oiratinwë had called the other students away, he had brought the piece to what was, at least, a recognizable form. Calina overlooked all of its imperfections and praised him heartily.

"You flatter, my lady. I do not suffer under the delusion that it is well done. You may cease your adulation."

Calina laughed. "No, indeed! It is quite well for your first attempt. I am indeed impressed. You are very adept with your hands, I wonder that you are not a craftsman yourself."

Kallindo smiled wryly, wiping his sleeve carefully across his face before taking the glass feather in a pair of tongs and returning it to the coals. He thought he would make one more attempt to clarify the ruffled edges of the plumage before supper.

"I was busy becoming adept at other things, I am afraid. After spending the entirety of my adult life as a warrior, it seemed somewhat late to find another calling. I dally in this and that, and earn my keep…" He faded off, suddenly very conscious of his unimpressive, retiring lifestyle. Would Calina be content simply living in a small house by the ocean, without expectations or diversions or ambitions? Would he be content to keep her there? These were points worth considering.

Slowly, so as not to startle him and cause some accident with the hot glass, Calina slipped her hands around Kallindo's waist and leaned her head against his back. "You must do 'this and that' very well, for I know an elfling back home who positively adores you. And, now that I consider the question, I quite adore you as well. I cannot understand what it is to live in warfare, what it would be like to spend your life learning how to kill just so that your people would survive. I know it does not make any sense at all, but I feel very grateful just now, and very proud of you."

Kallindo pulled the feather from the kiln and laid it across a metal workspace. Moving cautiously, and bending over only slightly to carve at the hot glass, he hoped that Calina would not let go. She didn't. He knew that they made for an odd picture, but to him it was the most intimate and satisfying moment they had yet shared. His hands moved with new-found confidence, proving themselves, telling the story of his thanks where words were insufficient; his back held carefully still, showing Calina that he desired her to rest against him, desired her confidence and trust.

Calina smiled against his tunic and closed her eyes, listening, feeling his fluid movements, sensing his contentment. She gave his torso a gentle squeeze.

"Calina?"

Both elves jumped slightly, caught completely unawares by the sudden voice. Calina's movement pushed Kallindo slightly forward and his hand, which had been hovering barely above the heated feather, touch against it lightly.

"Ai!" he drew his hand back quickly and clenched his fist together at the sting.

"Here, here is the water!" Calina flew to a bucket of water nearby and brought it back, instructing Kallindo to hold his hand out as she slowly poured some of the contents across his burn.

It was in this pose that Calina finally looked up and toward the doorway.

"_Amil_, _atar_! I- I am so glad you have come."

Kallindo looked up and met the puzzled gaze of his future father-in-law.

"Soronhín." He couldn't think of anything else to say, as the water flowing over his hans came to a stop.

Calina put the bucket down and stood next to Kallindo, her hands clasped behind her back. Kallindo shifted away from Calina and then back again, paused, wiped his smudged hands against the leather apron he had been given. Soronhín took several tentative steps forward, leading his wife by the hand and carefully scrutinizing his daughter, while Danneniûl kept her eyes averted as she attempted to quell a rebellious smile.

Kallindo cleared his throat. Danneniûl looked up and gazed upon him warmly, encouraging him to speak.

The brilliant introduction that he had composed in his head ran as follows: _"I know my letter must have been quite startling. If you would allow me to speak with you somewhere more private I am sure many of your worries could be addressed. Calina and I have much to tell yyou."_

What actually came out was: "My letter, you received it… good… good. You are here?"

A moment passed in silence before Kallindo winced and let his eyes wander back to the floor.

With undisguised tenderness, Calina stepped closer to Kallindo's side and slipped her hand into his own. She addressed her father.

"Do not look so grave, _atto_. I have so many happy things to tell you!"

Leaving her place beside Kallindo, Calina approached Soronhín and embraced him, nestling her head against his chest.

"You'll see, _atto_. It is something beautiful."

Soronhín wrapped his daughter firmly in his arms and laid his cheek against her hair. Her brightness had returned; her warmth and vitality comforted him. She was no longer the little shadow he had watched ride away almost two weeks before. She was _Calina_ again: illuminated. His lovely daughter

Perhaps he wouldn't have to rescue her after all. Looking at Kallindo, who still stood several feet off, he noticed the unusual serenity in his eyes. Perhaps they had already rescued each other.

* * *

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Soronhín: Q. "eagle child"

Danneniûl: S. "fallen ember"

Oiratinwë Calamau: Q. "eternal spark/light hands"

Maica: Q. "piercing"

Atar/atto: Q. "father/daddy"

Amil/ammë: Q. "mother/mommy"


	22. The Sweetest Dream: revised

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

A/N: I have taken a little liberty: Everyone seems to think that elves can potentially go without sleep for a very long while. But what if they stretch that ability to its breaking point? How abruptly do they reach the end of their rope, and how does it affect them?

* * *

Chapter 17.) The Sweetest Dream (revised)

* * *

_I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need._

- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

* * *

December 20, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor 

Recap:

_Perhaps he wouldn't have to rescue her after all. Looking at Kallindo, who still stood several feet off, Soronhín noticed the unusual serenity in his eyes. Perhaps they had already rescued each other._

* * *

"You must allow me to thank you once more, Lady Calamau." Soronhín spoke as he set down his cup of tea. "Your hospitality is warm and inviting as always, though we did descend on you so suddenly." 

"I have grown used to unexpected guests this winter," Oiratinwë replied. "And in this case, unexpected does not also mean unwelcome. It is always a joy to host any of your family."

"Knowing your shrewdness, the honor of that sentiment is even more deeply felt."

Oiratinwë smiled her acceptance and then let her eyes rest on each of the company: Soronhín, his wife and his daughter, and Kallindo. All sat with a certain rigidity that was telling.

"I believe you have been tormented with my restraining presence long enough," she stated, rising from her seat. "This room is at your service. No one shall disturb you here."

Silence descended over the room after their host departed. For a brief moment, Kallindo wished that he had been able to drink something a little more fortifying than tea. But then Calina shifted beside him, her knee brushing against his own, and he was reminded that he already held faith and understanding with the most significant person in the room. This would be an uncomfortable ordeal, but it could not impinge upon the fact that she had chosen him.

"To say that I was surprised by the contents of your letter would be an understatement of gross proportions." Soronhín leaned forward in his seat and rested his elbows against his knees, eyeing the couple across from him with a wry expression.

Calina's rebellious lips tilted up into a half-smile. "Indeed," she whispered into her tea as she brought the mug to her lips.

Soronhín eyed her with paternal resignation. "Yes, indeed. Though it seems that my wife was somewhat more prepared for this development than I."

Calina looked at her mother curiously, wondering what her father had meant to imply. Danneniûl responded with a serene glance, but would not interrupt her husband as he continued.

"It is very hard for parents not to interfere in the lives of their children. Indeed, it would often be unjust for us to be silent simply to preserve harmony or avoid temporary discomfort. We were given authority over you for a time, and will always be here to guide you and give counsel when there is need. But," here he paused to observe Kallindo for a moment. "This is your choice, Calina. We will not choose for you and we will support you in your decision."

Calina smiled earnestly. "Thank you, _atto_."

"Though," he continued with a wry smile, "we do have our concerns."

At this point, Danneniûl laid a staying hand against her husband's arm and addressed Kallindo: "We have known you from almost our first days in Fánlitsë, and we know you to be an elf of the most upright character. Though we _do_ have concerns regarding this union, I hope you know that we have never doubted your goodness or your worthiness."

"I do know it, and I am thankful for your faith," Kallindo replied with a grateful smile, "I have been shown nothing but kindness and acceptance from you both since I have had the privilege of being acquainted with you. Your friendship is very dear to me. And yet, I would not presume that it is strong enough to cover the transgression of having stolen away your daughter. Of course you are worried for her future - for my future with her."

Soronhín leaned back as the weight of that last statement settled around him. His second daughter would be taken away, so soon after the first, and he was sad of it. His face betrayed his thoughts, and the sudden sobering of his features prompted Kallindo to address him.

"We spoke once before about the objections to such a match." Calina opened her mouth as if to speak, but she stilled as Kallindo took her hand in his. "But I believe that those objections can be overcome, if we are dedicated to each other. Calina has placed her trust in me and given me her love. For my part, I will cherish her and honor her; I will do my best to learn how to be a good husband to her."

"I do not doubt it," Soronhín replied softly, "and I am not so reluctant to accept this conclusion as you may imagine. Though I was deeply worried at the outset of this journey, and though I am sorry to lose my daughter, I have seen in both of you today something which gives me comfort. It must not be forgotten that my solution would have led you both down a long and difficult path. Though I believe Calina would have recovered in time, I cannot but be glad at the thought that perhaps the two of you have found a better way, together. I certainly cannot condemn that possibility."

Calina rose suddenly and moved to sit next to her father. Sidling up to him she placed a light kiss on his cheek. "I know that you were trying to protect me, to seek the best for me. But do not be disheartened. I believe that I have found it on my own."

Soronhín placed an arm around his daughter and pulled her to him. He then did the same to his wife and kissed the hair of each. Looking up, he caught the approving eye of Kallindo. In the silence, the two shared a quiet smile and a brief moment of understanding.

"Does not our family present a charming example of the picturesque?" Calina addressed Kallindo with a pert smile.

"Most charming, lady."

"Nay, more than charming," Soronhín contradicted, squeezing Calina's shoulder. "To have a good wife and a good daughter at your side, Kallindo. That is one of the sweetest things of all… I hope you shall be blessed in like manner."

"I shall at least in this be blessed," Kallindo murmured, sharing a gentle smile with his betrothed, "to have a very good wife. Of what blessings may yet come, I am ignorant, and yet content: for I have already been graced beyond expectation."

A demure blush graced Calina's cheeks as her bright eyes darted about among the tea service. Kallindo's smile broadened affectionately as he observed her discomposure.

Danneniûl saw all of this and was happy. Soronhín saw all of this and was content.

* * *

The rest of the afternoon, and part of the evening, was spent in a rather sober, though necessary, conference. Both of Calina's parents were determined to have their say before relinquishing their daughter to Kallindo, and in the process, several issues were canvassed which the younger couple were secretly relieved to have brought out into the open. 

_Did he feel the need to gain his parents approval? How would she be received by his family? Would she continue her studies? Where would they live? How would he contribute to the support of his family? How would they reconcile the different perspectives that came with their difference in age?_ These were the turns of the conversation which, weighty though it was, did wind down shortly before supper.

Though invited to stay for the evening meal, Soronhín and Danneniûl both professed a wish to return to their inn. They were both weary from their rushed journey up the coast, and there was also much to think of and speak of in the privacy of their own chambers.

As mother and daughter bid farewell with a long embrace and many quiet words, Soronhín and Kallindo were left to face one another. A moment hung precariously between them. Soronhín seemed on the verge of speaking and so Kallindo waited, though he felt the need to bridge the gap between them somehow. Finally, the elder elf put a hand on Kallindo's shoulder and drew him further away from the ladies.

"Tell me this at least, to calm the last fear of this father's heart: Is your heart free? Does it cling to another?"

Kallindo met his friend's gaze firmly and replied simply. "My heart is free."

Soronhín gave a succinct nod. "You have my blessing."

"And your friendship?" Kallindo inquired boldly.

"Both friend and father?" There was a pause. "Yes. You have my friendship. Though it will take some time for me... Yes."

The two parted as suddenly as they had come together. Soon after, Calina walked with her parents out to the gate to bid them farewell. After final embraces were exchanged, they departed and Calina returned to the house to search from Kallindo. Her search did not last long. After a few turns a pair of long legs arrested her progress. Kallindo was sprawled out across the floor, his back resting against the wall, eyes closed.

She shook her head in amusement. "What _are_ you doing on the floor, silly?

Kallindo shrugged. "It seemed as good a place as any."

Calina was slightly confused by his lethargic tones. It was a stark contrast to his demeanor when she had been with him only minutes before.

"Are you alright? You look quite pale."

Kallindo shrugged. "I will be fine. Sit with me."

Calina obliged him. Kallindo opened his eyes long enough to find one of her hands with his own. A smile spread slowly across Calina's face.

"You are positively worn out," Calina finally pronounced, shaking her head. To herself she mused: 'Poor thing, I have run his head ragged these last months.'

Kallindo nodded once.

"And yet," Calina continued, "this slumberous mood has come on quite suddenly, has it not?" She smiled impishly. "I hope that I and my family did not tax you over much."

Kallindo opened his eyes and turned his head toward hers. "They are also my family now... and no, neither they nor you are the cause of my present condition. In truth, I have not slept well these past few nights. That is… I haven't slept at all. And it seems now that I am finally to suffer for it. I very much look forward to crawling into my bed tonight, I can assure you. But, as you see, I found the need for a temporary respite to hold me over until then. Couldn't walk another step."

Impulsively, Calina reached up a hand and smoothed Kallindo's hair back, even as she chided him. "You should take better care. Oh! And I made you work with me this afternoon at the kiln. It is a wonder you did not fall asleep in the coals. How many nights have you done this?"

Kallindo scrunched up his face in concentration. "Five… no, six… Yes. Six nights."

Calina's mouth fell open. "Kallindo," she breathed, drawing out the syllables. "I don't even know what to say."

A groggy smile adorned Kallindo's lips. "Oh, feel free to scold," he murmured, as his eyes wandered waywardly toward her lips.

Calina heaved a great sigh, letting her head rest again the wall, still turned toward him. "I have not the heart for it."

"Kind heart," Kallindo whispered as, with somnolent imbalance, he followed his gaze and tilted slightly toward her. Their heads were very close now: Calina's slightly upturned to meet his drowsy gaze. She flushed slightly as Kallindo studied her face, slowly and quite thoroughly, with a half-smile on his lips.

"I was thinking of you… all these nights. Thinking of you, trying to puzzle you out… it is strange, so strange… puzzling."

Calina's breath was very shallow, but she managed to whisper: "Kallindo, are you quite conscious of what you are saying?"

He smiled crookedly. "Vaguely, madam. Ever so vaguely."

Tilting further, Kallindo's lips seemed to meet hers almost by accident. It was a languid, sensual kiss that left Calina's nerves tingling. This impression was heightened even more by the fact that Kallindo did not press himself against her. His body, hovering slightly over her, seemed to eclipse her in its warmth, without demanding anything.

As the kiss progressed, Calina began to have the distinct impression that this was the sort of caress that should not be undertaken in a public hallway. And yet, she could not bring herself to draw away. She could only hope that Kallindo would soon do so for the both of them, as she was feeling rather light-headed and disoriented.

Several moments passed before Kallindo granted her unspoken wish, pulling back ever so slightly and allowing her to gain a few startled breaths.

"And are you quite conscious of what you are _doing_, sir?" she finally murmured, half between a sigh and a laugh.

Kallindo shook his head, drawing his eyebrows together. "I think… yes. I - forgive me… that is, if I have offended you."

Calina could not but smile affectionately at the exhausted elf before her. "No," she replied. "No, you have not offended me in the slightest."

To prove her sincerity, she squeezed his hand and nestled her head down against his shoulder. The pair sat quietly for some time after that, hands entwined, simply enjoying the stillness and wondering at the peace that existed between them. However, their solitude was eventually broken when Maica appeared from around a corner in the hallway.

"There you are!" She cried jovially. "I've been sent out by the Old Lady to find you. We've been holding supper."

"Everyone is waiting, then? Oh, but I really should help you get to bed, Kallindo... Kallindo?"

"It seems as though he has already found a bed wherein to cast his dreams," Maica whispered over the unconscious form of Kallindo.

"We cannot leave him here," Calina whispered. "Won't you help me move him?"

With great care, the two carried Kallindo a few paces down the hallway and took him into the cozy room in which he and Calina had sat the evening they had become betrothed. He was soon ensconced amongst the pillows on the largest settee with a wrap tucked around him. His poor feet stuck out at the end. Calina smiled at the picture he presented.

Maica beckoned to her to come to supper, but she sent the younger she-elf on without her. Turning back, she knelt beside the settee and studied his peaceful countenance. With reverence, she placed a kiss upon his lips. "May your dreams be very sweet," she whispered wistfully, adjusting her position to recline against the skirt of the couch with her head near Kallindo's on the cushion.

Sitting there quietly, listening to his gentle breathing, it was not long before Calina too stepped out onto the path of dreams. And if her position rather tended toward a crick in the neck, and if his long legs slid indecorously off the thin settee in the middle of the night, neither one thought it of any account. Especially when they were rewarded for their troubles by waking up to each other's dream-filled eyes in the morning.

* * *

"Calina." 

"Yes."

"You stayed with me?"

"I did."

"All through the night?"

"All through."

"Are you not weary and stiff from such an endeavor?"

"I am."

"Kind heart."

"Let's run away."

"Together?"

"Together."

"Where shall we run to?"

"To the seashore."

"Shall we ride?"

"Yes. And be back again before midday."

"Take care, lady. Once I have absconded with you, I may not want to bring you back."

"I never took you for a villain. Would you hold me against my will? "

"Nay. But I might find ways of persuading you to stay."

"The shore it is then."

"Lead the way, madam."

* * *

As the sun tilted fully above the horizon, two cloaked figures could be seen stealing out through the city gate, horses in tow. They made nary a sound as they descended down past the monuments and towering trees of the causeway. But soon, they were racing across the flat plains below Tármírë, toward the sea and into the heart of the sun. 

An hours ride brought Calina and Kallindo to the water's edge. The former jumped gracefully from her seat and removed her shoes in a twinkling. She was then in the water, holding her skirt up as she squished her toes around in the wet sand. Kallindo, thinking to remain dry, stood a few feet away from the waves and watched her. This, however, was not to be born. With only a mischievous glance to warn him, Kallindo found himself under attack as Calina sent a hearty spray in his direction.

What resulted then was not in the spirit of dignity, grace, or decorum. Between the splashing of water, the whoops, and the laughter, the setting of races, and the gathering of colorful shells it might be said that these two adult elves simply played together, like truant elflings in the joy of their freedom. So glorious was this release, that their juvenile antics did not cease until they had progressed a good half mile up the coast, whereupon they mounted a small knoll and collapsed within a copse of trees, sides aching with mirth.

"I haven't played like that in such a very long time," Kallindo sighed, trying to regain his breath.

Calina's heart sang. "Then I am doing you some good after all, am I not?"

A lock of her hair blew against Kallindo's arm and he captured it, letting his fingers trail along its silvery length. "You, Calina Soronhíniell, have done me a world of good."

Calina stilled, then looked out across the sea. Kallindo followed her gaze and the two sat in silence for several moments, contemplating the expanse before them.

"You told me once that the sea gave you great comfort. And yet you told my father that you would live with me in Tármírë, while I perfected my craft. Will you be happy in a stone city? Will not you miss the sea?"

The winter breeze quickened, sending Calina's hair tumbling behind her shoulders. The wind slipped through her wet clothes, but she was not cold. Merely keen to know his answer. She did not want his heart to ache on account of her.

Kallindo touched her shoulder. She turned to him and met his honest eyes.

"Do not worry over me. I hate to see it. Do not worry any more."

"How can I not, when you will not answer my question?" she pressed.

Time passed and Kallindo did not speak. Minutes swept away and he simply looked at her. It was unnerving to Calina, and she had almost resolved to change the subject when Kallindo finally spoke, tenderly and softly:

"I should hope that I would love my wife far more than I love the sea. That is the answer."

Calina's heart caught raggedly at his words. "What do you mean?"

"What do I mean?" His deep, warm gaze enveloped her. "I mean that here, on this indifferent piece of sod, with water in my shoes and sand in my hair, I have finally found the courage to say what I should have said long ago."

Drawing close to her, he placed a gentle kiss upon her brow. "I love my wife and you are she. You are my sweetest dream. And I will live by the sea or in a stone city or high up in a bird's nest to be with you."

A single tear graced Calina's cheek, but Kallindo did not attempt to wipe it away. It was her testament, her love.

"Yes," Calina whispered steadily, touching his face in wonder, "I am your wife. Kallindo, let us-"

"Shhh," he whispered, placing a finger upon her lips. "Be still now, love. Let me lead as I should have led."

The confusion in Calina's eyes slowly melted into understanding. She acquiesced silently as Kallindo stood and drew her to her feet.

Taking both her hands within his own he spoke out across the sea, to the listening wind: "Let any who hears be my witness. I am ready to receive the great blessing I have been given. Today I will take Calina as my wife," he turned to her, "if she will have me as her husband."

"You are my husband, Kallindo. For all the ages of the world."

And so, there upon winter grasses, within a sanctuary of roots, they were wed and two hearts became one.

* * *

Kallindo blinked against the light of the afternoon sun and instinctively tightened his hold upon his wife, pulling her more snuggly against his chest. 

'Wife!'

The silent exclamation seemed to ring out in Kallindo's head, spreading a joyful tremor through his body. He had a wife!

In awe, Kallindo let his gaze travel down the sleeping form of his new wife. There she was - lovely and soft as the petals of a newly opened flower - nestled safely in his arms. It was the stuff of dreams.

And yet, with great surety, Kallindo knew that this was not a dream. He could feel her, down to the very bottom of his soul. She was inside of him: in his heart and mind. Her very presence permeated him. This was the essence of their bond and it was…

"Breathtaking."

Calina stirred at the sound of her husband's voice, but she did not awaken. Kallindo was glad of that, for he garnered a very satisfying pleasure in simply gazing upon her. She was so tranquil and perfect, her soft breath warm on his shoulder. After a few more moments passed in this silent contemplation, he drew the courage to speak once more.

"I never thought of you as delicate before, but you are. Did you know that? As delicate as a spray of glass; strong and supple as the willows; beautiful as a winter morning with your silver hair." He drew his face closer to hers. "See… you even have me spouting poetry, you are so wonderful."

Kallindo's heart seemed to compress as a wave of tender protectiveness washed over him. "Thank you… thank you for making me a husband, for trusting me with your heart. From this day forward, it is my most prized possession."

Calina stirred once more at his voice, and this time she did awaken. A sleepy smile adorned her lips as she beheld the face of her husband.

"We are late," he whispered playfully.

"Late?" she questioned.

"You said that we would return by midday. It is already passed."

"So it is," Calina acknowledged drowsily. "Let it pass."

"You see," he murmured, as he leaned over her and began to place a trail of kisses from her shoulder to her neck. "I did persuade you to stay with me."

"I suppose I should have put up more resistance," she sighed dramatically. "But your charms overcame me."

Kallindo drew away and looked down at Calina. "_You_ undid _me_, I'm afraid, and my chivalry was overthrown. I feel I must make some sort of an apology. I never expected to wed you in the middle of a winter's day on top of a barren hill. Not the most illustrious way to begin our lives together."

Calina drew Kallindo's face to her and placed a lingering kiss upon his lips. "It was perfect. I would not have had it any other way."

"I would never dream of contradicting you," Kallindo replied gallantly, returning a kiss for a kiss. "Still, I think it would be wise to return to the city. You may not feel the cold now, but when you taste the comforts of a warm fire and a glass of wine you may wish you had had them earlier."

"Very well," Calina acceded reluctantly. "Let us return."

As soon as Kallindo drew away from her, Calina became immensely aware of her own nakedness. She tried valiantly not to blush, but was sure she did not succeed. She turned away from her husband as he began dressing and quickly found her shift, slipping it over her head and then scrambling into her dress. As soon as she finished pulling on her last boot, she rushed off to gather the horses, which were still roaming free on the sands.

"Wait, Calina."

"Yes?" She turned around self-consciously.

"Look."

In his hand, Kallindo held up the glass thorn which she had given him. "I know I come to this marriage almost empty-handed, and have nothing proper to give you as a gift. But will you receive this from me, as a token of the day?"

"I do not understand," Calina replied, her discomposure giving way to honest confusion. "Why should I have it?"

"Because I do not need it any more." Kallindo smiled broadly as though he had declared the most wonderful truth.

Calina, however, was still clearly unsure of his meaning, so he continued. "When you gave this to me, you offered it as a token of remembrance. And it did its duty well. Every day,

cool against my skin. It kept you with me: a thorn in my flesh that would not give me a moment's peace. My thoughts were continually turning towards you. But now... now you are with me always. I can feel you within my very spirit. So you see, I do not need it any longer."

With solemn movements, Kallindo opened Calina's hand and placed the thorn against her palm. "It has completed the work for which it was made. Now it returns to the hand of its creator as a remembrance of our joy."

Calina closed her hand around the thorn and slowly stepped into the circle of Kallindo's arms, twining her arms around his waist and nestling her head beneath his chin. She didn't say anything. Nothing needed to be said.

* * *

No! It is not over yet… 

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Soronhín: Q. "eagle child"

Danneniûl: S. "fallen embers"

Oiratinwë Calamau: Q. "eternal spark/light hands"

atar/atto: Q. "father/daddy"

amil/ammë: Q. "mother/mommy"


	23. The Turning Point of Joy: revised

Disclaimer: I don't own Middle Earth or any of Tolkien's creations and I'm not making any money.

Names/Pronunciations/Misc will come at the end of each chapter.

"" signals a footnote

"text" signals dialogue

'text' signals thoughts

**A/N**:

Well, friends, you have been very patient with me. I know a lot of you have probably dropped off as my post-rate has consistently slowed down. I understand that all to well. To those of you who are still reading: kudos to you, and may this final chapter appease some of your curiosity.

This is indeed the final chapter. Not only of this story, but probably also of my LotR fanfiction writing career. It's been a fun few years, but real life conspires against me, and so I must go. I will continue writing, just not in this realm.

My apologies to those who were expecting a more lengthy continuation of this story. Part of the reason that it took me so long to post again was because I was in the mindset that the story should include a few more chapters. But I never could figure out what those chapters could be, that would move the story forward. What I eventually decided was that the reason I couldn't find anything else to say was because there really was nothing left to say. The last chapter brought a conclusion for me, and I felt that anything else that was added would just be frosting... and we all know that too much frosting isn't good for anyone.

Thank you everyone. You've made my sojourn in Middle Earth a real treat. I hope you all continue to write and read and think lovely, whimsical thoughts.

Namárië

Iluvien

* * *

Chapter 18.) The Turning Point of Joy (revised) 

_

* * *

I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need. _

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

* * *

April 21, 210 Fourth Age, Valinor 

Recap:

_Drawing close to her, he placed a gentle kiss upon her brow. "I love my wife and you are she. You are my sweetest dream. And I will live by the sea or in a stone city or high up in a bird's nest to be with you." _

Four months later...

* * *

"There goes the cider again," Danneniûl commented wryly as the small wooden barrel rolled tipsily across the ever-tilting floor of the broad-cart. 

The ladies laughed softly, lazily in the sun, unconcerned. Calina stopped the barrel with her foot, considered its squat dimensions, then gave up her seat on the cart rail in favor of the barrel set on its flat end and wedged into the corner.

"There, that's a proper use for it," she crowed.

"I wish I had thought of that," Cora muttered good-humoredly, "This railing does not quite agree with my backside I'm afraid."

"You could always get out and walk with the lords of the earth, up ahead there," Ránendë suggested, nodding her head toward the front of the caravan, where the husbands, brothers, fathers, and sons led the way through the valley.

"With them? Never! Look at them strut along in the sunshine. I think they're all feeling quite god-like today. I'm sure I wouldn't be able to bear their company for one minute!"

The mothers and daughters laughed and nodded and pursed their lips.

"One can understand, I suppose," Oiratinwë called back from her seat at the reins. "A winter long as this one was makes the blood grow restless. Lords were never meant to be caged so long."

"Nor ladies, either," Calina countered, springing up and dancing a little whirl in the middle of the broad-cart, among the sacks and barrels and crates of provisions. Vaniméra began to clap in time and soon the ladies were taking turns kicking up their heels, while all the while trying not to step on the apples or squash the cakes. Amid the confusion Cora stole Calina's seat on the barrel, Calina stole Terévlia's seat on a pile of blankets, and Terévlia collapsed in the middle of the impromptu dance floor, gasping with laughter. They were all still laughing when Oiratinwë pulled the cart up next to the bank of the snaking river, where the others had begun to congregate.

"Have you been at the celebrations without us?" Soronhín accused gently, coming up along side the ladies and reaching into the cart to begin unloading.

Danneiûl, a crate of seed-cakes and dates in her arms, hopped down next to him. "We were merely warming our feet for the long dance, weren't we, ladies?"

"Oh yes," Cora said with mock sobriety, "and you and your companions should follow our example. For what if we should out-dance you this evening? Where would you hide your shame?"

"In our mother's skirts!" Alassar cried merrily, grabbing Cora around the waist and hoisting her unceremoniously out of the cart and across his shoulder.

"Oh, villain! Put me down this instant," she laughed and tugged at his hair.

"Only if you promise me a dance. A dance I say!" And off he went toward the river with his prize, threatening to dunk her in it if she did not honor him with a dance.

Calina watched with great amusement as her friend was absconded with by Kallindo's friend. "I hope she relents, for he is the sort that will follow through on his threats."

"Look sharp, sister dear," Ránendë trilled, "Here come our husbands and they have a wily look about them."

Ehtúro arrived first, taking his wife by the waist and lifting her down with a flourish. Calina shook her head at them both and then turned to pick up the forgotten barrel of cider. With cask in hand, she sat on the rail of the cart and put her legs over the side, to hop down. Before she could descend, however, her progress was blocked by the person of Kallindo, standing in front of her and placing his hands on the rail to either side of her.

"Hello, wife."

"Hello, husband. Shall you let me down do you think?"

"And let Ehtúro outdo me? Oh, where would I hide my shame?" He sighed melodramatically.

Calina eyed him with a playful glint in her eyes. "If you lay a hand on my waist, I'll throw you over my shoulder like poor Cora and go dump you in the river."

"And should I, a _great warrior_ of Middle Earth, be frightened by such a threat?"

"You know me well enough, I dare say. Judge for yourself the veracity of my claim."

"I do not think you could do it," Kallindo averred, catching Calina off guard with a quick kiss to the nose.

"Oh you don't?"

"No, I don't." And with that he lifted her easily from the rail and set her onto the ground.

Calina raised her right eyebrow and set the barrel of cider down onto the grass. "You have brought this upon yourself, _husband_."

Soon the small scuffle which began next to the cart turned into an all-out chase among the other carts, beside the river, and up the valley. And if both participants returned to the encampment rather more damp then when they had left, neither would admit that the other had had any hand in it.

* * *

"They have done well, have they not?" Denneniûl sighed as she leaned against her husband's shoulder near one of the fires. Her gaze lay on a small bend in the river. Soronhín turned his head in that direction and saw through the dusky air Calina and Kallindo sitting on the far bank. 

"My glass-blowing daughter and my sheep-herding son," he murmured with a smile. "Yes, they have done well. I am very glad that he has found such suitable employment. I think he enjoys being able to tend and care for growing things. It does him good."

"And it does your daughter good. They begin to grow with each other and reflect each other. Joy for joy. It is a good match. They have done well."

* * *

"Have we done well, do you think?" Calina poked her husband's ribs playfully, tilting her head away as he tried to retaliate by tickling her ear with a dandelion. 

"Excessively well, I should say," he responded wryly, "Four months married and you still won't let me near your ticklish ears. Where is the trust?"

Calina giggled and evaded the dandelion once more before she was caught by Kallindo's arm and made to hold still as he advanced the offending flower slowly toward her ear.

"No, no, no, no, no - you don't want to do such a thing to your loving wife!" She cringed and laughed in anticipation of the ordeal.

"You're right," he whispered fondly, the dandelion only a hairs-breadth away, "I couldn't do it."

The flower was removed and Kallindo laid a soft kiss in its place. Calina melted, nestling her head into the crook of his neck and slipping her arms around his waist.

"Ah, there is the trust," Kallindo teased, wrapping her firmly in his embrace.

The crickets chirped merrily and, across the shallow river, Kallindo heard the pipes begin to murmur for the beginning of the dance.

"Yes. I think we have done very well."

* * *

THE END 

* * *

Things to Know:

Q: Quenya

S: Sindarin

Calina: Q. "illuminated"

Kallindo: Q. "noble heart"

Soronhín: Q. "eagle child"

Danneniûl: S. "fallen embers"

Oiratinwë Calamau: Q. "eternal spark/light hands"

Alassar: Q. "joy stone"

Cora: Q. "encircle"

Ránendë: Q. "moon pool"

Ehtúro: Q. "spear victor"

Vaniméra: Q. "good wish (or desire)"

Terévlia: Q. "fine thread"


End file.
